Project QAF - 105
++SCENES++
OMG, Brian’s trick of the day, the tattooed hunk, making baby noises and then acting all manly and seductive - hilarious! And Brian doesn’t even remember how the sex was.
Mikey meets Dr. Dave! BTW, doesn’t it seem odd that Emmett would dress Michael up like a clown to go on a date at Papagano’s when he’s supposed to plan parties for every occasion later in the show?
This episode is all about coming out stories:
- Michael hiding who he is at work;
- Jennifer trying to come to terms with having a gay son;
- Brian telling Justin that his parents still don’t know about him being gay.
One other thing concerning Lindsay: Don’t get me wrong - I’m not a Lindsay hater but this episode makes it kinda hard to like her. She’s constantly enabling him (when she invites him to dinner - “Friday? Early? So you can still hit the bars?“; when Brian actually tries to apologize for being late she tells him to stop because it doesn’t become him). And then she acts appalled because he lives up to her expectations and doesn’t come for dinner. WTF?
Plus, Brian tells Lindsay that he knows she loves him more than she does Melanie and Lindsay doesn’t contradict him. Just saying.
We learn that Brian actually went out on a date once. I wonder who it was with… Ideas?
If I had to put together a list of evidence that shows Brian’s… (hmm, what should I call it? Devotion? Commitment?) to Justin, here’d be no. 1: He sends his trick away when Justin appears at his door.
++PICS++
++QUOTES++
JUSTIN
I like dick. I wanna get fucked by dick. I wanna suck dick. I like sucking dick. And I'm good at it, too.
BRIAN
If I don't get this account, I'll be fucked. And without lube.
EMMETT
And that's a bad thing?
LINDSAY
There's nothing alternative about us. We're just as fucked up as any other family in the history of the world.
JUSTIN
My mom's out of control. Now she's following me.
BRIAN
That must be an inherited trait.
BRIAN
The point of a date, or so it's been explained to me by those who do that sort of thing, is that you actually get to know the other person before you fuck them.
++DEBBIE’S SHIRTS++
Deb's shirt reads “Out Is In”
++MUSIC++
Eichelrück by Da Hool (plays when Brian and Marvin are at Babylon, during the Big Dick contest)
Find a German person and ask them to translate the title of this track. I’d be very curious to hear what they’ll come up with.
And one of my favorites: Sexy Boy by Kinky Boyz feat. Kia
(Click the button at the bottom of the page. The countdown starts running; you'll have to wait 60 seconds for the download link to appear. Don't get confused by the cyrillic letters.)
++FICTION++
A/N: This started out as a cool idea but ended up being… well, this. However, I just need to post it so that I can move on to the next episode and hope that whatever I’m gonna come up with next will turn out better than this one.
Fic: A Mother’s Thoughts
Jennifer’s POV
Debbie’s words keep running through my mind.
How could he not know? You always know.
Do you? Do you always know? Did I? Did I choose to ignore it? I told her it was because we didn’t want to see. Is that the truth? It’s easy to reflect and recognize the signs if you know what to look for.
I wouldn’t ever admit it to Craig but, in all honesty, I always loved that I had this special bond with Justin. That he seemed to love to go to museums and art galleries with me. That, despite his father’s persuasions, he wanted to join the art club and did not take up some sports activity. Was it me? Did I push him into a direction that caused him to turn out gay? But more importantly - is it something I regret? What will his teachers say? Will his classmates treat him any differently? What about our family - how are they going to react?
Back in college, when I was dating Jay McLaughlin, we went to one of the parties in his dorm. Craig was living there as well but I’d never met him before. When Jay and his buddies were immersed into a talk about hockey tactics, Craig came over, offered me punch, and introduced himself. God, he was so charming. And he was funny. He wouldn’t take no for an answer even though I’d told him repeatedly that I was there with Jay. Craig even offered to fight him for me which made me laugh. I didn’t realize then that he meant it. And I’m ashamed to say that, a couple of weeks later, at another party, when Craig and Jay did get into a fight, I felt flattered; flattered because it was about me. In my rational mind I realized full well that it was wrong and repulsive but I couldn’t keep my cheeks from flushing with pleasure whenever friends of mine would gasp and hold their breath in admiration. We’d gossip about how old school gentlemanly Craig was behaving. And it was all true - he knew exactly the right words to say; he brought flowers to every date and added chocolate on special occasions. He didn’t stint on compliments and told me I was beautiful and that our life together would be perfect. It’s funny how we never discussed what exactly perfect entailed. Once reality and daily routine set in, I found myself stripped bare of my naiveté and in a place I never wanted to be; in a life I never wanted to live. But Justin… Justin made everything better and brighter. If I ever told him that I wish I’d never had him, then it wasn’t because I regretted having him. I could never regret that. It was because he (and his sister) are the reason I cling to a marriage that long ago ceased to satisfy me because I want them to have everything - and everything includes having a nice home, a mom and a dad.
I still want him to have everything. I want him to have an easy life, fulfilled and carefree. I think that’s something every mother wishes for her child. Unfortunately, I am well aware of the fact that we live in a world where homosexuals have to fight against people’s narrow-minded opinions. Am I one of them? I just don’t want his life to be a constant fight - against discrimination, prejudice, and harassment. Life’s hard already as it is. I don’t want him to be forced to fight for even the simplest things that are so naturally accessible to straight people - marriage, children, social security, and a million other small things that people take for granted.
I want him to be a teenager and enjoy normal teenage things: Fall in love, find his passion or something that would make him happy, go to the prom and dance with a girl. I want to help him pack his things when he moves out to go to college and cry into my pillow when he’s gone because my little boy left home. I don’t want to spend nights lying awake wondering if he’s alright or if some bigot has taken offence to him being who he is. I don’t want him to get hurt.
I don’t want him being socially stigmatized to a point where people would judge him based on his sexuality instead of seeing him for the wonderful, caring, talented, and passionate person that he is. I keep telling myself that these concerns are the only reason why I have trouble accepting this situation that none of us chose to be in. But if I were honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I’m not at all comfortable with the physical aspect of his sexuality.
I like dick. I wanna get fucked by dick. I wanna suck dick. I like sucking dick. And I’m good at it, too.
As disturbing as it was to hear these words pass from my own son’s lips, once the shock passed, they made me realize something: He will never hide. He will never be pushed into feeling ashamed for who he is. He is still this stubborn and strong-willed person that I raised. He knows what he wants and he will go after what he thinks was made to be his. He is still my son.
But I do wonder if being gay, with all the repercussions that he is bound to encounter will change him, will take away his chances at having it all. Judging by the doodling in his sketch book that I ‘accidentally’ found, he seems to be in love. With a boy named Brian. It may not be the future I envisioned for him but is it ever? Doesn’t the job of a parent entail not to be disappointed when the child’s choices turn out to be different from what you would have chosen for him? Especially when what he turns out to be isn’t even a choice? I know Craig won’t see it that way. I also know, even though in the last twenty years I’ve become very adapt in ignoring certain things and learned to turn a blind eye on them, making excuses and accepting compromises I never agreed to in the first place, that in the end it all comes down to a decision between my husband or my son. Which really is not a decision at all. Justin is my everything - my feisty, courageous, intelligent, little boy. I could never give up on him.
The End.
Go to the next Episode - 106