well im using the saftey of my livejournal to vent. well not even vent. gloat would be the correct word ( Read more... )

well I haven't been updating my journal very often. Nothing to exciting has been going on. we still have no snow. Well I take that back. It snowed yesterday morning on my way to work, but none of it stuck. its kind of nice ( Read more... )

people fucking suck.

no matter what i do, i cannot change.

i, for some reason, cannot accept that people, mostly girls, are sneaky little slutty bitches. now, i know not all of them are, but the list keeps getting smaller and smaller on the ones i can actually trust.

i started my job at horizon blue cross blue shield new jersey this past tuesday. i had to go to newark for the day for orientation. it was my first time in newark, and the first time ihad ridden an actual train. it was pretty scary. getting there wasnt too bad, it wasn an hour at 613 in the morning. getting back was pretty scary. i didnt know how ( Read more... )

im pretty proud of myself. i havent been dieting but i have lost 10lbs in the past two months! yay me ( Read more... )

hmm..well i thought things didnt go so well with the horizon blue cross interview/open house, but they called me yesterday and we set up a second interview. the lady who called me told me i met with her boss and i stuck out in her mind. so thats a plus for me. the benefits are great, and much needed ( Read more... )

i am not sure what my problem is anymore. i dont know why i try so hard to push people away when i know that is not what i want. i dont know why its so hard for me to trust people no matter what they do to prove themselves. no one should have to prove themselves ( Read more... )

For whatever reasons i was thinking about this last night, but if my mom had died instead of my dad, i honestly think i would have wound up hating him. I love my dad to pieces and of course i wish he was still alive, but i dont think he would have been able to take care of two teenage girls while in so much sudden grief. I think he would have ( Read more... )

last night while i was taking a shower to remove a lot of icky sweat from a 6 hour car ride back to nj, i discovered a medium sized, hard lump on the side of my neck. it doesnt hurt, but its very hard and i can kind of move it around a little bit. i dont know what it is..but obviously im going to keep a close eye on it and see if it changes at all ( Read more... )

today has been quite different from yesterday for many reasons. yesterday it was cold, rainy, damp and a bit dreary. today, its sunny hot and not to humid ( Read more... )