(no subject)
So. I've written two fics in the past 24 hours. because I'm been that bored.
So I thought I'd post them here, even though i really don't like either of them, maybe someone else will find something they like.
SOULMATES NEVER DIE
So. Love. What is there to say about it? Honestly, I can’t be sure. I mean. Here I am, 25 and thinking I’ve found the love of my life, the one. You know what I’m talking about, that one person that you feel perfect with.
But maybe I should explain to you what love is to me. That it’s not everything you see.
Love to me is home. It’s when you meet someone for the first time and you feel like you’ve finally come home. You have found your best friend in the entire world and you just feel at home. You don’t even realize it’s love until so much later and it hits you so hard, knocks the wind from your lungs.
And that’s how it was for me. I didn’t even realize how strong my feelings for Ville were so strong until so much later. You all probably already know how we met and everything. But you don’t know when I realized I was in love with him. When I realized, I’d made it home.
I can’t ever remember the exact setting for which these happened in. What I do know is that I felt so amazing when it happened. Anyway, I’ll stop blabbering and get on with the story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been raining there in West Chester for a week, on and off. I hadn’t seen the sun the entire time and was completely pissed at such a bad onslaught on bad weather. It had even started effecting my mood, I became reclusive, snappy at Ape and Phil, wanting to just be left in my room, but it was when I was in my room my mood brightened.
I had been sitting near my window, my forehead pressed against the glass, sighing quietly watching the rain fall when I saw it, something yellow flash through the tree’s and only moments later a yellow taxi pulled up in front of my house.
I starred down at the cab with mild enthusiasm wondering who the hell could be coming to my house in this weather, especially in a taxi. And then he stepped out.
Ville motherfucking Valo. His hair looked sleep tousled, his cloths slightly wrinkled, he must have just flown in. But… what was he doing here. I didn’t expect him for another week.
He grabbed his bag out of the car, handing the driver his money before walking out towards the front door, stopping to drop his cigarette to the ground and stub it out with his toe, his eyes wandered up the house and stopping on my window, a devious grin spreading across his face when he catches me watching him.
I let out a squeak and bonded from my room, running down the stairs and to the front door, throwing it open and pouncing out onto Ville, nothing else in this world could have put me in a better mood.
Ville caught me, dropping his bag onto the ground, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, my legs wrapped around him, securing my lips to his instantly, wanting nothing but to feel the warmth of his lips against mine, taste him all over again.
He gave a throaty laugh, obviously a little shocked to see my excitement at just seeing him again. We kept kissing like this, until we were both soaking wet from the rain and beginning to shiver from the cold air and rain upon our cloths.
I finally slide down his body, standing on my own, pushing him back slightly, unbuttoning his jacket and tossing it from him, thankful for no one being home on this day.
We kept moving back until he bumped into the hood of my Audi A4, which then I pushed him down onto the hood, leaning over him, our lips still together in our heated kisses. He wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me tightly to him, I took this time to begin grinding my hips against his, feeling his body respond to this as he began moving back against me.
My hands slipped beneath his shirt rubbing along his sides, scratching my blunt nails across his skin. His hands reaches for my shirt, tugging it off, our lips momentarily losing their contact, I take the time to open my eyes and watch him beneath me, heard the soft moans escaping his mouth as our hips started grinding against one another harder, the cloth rubbing roughly at our erections.
I moved my hand between us, gripping his cock through his pants, making his hips arch up into my touch a low groan escaping him, his eyes sliding shut, I began massaging my hand against the bulge in his pants, adoring the sounds coming from his lips, the look on his face.
I finally pulled my hand back, hearing a tiny whimper escape him at the loss of contact as I undid his belt, sliding his pants and boxers down away from his body, his hands instantly moved in doing the same to mine. I positioned myself against his entrance, his body began trembling at the touch, I leaned down to press my lips to his, taking his mind away from the pain about to come, as I slowly began pushing myself in.
A long drawn out cry erupted from his lips at the feel of me within his body, his eyes clenching shut. I keep my lips to his, kissing him tenderly, trying to give him something else to think about. After a moment he finally responded back to my kiss, as I’m buried completely within him, groaning against his lips at the feel of him.
I begin working up a rhythm within him, pulling myself entirely out before pushing back in roughly, his arms, wrapping tightly around my shoulders, keeping our lips together, our breathing coming hard and fast through our noses. My body begins rocking harder into him, our speed increasing, his body rocking back to meet each thrust, causing an added friction to everything.
Moans began pouring from their lips, crying out one another’s names, whispering soft ‘I love you’s’ my hands entangling in Ville’s hair, I move to shift within him, finding his spot and pushing in even harder against it, rocking in roughly.
His cries of pleasure told me how much he liked this, so I began moving faster, the rain pouring down harder amongst us. Our panting grew as our motions became more desperate, finally both of us releasing at the same moment in cries of one another name, his arms even tighter around me keeping me so close to him, giving ourselves a moment to catch our breaths.
I was the first to pull away, moving to pick his jeans up and slide them up his body, leaving them undone for him to do up again as I pulled my own back on. I then reached for his hand pulling him to my side as we walked back inside of the house.
We moved down and into the bedroom, both of us shivering from the wet cloths and the chill from outside, instantly stripping out cloths off and curling up under all the covers in bed together. Pressed so tightly together, his head resting over my heart, listening to my heart still beating quickly within my chest.
I reached down and began rubbing my hands over his hips, seeing the soft smile on his lips, I moved my hand over his stomach, kneading my fingers into the skin, a gentle purr escaping his mouth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My entire world froze in that moment. Because it was that moment it hit me.
I was home.
I told him then too I loved him. He of course said it back, it was nothing new to either of our ears. He never opened his eyes to see the tears running gently down my cheeks.
I told him years later when it was I knew how much I loved him, about a week before we were married.
Well, that was years ago. And here we are, so much older.
He still is my home, the one I love. And he always will be.
But our time has come and gone and it’s time for me to say goodbye.
Maybe you’ll find your home too, just like I’ve found mine.
He always was beautiful when he slept.
As I said, there are two fics here. Neither of them tied together. completel different stories, both inspired by one person. And if they read this they'll know.
ONE LAST TIME
He was laying on his leather couch when he heard his front door ring. With a growl he stood up and headed towards the front door, wondering who at 6AM could be knocking on his door. As he unlocked the deadbolt and pulled the door open he looked upon Ville standing there huddled in a black hoodie.
“Hey.” Ville said with a soft smile looking down at Bam.
“…hi.” Was the best Bam could get out in a soft whisper.
Ville stepped inside Bam’s home, walking down the hallway and into the living room, dropping down instantly onto the sofa looking at his friend as he walked in past.
“What… I thought you went back to Finland?” Bam said, sitting down on the opposite couch, not trusting himself to be near Ville at that moment.
“I was going to but got caught up drinking my night away.” Ville answered.
Bam nodded looking down at the floor before moving over to Ville. Sitting down in front of him, pinching his leg to make him look at him, as Ville smacked his hand with a gruff, “Don’t pinch me.”
Bam grinned at the usual response from Ville, having become so used to being told what to do and what not to.
Ville looked at him, watching his fidgeting for a moment before turning back to looking about the room, ignoring Bam as he moved to sit directly next to him.
“How’re you?” Bam said, poking Ville’s side.
“Don’t poke me. Fine.” Came Ville’s reply when he turned to look at Bam, his eyes narrowed, making Bam laugh out at the visible irratation on Ville’s face, happy to know he still can get under the mans skin.
“Why do you have the sudden urge to annoy me this morning?” Ville asked a slight growl seeping into his voice.
“Because. Keeps me from thinking about other things.” Bam said with a slight shrug.
Ville stayed silent, moving more into his hoodie, looking up at the picture of his band above the fireplace, paying all of his intention to it unaware of Bam as he shifted on the couch, before pouncing on him and beginning to tickle him.
Ville let out a uproar of laughter, squirming beneath Bam’s touch.
“Bam! Stop” Ville chocked out in a cry of more laughter.
Bam only started tickling him even harder as Ville slipped down the couch and onto the floor trying desperately to get out of Bam’s touch, pushing at his hands trying so hard to make him stop while chocking on his laughter.
“Please!” And with that Bam stopped, holding his hands behind his back, grinning down at Ville as he caught his breath, a smile plastered on his lips looking at Bam.
“What was that for!?” Ville cried out once he got his breath back.
“I wanted to hear you laugh again. I missed it.” Bam said, pushing Ville back down on the floor.
He moved to straddle Ville’s hips, keeping him down on the floor, still grinning, adoring the way Ville felt beneath him.
“So when are you going back to Finland then?” Bam asked, his feelings depleting at the memory of Ville leaving for good.
“In a few hours.” Ville said, tapping his fingers against his chest, looking up at Bam.
Bam nodded keeping his eyes on Ville, leaning down and pressing his forehead to Ville’s, pouting at him.
“I really…”
“Don’t start Bam. It’s not good for us to stay together. I need to go home to Finland and you need to stay here in your home.”
Bam cringed at the sound of the castle being called his. He had finally gotten so used to it being there’s. He kept his face calm not letting his emotions betray him, not letting Ville see how much it hurt him to know they weren’t a couple anymore, that Ville was no longer his.
His soft sigh was the only thing that betrayed him. His eyes never left Ville’s, finally moving in that last bit of space and pressing his lips to Ville’s.
Ville’s eyes went wide with the sudden touch of Bam’s lips, his entire body tensing until he let himself relax, hesitantly pressing his back against Bam’s.
Bam took this as a sign that it was okay, his eyes barely open, looking at Ville beginning to kiss him tenderly, cupping his cheeks in his hands, loving the feel of Ville’s lips back against his even for this one last time.
Ville’s kisses Bam back just as tenderly, his eyes sliding shut as Bam let out a soft groan, his hands slipping under Ville’s hoodie and shirt, gently massaging his hips. Ville’s arms came up wrapping around Bam’s neck, pulling him down, keeping their lips tightly together.
Bam’s eyes finally came to a close, kissing Ville hungrily, moving his hands up his shirt against his sides, scratching his blunt nails against the skin, Ville trying to move into his touch, whimpering into Bam’s mouth, giving Bam’s tongue a chance to slip into his mouth, rolling his tongue against Ville’s lips.
Ville gently nipped at Bam’s touch, sucking it into his mouth, running his fingers through his hair, their tongue mingling together, dancing across one another’s, hearts racing as the passion in their kisses increased.
After a few more moments, Bam finally pulled back, smiling at Ville, licking his lips, his eyes clouded intoxicated by Ville’s taste.
“You know I’ve always loved you. And always will.” Ville’s voice came out slightly hoarse.
Bam’s face lit up instantly, his eyes burning with tears at finally hearing those words from such a long time ago, swallowing back the lump in his throat, smiling warmly down at Ville. “I love you too… I can’t ever stop. Not something I feel so strongly.”
They smiled at each other for a moment in between each kiss, whispering ‘I love you’ laughing so softly. Bam gently pushing Ville’s hair back behind his ears. Loving the feel of Ville beneath him, their love glowing around them.
Bam’s world was whole once again, he knew Ville still loved him, he was filled with the mans taste again and filled with love. It had been months since he had been happy like this, or for that matter happy at all. So many things had fallen apart in his life and then finally, for that moment he had Ville back.
Ville let out a content sigh, ruffling Bam’s already messy hair around, kissing his forehead. Bam taking the time to think, his mind beginning to swim with thoughts, shutting his eyes and resting his head on Ville’s chest across his heartbeat, humming very softly.
Ville smiled at the sound coming from Bam, his eyes still closed. Speaking gently, “what are you humming?”
Bam, turned his head looking up at Ville before moving up a little, whispering and almost singing into Ville’s ear, “I know it hurts too much, I know that you're scared, I know you're running out of trust, wishing you were dead, In your misery, you're not alone, so come share your tears with me.”
Ville starred at Bam with a strange look on his face, frowning after a moment, pulling away from Bam.
“I think it’s time for me to go.” Ville said, getting up, straightening out his cloths.
Bam looked at him shocked then sighed heavily his face going calm, letting him pull away, his voice coming out nothing more but a whisper, unable to look at him, “…okay.”
Ville nodded, moving to reach down to Bam to help him up then deciding against it.
“Have fun in Finland.” Bam said, standing up with a fake smile on his face looking at Ville.
Ville frowned even harder then before, seeing the fake smile, but not saying anything. Having always hated when Bam faked a smile.
“Can I ask why you just did that? Kissed me?” Ville asked as he made his way to the door, Bam walking behind him.
“Because I wanted you for one last time. Wanted to have the one last thing I’ve wanted for so long that I never could. Wanted to show you how much I still love you.” Bam said, finally looking up at Ville, his face finally smiling.
Ville starred at him from the doorway, his hand on the frame, watching Bam, unsure of he words to say.
Bam gave him another fake smile and pushed him around and out the door, smacking his ass.
“Now be off with you, have fun and take care of yourself.”
Ville laughed, biting back from telling Bam to not touch his ass, his words coming out as a call as he started walking towards the cab still waiting for him, “Later, Margeran Bami!”
And with that Ville was gone, again. This time for good from Bam’s life as he stepped back into his home, hitting the play button on his stereo, letting the sounds of Nick Cave’s Nobody’s Baby anymore fill the room…..
I've searched the holy books
I tried to unravel the mystery of Jesus Christ, the savior
I've read the poets and the analysts
Searched through the books on human behavior
I traveled this world around
For an answer that refused to be found
I don't know why and
I don't know how
But she's nobody's baby now I
loved her then and
I guess I love her still
Hers is the face I see when a certain mood moves in
She lives in my blood and skin
Her wild feral stare, her dark hair
Her winter lips as cold as stone
Yeah, I was her man
But there are some things love won't allow
I held her hand but I don't hold it now
I don't know why and
I don't know how
But she's nobody's baby now
This is her dress that
I loved best
With the blue quilted violets across the breast
And these are my many letters
Torn to pieces by her long-fingered hand
I was her cruel-hearted man
And though I've tried to lay her ghost down
She's moving through me, even now
I don't know why and
I don't know how
But she's nobody's baby now
She's nobody's baby now
Nobody's baby now
She's nobody's baby now
So I thought I'd post them here, even though i really don't like either of them, maybe someone else will find something they like.
SOULMATES NEVER DIE
So. Love. What is there to say about it? Honestly, I can’t be sure. I mean. Here I am, 25 and thinking I’ve found the love of my life, the one. You know what I’m talking about, that one person that you feel perfect with.
But maybe I should explain to you what love is to me. That it’s not everything you see.
Love to me is home. It’s when you meet someone for the first time and you feel like you’ve finally come home. You have found your best friend in the entire world and you just feel at home. You don’t even realize it’s love until so much later and it hits you so hard, knocks the wind from your lungs.
And that’s how it was for me. I didn’t even realize how strong my feelings for Ville were so strong until so much later. You all probably already know how we met and everything. But you don’t know when I realized I was in love with him. When I realized, I’d made it home.
I can’t ever remember the exact setting for which these happened in. What I do know is that I felt so amazing when it happened. Anyway, I’ll stop blabbering and get on with the story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been raining there in West Chester for a week, on and off. I hadn’t seen the sun the entire time and was completely pissed at such a bad onslaught on bad weather. It had even started effecting my mood, I became reclusive, snappy at Ape and Phil, wanting to just be left in my room, but it was when I was in my room my mood brightened.
I had been sitting near my window, my forehead pressed against the glass, sighing quietly watching the rain fall when I saw it, something yellow flash through the tree’s and only moments later a yellow taxi pulled up in front of my house.
I starred down at the cab with mild enthusiasm wondering who the hell could be coming to my house in this weather, especially in a taxi. And then he stepped out.
Ville motherfucking Valo. His hair looked sleep tousled, his cloths slightly wrinkled, he must have just flown in. But… what was he doing here. I didn’t expect him for another week.
He grabbed his bag out of the car, handing the driver his money before walking out towards the front door, stopping to drop his cigarette to the ground and stub it out with his toe, his eyes wandered up the house and stopping on my window, a devious grin spreading across his face when he catches me watching him.
I let out a squeak and bonded from my room, running down the stairs and to the front door, throwing it open and pouncing out onto Ville, nothing else in this world could have put me in a better mood.
Ville caught me, dropping his bag onto the ground, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, my legs wrapped around him, securing my lips to his instantly, wanting nothing but to feel the warmth of his lips against mine, taste him all over again.
He gave a throaty laugh, obviously a little shocked to see my excitement at just seeing him again. We kept kissing like this, until we were both soaking wet from the rain and beginning to shiver from the cold air and rain upon our cloths.
I finally slide down his body, standing on my own, pushing him back slightly, unbuttoning his jacket and tossing it from him, thankful for no one being home on this day.
We kept moving back until he bumped into the hood of my Audi A4, which then I pushed him down onto the hood, leaning over him, our lips still together in our heated kisses. He wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me tightly to him, I took this time to begin grinding my hips against his, feeling his body respond to this as he began moving back against me.
My hands slipped beneath his shirt rubbing along his sides, scratching my blunt nails across his skin. His hands reaches for my shirt, tugging it off, our lips momentarily losing their contact, I take the time to open my eyes and watch him beneath me, heard the soft moans escaping his mouth as our hips started grinding against one another harder, the cloth rubbing roughly at our erections.
I moved my hand between us, gripping his cock through his pants, making his hips arch up into my touch a low groan escaping him, his eyes sliding shut, I began massaging my hand against the bulge in his pants, adoring the sounds coming from his lips, the look on his face.
I finally pulled my hand back, hearing a tiny whimper escape him at the loss of contact as I undid his belt, sliding his pants and boxers down away from his body, his hands instantly moved in doing the same to mine. I positioned myself against his entrance, his body began trembling at the touch, I leaned down to press my lips to his, taking his mind away from the pain about to come, as I slowly began pushing myself in.
A long drawn out cry erupted from his lips at the feel of me within his body, his eyes clenching shut. I keep my lips to his, kissing him tenderly, trying to give him something else to think about. After a moment he finally responded back to my kiss, as I’m buried completely within him, groaning against his lips at the feel of him.
I begin working up a rhythm within him, pulling myself entirely out before pushing back in roughly, his arms, wrapping tightly around my shoulders, keeping our lips together, our breathing coming hard and fast through our noses. My body begins rocking harder into him, our speed increasing, his body rocking back to meet each thrust, causing an added friction to everything.
Moans began pouring from their lips, crying out one another’s names, whispering soft ‘I love you’s’ my hands entangling in Ville’s hair, I move to shift within him, finding his spot and pushing in even harder against it, rocking in roughly.
His cries of pleasure told me how much he liked this, so I began moving faster, the rain pouring down harder amongst us. Our panting grew as our motions became more desperate, finally both of us releasing at the same moment in cries of one another name, his arms even tighter around me keeping me so close to him, giving ourselves a moment to catch our breaths.
I was the first to pull away, moving to pick his jeans up and slide them up his body, leaving them undone for him to do up again as I pulled my own back on. I then reached for his hand pulling him to my side as we walked back inside of the house.
We moved down and into the bedroom, both of us shivering from the wet cloths and the chill from outside, instantly stripping out cloths off and curling up under all the covers in bed together. Pressed so tightly together, his head resting over my heart, listening to my heart still beating quickly within my chest.
I reached down and began rubbing my hands over his hips, seeing the soft smile on his lips, I moved my hand over his stomach, kneading my fingers into the skin, a gentle purr escaping his mouth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My entire world froze in that moment. Because it was that moment it hit me.
I was home.
I told him then too I loved him. He of course said it back, it was nothing new to either of our ears. He never opened his eyes to see the tears running gently down my cheeks.
I told him years later when it was I knew how much I loved him, about a week before we were married.
Well, that was years ago. And here we are, so much older.
He still is my home, the one I love. And he always will be.
But our time has come and gone and it’s time for me to say goodbye.
Maybe you’ll find your home too, just like I’ve found mine.
He always was beautiful when he slept.
As I said, there are two fics here. Neither of them tied together. completel different stories, both inspired by one person. And if they read this they'll know.
ONE LAST TIME
He was laying on his leather couch when he heard his front door ring. With a growl he stood up and headed towards the front door, wondering who at 6AM could be knocking on his door. As he unlocked the deadbolt and pulled the door open he looked upon Ville standing there huddled in a black hoodie.
“Hey.” Ville said with a soft smile looking down at Bam.
“…hi.” Was the best Bam could get out in a soft whisper.
Ville stepped inside Bam’s home, walking down the hallway and into the living room, dropping down instantly onto the sofa looking at his friend as he walked in past.
“What… I thought you went back to Finland?” Bam said, sitting down on the opposite couch, not trusting himself to be near Ville at that moment.
“I was going to but got caught up drinking my night away.” Ville answered.
Bam nodded looking down at the floor before moving over to Ville. Sitting down in front of him, pinching his leg to make him look at him, as Ville smacked his hand with a gruff, “Don’t pinch me.”
Bam grinned at the usual response from Ville, having become so used to being told what to do and what not to.
Ville looked at him, watching his fidgeting for a moment before turning back to looking about the room, ignoring Bam as he moved to sit directly next to him.
“How’re you?” Bam said, poking Ville’s side.
“Don’t poke me. Fine.” Came Ville’s reply when he turned to look at Bam, his eyes narrowed, making Bam laugh out at the visible irratation on Ville’s face, happy to know he still can get under the mans skin.
“Why do you have the sudden urge to annoy me this morning?” Ville asked a slight growl seeping into his voice.
“Because. Keeps me from thinking about other things.” Bam said with a slight shrug.
Ville stayed silent, moving more into his hoodie, looking up at the picture of his band above the fireplace, paying all of his intention to it unaware of Bam as he shifted on the couch, before pouncing on him and beginning to tickle him.
Ville let out a uproar of laughter, squirming beneath Bam’s touch.
“Bam! Stop” Ville chocked out in a cry of more laughter.
Bam only started tickling him even harder as Ville slipped down the couch and onto the floor trying desperately to get out of Bam’s touch, pushing at his hands trying so hard to make him stop while chocking on his laughter.
“Please!” And with that Bam stopped, holding his hands behind his back, grinning down at Ville as he caught his breath, a smile plastered on his lips looking at Bam.
“What was that for!?” Ville cried out once he got his breath back.
“I wanted to hear you laugh again. I missed it.” Bam said, pushing Ville back down on the floor.
He moved to straddle Ville’s hips, keeping him down on the floor, still grinning, adoring the way Ville felt beneath him.
“So when are you going back to Finland then?” Bam asked, his feelings depleting at the memory of Ville leaving for good.
“In a few hours.” Ville said, tapping his fingers against his chest, looking up at Bam.
Bam nodded keeping his eyes on Ville, leaning down and pressing his forehead to Ville’s, pouting at him.
“I really…”
“Don’t start Bam. It’s not good for us to stay together. I need to go home to Finland and you need to stay here in your home.”
Bam cringed at the sound of the castle being called his. He had finally gotten so used to it being there’s. He kept his face calm not letting his emotions betray him, not letting Ville see how much it hurt him to know they weren’t a couple anymore, that Ville was no longer his.
His soft sigh was the only thing that betrayed him. His eyes never left Ville’s, finally moving in that last bit of space and pressing his lips to Ville’s.
Ville’s eyes went wide with the sudden touch of Bam’s lips, his entire body tensing until he let himself relax, hesitantly pressing his back against Bam’s.
Bam took this as a sign that it was okay, his eyes barely open, looking at Ville beginning to kiss him tenderly, cupping his cheeks in his hands, loving the feel of Ville’s lips back against his even for this one last time.
Ville’s kisses Bam back just as tenderly, his eyes sliding shut as Bam let out a soft groan, his hands slipping under Ville’s hoodie and shirt, gently massaging his hips. Ville’s arms came up wrapping around Bam’s neck, pulling him down, keeping their lips tightly together.
Bam’s eyes finally came to a close, kissing Ville hungrily, moving his hands up his shirt against his sides, scratching his blunt nails against the skin, Ville trying to move into his touch, whimpering into Bam’s mouth, giving Bam’s tongue a chance to slip into his mouth, rolling his tongue against Ville’s lips.
Ville gently nipped at Bam’s touch, sucking it into his mouth, running his fingers through his hair, their tongue mingling together, dancing across one another’s, hearts racing as the passion in their kisses increased.
After a few more moments, Bam finally pulled back, smiling at Ville, licking his lips, his eyes clouded intoxicated by Ville’s taste.
“You know I’ve always loved you. And always will.” Ville’s voice came out slightly hoarse.
Bam’s face lit up instantly, his eyes burning with tears at finally hearing those words from such a long time ago, swallowing back the lump in his throat, smiling warmly down at Ville. “I love you too… I can’t ever stop. Not something I feel so strongly.”
They smiled at each other for a moment in between each kiss, whispering ‘I love you’ laughing so softly. Bam gently pushing Ville’s hair back behind his ears. Loving the feel of Ville beneath him, their love glowing around them.
Bam’s world was whole once again, he knew Ville still loved him, he was filled with the mans taste again and filled with love. It had been months since he had been happy like this, or for that matter happy at all. So many things had fallen apart in his life and then finally, for that moment he had Ville back.
Ville let out a content sigh, ruffling Bam’s already messy hair around, kissing his forehead. Bam taking the time to think, his mind beginning to swim with thoughts, shutting his eyes and resting his head on Ville’s chest across his heartbeat, humming very softly.
Ville smiled at the sound coming from Bam, his eyes still closed. Speaking gently, “what are you humming?”
Bam, turned his head looking up at Ville before moving up a little, whispering and almost singing into Ville’s ear, “I know it hurts too much, I know that you're scared, I know you're running out of trust, wishing you were dead, In your misery, you're not alone, so come share your tears with me.”
Ville starred at Bam with a strange look on his face, frowning after a moment, pulling away from Bam.
“I think it’s time for me to go.” Ville said, getting up, straightening out his cloths.
Bam looked at him shocked then sighed heavily his face going calm, letting him pull away, his voice coming out nothing more but a whisper, unable to look at him, “…okay.”
Ville nodded, moving to reach down to Bam to help him up then deciding against it.
“Have fun in Finland.” Bam said, standing up with a fake smile on his face looking at Ville.
Ville frowned even harder then before, seeing the fake smile, but not saying anything. Having always hated when Bam faked a smile.
“Can I ask why you just did that? Kissed me?” Ville asked as he made his way to the door, Bam walking behind him.
“Because I wanted you for one last time. Wanted to have the one last thing I’ve wanted for so long that I never could. Wanted to show you how much I still love you.” Bam said, finally looking up at Ville, his face finally smiling.
Ville starred at him from the doorway, his hand on the frame, watching Bam, unsure of he words to say.
Bam gave him another fake smile and pushed him around and out the door, smacking his ass.
“Now be off with you, have fun and take care of yourself.”
Ville laughed, biting back from telling Bam to not touch his ass, his words coming out as a call as he started walking towards the cab still waiting for him, “Later, Margeran Bami!”
And with that Ville was gone, again. This time for good from Bam’s life as he stepped back into his home, hitting the play button on his stereo, letting the sounds of Nick Cave’s Nobody’s Baby anymore fill the room…..
I've searched the holy books
I tried to unravel the mystery of Jesus Christ, the savior
I've read the poets and the analysts
Searched through the books on human behavior
I traveled this world around
For an answer that refused to be found
I don't know why and
I don't know how
But she's nobody's baby now I
loved her then and
I guess I love her still
Hers is the face I see when a certain mood moves in
She lives in my blood and skin
Her wild feral stare, her dark hair
Her winter lips as cold as stone
Yeah, I was her man
But there are some things love won't allow
I held her hand but I don't hold it now
I don't know why and
I don't know how
But she's nobody's baby now
This is her dress that
I loved best
With the blue quilted violets across the breast
And these are my many letters
Torn to pieces by her long-fingered hand
I was her cruel-hearted man
And though I've tried to lay her ghost down
She's moving through me, even now
I don't know why and
I don't know how
But she's nobody's baby now
She's nobody's baby now
Nobody's baby now
She's nobody's baby now