(no subject)
I'm sorry, I'm such a slow updater and I'm afraid the updates will take even longer as I am in the middle of moving house at the moment and I might not have internet access for a long time. Those of you who have friended me, I have moving presents for you on my journal!
This one's dedicated to Heidi, because it's her birthday! *gasp* Yes, I actually remembered someone's birthday! *points at Heidi* quick, everyone, hug her! *pounces*
~Ville~
Well that was it, wasn’t it? We had gone against our promise of being “just friends”, far beyond it, and perhaps beyond the point of return. We had traipsed back to the chalet, Bam with his arm around my waist and my arm around his shoulder, Alice with her arm across my back and up to my shoulder, and I with my arm around her waist. Not a word was spoken, even after we were all inside the chalet. Bam broke off silently and moved to the bedroom. No explanation was needed, he was tired and confused, I could see it in those blue eyes. He needed time to think, we all did. Alice broke away and leant against the kitchen worktop, gazing out of the window with a faraway look in her eyes. I grabbed another packet of cigarettes and stepped back out into the late evening sun.
Where did we go from here? I turned the possibilities over in my mind and exhaled a deep plume of smoke into the warm, darkening air. We had broken our oath. We had done the unthinkable, but when I really thought about it, was it so unbelievable? The tension had been almost unbearable between us during the past few weeks, it was only a matter of time before something happened, I just couldn’t believe that it had. And what about Bam? How did he feel about all this? What was going though his mind right now? Was he confused about his sexuality? Was he worried about the consequences of our actions? Would there be consequences?
Just then, the door opened to my left, and Alice stepped out into what was fast becoming the night. She lit a cigarette carefully, sheltering the flame of the lighter from the wind expertly before clicking her lighter shut and slipping it into her pocket. I preferred her like this, just in jeans and a t-shirt. It was incredible how she could bring class to the most basic of outfits. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, the smoke spiralling from her mouth before drifting apart and vanishing. I watched her smoke for a while, admiring how the cigarette seemed so perfectly balanced on those round, red lips.
“Is he alright?” I asked finally.
She nodded, “he’s sleeping.”
“Good.” I replied, staring out at the sky, where one or two stars were already visible against the deep orange glow.
“He loves you, he really does.”
“I love him. I love both of you.”
“I didn’t know that it was possible to love two people this much. I always imagined that one person couldn’t possibly have the capacity to adore more than one person at a time, yet here we are, I love you both.”
I smiled as she said this, “It’s crazy, isn’t it?”
“Story of my life.”
She flicked a little ash from the cigarette and smiled at me. I could get lost in those eyes so easily… and I did, I wanted to be lost in them forever, and Bam’s… Both of them… how had this happened? How did we get to this? She tilted her head to the side slightly, watching me intently.
“I’ve never met a man who thinks as much as you do.” She said, “What is it that you’re always thinking about?”
I shrugged, “There’s lots to think about, especially now.”
“Hmm.”
There was a pause, during which I finished my cigarette and lit another. I was standing in the most beautiful, romantic setting with a beautiful, intelligent, mysterious woman, and we were both killing ourselves on cancer sticks. Ruins the image a bit, doesn’t it? She turned and I watched her profile framed against the last rays of light from the setting sun. That little bit of smooth skin at the base of her neck seemed to glow in the fading light.
“You’re beautiful.” I blurted, and then cursed myself silently. I meant it, but it just hadn’t sounded right.
She smiled again and said, “As are you, Ville. Goodnight.”
I bade her goodnight and she returned to the chalet, where, no doubt, poor little Bam was tossing and turning in the midst of his confusion, perhaps regretting what had happened or maybe… just maybe… thinking about me.
~Bam~
It had been so weird. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d enjoyed it, and even when I pretended to be asleep as Ville climbed into the bed beside me, leaving Alice on one side and him on the other, I still enjoyed it. I guess we’d always been close, so it wasn’t as if contact was unusual with us, but now everything had changed, hadn’t it? We’d gone those few steps further and everything had gotten a bit… deep.
That night I didn’t sleep much. There was too much going on in my head, but neither Ville nor Alice seemed all that worried about what had happened. Had they known it was coming? I mean, how can you predict something like that? Wasn’t Ville worried at all that he’d done something that probably made him… actually what did it make him? What were we? We were lovers… I hate that word, it feels weird saying it. Lovers… But that’s what we were, all three of us. Man, could this get any more confusing?
So I lay there, and in the middle of the night I felt an arm wrap around me and I was grateful for that, because I needed some comfort. This was scary. Another arm fell on me later into the night, and eventually by dawn, Ville and Alice were both snuggled so tightly into me that I could barely breathe. I didn’t want to, anyway, because I didn’t want them to wake up. I… liked this. I liked us. I liked what we had, whatever it was. I liked all of it, so it couldn’t be a bad thing, right?
Alice was the first to wake. Her hazel eyes flickered open and she gave me a small smile.
“Morning, blue eyes.” She whispered.
“Morning.” I replied, returning the smile.
“Is Ville still sleeping?”
I nodded, and indicated Ville’s sleeping head, rested on my shoulder with his arm curled round on my chest. Alice made a quiet “aww” sound before snuggling in closer to me. I kissed her forehead. We watched him sleep together, and I started to get used to the idea that I liked Ville in that way. There was something incredibly cute about the way he cuddled me, even while he was sleeping. Eventually he woke, too, and gave me a smile so like the one Alice had just given me that I had to laugh a little.
“Whasso funny?” he slurred deeply, still half-asleep.
“Nothing,” I replied, “you just look funny when you sleep.”
“Yeah, well you look funny all the time.” He replied, prodding my chest a little.
I pouted at him and he laughed and kissed my neck suddenly, which sent a shiver down my spine and made me gasp a little.
“Ooh Bammy… that’s a good little spot.” He purred, kissing my neck again and again and watching me shiver each time, “and the lady of the house is awake, I see.”
“Morning.” Alice said with a small yawn.
“You should try this,” Ville said to her, as though describing a good wine, “Bam’s so cute when he shivers.”
Together they began pressing their lips against both sides of my neck, making me shiver and giggle slightly. Ville ran his hand over my bare chest, he was lying on top of my left arm, Alice on top of my right, so that I couldn’t move and the kisses were becoming so light that they were tickly. I squirmed a little and gasped as Ville sucked harder at my neck, smiling as I giggled and moved. Alice followed suit and soon I was asking them to stop.
“Guys, guys… ahhhh Ville, stop it, you know I’m ticklish, not f- …ahhh… not fair! Aliiiice!” I whined.
“Bam’s ticklish.” Ville growled, holding my arm down and kissing me harder, “Come on, Bam, stop being such a girl.”
I practically squealed as, without warning, he ran his tongue up my neck, licking it in one quick movement, and that’s how it all began…
I think Ville later said something like, “We’ve opened the proverbial Pandora’s box, but I quite like the Hell that’s coming loose.” I think that pretty much summed it up. The next few days were just… incredible. Later, we decided to move on (Alice’s travelling addiction was infectious) to Spain for a little while, but Ville hated it, even if we were in northern Spain. He didn’t come out the hotel at all, and yet he still managed somehow to get completely sunburnt within a day, even with three layers of sunblock on. Later he told me “Ville doesn’t do sunlight.” I didn’t mind it much, I eventually managed to persuade Alice to wear a bikini (can you believe she’d never worn one? Every chick I’ve ever known has worn a bikini, but then again, that was the point - Alice isn’t a “chick”, she’s a lady), but she refused to leave the hotel in it, (“I’m too old for these things, I feel like one of those girls in the rap videos, only worse-looking”) and eventually went back to wearing light, floaty skirts and tops that really showed off her amazing figure, without actually exposing much skin.
After that we went to England, where we stayed in a fancy hotel in London. We didn’t really see much of the city, in fact, we spent most of our time there in the hotel room, getting up to just about everything at just about every hour. I’d step into the room after going to buy more booze (we used up the mini-bar the first day we got there) to find Ville and Alice waiting on the other side of the door. They’d pounce on me, pull the bags from my arms and toss me on the bed before having their nasty ways with me, and every day I had to become more and more quiet and secretive about when I came in or went out. Alice and I did the same thing to Ville quite a few times, too, especially when he went out for a smoke. Alice always had the same evil grin on her face as we waited beside the door, waiting for Ville to appear. I loved the look on his face when we’d pounce on him, it was a mixture of surprise and the kind of turn-on that only having your clothes ripped from you by a beautiful woman can really bring.
One day Alice announced that she was going out to have a look around town and probably wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day. Ville had moaned a little bit and pulled her back into bed with us to plant an affectionate kiss on her lips, but she insisted that she hadn’t been to London in years and wanted to see all the old tourist traps again. We’d laughed and let her go, but it soon presented us with a new problem.
~Ville~
For the first time since we’d started travelling together, Bam and I were left together without Alice. We were alone together. Bam seemed to pick up on this before I did, because he started fidgeting and went quiet for a while. I went to have a shower, and returned to find him sitting on the bed in the exact same position I had left him in, still fidgeting with the corner of the bed and gazing up at me with wide eyes.
In all the time that we had been together, it had always been one of us making love to Alice, there had never been any real sex between Bam and I, no more than say, what had went on that first time back in France. Now I could see that he was apprehensive. I didn’t blame him, we’d never done anything in twos, always as a threesome, but we’d never been apart this long and… I don’t know why, but I felt that something was expected of us, like something was supposed to happen between us, I just wasn’t sure what.
“Are you okay?” I asked, towelling my hair and sitting beside him on the bed.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” Bam replied distractedly.
I put my hand over his fidgeting ones and asked, “Are you sure? You look… nervous.”
“What, nervous? No, I’m fine, honest!” he replied automatically.
I shifted round to behind him on the bed, placed a hand on each of his shoulders and began to massage them gently, working out the tension that was definitely there. He seemed to relax slightly, even closing his eyes and tilting his head back slightly.
“Relax…” I whispered, “I won’t bite, I promise.”
“Ah God, Ville…” he moaned, “Where did you learn to do that?”
Smiling, I leant forward to place a kiss on his cheek as I kept massaging those shoulders. The little noises he made delighted me as I kissed him again. He turned and our lips met, brushing each other, then pressing a little more deeply as he leant against me. I massaged a little harder and he moaned, God I love the noises Bam makes.
“Ville that’s… so good…”
“Well, dear Bam, the other day Alice happened to be kind enough to go buy some of those nice oils that make massages so much more interesting.” I purred in his ear.
His eyes opened to look up at me pleadingly.
“If you’re very, very good, I’ll go find them.”
He nodded obediently and I smiled.
“Well, be a good boy, get your shirt off and close your eyes, then.” I said, patting him on the back and moving away, “I’ll be right back. No peeking! Don’t ruin it!”
I had to fight the urge to laugh as Bam scrambled to obey my command.
Hmm, being in charge is fun. I should do this more often…
With the thick curtains closed, you would think it was night in the hotel room. I dimmed the lights and as well as retrieving the bottles of lotions and potions from the cupboard in the en-suite, I also retrieved a few scented candles Alice had picked up along the way. That woman was an angel. She’d mentioned to me the night before once Bam had fallen asleep and we were both out on the balcony, having a smoke, that she’d bought these things.
“I think Bam’s still a bit confused.” She’d said, “They’re in the cupboard if you need them.”
“You’re an angel.” I said, placing a kiss on her forehead, “Why didn’t we meet you sooner?”
“I just know how to read men,” she said with a smile, “and I think I know what Bam needs right now, you do too.”
I smiled.
“Let’s just say I don’t have the ability to give him that.” She said, “Enjoy yourselves tomorrow.”
Oh, we would enjoy ourselves.
Watching Bam vigilantly to make sure his eyes didn’t open (they nearly did once or twice and I had to tell him off, but after the threat of “no treats” I think he got the message), I placed the candles around the bed and lit them, before removing my own shirt and clambering up onto the bed with Bam. He was sitting up, and I climbed up behind him.
“Open your eyes.” I whispered, and he obeyed.
The room was now lit only by candlelight, and Bam’s eyes widened as I wrapped my arms around him from behind and kissed the base of his neck.
“Ville, it’s-”
“Shh, no talking.” I commanded, and he went silent instantly, “Good boy.”
Leaning over, I covered my hands in some of the lotion that Alice had bought specially and began to massage Bam’s shoulders again. He closed his eyes again and tilted his head back, allowing me room to kiss his forehead and move closer, his bare back pressed against my bare chest. I massaged his shoulders for a little longer, before getting to work on his back, running my hands up and down it and pushing him forward gently but firmly, before pulling him back up a little to wrap my arms around him to massage his chest, letting my oiled hands run over the muscles in his stomach, his chest, pressing firmly at his skin and teasing at his neck with my teeth as I pressed my own body against his back.
“I-” he began, but I “shh”d him into silence.
“Don’t talk,” I said, “just let me work, Bam.”
Instead, he turned his head to kiss me and then moaned against my mouth as I pulled him against me so tightly it almost hurt. His oiled body slid against my own as my newly-formed erection began to rub and jab against him. My hands slid down, further down, to his abdomen, and then to his belt, which I undid, and then onto his thighs. He began to breathe heavily and I knew what he wanted me to do, but I wanted him to beg me to.
“Have you been good, dear Bam?” I growled.
He nodded and I sucked at his neck for a moment.
“Please…” he moaned.
“What’s the matter? What do you want me to do?” I asked, running my oily hands back and forth across his stomach.
“Ville, please!” he moaned again, more urgent this time.
“What is it, Bam?”
“Ville, I want you to… ahhh…” he groaned as I sucked at his neck again, “Ville, I want you to fuck me…”
“How much do you want it, Bam?” I asked evilly, running my hands faster up and down his chest.
“A lot… more than anything, please Ville!”
I slipped my hands inside his pants to rub him briefly and he gasped, but then I pulled my hands out again. It wasn’t going to be that easy. Slowly, teasingly I undid the button of his jeans and unzipped them, before tugging them slowly down. Bam put his hands on mine in an attempt to make me move faster, but a bite on the neck and a warning “ah!” in his ear made him pull his hands away. Almost painfully slowly, I removed his boxers before repositioning myself and roughly pushing him backwards, so that he now lay on his back with a slightly confused look, before I slid on top of him and began to undo my own trousers. I let him help me with these, if only because I liked the feeling of his hands working frantically at the zip.
I kicked them off and tugged his own jeans fully off with a triumphant laugh. He was all mine now, but I teased him a little more, grinding my hips against his and running my hands up and down his smooth chest a little more, before placing both hands on his shoulders and grinning evilly at him.
“Ville, come on!” Bam whined.
“Ah!” I warned, “What did I say about the talking?”
“I don’t care! Just do it! Please!”
“It’ll hurt.”
“I… I don’t care! Ville, I’m gonna come in a minute if you don’t do this!”
“Good.”
I kicked his legs apart and pushed into him without warning, relishing in the hot, tight feeling of having Bam around me. I thrust hard, harder than I really should have for Bam’s first time with a man, but I was enjoying this power far too much and his whimpers had to be the biggest turn-on known to man. I loved watching his smooth, oily body squirm beneath me, I loved every little thing about him, everything.
~Alice~
I hadn’t really gotten all that far into London. It’s a beautiful city in some parts, but I knew that I’d rather be back at the hotel with my two gorgeous, wonderful men. I smiled at myself as I thought of that adorable little face Ville pulled sometimes, without thinking about it, whenever Bam spoke too fast and Ville had difficulty deciphering his American accent. It was the same face he pulled whenever something confused him, or took him by mild surprise. I called it the “oh” face, because you always expected him to say “oh, what’s this?”, but he never did. The face said it all.
That was just one of the millions of traits I’d fallen in love with in those two men, but something had been nagging at me lately. I had been thinking of it from the very beginning, when we’d first started our adventure together, but up until very recently, I’d pushed it to the back of my mind. Now that I was alone for a little while, in a nice little café in London with only a cup of coffee and a cigarette for company, I had plenty of time to think about it.
Ville…
God knows, I loved him, almost to the point of obsession, it was the same with Bam, but while in Bam I could see a similar sprit to my own (the main reason I had chosen him in the first place), Ville was trapped. As I’d said to Bam, most men wanted me to be their caged bird, but Bam was one of those few men who flew with me. Ville, however, wasn’t. Ville was the kind who, at one point, would have flown quite freely, but now he was caged. The cage had been half his own making, half the making of others, namely record labels and large companies, but however the cage had come to exist, Ville would always be trapped in it. He was free for now, but this was all just a holiday for him. For me, it was a way of life.
How much longer could we go on like this, pretending that it would just be the three of us, forever? How much longer before Ville was caught again, and put back in his cage? He hated the cage, I knew it, but he couldn’t survive without it. In some ways, ways in which I couldn’t understand, he seemed to enjoy the cage, too. He was creative there, I supposed, but something else made him stay there. I wasn’t sure what. Bam had a cage of his own, too, but he was less attached to it, I could see that. The work he did followed his life. Yes, he had to keep the ratings up, but Bam did that naturally. People wanted to see him. Ville had to work, day in and day out. It was a lonely job, and I found myself wondering how anyone could deal with the pressures.
Oh, my beautiful ones, I wish we could have this forever. I wish I could show the entire world to you, but I fear our time together is limited. We’ve all learnt so much together. I wish there was a way we could keep this…
There is, I reminded myself, but you swore you’d never let yourself be caged again, didn’t you? What is it that keeps Ville in his cage?
Responsibility. He loves what he does, and yet, in other ways, he hates it. I’ll never understand it, but then again, I’ve always seen the world in terms of black and white, good and bad, love and hate. Perhaps Ville has found a happy medium.
I paid for my drinks and left, a world of new possibilities of thought swirling in my head.
I returned to the hotel and made my way back to our suite - the honeymoon suite, because that’s what it felt like to us. We had begun our big adventure, just as married couples often see marriages as the next adventure of life. As I reached the door, a noise from within caused me to pause and smile.
Ville, you sly thing. You really did it!
Pushing to door open as quietly as possible, I slipped in. There was a small sort of hallway area which led to the bathroom, and then around the corner was the bed, so that I was able to remain hidden. I wondered what to do. Should I leave, shouldn’t I? Well, what would you have done in my position? Curiosity overcame me and I peeked around the corner, suppressing a giggle at the sight before me.
Ville and Bam were really going at it, and when I say that, I mean really going at it. Poor Bam was barely getting a chance to breathe, Ville was pounding into him so hard, but I got the feeling that Bam liked it this way, because despite the occasional whimper every now and then, there were plenty of gasps and “I love you”s and “more”s. Ville would slow down for a moment and Bam would moan for him to go faster, harder, he wanted more.
I leaned against the wall again and caught sight of my reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. I was grinning. You could hear the noises halfway down the corridor, Bam was practically screaming Ville’s name. I’d never known love-making like it, and yet I knew it was so typically male that I had to laugh, if quietly. Ville was normally so gentle, but I knew that he’d been waiting for this for a long time, he’d told me so many times. I’d always laughed when Ville had watched Bam, describing the things he’d love to do if Bam would just let him.
“If he wasn’t so insecure… God, he wouldn’t sit down for a month.” He’d said, “Those legs are just… Heaven.”
“You will be gentle, won’t you?” I’d said concernedly, “He’s only a boy, really.”
“Have you seen the things he does?” Ville asked me, “He’ll be fine. He’s tough.”
“Are you implying I’m not tough?” I said, with a raised eyebrow and a look of mock indignation.
He laughed and kissed me quickly, “No, you’re a lady, a delicate thing.”
That had earned him a punch on the arm and a kiss on the cheek, “Always the charmer, Ville.”
“I try.”
Bam came slightly before Ville with a noise that I couldn’t really describe to you, other than it was a noise of utter satisfaction and pleasure mixed in one, with a touch of relief and it was so loud I was sure people would be complaining about the noise downstairs. Ville came similarly, and looked deep into Bam’s eyes with a smile, his hair hanging around his face and a look of utter adoration in his eyes.
“My little Bam.” He said, still breathing heavily, and he collapsed beside Bam to wrap him in his arms and kiss him again and again and again. It was a beautiful moment, and I wondered when I should make entrance.
Not yet, let them cuddle for a bit.
So I waited, and Ville went on kissing Bam, and stroking his hair affectionately, all with the greatest amount of love it is possible to give to a person. He was such a caring man, and at that moment all of that care and devotion was focused on Bam, who I had come to realise was the centre of Ville’s world. This realisation didn’t make me jealous in any way, no, I knew that what Bam and Ville had was different to what say, what Bam and I had. It was all different, love between the same sexes is always slightly different, but just as valid, and just as beautiful, if not more so.
I must have stayed in that spot for a good fifteen minutes when finally I stood straight and entered the room, waiting until one of them spotted me. It was Bam who spotted me first, his fingers curled in Ville’s hair as he snuggled into Ville’s chest.
“Hey.” He said quietly.
“Hey.” I replied.
Ville turned to look up at me and smiled, “Hello.”
I felt like an intruder, suddenly. I mean, of course I had been intruding a little by watching them, but can you blame me? Now that we were all together in the one room, it felt… strange. Ville, however, soon sorted this out.
“Come here,” he said quietly, beckoning me towards the bed.
I felt honoured, in a way. This had been a bit of a private moment for Ville and Bam, but I was being welcomed in. I slipped my skirt and top off quickly and climbed in with them, feeling Ville’s warm arm wrap itself around me and watching Bam kissing Ville’s neck slowly. Ville closed his eyes and let Bam continue. I kissed Ville’s cheek.
You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and I hate that you’re trapped. I want to help you, but I still don’t fully understand you. Maybe you’re not as trapped as I thought you were. I can’t tell if you’re happy, but you seem happy now, and I’m happy, as long as I’m here.
This one's dedicated to Heidi, because it's her birthday! *gasp* Yes, I actually remembered someone's birthday! *points at Heidi* quick, everyone, hug her! *pounces*
~Ville~
Well that was it, wasn’t it? We had gone against our promise of being “just friends”, far beyond it, and perhaps beyond the point of return. We had traipsed back to the chalet, Bam with his arm around my waist and my arm around his shoulder, Alice with her arm across my back and up to my shoulder, and I with my arm around her waist. Not a word was spoken, even after we were all inside the chalet. Bam broke off silently and moved to the bedroom. No explanation was needed, he was tired and confused, I could see it in those blue eyes. He needed time to think, we all did. Alice broke away and leant against the kitchen worktop, gazing out of the window with a faraway look in her eyes. I grabbed another packet of cigarettes and stepped back out into the late evening sun.
Where did we go from here? I turned the possibilities over in my mind and exhaled a deep plume of smoke into the warm, darkening air. We had broken our oath. We had done the unthinkable, but when I really thought about it, was it so unbelievable? The tension had been almost unbearable between us during the past few weeks, it was only a matter of time before something happened, I just couldn’t believe that it had. And what about Bam? How did he feel about all this? What was going though his mind right now? Was he confused about his sexuality? Was he worried about the consequences of our actions? Would there be consequences?
Just then, the door opened to my left, and Alice stepped out into what was fast becoming the night. She lit a cigarette carefully, sheltering the flame of the lighter from the wind expertly before clicking her lighter shut and slipping it into her pocket. I preferred her like this, just in jeans and a t-shirt. It was incredible how she could bring class to the most basic of outfits. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, the smoke spiralling from her mouth before drifting apart and vanishing. I watched her smoke for a while, admiring how the cigarette seemed so perfectly balanced on those round, red lips.
“Is he alright?” I asked finally.
She nodded, “he’s sleeping.”
“Good.” I replied, staring out at the sky, where one or two stars were already visible against the deep orange glow.
“He loves you, he really does.”
“I love him. I love both of you.”
“I didn’t know that it was possible to love two people this much. I always imagined that one person couldn’t possibly have the capacity to adore more than one person at a time, yet here we are, I love you both.”
I smiled as she said this, “It’s crazy, isn’t it?”
“Story of my life.”
She flicked a little ash from the cigarette and smiled at me. I could get lost in those eyes so easily… and I did, I wanted to be lost in them forever, and Bam’s… Both of them… how had this happened? How did we get to this? She tilted her head to the side slightly, watching me intently.
“I’ve never met a man who thinks as much as you do.” She said, “What is it that you’re always thinking about?”
I shrugged, “There’s lots to think about, especially now.”
“Hmm.”
There was a pause, during which I finished my cigarette and lit another. I was standing in the most beautiful, romantic setting with a beautiful, intelligent, mysterious woman, and we were both killing ourselves on cancer sticks. Ruins the image a bit, doesn’t it? She turned and I watched her profile framed against the last rays of light from the setting sun. That little bit of smooth skin at the base of her neck seemed to glow in the fading light.
“You’re beautiful.” I blurted, and then cursed myself silently. I meant it, but it just hadn’t sounded right.
She smiled again and said, “As are you, Ville. Goodnight.”
I bade her goodnight and she returned to the chalet, where, no doubt, poor little Bam was tossing and turning in the midst of his confusion, perhaps regretting what had happened or maybe… just maybe… thinking about me.
~Bam~
It had been so weird. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d enjoyed it, and even when I pretended to be asleep as Ville climbed into the bed beside me, leaving Alice on one side and him on the other, I still enjoyed it. I guess we’d always been close, so it wasn’t as if contact was unusual with us, but now everything had changed, hadn’t it? We’d gone those few steps further and everything had gotten a bit… deep.
That night I didn’t sleep much. There was too much going on in my head, but neither Ville nor Alice seemed all that worried about what had happened. Had they known it was coming? I mean, how can you predict something like that? Wasn’t Ville worried at all that he’d done something that probably made him… actually what did it make him? What were we? We were lovers… I hate that word, it feels weird saying it. Lovers… But that’s what we were, all three of us. Man, could this get any more confusing?
So I lay there, and in the middle of the night I felt an arm wrap around me and I was grateful for that, because I needed some comfort. This was scary. Another arm fell on me later into the night, and eventually by dawn, Ville and Alice were both snuggled so tightly into me that I could barely breathe. I didn’t want to, anyway, because I didn’t want them to wake up. I… liked this. I liked us. I liked what we had, whatever it was. I liked all of it, so it couldn’t be a bad thing, right?
Alice was the first to wake. Her hazel eyes flickered open and she gave me a small smile.
“Morning, blue eyes.” She whispered.
“Morning.” I replied, returning the smile.
“Is Ville still sleeping?”
I nodded, and indicated Ville’s sleeping head, rested on my shoulder with his arm curled round on my chest. Alice made a quiet “aww” sound before snuggling in closer to me. I kissed her forehead. We watched him sleep together, and I started to get used to the idea that I liked Ville in that way. There was something incredibly cute about the way he cuddled me, even while he was sleeping. Eventually he woke, too, and gave me a smile so like the one Alice had just given me that I had to laugh a little.
“Whasso funny?” he slurred deeply, still half-asleep.
“Nothing,” I replied, “you just look funny when you sleep.”
“Yeah, well you look funny all the time.” He replied, prodding my chest a little.
I pouted at him and he laughed and kissed my neck suddenly, which sent a shiver down my spine and made me gasp a little.
“Ooh Bammy… that’s a good little spot.” He purred, kissing my neck again and again and watching me shiver each time, “and the lady of the house is awake, I see.”
“Morning.” Alice said with a small yawn.
“You should try this,” Ville said to her, as though describing a good wine, “Bam’s so cute when he shivers.”
Together they began pressing their lips against both sides of my neck, making me shiver and giggle slightly. Ville ran his hand over my bare chest, he was lying on top of my left arm, Alice on top of my right, so that I couldn’t move and the kisses were becoming so light that they were tickly. I squirmed a little and gasped as Ville sucked harder at my neck, smiling as I giggled and moved. Alice followed suit and soon I was asking them to stop.
“Guys, guys… ahhhh Ville, stop it, you know I’m ticklish, not f- …ahhh… not fair! Aliiiice!” I whined.
“Bam’s ticklish.” Ville growled, holding my arm down and kissing me harder, “Come on, Bam, stop being such a girl.”
I practically squealed as, without warning, he ran his tongue up my neck, licking it in one quick movement, and that’s how it all began…
I think Ville later said something like, “We’ve opened the proverbial Pandora’s box, but I quite like the Hell that’s coming loose.” I think that pretty much summed it up. The next few days were just… incredible. Later, we decided to move on (Alice’s travelling addiction was infectious) to Spain for a little while, but Ville hated it, even if we were in northern Spain. He didn’t come out the hotel at all, and yet he still managed somehow to get completely sunburnt within a day, even with three layers of sunblock on. Later he told me “Ville doesn’t do sunlight.” I didn’t mind it much, I eventually managed to persuade Alice to wear a bikini (can you believe she’d never worn one? Every chick I’ve ever known has worn a bikini, but then again, that was the point - Alice isn’t a “chick”, she’s a lady), but she refused to leave the hotel in it, (“I’m too old for these things, I feel like one of those girls in the rap videos, only worse-looking”) and eventually went back to wearing light, floaty skirts and tops that really showed off her amazing figure, without actually exposing much skin.
After that we went to England, where we stayed in a fancy hotel in London. We didn’t really see much of the city, in fact, we spent most of our time there in the hotel room, getting up to just about everything at just about every hour. I’d step into the room after going to buy more booze (we used up the mini-bar the first day we got there) to find Ville and Alice waiting on the other side of the door. They’d pounce on me, pull the bags from my arms and toss me on the bed before having their nasty ways with me, and every day I had to become more and more quiet and secretive about when I came in or went out. Alice and I did the same thing to Ville quite a few times, too, especially when he went out for a smoke. Alice always had the same evil grin on her face as we waited beside the door, waiting for Ville to appear. I loved the look on his face when we’d pounce on him, it was a mixture of surprise and the kind of turn-on that only having your clothes ripped from you by a beautiful woman can really bring.
One day Alice announced that she was going out to have a look around town and probably wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day. Ville had moaned a little bit and pulled her back into bed with us to plant an affectionate kiss on her lips, but she insisted that she hadn’t been to London in years and wanted to see all the old tourist traps again. We’d laughed and let her go, but it soon presented us with a new problem.
~Ville~
For the first time since we’d started travelling together, Bam and I were left together without Alice. We were alone together. Bam seemed to pick up on this before I did, because he started fidgeting and went quiet for a while. I went to have a shower, and returned to find him sitting on the bed in the exact same position I had left him in, still fidgeting with the corner of the bed and gazing up at me with wide eyes.
In all the time that we had been together, it had always been one of us making love to Alice, there had never been any real sex between Bam and I, no more than say, what had went on that first time back in France. Now I could see that he was apprehensive. I didn’t blame him, we’d never done anything in twos, always as a threesome, but we’d never been apart this long and… I don’t know why, but I felt that something was expected of us, like something was supposed to happen between us, I just wasn’t sure what.
“Are you okay?” I asked, towelling my hair and sitting beside him on the bed.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” Bam replied distractedly.
I put my hand over his fidgeting ones and asked, “Are you sure? You look… nervous.”
“What, nervous? No, I’m fine, honest!” he replied automatically.
I shifted round to behind him on the bed, placed a hand on each of his shoulders and began to massage them gently, working out the tension that was definitely there. He seemed to relax slightly, even closing his eyes and tilting his head back slightly.
“Relax…” I whispered, “I won’t bite, I promise.”
“Ah God, Ville…” he moaned, “Where did you learn to do that?”
Smiling, I leant forward to place a kiss on his cheek as I kept massaging those shoulders. The little noises he made delighted me as I kissed him again. He turned and our lips met, brushing each other, then pressing a little more deeply as he leant against me. I massaged a little harder and he moaned, God I love the noises Bam makes.
“Ville that’s… so good…”
“Well, dear Bam, the other day Alice happened to be kind enough to go buy some of those nice oils that make massages so much more interesting.” I purred in his ear.
His eyes opened to look up at me pleadingly.
“If you’re very, very good, I’ll go find them.”
He nodded obediently and I smiled.
“Well, be a good boy, get your shirt off and close your eyes, then.” I said, patting him on the back and moving away, “I’ll be right back. No peeking! Don’t ruin it!”
I had to fight the urge to laugh as Bam scrambled to obey my command.
Hmm, being in charge is fun. I should do this more often…
With the thick curtains closed, you would think it was night in the hotel room. I dimmed the lights and as well as retrieving the bottles of lotions and potions from the cupboard in the en-suite, I also retrieved a few scented candles Alice had picked up along the way. That woman was an angel. She’d mentioned to me the night before once Bam had fallen asleep and we were both out on the balcony, having a smoke, that she’d bought these things.
“I think Bam’s still a bit confused.” She’d said, “They’re in the cupboard if you need them.”
“You’re an angel.” I said, placing a kiss on her forehead, “Why didn’t we meet you sooner?”
“I just know how to read men,” she said with a smile, “and I think I know what Bam needs right now, you do too.”
I smiled.
“Let’s just say I don’t have the ability to give him that.” She said, “Enjoy yourselves tomorrow.”
Oh, we would enjoy ourselves.
Watching Bam vigilantly to make sure his eyes didn’t open (they nearly did once or twice and I had to tell him off, but after the threat of “no treats” I think he got the message), I placed the candles around the bed and lit them, before removing my own shirt and clambering up onto the bed with Bam. He was sitting up, and I climbed up behind him.
“Open your eyes.” I whispered, and he obeyed.
The room was now lit only by candlelight, and Bam’s eyes widened as I wrapped my arms around him from behind and kissed the base of his neck.
“Ville, it’s-”
“Shh, no talking.” I commanded, and he went silent instantly, “Good boy.”
Leaning over, I covered my hands in some of the lotion that Alice had bought specially and began to massage Bam’s shoulders again. He closed his eyes again and tilted his head back, allowing me room to kiss his forehead and move closer, his bare back pressed against my bare chest. I massaged his shoulders for a little longer, before getting to work on his back, running my hands up and down it and pushing him forward gently but firmly, before pulling him back up a little to wrap my arms around him to massage his chest, letting my oiled hands run over the muscles in his stomach, his chest, pressing firmly at his skin and teasing at his neck with my teeth as I pressed my own body against his back.
“I-” he began, but I “shh”d him into silence.
“Don’t talk,” I said, “just let me work, Bam.”
Instead, he turned his head to kiss me and then moaned against my mouth as I pulled him against me so tightly it almost hurt. His oiled body slid against my own as my newly-formed erection began to rub and jab against him. My hands slid down, further down, to his abdomen, and then to his belt, which I undid, and then onto his thighs. He began to breathe heavily and I knew what he wanted me to do, but I wanted him to beg me to.
“Have you been good, dear Bam?” I growled.
He nodded and I sucked at his neck for a moment.
“Please…” he moaned.
“What’s the matter? What do you want me to do?” I asked, running my oily hands back and forth across his stomach.
“Ville, please!” he moaned again, more urgent this time.
“What is it, Bam?”
“Ville, I want you to… ahhh…” he groaned as I sucked at his neck again, “Ville, I want you to fuck me…”
“How much do you want it, Bam?” I asked evilly, running my hands faster up and down his chest.
“A lot… more than anything, please Ville!”
I slipped my hands inside his pants to rub him briefly and he gasped, but then I pulled my hands out again. It wasn’t going to be that easy. Slowly, teasingly I undid the button of his jeans and unzipped them, before tugging them slowly down. Bam put his hands on mine in an attempt to make me move faster, but a bite on the neck and a warning “ah!” in his ear made him pull his hands away. Almost painfully slowly, I removed his boxers before repositioning myself and roughly pushing him backwards, so that he now lay on his back with a slightly confused look, before I slid on top of him and began to undo my own trousers. I let him help me with these, if only because I liked the feeling of his hands working frantically at the zip.
I kicked them off and tugged his own jeans fully off with a triumphant laugh. He was all mine now, but I teased him a little more, grinding my hips against his and running my hands up and down his smooth chest a little more, before placing both hands on his shoulders and grinning evilly at him.
“Ville, come on!” Bam whined.
“Ah!” I warned, “What did I say about the talking?”
“I don’t care! Just do it! Please!”
“It’ll hurt.”
“I… I don’t care! Ville, I’m gonna come in a minute if you don’t do this!”
“Good.”
I kicked his legs apart and pushed into him without warning, relishing in the hot, tight feeling of having Bam around me. I thrust hard, harder than I really should have for Bam’s first time with a man, but I was enjoying this power far too much and his whimpers had to be the biggest turn-on known to man. I loved watching his smooth, oily body squirm beneath me, I loved every little thing about him, everything.
~Alice~
I hadn’t really gotten all that far into London. It’s a beautiful city in some parts, but I knew that I’d rather be back at the hotel with my two gorgeous, wonderful men. I smiled at myself as I thought of that adorable little face Ville pulled sometimes, without thinking about it, whenever Bam spoke too fast and Ville had difficulty deciphering his American accent. It was the same face he pulled whenever something confused him, or took him by mild surprise. I called it the “oh” face, because you always expected him to say “oh, what’s this?”, but he never did. The face said it all.
That was just one of the millions of traits I’d fallen in love with in those two men, but something had been nagging at me lately. I had been thinking of it from the very beginning, when we’d first started our adventure together, but up until very recently, I’d pushed it to the back of my mind. Now that I was alone for a little while, in a nice little café in London with only a cup of coffee and a cigarette for company, I had plenty of time to think about it.
Ville…
God knows, I loved him, almost to the point of obsession, it was the same with Bam, but while in Bam I could see a similar sprit to my own (the main reason I had chosen him in the first place), Ville was trapped. As I’d said to Bam, most men wanted me to be their caged bird, but Bam was one of those few men who flew with me. Ville, however, wasn’t. Ville was the kind who, at one point, would have flown quite freely, but now he was caged. The cage had been half his own making, half the making of others, namely record labels and large companies, but however the cage had come to exist, Ville would always be trapped in it. He was free for now, but this was all just a holiday for him. For me, it was a way of life.
How much longer could we go on like this, pretending that it would just be the three of us, forever? How much longer before Ville was caught again, and put back in his cage? He hated the cage, I knew it, but he couldn’t survive without it. In some ways, ways in which I couldn’t understand, he seemed to enjoy the cage, too. He was creative there, I supposed, but something else made him stay there. I wasn’t sure what. Bam had a cage of his own, too, but he was less attached to it, I could see that. The work he did followed his life. Yes, he had to keep the ratings up, but Bam did that naturally. People wanted to see him. Ville had to work, day in and day out. It was a lonely job, and I found myself wondering how anyone could deal with the pressures.
Oh, my beautiful ones, I wish we could have this forever. I wish I could show the entire world to you, but I fear our time together is limited. We’ve all learnt so much together. I wish there was a way we could keep this…
There is, I reminded myself, but you swore you’d never let yourself be caged again, didn’t you? What is it that keeps Ville in his cage?
Responsibility. He loves what he does, and yet, in other ways, he hates it. I’ll never understand it, but then again, I’ve always seen the world in terms of black and white, good and bad, love and hate. Perhaps Ville has found a happy medium.
I paid for my drinks and left, a world of new possibilities of thought swirling in my head.
I returned to the hotel and made my way back to our suite - the honeymoon suite, because that’s what it felt like to us. We had begun our big adventure, just as married couples often see marriages as the next adventure of life. As I reached the door, a noise from within caused me to pause and smile.
Ville, you sly thing. You really did it!
Pushing to door open as quietly as possible, I slipped in. There was a small sort of hallway area which led to the bathroom, and then around the corner was the bed, so that I was able to remain hidden. I wondered what to do. Should I leave, shouldn’t I? Well, what would you have done in my position? Curiosity overcame me and I peeked around the corner, suppressing a giggle at the sight before me.
Ville and Bam were really going at it, and when I say that, I mean really going at it. Poor Bam was barely getting a chance to breathe, Ville was pounding into him so hard, but I got the feeling that Bam liked it this way, because despite the occasional whimper every now and then, there were plenty of gasps and “I love you”s and “more”s. Ville would slow down for a moment and Bam would moan for him to go faster, harder, he wanted more.
I leaned against the wall again and caught sight of my reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. I was grinning. You could hear the noises halfway down the corridor, Bam was practically screaming Ville’s name. I’d never known love-making like it, and yet I knew it was so typically male that I had to laugh, if quietly. Ville was normally so gentle, but I knew that he’d been waiting for this for a long time, he’d told me so many times. I’d always laughed when Ville had watched Bam, describing the things he’d love to do if Bam would just let him.
“If he wasn’t so insecure… God, he wouldn’t sit down for a month.” He’d said, “Those legs are just… Heaven.”
“You will be gentle, won’t you?” I’d said concernedly, “He’s only a boy, really.”
“Have you seen the things he does?” Ville asked me, “He’ll be fine. He’s tough.”
“Are you implying I’m not tough?” I said, with a raised eyebrow and a look of mock indignation.
He laughed and kissed me quickly, “No, you’re a lady, a delicate thing.”
That had earned him a punch on the arm and a kiss on the cheek, “Always the charmer, Ville.”
“I try.”
Bam came slightly before Ville with a noise that I couldn’t really describe to you, other than it was a noise of utter satisfaction and pleasure mixed in one, with a touch of relief and it was so loud I was sure people would be complaining about the noise downstairs. Ville came similarly, and looked deep into Bam’s eyes with a smile, his hair hanging around his face and a look of utter adoration in his eyes.
“My little Bam.” He said, still breathing heavily, and he collapsed beside Bam to wrap him in his arms and kiss him again and again and again. It was a beautiful moment, and I wondered when I should make entrance.
Not yet, let them cuddle for a bit.
So I waited, and Ville went on kissing Bam, and stroking his hair affectionately, all with the greatest amount of love it is possible to give to a person. He was such a caring man, and at that moment all of that care and devotion was focused on Bam, who I had come to realise was the centre of Ville’s world. This realisation didn’t make me jealous in any way, no, I knew that what Bam and Ville had was different to what say, what Bam and I had. It was all different, love between the same sexes is always slightly different, but just as valid, and just as beautiful, if not more so.
I must have stayed in that spot for a good fifteen minutes when finally I stood straight and entered the room, waiting until one of them spotted me. It was Bam who spotted me first, his fingers curled in Ville’s hair as he snuggled into Ville’s chest.
“Hey.” He said quietly.
“Hey.” I replied.
Ville turned to look up at me and smiled, “Hello.”
I felt like an intruder, suddenly. I mean, of course I had been intruding a little by watching them, but can you blame me? Now that we were all together in the one room, it felt… strange. Ville, however, soon sorted this out.
“Come here,” he said quietly, beckoning me towards the bed.
I felt honoured, in a way. This had been a bit of a private moment for Ville and Bam, but I was being welcomed in. I slipped my skirt and top off quickly and climbed in with them, feeling Ville’s warm arm wrap itself around me and watching Bam kissing Ville’s neck slowly. Ville closed his eyes and let Bam continue. I kissed Ville’s cheek.
You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and I hate that you’re trapped. I want to help you, but I still don’t fully understand you. Maybe you’re not as trapped as I thought you were. I can’t tell if you’re happy, but you seem happy now, and I’m happy, as long as I’m here.