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So...I got stumped with the other fic, and this appeared. I have no idea where it came from. It's odd but I like how it turned out. The song that inspired it is one damn sad and beautiful song, I suggest you all download it. It's all from Bam's POV btw.
Enjoy! Comments are love, don't forget it! :D
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you,
that I almost believe that they're real.
Tears pricked my eyes as the song began to play. I glanced down, fingering the pictures of you happy and having fun with your friends. Your bright eyes shining, and your smile as perfect as an angel. I still don't understand why you're not with me anymore.
I stopped to focus on one picture in particular. Memories flooded my mind. There we were, we couldn't be any more in love. My arms gripped your waist tightly as you kissed my cheek, one leg lifted up slightly from the ground for comedy value. You were pulling that silly face you always do, it was so adorable. I remember when that picture had been taken. We had been on a date. One of those amazing ones that you never want to end. We talked all day, literally, because I remember we watched the sunset that night hand-in-hand. It was a frosty evening, and you were shivering. I remember me laughing at you, I the Yank and you from Finland, yet it was you who willed the sun to shine. All the guys came over and we drank all night, you and the band jammed a few songs, we smoked your happy-cigarettes and we laughed. God, did we laugh?! Mige was following everyone with a camera, I remember, and you were always the poser, chasing him around and grinning like a hyena everytime he held.
Life isn't that fun anymore. I miss you, Ville. When you left, a large piece of my heart died and I don't think that can be repleaced. Oh god, please come back to me.
as I ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as the sky fell in,
holding you close, how I always held close in your fear,
remembering.
Tears began to roll down my face. I blinked profusely. No, I wasn't going to cry, not again. Even when we were at our happiest, I was always so afraid to lose you. I must have some weird sixth-sense because only after two years of bliss, we're apart and I can't see you anymore. At night when you were so carefree and asleep, I'd lie next to you, tracing the contours of your collarbone, memorized by your beauty. I'd take in everything about you; the way your lips parted ever so slightly whilst you slept, the way your hair always seemed to cover your face in a scruffy-boyish fashion, the way your eyes flickered slightly and your lips curled into a half-smile when you were dreaming. I'd count my blessings that I had you, because you were just too good to be true. Perhaps I wasn't thankful enough. Perhaps that's why you left? I don't know. I just don't know anymore.
so delicate,
lost in the cold,
you were always so lost in the dark.
The tears fell. I couldn't hold it in. Just imagining your angelic face smiling back at me one more time, just one more time. All this heartache would have been worth it. I'm slowly breaking apart and I need you. Don't you feel the same?
I can't blame you for what happened. You weren't to blame. I think we both were. You were so lost, so innocent sometimes, I wondered if you were realised what you were doing to yourself. The last few months you seemed to be on a slow-burn. The energy that so often ommited from you was becoming weaker and less vibrant. You weren't the same Ville I used to know, you were confused and unhappy.
if only I'd thought of the right words I could have held on to your heart
I didn't know what I could do to help you. You shut me out. Why? I could have helped you, we could have worked through it all but you had already given up on everything by then.
I love you so much. You're killing me from the inside out, I hope you know that. I can feel my body shutting down. Was it all really worth it? Did you never once feel like this? My heart feels like it's going to explode and I don't think you even care. Why? Sure, I could have done more but was I really that worthless for you to forget I existed? I don't understand any of this. I just want you back. Where you belong, here. You're so far away, and I hate it. I hate not having you near me.
Just one smile. One kiss. One brush. I want to make love to you like we used to do, and to hold you all night. If I could start it all over again, I know that I wouldn't let you out of my sight.
there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more,
than to feel you deep in my heart.
there was nothing in the world hat I ever wanted more,
than to never feel the breaking apart.
my pictures of you...
I felt a hand on my arm, and for a moment I thought it was you. "Brandon, do you want to..." the priest gestured to me, and I snapped back into reality. I shakily released the arrangement of white lilies from my hands, letting them fall into the large space beneath my feet. None of this was right. I stared blankly at your grave, all emotion seemed to disperse from me. This couldn't be real. You were all alone down there, tucked away for people to forget you, and I was lonely here without you. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. You should have never have drank so much that night and never went out driving in the rain. I should have held you back. But nothing could hold you back. You were killing yourself in small doses. And maybe I'm being selfish, but you should haven't left me alone because I just can't cope here on my own.
Just think of it as one long dream, my love. I know the darkness will clear eventually and I'll find you again, if not in this lifetime then another.
~ Lyrics by The Cure "Pictures Of You"
Enjoy! Comments are love, don't forget it! :D
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you,
that I almost believe that they're real.
Tears pricked my eyes as the song began to play. I glanced down, fingering the pictures of you happy and having fun with your friends. Your bright eyes shining, and your smile as perfect as an angel. I still don't understand why you're not with me anymore.
I stopped to focus on one picture in particular. Memories flooded my mind. There we were, we couldn't be any more in love. My arms gripped your waist tightly as you kissed my cheek, one leg lifted up slightly from the ground for comedy value. You were pulling that silly face you always do, it was so adorable. I remember when that picture had been taken. We had been on a date. One of those amazing ones that you never want to end. We talked all day, literally, because I remember we watched the sunset that night hand-in-hand. It was a frosty evening, and you were shivering. I remember me laughing at you, I the Yank and you from Finland, yet it was you who willed the sun to shine. All the guys came over and we drank all night, you and the band jammed a few songs, we smoked your happy-cigarettes and we laughed. God, did we laugh?! Mige was following everyone with a camera, I remember, and you were always the poser, chasing him around and grinning like a hyena everytime he held.
Life isn't that fun anymore. I miss you, Ville. When you left, a large piece of my heart died and I don't think that can be repleaced. Oh god, please come back to me.
as I ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as the sky fell in,
holding you close, how I always held close in your fear,
remembering.
Tears began to roll down my face. I blinked profusely. No, I wasn't going to cry, not again. Even when we were at our happiest, I was always so afraid to lose you. I must have some weird sixth-sense because only after two years of bliss, we're apart and I can't see you anymore. At night when you were so carefree and asleep, I'd lie next to you, tracing the contours of your collarbone, memorized by your beauty. I'd take in everything about you; the way your lips parted ever so slightly whilst you slept, the way your hair always seemed to cover your face in a scruffy-boyish fashion, the way your eyes flickered slightly and your lips curled into a half-smile when you were dreaming. I'd count my blessings that I had you, because you were just too good to be true. Perhaps I wasn't thankful enough. Perhaps that's why you left? I don't know. I just don't know anymore.
so delicate,
lost in the cold,
you were always so lost in the dark.
The tears fell. I couldn't hold it in. Just imagining your angelic face smiling back at me one more time, just one more time. All this heartache would have been worth it. I'm slowly breaking apart and I need you. Don't you feel the same?
I can't blame you for what happened. You weren't to blame. I think we both were. You were so lost, so innocent sometimes, I wondered if you were realised what you were doing to yourself. The last few months you seemed to be on a slow-burn. The energy that so often ommited from you was becoming weaker and less vibrant. You weren't the same Ville I used to know, you were confused and unhappy.
if only I'd thought of the right words I could have held on to your heart
I didn't know what I could do to help you. You shut me out. Why? I could have helped you, we could have worked through it all but you had already given up on everything by then.
I love you so much. You're killing me from the inside out, I hope you know that. I can feel my body shutting down. Was it all really worth it? Did you never once feel like this? My heart feels like it's going to explode and I don't think you even care. Why? Sure, I could have done more but was I really that worthless for you to forget I existed? I don't understand any of this. I just want you back. Where you belong, here. You're so far away, and I hate it. I hate not having you near me.
Just one smile. One kiss. One brush. I want to make love to you like we used to do, and to hold you all night. If I could start it all over again, I know that I wouldn't let you out of my sight.
there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more,
than to feel you deep in my heart.
there was nothing in the world hat I ever wanted more,
than to never feel the breaking apart.
my pictures of you...
I felt a hand on my arm, and for a moment I thought it was you. "Brandon, do you want to..." the priest gestured to me, and I snapped back into reality. I shakily released the arrangement of white lilies from my hands, letting them fall into the large space beneath my feet. None of this was right. I stared blankly at your grave, all emotion seemed to disperse from me. This couldn't be real. You were all alone down there, tucked away for people to forget you, and I was lonely here without you. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. You should have never have drank so much that night and never went out driving in the rain. I should have held you back. But nothing could hold you back. You were killing yourself in small doses. And maybe I'm being selfish, but you should haven't left me alone because I just can't cope here on my own.
Just think of it as one long dream, my love. I know the darkness will clear eventually and I'll find you again, if not in this lifetime then another.
~ Lyrics by The Cure "Pictures Of You"