(no subject)
Title: Closet
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam
Summary: Ville and Bam let their chance to be together slip away before, but when the chance to be together arises again, can they make it work... despite keeping it a secret from their friends and family?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: My normal fic with lots of ups and downs.
Authors Notes: I'm feeling fairly confident in what I have planned for this... so I'm going to go ahead and start posting it. No telling when I will post again, might not be for a few days...depends on how the internet accessibility is going on in my life
A cup mentioned in this update: http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=6363
Bam hummed softly as he picked up the last of the trash in the house. Cyrus was now a whole year old, sitting up by himself, babbling, and happy to be with anyone around him... loving all of his family equally.
The sound of the door knob turning made Bam look to the front of the house. He dropped the bag and slowly walked over to the front door. He jerked when the door opened and slowly creaked further away from the entrance way. “Hello?”
“It’s me Bammie.” Ville said as he peeked into the house.
A smile formed on Bam’s face as he rushed over to the other man. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Is anyone else down here?” Ville asked, putting a small box down on the stand next to the door.
“Everyone else is asleep...” Bam said, disappointed when he didn’t see more luggage.
“Good...” Ville placed his hand on Bam’s cheek and kissed him. “How is our little man doing?”
“Good... sleeping like an angel. Where is our slightly older boy?”
“Gas is watching him...” Ville smiled for a moment, “I swear he loves Alexsi almost as much as I do. I can’t wait to meet Cyrus....” His smile faded a little before he added, “I can’t stay long today....” Ville said, noticing right away the look of sadness in his lover’s eyes. “But I wanted to see you... at least for a moment....”
Bam nodded, forcing a smile as he ran his hands along Ville’s chest. “Okay....”
“I brought you this...” Ville said, picking up the box, handing it to Bam.
Bam smiled, this time with a note of real happiness, as he took the box. “It’s Cyrus’ birthday today...not mine.”
“But it was just a few days ago, was it not? I called that day, but I waited until now to bring you something.” Ville explained.
“Still doesn’t seem fair.”
Ville smiled, “You can make it up to me later.”
Bam leaned in and kissed Ville, “I will... and thank you... for the present” He opened the box to find a single cup cake in it. He knew it would be chocolate, since that was his favorite. It was covered in a layer of dark purple frosting, pushed inside of it, was a familiar object. “Ville...” Bam whispered.
Ville touched the side of the skater’s face, leaning in to brush his lips against the American’s, before nipping at his bottom lip. “I’m not the only one who decided to get sober a year ago...”
A tear ran down his cheek as Bam pulled the medallion from the frosting, licking the creamy substance away from the metal surface. Like Ville’s, the front of the coin had a heartagram, instead of the normal triangle, teddy bear, or other object that came on these AA anniversary celebration medallions. Bam’s was different from Ville’s since it had a thin coating of black, that shimmered with purple and turquoise when it was tilted left or right.
Bam put the box down and flipped the coin over, reading the back twice before he looked to Ville again. I put my hand in yours, and we did, what I couldn’t do alone. “It’s about us...” He said softly.
“Or how our son’s helped us change our lives.” Ville put in.
Bam nodded, “I love you...” He turned and kissed Ville lovingly.
“Ville pulled Bam close and returned the kiss. “I love you too.”
“So how long do I have you for?” Bam asked softly.
“As hour...at most.”
Bam nodded, “Better than nothing.”
“I wish I could do more.... and I think I know how I could.” Ville said, smiling at Bam.
“What’s that?” Bam asked, as Ville lead him into the next room.
Ville stopped next to the stereo and lowered the volume after turning it on. He flipped through the CD’s until he found one of April’s soft, romantic, music selections. After he picked a song, he pulled Bam close and started dancing with Bam.
Bam smiled as rested his cheek against Ville’s shoulder, amazed that he was not just doing something like this, but enjoying it. “Do you really have to go?”
Bam’s gently asked question made Ville look at him, just as the singer was belting out a heart wrenching confession of his undying devotion to a nameless woman in his life. “Well... I don’t have to rush away from here.” Ville whispered back, kissing Bam gently.
“That’s good to know... it has been six months since I’ve last seen you.” Bam said, deepening the kiss, pulling Ville closer.
“Is that a request for me to spend the night?” Ville asked against Bam’s lips.
“If it isn’t too much of a problem....” Bam said with a silly smile, turning the steoro off. “After all... I know you’re a busy man...”
Ville chuckled, “Never too busy for you.”
***
Bam sighed happily when he heard his phone ring.... that was until he realized it wasn’t his phone.... and Ville was swearing as he stumbled from the bed. “What’s wrong....?”
“I’m sorry...” Ville was saying in Finnish as he stumbled back into his clothes. “I know...I know... I’ll be there in a few minutes... I swear...”
Bam looked around and realized it was dawn. As if on cue, Cyrus started crying from his nursery. He stumbled from the bed, pulled pants on and ran from the room and down to where his son was. He scooped his son out of the crib and carried him down to his bedroom as Ville came out of it.
“I’m sorry....I have to go.” Ville was saying, pausing when he saw Cyrus. He smiled at the little boy, who was rubbing his eyes. “My God.... he’s changed so much.” He reached out and touched the boy’s flushed cheek, followed by his dirty blond, wavy, hair.
Bam smiled, “Stayed later than you meant too?”
Ville nodded, leaning in to kiss Bam. “Alexsi woke up and realized I was gone.”
“Awww...poor little guy.”
“I have to rush back to the bus, before Mige comes here and kicks the crap out of me, and then drags me away.” Ville’s mild humor made Bam chuckle. “I’ll see you soon.”
`“I can’t wait.” Bam said, stealing two more kisses as Ville pulled his jacket on.
After kissing Cyrus on the cheek, Ville blew Bam another kiss and headed down the hall in a hurry.
***
“Thank God you’re back.” Linde said as Ville stumbled onto the tour bus.
“Look who's here.” Gas said in an enthusiastic manner, indicating to Ville. It caused Alexsi to look at the door.
“Papa!” Alexsi cried, the 18-month old was terribly attached to his father and had been freaked out when he couldn’t find him. He attempted to run over to his father, but since he was still mastering his ability to walk, he fell down. Normally, this wouldn’t have stopped him. He would have just pulled himself back up and continued to walk, or at least try too. But he was too upset for that, so he crawled as quickly as he could over to Ville.
“My poor little Alexsi.” Ville said, crouching down so he scoop Alexsi up. The little boy rested his head on Ville’s shoulder, moving his fingers near his mouth as he continued crying, which made him make a funny noise. “It’s alright.” Ville said gently, rubbing his son’s back. “I’m really sorry... I fell asleep...”
“Sure you did.” Burton said as he crawled into his bunk.
Ville frowned, “What?”
“Dude...if you wanted to go out...for a little adult fun...it’s cool.” Mige said.
Ville looked between his friends and band mates. “What are you talking about?”
“Tell your girlfriend to either be more gentle next time...or aim lower.” Mige teased, indicating to his neck.
Ville’s eyes went wide as he touched the side of his neck that Mige had pointed out. He moved through the bus and looked at the first mirror he could find.
“Uh-oh papa...” Alexsi said, indicating to the “bruise” on his father’s neck. “Boo-boo.”
“Umm... yeah.... boo-boo.” Ville said, adjusting the way he was holding his son. “Would you like your sippy cup?”
Alexsi nodded, rubbing his eyes and flushed, tear soaked, cheeks. “Sippy.” He leaned against his father’s chest as he was carried back into “kitchen” area of the bus. “Boo-boo...” he reminded once there, pointing the spot out again, causing the other adults to chuckle.
“Yes... boo-boo Alexsi... thank you.” Ville said, batting his son’s hand away before pulling out his prized sippy cup. It was purple and aluminum, with seal lions on it, dressed like circus performers. He only put a sip or two in it, making sure the water was cool since the metal of the container would make sure it stayed that way longer than a normal cup would.
Alexsi bounced up and down, getting excited as he reached out for his cup. “Sippy...sippy....sippy....”
“He you go.” Ville said, handing the cup over to his son. He rocked the almost toddler as he sucked the water down. “Now you need to go back to sleep...it’s way to early for you to be awake.”
“No.” Alexsi mumbled, rubbing his eye again, holding the empty cup as tightly as he could manage.
“I’m happy for you Ville.” Gas said, following Ville back to his bunk.
Ville carefully crawled into his bunk, laying on his back so Alexsi could sit on his stomach. “About what?”
“Finding someone....”
Ville felt that moment of panic return, trying not to look at the drummer for too long. “Who says I found anyone...?” He asked carefully, putting his hands near his son’s sides, so the little boy wouldn’t accidentally fall off.
Gas smiled, “How long have we known each other? I know what it’s like when you get excited about something...or someone... and you were practically on pins and needles to see whoever you sneak off to see.”
Ville looked at Alexsi who was was wiggling up his chest more. He couldn’t deny what Gas was saying, and his silence showed that.
“Next time... don’t worry about lying about where you’re going. I’ll watch Alexsi for you.” Gas said, reaching out to run his hand over the little boy’s head.
Ville smiled, “Thank you...thank God at least someone likes kids.”
“I like kids....” Linde commented from his bunk. “Just not when they are little... and screaming for their parent who has vanished.... this early in the morning.”
Ville chuckled, “I’ll make it up to you.”
“How did you have a kid?” Burton asked, peeking at Linde.
“Like you did.” Linde murmured.
“No seriously...” Burton started, just to get stopped by Mige.
“He’s right... you did have kids the same way... just like Gas... you got girlfriends to have and take care of kids for you.”
“It’s the only way to do it.” Linde commented.
“You’re a sour puss.” Gas commented, smiling at Alexsi who was looking up at him. “Kids are great.”
“They don’t belong on tour.” Linde asserted, rolling so his back was to them, since putting his arm over his eyes wasn’t a big enough hint that he was trying to sleep.
“You know if I had a choice...” Ville started, but Burton stopped him.
“It’s alright.... no one minds Alexsi being here.” Burton frowned when Linde snorted, as if to object to that statement. “We understand that you don’t have anyone to watch him for you.”
“I do...it’s just... complicated.” Ville mumbled, rubbing his son’s back again.
“When is Jonna taking him again?” Mige asked.
Ville shrugged, “She is more interested in the next time she can spend time with me.”
“Go for it... get at least a little something out of the deal.” Mige said.
Ville frowned, “I couldn’t do that.”
“Why? Because you have principals now?” Burton asked.
Because it would break Bammie’s heart.... Ville thought to himself. “Jonna doesn’t deserve it.” He answered softly.
“Or maybe he is afraid of offending his new girlfriend?” Burton teased, causing the other guys to chuckle.
“I don’t have a new girlfriend...” Ville asserted in as serious a tone as he could manage.
“Well...whatever she is...” Burton said, settling in his own bunk, “Bring her around sometime... I can’t wait to meet her. One of us should be able to have unattached sex....”
The rest of Burton’s sentence drifted away into the back of his consciousness, as Ville thought instead of Bam. Seeing the younger man, was about so much more than sex...it was about a love that seemed to reach way down deep into his soul.
He looked to Alexsi, who was playing with his medallion. He reached out and touched the little boy’s cheek, “How different... would my life be... if you were not here?” He whispered, moving Alexsi so he could lay down with him, knowing he would have to eventually move his son to his crib before he fell asleep.
“How different would both of our lives be... if we had the freedom to...”
***
“For someone who has been....”falling asleep” a lot... you sure are tired all of the time.” Mige teased, waking Ville up.
Ville drew in a deep breath and cracked his eyes opened. Truthfully, he had managed to sneak back to where Bam was staying, when their paths happened to cross; the handful of times since Cyrus’ birthday that it had happened. He was tired partly from the non-sleep he was doing with Bam, on top of staying busy with Alexsi and the band, but also because he wasn’t sleeping well.
He rubbed his face and sighed. The closer it got to Alexsi’s birthday, the more he realized he knew he had a decision to make.
No sooner did he try to get up, but he was walking funny, since he had Alexsi clinging to his leg. He smiled at the little boy, knowing that he might as well enjoy the attention while he could have it.
He managed to get over to the fridge and opened the door.
Alexsi’s eyes went wide, when he saw where his father was going. “Sippy!” He bounced up and down before he tried pressing himself into the fridge in search of his favorite cup.
Ville smiled and then looked to the back of the bus, “When was the last time he had his sippy?”
“Ask Gas...” Linde said, not looking from his guitar.
Gas sighed and leaned forward, “It’s been a while.”
“Sippy...papa...” Alexsi said, pulling on his father’s shirt before he started hanging from it. “Pwease.”
“Alright... alright...” He scooped his son up and propped him on his hip. “Would you like some milk?”
“No.” Alexsi said, pointing to the milk jug.
Ville chuckled and pulled the milk from the fridge, pouring some into the purple seal sippy cup. He waited until it was about a 1/3 full, before he screwed the cap back on and handed it to his son.
Alexsi squealed happily, taking the sippy cup from his father. “Down...” Alexsi said, indicating to the floor.
“What do you say?” Ville asked.
“Umm... Wel-com?” Alexsi offered, making his father laugh.
“Close...Thank you....” Ville reminded.
“Okay.” Alexsi agreed, returning to his efforts to return to the floor. “Down.”
Ville chuckled and put his son on the floor, watching as the little boy toddled off. “Watch out... he has his sippy.”
“Watch the kid Gas.” Linde said, as he continued to tune his new guitar.
Gas sighed and then smiled at the little boy who was trying to crawl onto the couch. “Be careful with that cup of yours.”
“No.” Alexsi asserted, refusing help until he realized he really couldn’t do it alone. “Up Gas...”
Gas, along with Mige and Burton, chuckled at the little boy.
No sooner had Alexsi reached his desired destination next to the drummer, but there was a loud, “Uh-oh!”
“Just think... Jonna misses out on these precious moments.” Linde said sarcastically, getting up from his chair.
It was only when the blond didn’t return, that Burton sighed and got up himself to help clean up the mess. “He really shouldn’t be allowed near anyone under the age of ten.”
Gas chuckled, “I do recall him being a bit of a softy for a little blond with the same last name as him.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Linde grumbled as he squeezed past Ville.
“Jonna called... she is still pressing to spend Alexsi’ birthday with you both.” Burton mentioned, looking through the corner of his eyes to the singer, who sighed.
“Man she wants to get back together with you so bad.” Mige groaned. “Just give in....”
Ville frowned and shook his head, cutting into his friend’s statement, “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? So you stopped partying... that doesn’t mean you can’t give her a second chance.” Burton put in. “Or at least give her a call...”
Ville watched from the doorway, knowing what he had to do. “You’re right...I need to make a call... she deserves it.”
“You’re going to call her?” Mige asked with a hopefully smile.
Without answering his friends question, Ville grabbed the cordless phone and went back to the front of the bus, dialing a number without thinking about it. “Hello.... can I talk to Jonna?”
There was a paused followed by....
“Hello...Jonna... we need to talk...” Ville said.
***
Ville slipped out of his seat, adjusting his diaper bag, before he reach in to get Alexsi out. He balanced the cranky toddler on his stomach, as best as he could, so he could adjust his hat. It was snowing lightly, and he didn’t want the little boy to get a cold. “I know... you’re not used to coming here.... but I hope you understand... I’m doing this for you.”
He waved to the cabbie and grabbed his bag and walked up to the house. He kicked the door since he couldn’t knock. “Sometimes it’s not easy to be an adult... sometimes... you have to make sacrifices...” He was telling Alexsi, who was quickly getting tired of being held. He wanted down and he wanted that to happen now.
Ville’s attention was drawn to the door when it opened, smiling at the woman that answered it. “Hello.”
After being greeted the woman in front of him, he put his bag down. Before putting Alexsi down, he added, “I’m sure you’ll be able to be just as happy here, as you would have been with....”
***With whom?! Find out in the next chapter***
;P
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4004876.html?view=56673548#t56673548
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4005494.html?view=56715894#t56715894
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4009659.html
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4019998.html?view=56859422#t56859422
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4022365.html?view=56883037#t56883037
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4023449.html?view=56896665#t56896665
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4024016.html?view=56907472#t56907472
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4024618.html?view=56916778#t56916778
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/4025321.html?view=56928745#t56928745
Author: myforgottenpain
Rating: R
Pairing: Vam
Summary: Ville and Bam let their chance to be together slip away before, but when the chance to be together arises again, can they make it work... despite keeping it a secret from their friends and family?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Warnings: My normal fic with lots of ups and downs.
Authors Notes: I'm feeling fairly confident in what I have planned for this... so I'm going to go ahead and start posting it. No telling when I will post again, might not be for a few days...depends on how the internet accessibility is going on in my life
A cup mentioned in this update: http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=6363
Bam hummed softly as he picked up the last of the trash in the house. Cyrus was now a whole year old, sitting up by himself, babbling, and happy to be with anyone around him... loving all of his family equally.
The sound of the door knob turning made Bam look to the front of the house. He dropped the bag and slowly walked over to the front door. He jerked when the door opened and slowly creaked further away from the entrance way. “Hello?”
“It’s me Bammie.” Ville said as he peeked into the house.
A smile formed on Bam’s face as he rushed over to the other man. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Is anyone else down here?” Ville asked, putting a small box down on the stand next to the door.
“Everyone else is asleep...” Bam said, disappointed when he didn’t see more luggage.
“Good...” Ville placed his hand on Bam’s cheek and kissed him. “How is our little man doing?”
“Good... sleeping like an angel. Where is our slightly older boy?”
“Gas is watching him...” Ville smiled for a moment, “I swear he loves Alexsi almost as much as I do. I can’t wait to meet Cyrus....” His smile faded a little before he added, “I can’t stay long today....” Ville said, noticing right away the look of sadness in his lover’s eyes. “But I wanted to see you... at least for a moment....”
Bam nodded, forcing a smile as he ran his hands along Ville’s chest. “Okay....”
“I brought you this...” Ville said, picking up the box, handing it to Bam.
Bam smiled, this time with a note of real happiness, as he took the box. “It’s Cyrus’ birthday today...not mine.”
“But it was just a few days ago, was it not? I called that day, but I waited until now to bring you something.” Ville explained.
“Still doesn’t seem fair.”
Ville smiled, “You can make it up to me later.”
Bam leaned in and kissed Ville, “I will... and thank you... for the present” He opened the box to find a single cup cake in it. He knew it would be chocolate, since that was his favorite. It was covered in a layer of dark purple frosting, pushed inside of it, was a familiar object. “Ville...” Bam whispered.
Ville touched the side of the skater’s face, leaning in to brush his lips against the American’s, before nipping at his bottom lip. “I’m not the only one who decided to get sober a year ago...”
A tear ran down his cheek as Bam pulled the medallion from the frosting, licking the creamy substance away from the metal surface. Like Ville’s, the front of the coin had a heartagram, instead of the normal triangle, teddy bear, or other object that came on these AA anniversary celebration medallions. Bam’s was different from Ville’s since it had a thin coating of black, that shimmered with purple and turquoise when it was tilted left or right.
Bam put the box down and flipped the coin over, reading the back twice before he looked to Ville again. I put my hand in yours, and we did, what I couldn’t do alone. “It’s about us...” He said softly.
“Or how our son’s helped us change our lives.” Ville put in.
Bam nodded, “I love you...” He turned and kissed Ville lovingly.
“Ville pulled Bam close and returned the kiss. “I love you too.”
“So how long do I have you for?” Bam asked softly.
“As hour...at most.”
Bam nodded, “Better than nothing.”
“I wish I could do more.... and I think I know how I could.” Ville said, smiling at Bam.
“What’s that?” Bam asked, as Ville lead him into the next room.
Ville stopped next to the stereo and lowered the volume after turning it on. He flipped through the CD’s until he found one of April’s soft, romantic, music selections. After he picked a song, he pulled Bam close and started dancing with Bam.
Bam smiled as rested his cheek against Ville’s shoulder, amazed that he was not just doing something like this, but enjoying it. “Do you really have to go?”
Bam’s gently asked question made Ville look at him, just as the singer was belting out a heart wrenching confession of his undying devotion to a nameless woman in his life. “Well... I don’t have to rush away from here.” Ville whispered back, kissing Bam gently.
“That’s good to know... it has been six months since I’ve last seen you.” Bam said, deepening the kiss, pulling Ville closer.
“Is that a request for me to spend the night?” Ville asked against Bam’s lips.
“If it isn’t too much of a problem....” Bam said with a silly smile, turning the steoro off. “After all... I know you’re a busy man...”
Ville chuckled, “Never too busy for you.”
***
Bam sighed happily when he heard his phone ring.... that was until he realized it wasn’t his phone.... and Ville was swearing as he stumbled from the bed. “What’s wrong....?”
“I’m sorry...” Ville was saying in Finnish as he stumbled back into his clothes. “I know...I know... I’ll be there in a few minutes... I swear...”
Bam looked around and realized it was dawn. As if on cue, Cyrus started crying from his nursery. He stumbled from the bed, pulled pants on and ran from the room and down to where his son was. He scooped his son out of the crib and carried him down to his bedroom as Ville came out of it.
“I’m sorry....I have to go.” Ville was saying, pausing when he saw Cyrus. He smiled at the little boy, who was rubbing his eyes. “My God.... he’s changed so much.” He reached out and touched the boy’s flushed cheek, followed by his dirty blond, wavy, hair.
Bam smiled, “Stayed later than you meant too?”
Ville nodded, leaning in to kiss Bam. “Alexsi woke up and realized I was gone.”
“Awww...poor little guy.”
“I have to rush back to the bus, before Mige comes here and kicks the crap out of me, and then drags me away.” Ville’s mild humor made Bam chuckle. “I’ll see you soon.”
`“I can’t wait.” Bam said, stealing two more kisses as Ville pulled his jacket on.
After kissing Cyrus on the cheek, Ville blew Bam another kiss and headed down the hall in a hurry.
***
“Thank God you’re back.” Linde said as Ville stumbled onto the tour bus.
“Look who's here.” Gas said in an enthusiastic manner, indicating to Ville. It caused Alexsi to look at the door.
“Papa!” Alexsi cried, the 18-month old was terribly attached to his father and had been freaked out when he couldn’t find him. He attempted to run over to his father, but since he was still mastering his ability to walk, he fell down. Normally, this wouldn’t have stopped him. He would have just pulled himself back up and continued to walk, or at least try too. But he was too upset for that, so he crawled as quickly as he could over to Ville.
“My poor little Alexsi.” Ville said, crouching down so he scoop Alexsi up. The little boy rested his head on Ville’s shoulder, moving his fingers near his mouth as he continued crying, which made him make a funny noise. “It’s alright.” Ville said gently, rubbing his son’s back. “I’m really sorry... I fell asleep...”
“Sure you did.” Burton said as he crawled into his bunk.
Ville frowned, “What?”
“Dude...if you wanted to go out...for a little adult fun...it’s cool.” Mige said.
Ville looked between his friends and band mates. “What are you talking about?”
“Tell your girlfriend to either be more gentle next time...or aim lower.” Mige teased, indicating to his neck.
Ville’s eyes went wide as he touched the side of his neck that Mige had pointed out. He moved through the bus and looked at the first mirror he could find.
“Uh-oh papa...” Alexsi said, indicating to the “bruise” on his father’s neck. “Boo-boo.”
“Umm... yeah.... boo-boo.” Ville said, adjusting the way he was holding his son. “Would you like your sippy cup?”
Alexsi nodded, rubbing his eyes and flushed, tear soaked, cheeks. “Sippy.” He leaned against his father’s chest as he was carried back into “kitchen” area of the bus. “Boo-boo...” he reminded once there, pointing the spot out again, causing the other adults to chuckle.
“Yes... boo-boo Alexsi... thank you.” Ville said, batting his son’s hand away before pulling out his prized sippy cup. It was purple and aluminum, with seal lions on it, dressed like circus performers. He only put a sip or two in it, making sure the water was cool since the metal of the container would make sure it stayed that way longer than a normal cup would.
Alexsi bounced up and down, getting excited as he reached out for his cup. “Sippy...sippy....sippy....”
“He you go.” Ville said, handing the cup over to his son. He rocked the almost toddler as he sucked the water down. “Now you need to go back to sleep...it’s way to early for you to be awake.”
“No.” Alexsi mumbled, rubbing his eye again, holding the empty cup as tightly as he could manage.
“I’m happy for you Ville.” Gas said, following Ville back to his bunk.
Ville carefully crawled into his bunk, laying on his back so Alexsi could sit on his stomach. “About what?”
“Finding someone....”
Ville felt that moment of panic return, trying not to look at the drummer for too long. “Who says I found anyone...?” He asked carefully, putting his hands near his son’s sides, so the little boy wouldn’t accidentally fall off.
Gas smiled, “How long have we known each other? I know what it’s like when you get excited about something...or someone... and you were practically on pins and needles to see whoever you sneak off to see.”
Ville looked at Alexsi who was was wiggling up his chest more. He couldn’t deny what Gas was saying, and his silence showed that.
“Next time... don’t worry about lying about where you’re going. I’ll watch Alexsi for you.” Gas said, reaching out to run his hand over the little boy’s head.
Ville smiled, “Thank you...thank God at least someone likes kids.”
“I like kids....” Linde commented from his bunk. “Just not when they are little... and screaming for their parent who has vanished.... this early in the morning.”
Ville chuckled, “I’ll make it up to you.”
“How did you have a kid?” Burton asked, peeking at Linde.
“Like you did.” Linde murmured.
“No seriously...” Burton started, just to get stopped by Mige.
“He’s right... you did have kids the same way... just like Gas... you got girlfriends to have and take care of kids for you.”
“It’s the only way to do it.” Linde commented.
“You’re a sour puss.” Gas commented, smiling at Alexsi who was looking up at him. “Kids are great.”
“They don’t belong on tour.” Linde asserted, rolling so his back was to them, since putting his arm over his eyes wasn’t a big enough hint that he was trying to sleep.
“You know if I had a choice...” Ville started, but Burton stopped him.
“It’s alright.... no one minds Alexsi being here.” Burton frowned when Linde snorted, as if to object to that statement. “We understand that you don’t have anyone to watch him for you.”
“I do...it’s just... complicated.” Ville mumbled, rubbing his son’s back again.
“When is Jonna taking him again?” Mige asked.
Ville shrugged, “She is more interested in the next time she can spend time with me.”
“Go for it... get at least a little something out of the deal.” Mige said.
Ville frowned, “I couldn’t do that.”
“Why? Because you have principals now?” Burton asked.
Because it would break Bammie’s heart.... Ville thought to himself. “Jonna doesn’t deserve it.” He answered softly.
“Or maybe he is afraid of offending his new girlfriend?” Burton teased, causing the other guys to chuckle.
“I don’t have a new girlfriend...” Ville asserted in as serious a tone as he could manage.
“Well...whatever she is...” Burton said, settling in his own bunk, “Bring her around sometime... I can’t wait to meet her. One of us should be able to have unattached sex....”
The rest of Burton’s sentence drifted away into the back of his consciousness, as Ville thought instead of Bam. Seeing the younger man, was about so much more than sex...it was about a love that seemed to reach way down deep into his soul.
He looked to Alexsi, who was playing with his medallion. He reached out and touched the little boy’s cheek, “How different... would my life be... if you were not here?” He whispered, moving Alexsi so he could lay down with him, knowing he would have to eventually move his son to his crib before he fell asleep.
“How different would both of our lives be... if we had the freedom to...”
***
“For someone who has been....”falling asleep” a lot... you sure are tired all of the time.” Mige teased, waking Ville up.
Ville drew in a deep breath and cracked his eyes opened. Truthfully, he had managed to sneak back to where Bam was staying, when their paths happened to cross; the handful of times since Cyrus’ birthday that it had happened. He was tired partly from the non-sleep he was doing with Bam, on top of staying busy with Alexsi and the band, but also because he wasn’t sleeping well.
He rubbed his face and sighed. The closer it got to Alexsi’s birthday, the more he realized he knew he had a decision to make.
No sooner did he try to get up, but he was walking funny, since he had Alexsi clinging to his leg. He smiled at the little boy, knowing that he might as well enjoy the attention while he could have it.
He managed to get over to the fridge and opened the door.
Alexsi’s eyes went wide, when he saw where his father was going. “Sippy!” He bounced up and down before he tried pressing himself into the fridge in search of his favorite cup.
Ville smiled and then looked to the back of the bus, “When was the last time he had his sippy?”
“Ask Gas...” Linde said, not looking from his guitar.
Gas sighed and leaned forward, “It’s been a while.”
“Sippy...papa...” Alexsi said, pulling on his father’s shirt before he started hanging from it. “Pwease.”
“Alright... alright...” He scooped his son up and propped him on his hip. “Would you like some milk?”
“No.” Alexsi said, pointing to the milk jug.
Ville chuckled and pulled the milk from the fridge, pouring some into the purple seal sippy cup. He waited until it was about a 1/3 full, before he screwed the cap back on and handed it to his son.
Alexsi squealed happily, taking the sippy cup from his father. “Down...” Alexsi said, indicating to the floor.
“What do you say?” Ville asked.
“Umm... Wel-com?” Alexsi offered, making his father laugh.
“Close...Thank you....” Ville reminded.
“Okay.” Alexsi agreed, returning to his efforts to return to the floor. “Down.”
Ville chuckled and put his son on the floor, watching as the little boy toddled off. “Watch out... he has his sippy.”
“Watch the kid Gas.” Linde said, as he continued to tune his new guitar.
Gas sighed and then smiled at the little boy who was trying to crawl onto the couch. “Be careful with that cup of yours.”
“No.” Alexsi asserted, refusing help until he realized he really couldn’t do it alone. “Up Gas...”
Gas, along with Mige and Burton, chuckled at the little boy.
No sooner had Alexsi reached his desired destination next to the drummer, but there was a loud, “Uh-oh!”
“Just think... Jonna misses out on these precious moments.” Linde said sarcastically, getting up from his chair.
It was only when the blond didn’t return, that Burton sighed and got up himself to help clean up the mess. “He really shouldn’t be allowed near anyone under the age of ten.”
Gas chuckled, “I do recall him being a bit of a softy for a little blond with the same last name as him.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Linde grumbled as he squeezed past Ville.
“Jonna called... she is still pressing to spend Alexsi’ birthday with you both.” Burton mentioned, looking through the corner of his eyes to the singer, who sighed.
“Man she wants to get back together with you so bad.” Mige groaned. “Just give in....”
Ville frowned and shook his head, cutting into his friend’s statement, “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? So you stopped partying... that doesn’t mean you can’t give her a second chance.” Burton put in. “Or at least give her a call...”
Ville watched from the doorway, knowing what he had to do. “You’re right...I need to make a call... she deserves it.”
“You’re going to call her?” Mige asked with a hopefully smile.
Without answering his friends question, Ville grabbed the cordless phone and went back to the front of the bus, dialing a number without thinking about it. “Hello.... can I talk to Jonna?”
There was a paused followed by....
“Hello...Jonna... we need to talk...” Ville said.
***
Ville slipped out of his seat, adjusting his diaper bag, before he reach in to get Alexsi out. He balanced the cranky toddler on his stomach, as best as he could, so he could adjust his hat. It was snowing lightly, and he didn’t want the little boy to get a cold. “I know... you’re not used to coming here.... but I hope you understand... I’m doing this for you.”
He waved to the cabbie and grabbed his bag and walked up to the house. He kicked the door since he couldn’t knock. “Sometimes it’s not easy to be an adult... sometimes... you have to make sacrifices...” He was telling Alexsi, who was quickly getting tired of being held. He wanted down and he wanted that to happen now.
Ville’s attention was drawn to the door when it opened, smiling at the woman that answered it. “Hello.”
After being greeted the woman in front of him, he put his bag down. Before putting Alexsi down, he added, “I’m sure you’ll be able to be just as happy here, as you would have been with....”
***With whom?! Find out in the next chapter***
;P
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