hello!

[rock_chicka]

hello! im new and i love bam and ville (thanks to my friend _falloutgurl_)

here is my very first fic

please dont eat me and comments are nice:D



Part1

His piercing green eyes scanned the crowd, searching for something. As the guitar started and the first words came out of him mouth, “From lashes to ashes” he was searching for the only one he wanted to find. He was looking for the one person he knew was truly listening and who he could count on to always be there at his shows, the one who made the audience complete.

When those green eyes found who they were looking for, they latched on, as if afraid that if they stopped looking, even for a moment, who they were looking at would disappear, leave his life, and rip out his heart.

But those eyes weren’t going anywhere. The guy on stage meant WAY to much to them to leave him now. Did he know that these eyes wanted him so bad it hurt to think about? That for years they had wanted what was strictly out of bounds? And yet these eyes, staring up from the moshing crowd knew that some where in the last few weeks, something had happened, something had changed, and the two eyes twinkled with excitement as they dreamt up what could happen later tonight!

~

Very slowly Ville opened his eyes, man was he trashed! The gig last night wiped him out. He tried to move his head but it throbbed too much. Even with such small movements he was aware he was lying on top of another body.

‘Just another after gig one-night-stand’ he thought as his green eyes flickered, trying to open against the harsh light of the morning sun. But somewhere in his throbbing head Ville knew that last night had meant something. He curled one hand into the short brown hair that spilled onto the pillow case and reached up to stroke the chin that slept on silently. It was something his fingertips weren’t used to, the short stubble of an unshaved Bam!

“FUCK” Ville jumped up, his head throbbing with the sudden movement. A tired Bam rubbed his eyes and looked up at Ville who was now on his feet.

“Fuck” Ville repeated, running round the room, pulling on his pants. Running a hand through his hair, Ville chanced a glance at Bam, who looked at him with utter confusion. His heart skipped a beat.

“No, no, no” Ville yelled as he worked out what his heart had just done. “Fuck no!”

“What’s with all the fucks?” Bam said with a yawn.

“Fucking hell” Ville was ignoring what Bam said, fearing that if he listened he might fall for what was said.

“Ville, what the fuck is the matter with you?”

Ville stopped and turned to face Bam, then, with a smile on his face

“Why nothing Bammie, nothing at all!”

Nodding as if he understood, Bam fell back on the pillow. Hoping this meant that he had forgotten or else had never remembered what had happened last night, Ville slowed in his attempt to escape.

“You know, you’re much better then any of the chicks I’ve ever slept with” Bam turned to look at Ville who was perched on the edge of the bed. His hand crept towards Ville’s and grabbed onto it once it made contact.

“Do you think this is a joke Bam? Because I’m not laughing. I’m not happy about what happened last night, it was a mistake, and it meant nothing. If anything its fucked me up because now I have no idea what to do, but last night, to me, it never happened” Ville threw off Bam’s hand and got up to leave, but at the door he turned to look at Bam, who looked as thought his heart was lying on the floor, and Ville has just stomped all over it. He couldn’t help it, Bam’s heartbroken expression cut him deep. What he did he knew he would regret later, but he just got swept up in the moment.

~

Bam looked at the door that had just slam shut and cut him off from Ville, his best friend and the one person he had ever truly loved and trusted. His fingers flew to his lips, tracing the outline with the tip of one finger where Ville had just left the mark of his own lips on Bam’s.

Part 2

As Ville drowned his sorrow in yet another beer, he reached for another finger staining ciggie. His hand brushed the phone that had been ringing non stop since he last saw Bam.

“I wish he’d fucking stop ringing me” he complained as he ignored the ringing and grabbed the lighter. He rubbed his ink stained arm as sleep coaxed him into a darkness that no one could penetrate, except of course, the only one Ville was running from.

The soft of his lips brushed over his face, his hands splayed in the small of his back and he starred into his green eyes. ‘I love you, you know that don’t you?’

Bam jerked awake with a quirky feeling like he’d just been connected to Ville in the most powerful way. He looked at the clock that was flashing 10:30 and picked up his phone. Half way through dialing Ville’s number he stopped.

“What’s the point?” he said to himself “he’s never going to pick up! What makes it different this time?” and yet he still dialed. He nearly dropped the phone when Ville picked up.

“Yeah?” Ville asked, sounding fed up and alone.

“You picked up? Umm, HI I just rang you to talk about what happened… to talk about us.”

“There is no us Bam, why can’t you see that. I don’t want there to be an us, what I want is what we had before, when we were just friends.” Silence gripped through the phone line, both hearts at each ends were too busy breaking to notice. “Look, I’m scared Bam, all my life people have seen me in a certain way, and I can’t, I just can’t let them down now”

“Ville, you don’t think that I’m scared? I’m sitting here shitting myself. Everything I’ve ever done in my life, all the stunts in Jackass and Viva la Bam, they are NOTHING, nothing compared to this. This pain, me, sitting here, not knowing if we’ll be ok, or if we’ll even ever talk again, its cutting me up inside, I’d die if I didn’t have you, if I didn’t think that there wasn’t a hope for us, I would jump off the Brooklyn Bridge right now!” After having worked himself up to say all this, Bam didn’t even notice that the line had gone dead. It only dawned on him when his phone went off with a text message from Ville.

‘Don’t Jump, there’s always hope’

Part 3

Telling Ape was the hardest thing Bam would ever have to do. He had no idea how he would do it, or even approach the subject to make it easy to bring it up. Somehow

“Mum, I think I’m gay and I slept with Ville” just didn’t seem like the perfect way to come out with it.

He sat on his bed and stared at his fire-pole,

“Another stupid fucking prank” he shook his head sadly, “Every fucking kid wants a fire-pole and I’m the idiot who gets one!”

The gay idiot who gets one

He shook the thought out of his head “It’s past time to think, its time to sleep.” He slumped back on the bed and closed his eyes.

The two were fighting like an old married couple, except that technically, the pair could never get married, and they weren’t that old. ‘SUBTLETY BAM, all I asked for! What you did was about as subtle as a brick in the small of my back!’ Hands pushed Bam backwards, and he went flying into the wall with a grunt. ‘IM SO SORRY’ and in an instant, the person who had pushed him was back by his side ‘I didn’t know you’d cave so easily, I thought you’d fight back, you know I’d never hurt you purposely’ Bam just let himself be hugged against a chest, that was sobbing violently now. He hung his head low, and reached up a hand to stroke the arm that surrounded his body.  ‘It’s ok’ he mumbled, though both of them knew it would never be the same again!

Ville had no idea how Bam had convinced him to meet at his house. It was just one of those things that he did because he could, he never particularly liked or enjoyed doing these things, but did them because he felt it was a more duty of his.

“What a load of utter crap” he told the voice inside his head, “You’re going over because you want to see what happens with you and Bam, because you want there to be a chance of happiness in your dismal love life” the voice retorted. Silently, Ville knew this was the case and drove on in silence.

~

Ape looked totally cool when Ville pulled into the drive, waved at him from her kitchen, gave him a hug when he came to the door. ‘She doesn’t know’ Ville thought, ‘no way would she be this cool around me if she knew’

“BAM, VILLE’S HERE!!!!” she hollered up the stairs “just go on up, I’m sure you know where you’re going, heaven knows you’ve been here enough times to know you’re way around blindfolded!”

Ville trudged up the stairs, and into Bam’s room “You really gotta tell your mum you know Bam Bam” he mumbled catching sight of Bam who was sitting with his knees to his chin on the bed. Ville slumped down on the corner, his back to Bam.

“Eventually I will, but I’m cool with Ape not knowing for now”

There was tension in that room that neither of them liked, and each felt that they created. Ville shifted uncomfortably “Soo…”

Suddenly the weight on the bed changed, and Bam was up against Ville, his arms going round Ville’s waist, his head leaning on his shoulder. “So…” he repeated.

Bam leant back, and coaxed Ville down on top of him, until they were lying across the bed, Bam with his arms wrapped round Ville. Eventually, Ville turned over, and lay facing Bam who still had his arms round him. Both of them knew it was coming and neither of them did a thing to stop it.

“I love you” they both whispered.

Part 4

‘So it’s official then’ Ville thought as he watched the sleeping Bam who was curled next to him ‘I’m going out with my best friend, and he just happens to be a guy’

Secretly Ville felt relieved at himself that he wasn’t running anymore. With a sigh he lifted the arm that wasn’t curled under Bam above his head. ‘I could really get used to this’ he thought, closing his eyes. He was just drifting off to sleep when he heard the         soft knock at the door, having enough sense to pull up the sheet to cover his otherwise naked body just before Ape entered the room. He opened his eyes to a very shocked looking Ape standing in the doorway, with a plate of bacon and eggs at her feet after having fallen out of her hands.

“MOM” Bam was fully awake now, and made the mistake of jumping out of bed, to show the world his pride and glory. Realizing his mistake, he made a grab at the sheet, pulling it up to cover him, only to reveal the naked Ville beneath it.

“Oh God” Ape murmured, turning away from Ville and Bam who were looking rather embarrassed by this point. She left the room, and closed the door behind her.

“Not the way I wanted her to find out” Bam said with a laugh, though he knew that now it would be far easier to deal with. Pulling on some pants, Bam sat there and watched Ville struggling to get dressed. He felt so alive, knowing that there, standing in front of him, was someone who would essentially be thinking about him all the time. He felt invincible, and he wanted to shout out about his newfound love to the whole world.

Deep within him he knew he could never do that, simply because he had an image and the kind of publicity that being gay with his best friend would attract is not what he needed.

~

The once in a year opportunity had come. The one chance the entertainment faces of the world had to prove to their audiences that they were the ones people should be watching and loving had arrived. The celeb party of the year was on this weekend and Ville and Bam had, of course, been invited.

“Its obvious we can’t go together” Ville said late Wednesday night, “The public aren’t ready for us yet Bam Bam.”

“But why the Fuck not, I mean, we aren’t the only guys who are together round town, why should we be any different?”

“I know you don’t believe that Bam Bam, and besides, It’s not stopping us from being together at all, just not together in the public’s eye.”

“Then who are we going to take?” The question came out of nowhere, and it caused a very stony silence between the two. Lounged on Ville’s couch together, Bam stroked Ville’s leg.

“Good question” Ville swigged at his beer. He had been so relaxed in the last few days; it must have been doing him some good, because now his green eyes sparkled more then ever. Staring strait into them you would swear you could see Ville’s soul. Bam’s fingers were moving further and further up Ville’s leg, but he didn’t care. He loved it. “Good question”

~

The cameras were going off as Bam stepped onto the red carpet, bimbo blonde with a fake chest and a rock for a brain hanging off his arm. His eyes scanned the crowds, searching for someone no-one knew he was looking for.

“Bam Bam” Ville called out across the room, he also had a bimbo hanging off his arm, with Linde and Migè trailing behind. “Bam, haven’t seen you in ages, how’s it going mate?”

“Not to bad, not to bad” Bam greeted Ville with a bear hug the pair were known for.

“Ape, how’s she been?” He asked, putting his arm around his date for the night.

“She’s been better” Bam replied, mimicking Ville’s move and putting his arm round his date also. “She’s re-doing her kitchen again, not a good sign. She only does that when something has really upset her.” Of course, the two had already discussed this earlier in the week whilst lying on Ville’s bed, though to the world outside, and the dates on their arms and the cameras in their faces, it seemed like a genuine conversation.

“We got to catch up some time you know, like, properly.”

“I know what you mean, you and I have been like strangers man” The blonde on Bam’s arm was getting bored with the conversation, and was pulling him towards Johnny Knoxville. The two men looked at each other, seemingly saying goodbye, but really both imagining what they would be doing, in the privacy of their own home, later tonight.