A B/J Ficlet: Needs
Summary: Brian contemplates what he needs and wants. Spoiler: It’s Justin.
Disclaimer: Go on, sue!
A/N: A dear friend needs a story because sometimes life does suck majorly. pet0511, this is not the story I was telling you about. As I already told you, I’ll post that one once I’m free of all the other obligations. I rummaged through my hard drive and found this ficlet. Hope you’ll like it.
Will be cross-posted on bjfic once I work up the nerve.
Needs
On a subconscious level, I always needed him. And I don’t necessarily mean Justin. I mean a person like him. If I would have pictured myself with anyone, he would have been tall, dark, handsome, successful, accomplished. I don’t think I would have ever willingly gone for the artistic type, the blond, quirky guy who was too young for me in age and too mature for me in spirit. But I came to understand that, had the choice been up to me, I would have made the wrong one. I didn’t know it then, but Justin was exactly what I’ve needed. Someone to question me and my beliefs; someone to keep me on the edge; someone tenacious and wise; someone who consciously chooses to be naïve every once in a while and to give people a chance to surprise him.
It could only ever be Justin.
But somewhere between him inviting me to his prom and me asking him to marry me, I stopped contemplating what it was that I needed. I stopped brooding over my need for him in my life. I stopped devising plans that would push him away from me and would prove to everyone else, even if not to myself - never to myself - that I didn’t need him. I stopped and, for the first time, focused on what it was that I wanted. And what I wanted was… him.
I wanted his touch and his kisses. I wanted to hear his voice when it was hoarse from moans and I wanted to see his eyes when they clouded over with passion or lust. And I wanted to see them look at me with love. I wanted the perfectionist artist and the elitist WASP, the boundless energy and the easy excitement and over-the-top enthusiasm. I wanted to wake up to the sound of pencil scraping on paper. I wanted his approval and his opinion. I wanted to share my thoughts with him because he was a free spirit. His views on things were never colored by prejudice or limitations. He didn’t believe in those. And if there was one person whom I truly believed could do anything, be anything, have anything - it was him.
The world was no match for him. It could never be his fence. In this world, he’s royalty by character. My prince. He was what I wanted; I wanted him more than I needed him.
I wanted Justin.
Disclaimer: Go on, sue!
A/N: A dear friend needs a story because sometimes life does suck majorly. pet0511, this is not the story I was telling you about. As I already told you, I’ll post that one once I’m free of all the other obligations. I rummaged through my hard drive and found this ficlet. Hope you’ll like it.
Will be cross-posted on bjfic once I work up the nerve.
Needs
On a subconscious level, I always needed him. And I don’t necessarily mean Justin. I mean a person like him. If I would have pictured myself with anyone, he would have been tall, dark, handsome, successful, accomplished. I don’t think I would have ever willingly gone for the artistic type, the blond, quirky guy who was too young for me in age and too mature for me in spirit. But I came to understand that, had the choice been up to me, I would have made the wrong one. I didn’t know it then, but Justin was exactly what I’ve needed. Someone to question me and my beliefs; someone to keep me on the edge; someone tenacious and wise; someone who consciously chooses to be naïve every once in a while and to give people a chance to surprise him.
It could only ever be Justin.
But somewhere between him inviting me to his prom and me asking him to marry me, I stopped contemplating what it was that I needed. I stopped brooding over my need for him in my life. I stopped devising plans that would push him away from me and would prove to everyone else, even if not to myself - never to myself - that I didn’t need him. I stopped and, for the first time, focused on what it was that I wanted. And what I wanted was… him.
I wanted his touch and his kisses. I wanted to hear his voice when it was hoarse from moans and I wanted to see his eyes when they clouded over with passion or lust. And I wanted to see them look at me with love. I wanted the perfectionist artist and the elitist WASP, the boundless energy and the easy excitement and over-the-top enthusiasm. I wanted to wake up to the sound of pencil scraping on paper. I wanted his approval and his opinion. I wanted to share my thoughts with him because he was a free spirit. His views on things were never colored by prejudice or limitations. He didn’t believe in those. And if there was one person whom I truly believed could do anything, be anything, have anything - it was him.
The world was no match for him. It could never be his fence. In this world, he’s royalty by character. My prince. He was what I wanted; I wanted him more than I needed him.
I wanted Justin.