drunkonhim
in
__vam
sorry this took so long: CRUSH ending
CRUSH
Pairing: VAM, Alexi/Ville, Lauri/Bam
Summary: What happens when an innocent crush turns into an obsession?
Disclaimer: if i owned anyone mentioned, i wouldnt waste time with fanfics
Previous chapter:
chapter 27
Chapter 28
Ville (POV)
I don’t know how long I’ve been at this fucking hospital. I just know that one minute in this horrible place is too much for me. Something about the bland white walls and the horrible smell of antiseptics just crawls under my skin and irks me. I just hope that we won’t have to be for too much longer. I just thank God that the police got there in time.
I was so scared that that was the end. The look of insanity in Alexi’s eyes is something that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. He really and truly wanted to kill Bam. It wasn’t just his crazy talk; he had actually put a bullet into my lover. He would’ve killed him, he had his gun raised and ready to shoot, but thankfully the police had broken through the door just in time. Before Alexi could pull the trigger, the police shot his shoulder, causing him to drop the gun. Oh God…there was blood everywhere, some had even spattered onto my face. There was just so much blood…
Even after he was shot though, Alexi had struggled. He screamed violently for me when they were placing him in the ambulance. He kept crying “Don’t touch him!” and “He’s mine” over and over again. The paramedics were forced to subdue him before they even left the house. I was so scared. I was so terrified that somehow Alexi would escape and come after me. Or worse…he would come after Bam. I don’t think I could handle coming that close to losing my lover again. Even watching him sleeping in this hospital is killing me.
Sighing, I take his hand in mine and give it a good squeeze. The poor darling had just gotten out of surgery. The bullet that from Alexi’s gun had lodged into Bam’s foot, just below his ankle. The doctors were able to remove it, but he won’t be able to get back onto his skateboard for a while. He’ll probably have to have some physical therapy, but I know he’ll get through it. Bam is the most stubborn ass I’ve ever met after all, if he puts his mind to something, he’ll see it all the way through.
My ears twitch as I hear the soft sound of my name on Bam’s lips. My gaze moves from our hands to Bam’s face, where his lips were slightly parted and his eyes were beginning to twitch open. A small tear slipped from my eyes as I gave my first genuine smile in days.
“That’s right darling,” I whispered. “Open your eyes.”
Bam’s eyes twitched for a few more moments before he finally found the strength to open them. Once he seemed to have his vision focused, he turned his head slowly to face me. A small smirk played on the corner of his lips once he set eyes on me. Squeezing his hand tightly, I brought it up to my lips, placing a firm kiss on the appendage.
“Hey there,” his soft voice rasps out.
“Hello yourself kulta,” I smiled.
“How long have I been out?”
“Almost two days,” I answered. “You had surgery on your foot to remove the bullet. You’ve been asleep ever since. I suppose you needed the rest.”
“Yeah…” he yawns, agreeing. “I did. Before all of …that happened, I drove for almost a full day from Scarsdale.”
“Scarsdale?” I raise my eyebrow inquisitively. “What were you doing there?”
“It’s a long story,” he sighs. “I’ll tell you about it later. How are you feeling? Are your feet ok?”
“I’m…alright, for now my love,” I sigh, looking downward. “The burns in my feet weren’t too horrible. They’ll leave scars, but right now, I just have to stay off of my feet for a few days.”
“Well, at least that’ll heal up soon. And then you can devote all of your time to being my sexy nurse,” he says. I can’t help but smirk at the suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. Always the naughty one…
“Um…do April and Phil know about what happened?”
“Yeah…they’re downstairs getting some coffee right now. They’re…not too happy with me right now.”
“Why?” Bam asks, raising up on his elbow. “What happened wasn’t your fault. They have no right to be angry with you.”
“Don’t they?” I sigh, feeling the tears coming on again.
“Ville…what are you saying?”
“Isn’t this all of my fault? I was attacked and you were nearly killed all because my damn pride couldn’t see the truth. Even when you were screaming it in my face…I couldn’t see it…”
“Ville,” Bam says firmly, gripping my chin and forcing me to look in his eyes. “None of this is your fault ok? None of this. Its all Alexi’s fault. He’s the one who went insane. Ok? Let me hear you say it.”
“N…none of this…was my fault…” I say lowly.
“Say it again,” Bam demands.
“N-none of this was my fault. I…it was Alexi’s fault.”
“That’s my baby,” Bam smiles. I return the warm gesture and lean into him, sweetly brushing our lips together.
“I love you Ville,” Bam whispers, his fingers lightly stroking my cheek.
“I love you too Bammie,” I whisper back, pressing my lips gently to his forehead.
My lips move from his forehead, to his temple, down to the tip of his nose, until finally they’re where they belong, connected to his lips. Our kiss was gentle at first, a chaste peck. Soon enough though, our lips were parting and Bam’s dry tongue entered my moist cavern. The moment our tongues touched, I felt that old fire being lit inside of me. I loved Bam’s kisses. The way his tongue would intertwine with my own before it began its exploration of my mouth. Each kiss was like our first, as if it were the first time we’ve tasted each other. I tilt my head slightly and our embrace deepens. Placing my hand on the back of his neck, I pull him closer, as if I were trying to devour him completely.
“Brandon!” April’s shrill voice causes me to freeze during my actions. I pull my lips away from Bam’s, much to his groans of protest, and I take my hands back, letting him fall back to the bed.
“Hi mom,” Bam groans.
“Oh my God!” She shrieks, rushing over to her son and taking him in her arms. “Thank God you’re ok! My poor baby!”
“Relax Ape,” Bam sighs, trying to wiggle out of her arms. “It was just my foot, I’m fine.”
“You are not fine Bam!” April exclaims, on the verge of tears. “You could have been killed!”
“April, honey,” Phil says from the doorway. “Let him go, he needs to rest.”
April nods her head and, after giving Bam one final squeeze, places him gently down on the bed. “Brandon, honey, I’m just so glad that you’re alright.”
“Yeah,” Phil agrees, placing his hand on Bam’s. “You gave us quite a scare there son. When the doctors called, saying that you’d been shot…I didn’t know what to think…” There was a small glistening in Phil’s eyes, signaling that he was on the verge of tears. Bam saw this and gently squeezed Phil’s hand.
“Hey…come on fat man, I’ve been through worse…”
“I just can’t believe you let yourself get involved in this,” April says in frustration, glaring at me.
“I…I…” I start, but April cuts me off.
“I mean, just one look at that boy and you should have known that he was a troubled kid. How could you invite him into your home like that!?”
“Ape!” Bam shouts. “Lay off of him!”
“No! I will not!” April shouts right back. “Brandon, you almost died! I’m not going to just sit back and accept that when something could have been done to prevent it.”
“April!” Phil growled, taking everyone by surprise. “That’s enough! Now they’ve both been through a lot, Ville perhaps more so than Bam. The last thing they need is someone scolding them like toddlers.”
Bam and I exchanged a shocked glance as we watched the scene unfold before us. I’ve never really seen Phil angry before. Sure, Bam has told me some stories, but for the most part, Phil was an easy-going person. To see him explode like that…its like watching a train-wreck. Its horrible and scary, but you can’t turn away. April seems just as shocked as we are. Her eyes briefly go wide before her features soften once more and she gives a small nod.
“Y-you’re right,” she concedes. “I’m sorry Ville. I shouldn’t be taking my anger out on you. You were in as much danger as Bam…please forgive me sweetheart.”
I don’t say anything to her at the moment. I’m not sure if I’m ready to forgive her yet. Instead, I just lower my eyes and nod my head. That must be enough for her though, because she walks over to me and places her hand on my shoulder. I don’t try to move it though, she’s trying after all. Bam must have noticed my uneasiness though. He gave me an apologetic smile and lightly stroked my hand.
“Mom, Dad?” Bam called. “Can you give Ville and I a moment alone?”
April looked as if she was about to protest, but one looked from Phil quashed that. Phil gave Bam an understanding look and lead his wife quietly out of the room.
“Thanks,” I laugh.
“Its no problem. She didn’t need to fly off of the handle like that. Like I said before, none of this was your fault.”
Smiling to my lover, I tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear and place another small kiss to his lips. Bam scoots over on the bed and pats the spot next to him. Grinning, I take the hint and, as gingerly as I can, I lay down next to him on the small bed. Once we’re both positioned comfortably, Bam wraps his arm over my chest and snuggles into my neck. Instinctively, I wrap an arm around his shoulder and place a small kiss to his temple. This was nice…I always did like just lying in bed and holding Bam like this.
“What happened to Lauri?” Bam asks after a moment of silence.
“Hmm?”
“Lauri…I was just wondering if he was ok. I mean…I know that this is partially his fault, but he’s still a good guy. He did try to help.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “If it weren’t for him…for what he did…Alexi would have…” My breathing became too shaky for me to continue that sentence. I couldn’t think about that right now. Instead, I took a deep breath and started again. “Um…they’re still trying to track down his parents, but from what the doctors told me, he made it through surgery. The bullet hit his spine. They said that he’ll probably be paralyzed from the waist down.”
“Poor kid,” Bam says sadly. “I hope Alexi gets killed in prison.”
“Shhh…my love,” I whisper. “Lets not talk about him.”
“I know…but I’m just so angry! I mean…he hurt you! I should have been there to protect you! Whatever Alexi gets will be too good for him.”
“Darling…I really don’t want to talk about him right now.”
“I’m sorry,” Bam whispers, giving me a peck on the cheek. “J-just…do you think the police will be able to convict him, without you having to testify?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “Maybe…Alexi and Lauri had set up some…video equipment in the apartment without our knowledge. The tapes have what he did to me on it, plus all of the footage that they put on the school website. Hopefully, they’ll be able to make a deal with him.”
“Yeah…” Bam nodded. “H-have you thought about what you’re going to do now? I mean, are you going to try to get your job back at the school? I’m sure that they’ll understand what happened…”
“No!” I cut him off. “No…even after all of this…I don’t think I could go back there.”
“So another teaching job then?”
I didn’t want Bam to know this, but I was wary on the whole idea of going back to any school. I know some people have probably been through this before and come out strong, unwilling to let their fears conquer them, but I don’t think I could be that kind of person. I couldn’t go back into the classroom, knowing that they all know what happened to me. I don’t want to look suspiciously around the room and wonder if any of the others would snap like Alexi. No…I want nothing to do with that. Perhaps its time that I reunite with my old passion…I do miss performing after all.
“Actually, love,” I smile. “I’ve been talking to Linde and he says that things aren’t working out with their drummer right now. Perhaps I can convince him to let me play.”
“Really?” Bam asks. “So you would be ‘Mr. Big Rockstar’?”
“Yes, and you could be ‘Mrs. Big Rockstar’,” I laugh.
“I like the sound of that,” Bam smiles, pressing his body closer to mine. “But of course, you’re going to have to be the wife.”
“Oh really?” I laugh. “And why is that?”
“Well, you’re prettier than me for starters. Plus, you’re going to be Momma to our kids someday. Kids can’t have two Mommas.”
“Oh, we’re going to have kids now?” I ask, amused by Bam’s fantasy.
“Yep, a boy and a girl. Bammie and Willa Jr. They’ll look just like us and follow in our footsteps. But I want them to have your eyes though.”
“Why? You’re eyes are so much more beautiful darling.”
“Not like yours though. Besides, this is my fantasy so I decide the eye color,” he says mater-of-factly.
“Fair enough then, love,” I laugh. “I love you Bam.”
“I love you too Willa….Will you marry me?”
Bam’s question caused my eyes to spring wide open and nearly caused me to fall off of the bed. Did he just ask me to marry him?
“W…what?” I ask nervously.
“You heard me,” Bam smirks. “I want you to marry me. And I won’t take no for an answer.”
His words make me think of when we first met and how relentless he was to go out with me. Did I really want to put myself through that kind of torture again? I love Bam so much…but am I ready to be married?
“Ville,” Bam says my name softly, his hand gently cupping my cheek. “I love you more than life. This whole experience has made me realize that I would die if anything happened to you or if I ever lost you again. I want to be with you forever Ville. I want to make you mine forever and start a life with you. So please, Ville, marry me?”
My eyes drift over to an empty space as I let Bam’s words sink in. The truth is, I’d die if I ever lost Bam again as well. Bammie is the love of my life, I don’t think I could live without his love for even a day, let alone the rest of my life.
“Gay marriages aren’t legal in this state…” I tell him.
“I don’t give a fuck!” Bam says. “We’ll go some place where it is. And even though it makes me sad, I don’t care if everyone else doesn’t recognize it, I’ll know that you’re my husband. That’s all that matters. Please marry me, Ville?”
With a tear in my eye, I take Bam’s handsome face in my hands and bring him close to me, our lips mere inches apart. Looking deep into his eyes, I close the space between us placing a firm, but loving kiss on his already swollen lips. Bam kisses me back for a moment, but then he places his hand on my chest and lightly pushes me away.
“Hey,” he laughs. “Don’t try to change the subject. Will you marry me?”
“Of course I will darling,” I say, letting that stray tear fall. “Of course I will.”
Those words are all that Bam needs before he launches himself onto me, his lips completely covering mine in a possessive, hungry kiss. I love him so damn much…
Alexi (POV)
God I hate this place. How long do I have to be here anyway? The doctors said that it would be until I’m “cured”. Since when is love a disease? Besides, I doubt that there’s any medication or treatment on earth that can cure me of my love for Ville. Well, if loving Ville is what got me here, then I suppose I’m going to be locked away for a long time. Better get used to the white scrubs and the smell of disinfectant.
Things had gone from bad to worse very quickly in these past few months. First off, right as I was finally about to destroy Bam, the cops came in and shot me in the fucking shoulder. To make matters worse, they took Ville from me, they wouldn’t let him see if I was ok. Poor thing must’ve been so worried about me.
Everything after that was just a crazy blur. I was arrested, of course. My lawyer had tried to get me to take a plea bargain where I would get fifteen to twenty years for the assault of Ville and the attempted murder of Bam and Lauri. I wouldn’t take it though. I didn’t “assault” Ville, he wanted it, and I certainly didn’t try to kill Lauri. The bastard shouldn’t have tried to be a hero. I mean…I’m sorry that he got hurt, but he should have just minded his own business.
Anyway, my lawyer decided to try to get me off on reasons of mental disease or defect. I hadn’t wanted to do it at first, but my mother begged and pleaded with me to at least try it. She couldn’t stand the thought of me going to jail and possibly being killed. I’m all that she has left after all. So, I swallowed my pride and allowed my lawyer to go along with that strange defense. I must have fooled the shrinks though, because all of the ones I had to speak to agreed that I suffered from delusions about my relationship with Ville. Psh…they just don’t understand what he and I had.
The trial went by quicker than I expected. The psychiatrists that my lawyer hired had explained to the jury that, due to a lack of a father-figure in my life, I had an attraction to older men, which lead to my unhealthy obsessions. They said that while what I did was wrong, I shouldn’t be held responsible for having little self-control. Then they got my mother up on the stand so she could cry her eyes out and try to convince everyone that I had always been such a good kid and that she couldn’t believe it when this happen. It was the same old shit she said to the cops in Finland.
The prosecution’s witnesses were a bit more fun for me. Mostly because their two main witnesses were Ville and my old flame Eicca. It was nice to see the blonde beauty after so long. He must have been happy to see me too, he had tears in his eyes after all. They found him hiding out in a nice suburb in New York and subpoenaed him for the trial. The poor little thing was shaking like a leaf throughout his whole testimony. It did bring a smile to my face though to hear about all of our old times together. He told of our courtship, the first time we made love, and the poor accident that he had which caused him to have such terrible nerve damage in his hand. My beautiful, blonde cellist…seeing him again made me think of all the reasons that I fell in love with him. Those perfect, golden locks, his piercing sapphire eyes and those full lips, all amazing features of his. What I loved most about him though was his smile. He looks as if he doesn’t smile much anymore, but I was able to catch a glimpse of it once he was through with his testimony and he smiled to his sister. His smile could always brighten up a room.
Nothing made me happier though than when I got to see my Ville again. I had spent weeks in a holding cell during the trial, so I wasn’t able to see him. He looked so beautiful, dressed so dapper for court. He hadn’t worn his signature eyeliner this time, but that didn’t stop his jade eyes from glowing across from the room. Even some of the jurors couldn’t help but stare in awe at his beauty. Their lustful stares made me want to gouge their eyes out though. No one should be looking at what is mine. They asked Ville all sorts of questions about me like, “What kind of student was I?” “Did I always seem like a disturbed individual?” “Was there any kind of relationship between us that wasn’t platonic?” Ville had told them that I seemed sweet at first, that I was a good friend. Then he started saying horrible lies about how he never loved me back and that I frightened him. How could he lie on the stand like that? He loves me, he told me himself!
My lawyer had done a number on him though. He brought up that day when he, Bam, Lauri and I were at the mall, and how Ville and I casually flirted while shopping at the Hot Topic. He told about how I had been invited into Ville’s home several times before that horrible day, and how friendly Ville always was with me at school. Now would somebody be so friendly with someone who they thought was disturbed? My lawyer also brought up the fact of Bam’s age, and how he seemed to like younger males. Ville had nearly broken sobbing as he tried to explain that Bam was the only person he ever dated that was younger than him, but my lawyer wouldn’t let him get that far. Then came the issue of the tapes. Lauri had been smart enough to delete the older tapes of Bam and Ville together once we were done with them. The only one that the police could recover was the one with myself and Ville. My lawyer had played it for the court, showing that at no point did Ville show any resistance. The prosecution tried to explain that Ville was intoxicated, but they weren’t able to prove it.
Before the jury was allowed to deliberate on the evidence, the prosecution caved in, striking a deal with my lawyer. Honestly, I thought that I had a good chance of getting off, but my lawyer and my mom didn’t want me to take the risk. Apparently, some of the jurors had been giving me nasty looks when I wasn’t aware. Whatever though, as long as I didn’t have to go to jail, I didn’t care what people thought about me.
Now that I’m actually stuck in this asylum though, having to deal with the jerk orderlies and the crappy isolation rooms, I kind of wish that I had just seen the trial through. Hell, even if I went to prison, I would have been able to earn some respect there. Here, everyone is out of their fucking mind, lost in their own little world while the doctors just pass out medication and pretend that they’re listening to you. If I wasn’t insane before, then I most likely will be by the time I get out of here.
It’ll be worth it soon though. All I have to do is lie and tell the doctors what they want to hear, and they’ll let me out soon enough. I’m sure Ville will be happy to see me once I am released. Poor thing is probably missing me enough as it is. Pity that he hasn’t been able to find the time to visit yet. So far, the only people who come to see me are my mother and, surprisingly, Lauri. His visits always make me feel guilty though. He’s in a wheelchair now, his legs being fully paralyzed. For some reason though, he remains my friend. He visits me once a week and remains optimistic about his current state. He says that as long as his penis remains functional, which somehow it does, then he’s not too angry with me. Its good to know that I can count on him, he’s a good friend. Strange though, I always thought that it would be me visiting him in one of these places.
“Wake up Blondie, quit daydreaming,” an annoying, familiar voice breaks my thoughts.
Looking up, I groan when I realize that its one of the orderlies that I despise, Derrick. The skinny punk looked to be about in his mid-twenties, but acted like an infant. He’s made a game of harassing the patients here, teasing them, stealing their things, and often touching them inappropriately, knowing that no one will believe a bunch of lunatics. Since I’ve come here, he’s started paying more attention to me than any of the others. I suppose he thinks of me as a challenge; maybe he just wants to see how long it will take for me to snap. Who knows? I try not to pay him too much attention though, I don’t want to end up back in the isolation room. No room should be that soft and bouncy.
“I said wake up,” he shouts in an irritated tone. “On your feet, you’re getting a new roommate today.”
“A roommate?” I ask, raising my eyebrow. “I thought I was too dangerous to have anyone stay with me.”
“Well, either you’re getting better, or we’re running out of room. Either way, I don’t want to hear you complain. You’re getting a new friend today, so just deal with it.”
I let out a low growl and send him an evil glare. He just gives a smug smirk of superiority and folds his arms. I swear, the second I get out of here, I will kill him.
“Oh come on, Blondie,” he says. “Its not all bad. He’s from Sweden too, so now you’ll have a little friend with your own secret language.”
“I’m from Finland, you dumbass,” I tell him.
“Whatever, it all sounds like gibberish to me. Oh!” He says, poking his head out the doorway, looking down the hall. “Here he comes now. And my! He’s pretty.”
I say nothing. Instead I roll my eyes and focus instead on the sketchbook in my lap. I was in the middle of a great drawing session before he came in and started being an ass. It was a pretty lovely portrait of what I can remember of that night with Ville. He was sitting in my lap, his head thrown back as my lips were connected to his neck. It was coming out quite nicely, I must say.
“Alexi?” A new voice enters my ears. Looking up, I see my psychiatrist here, Dr. Anderson. He was a sweet older man, but he tended to drift off during our sessions together. Honestly, I could tell him that I’m going to jump over the moon on a cow named Daisy, and he won’t even flinch.
“Alexi, since your doing so well in your therapy and since we’re getting low on space here, we’ve decided to give you a roommate. Do you think you can handle this?” He asks slowly. What the hell? Does he think that a new face is going to send me into a fit of hysterics?
“Yeah…” I tell him, nodding.
“Good, then I would like you to meet your new roommate, Eric Bäckman.”
The doctor side-steps to reveal a young, very thin boy, perhaps sixteen years-old. My eyes go wide at the sight of him though. The boy is, for lack of a better word, stunning. He had very sharp, angular features, ice-blue eyes, and full, wide lips that spread into a devilish grin. His raven hair looked as if it was defying gravity with all of the angles it was poking out into. His lovely eyes were lined with dark kohl and even darker eye-shadow and his cheeks were faintly covered in glittered. For some reason, he reminded me of a gothic Kate Moss. He was attractive, yes. But he seemed the kind of person who knew that he was beautiful, and liked to use it to his advantage.
“What a treat!” The boy smiles, clapping his hands together and causing his tight shirt to raise slightly. “He’s much prettier than my last roommate.”
His compliment makes me blush, so I just turn back to my sketchbook.
“Well,” Dr. Anderson sighs. “I’ll let you two get to know each other and I’ll come back to check on you later.”
With that, the old man and Derrick leave the room, closing the door tightly behind them. The next few moments are filled with awkward tension as Eric just stands there, and I make no attempt to acknowledge him. After a few more moments of silence, the boy finally bounces his way over to me and jumps on my bed, causing the book to fall out of my lap.
“What are you doing?” He asks, resting his head in his hands.
“I’m trying to draw,” I answer.
“Oh, that’s cool,” he says. “What’s your name?”
“Alexi,” I say shortly, returning my attention to my drawing.
“Nice to meet you Alexi. I’m Eric, but you can call me Cat.” He smiles, thrusting his hand forward.
“Why would I call you Cat?” I ask, wearily taking his hand.
“Cause I’m pretty like a kitty,” he laughs, then lays himself out on his back next to me. “I also like it when people scratch my belly,” he smiles.
“Really know?” I say, trying to fight off a smirk.
“Oh yeah, I love it….Do you wanna scratch my belly and make me purr?” He asks with a small glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Maybe later,” I smile. “What else makes you purr?” I ask, feeling bold for some reason.
Cat just smirks and arches his back, stretching like the animal who he is emulating. “You can find that out tonight pretty boy,” he smiles.
Hey, maybe this place won’t be so bad after all….
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the boy mention is Eric Bäckman or "Cat Casino", guitarist for Swedish Death/Glam metal band, Deathstars. he's pretty, but he seems the cocky type.
and one more just cause its fun ^^ :
comments are love ^^
Pairing: VAM, Alexi/Ville, Lauri/Bam
Summary: What happens when an innocent crush turns into an obsession?
Disclaimer: if i owned anyone mentioned, i wouldnt waste time with fanfics
Previous chapter:
chapter 27
Chapter 28
Ville (POV)
I don’t know how long I’ve been at this fucking hospital. I just know that one minute in this horrible place is too much for me. Something about the bland white walls and the horrible smell of antiseptics just crawls under my skin and irks me. I just hope that we won’t have to be for too much longer. I just thank God that the police got there in time.
I was so scared that that was the end. The look of insanity in Alexi’s eyes is something that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. He really and truly wanted to kill Bam. It wasn’t just his crazy talk; he had actually put a bullet into my lover. He would’ve killed him, he had his gun raised and ready to shoot, but thankfully the police had broken through the door just in time. Before Alexi could pull the trigger, the police shot his shoulder, causing him to drop the gun. Oh God…there was blood everywhere, some had even spattered onto my face. There was just so much blood…
Even after he was shot though, Alexi had struggled. He screamed violently for me when they were placing him in the ambulance. He kept crying “Don’t touch him!” and “He’s mine” over and over again. The paramedics were forced to subdue him before they even left the house. I was so scared. I was so terrified that somehow Alexi would escape and come after me. Or worse…he would come after Bam. I don’t think I could handle coming that close to losing my lover again. Even watching him sleeping in this hospital is killing me.
Sighing, I take his hand in mine and give it a good squeeze. The poor darling had just gotten out of surgery. The bullet that from Alexi’s gun had lodged into Bam’s foot, just below his ankle. The doctors were able to remove it, but he won’t be able to get back onto his skateboard for a while. He’ll probably have to have some physical therapy, but I know he’ll get through it. Bam is the most stubborn ass I’ve ever met after all, if he puts his mind to something, he’ll see it all the way through.
My ears twitch as I hear the soft sound of my name on Bam’s lips. My gaze moves from our hands to Bam’s face, where his lips were slightly parted and his eyes were beginning to twitch open. A small tear slipped from my eyes as I gave my first genuine smile in days.
“That’s right darling,” I whispered. “Open your eyes.”
Bam’s eyes twitched for a few more moments before he finally found the strength to open them. Once he seemed to have his vision focused, he turned his head slowly to face me. A small smirk played on the corner of his lips once he set eyes on me. Squeezing his hand tightly, I brought it up to my lips, placing a firm kiss on the appendage.
“Hey there,” his soft voice rasps out.
“Hello yourself kulta,” I smiled.
“How long have I been out?”
“Almost two days,” I answered. “You had surgery on your foot to remove the bullet. You’ve been asleep ever since. I suppose you needed the rest.”
“Yeah…” he yawns, agreeing. “I did. Before all of …that happened, I drove for almost a full day from Scarsdale.”
“Scarsdale?” I raise my eyebrow inquisitively. “What were you doing there?”
“It’s a long story,” he sighs. “I’ll tell you about it later. How are you feeling? Are your feet ok?”
“I’m…alright, for now my love,” I sigh, looking downward. “The burns in my feet weren’t too horrible. They’ll leave scars, but right now, I just have to stay off of my feet for a few days.”
“Well, at least that’ll heal up soon. And then you can devote all of your time to being my sexy nurse,” he says. I can’t help but smirk at the suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. Always the naughty one…
“Um…do April and Phil know about what happened?”
“Yeah…they’re downstairs getting some coffee right now. They’re…not too happy with me right now.”
“Why?” Bam asks, raising up on his elbow. “What happened wasn’t your fault. They have no right to be angry with you.”
“Don’t they?” I sigh, feeling the tears coming on again.
“Ville…what are you saying?”
“Isn’t this all of my fault? I was attacked and you were nearly killed all because my damn pride couldn’t see the truth. Even when you were screaming it in my face…I couldn’t see it…”
“Ville,” Bam says firmly, gripping my chin and forcing me to look in his eyes. “None of this is your fault ok? None of this. Its all Alexi’s fault. He’s the one who went insane. Ok? Let me hear you say it.”
“N…none of this…was my fault…” I say lowly.
“Say it again,” Bam demands.
“N-none of this was my fault. I…it was Alexi’s fault.”
“That’s my baby,” Bam smiles. I return the warm gesture and lean into him, sweetly brushing our lips together.
“I love you Ville,” Bam whispers, his fingers lightly stroking my cheek.
“I love you too Bammie,” I whisper back, pressing my lips gently to his forehead.
My lips move from his forehead, to his temple, down to the tip of his nose, until finally they’re where they belong, connected to his lips. Our kiss was gentle at first, a chaste peck. Soon enough though, our lips were parting and Bam’s dry tongue entered my moist cavern. The moment our tongues touched, I felt that old fire being lit inside of me. I loved Bam’s kisses. The way his tongue would intertwine with my own before it began its exploration of my mouth. Each kiss was like our first, as if it were the first time we’ve tasted each other. I tilt my head slightly and our embrace deepens. Placing my hand on the back of his neck, I pull him closer, as if I were trying to devour him completely.
“Brandon!” April’s shrill voice causes me to freeze during my actions. I pull my lips away from Bam’s, much to his groans of protest, and I take my hands back, letting him fall back to the bed.
“Hi mom,” Bam groans.
“Oh my God!” She shrieks, rushing over to her son and taking him in her arms. “Thank God you’re ok! My poor baby!”
“Relax Ape,” Bam sighs, trying to wiggle out of her arms. “It was just my foot, I’m fine.”
“You are not fine Bam!” April exclaims, on the verge of tears. “You could have been killed!”
“April, honey,” Phil says from the doorway. “Let him go, he needs to rest.”
April nods her head and, after giving Bam one final squeeze, places him gently down on the bed. “Brandon, honey, I’m just so glad that you’re alright.”
“Yeah,” Phil agrees, placing his hand on Bam’s. “You gave us quite a scare there son. When the doctors called, saying that you’d been shot…I didn’t know what to think…” There was a small glistening in Phil’s eyes, signaling that he was on the verge of tears. Bam saw this and gently squeezed Phil’s hand.
“Hey…come on fat man, I’ve been through worse…”
“I just can’t believe you let yourself get involved in this,” April says in frustration, glaring at me.
“I…I…” I start, but April cuts me off.
“I mean, just one look at that boy and you should have known that he was a troubled kid. How could you invite him into your home like that!?”
“Ape!” Bam shouts. “Lay off of him!”
“No! I will not!” April shouts right back. “Brandon, you almost died! I’m not going to just sit back and accept that when something could have been done to prevent it.”
“April!” Phil growled, taking everyone by surprise. “That’s enough! Now they’ve both been through a lot, Ville perhaps more so than Bam. The last thing they need is someone scolding them like toddlers.”
Bam and I exchanged a shocked glance as we watched the scene unfold before us. I’ve never really seen Phil angry before. Sure, Bam has told me some stories, but for the most part, Phil was an easy-going person. To see him explode like that…its like watching a train-wreck. Its horrible and scary, but you can’t turn away. April seems just as shocked as we are. Her eyes briefly go wide before her features soften once more and she gives a small nod.
“Y-you’re right,” she concedes. “I’m sorry Ville. I shouldn’t be taking my anger out on you. You were in as much danger as Bam…please forgive me sweetheart.”
I don’t say anything to her at the moment. I’m not sure if I’m ready to forgive her yet. Instead, I just lower my eyes and nod my head. That must be enough for her though, because she walks over to me and places her hand on my shoulder. I don’t try to move it though, she’s trying after all. Bam must have noticed my uneasiness though. He gave me an apologetic smile and lightly stroked my hand.
“Mom, Dad?” Bam called. “Can you give Ville and I a moment alone?”
April looked as if she was about to protest, but one looked from Phil quashed that. Phil gave Bam an understanding look and lead his wife quietly out of the room.
“Thanks,” I laugh.
“Its no problem. She didn’t need to fly off of the handle like that. Like I said before, none of this was your fault.”
Smiling to my lover, I tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear and place another small kiss to his lips. Bam scoots over on the bed and pats the spot next to him. Grinning, I take the hint and, as gingerly as I can, I lay down next to him on the small bed. Once we’re both positioned comfortably, Bam wraps his arm over my chest and snuggles into my neck. Instinctively, I wrap an arm around his shoulder and place a small kiss to his temple. This was nice…I always did like just lying in bed and holding Bam like this.
“What happened to Lauri?” Bam asks after a moment of silence.
“Hmm?”
“Lauri…I was just wondering if he was ok. I mean…I know that this is partially his fault, but he’s still a good guy. He did try to help.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “If it weren’t for him…for what he did…Alexi would have…” My breathing became too shaky for me to continue that sentence. I couldn’t think about that right now. Instead, I took a deep breath and started again. “Um…they’re still trying to track down his parents, but from what the doctors told me, he made it through surgery. The bullet hit his spine. They said that he’ll probably be paralyzed from the waist down.”
“Poor kid,” Bam says sadly. “I hope Alexi gets killed in prison.”
“Shhh…my love,” I whisper. “Lets not talk about him.”
“I know…but I’m just so angry! I mean…he hurt you! I should have been there to protect you! Whatever Alexi gets will be too good for him.”
“Darling…I really don’t want to talk about him right now.”
“I’m sorry,” Bam whispers, giving me a peck on the cheek. “J-just…do you think the police will be able to convict him, without you having to testify?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “Maybe…Alexi and Lauri had set up some…video equipment in the apartment without our knowledge. The tapes have what he did to me on it, plus all of the footage that they put on the school website. Hopefully, they’ll be able to make a deal with him.”
“Yeah…” Bam nodded. “H-have you thought about what you’re going to do now? I mean, are you going to try to get your job back at the school? I’m sure that they’ll understand what happened…”
“No!” I cut him off. “No…even after all of this…I don’t think I could go back there.”
“So another teaching job then?”
I didn’t want Bam to know this, but I was wary on the whole idea of going back to any school. I know some people have probably been through this before and come out strong, unwilling to let their fears conquer them, but I don’t think I could be that kind of person. I couldn’t go back into the classroom, knowing that they all know what happened to me. I don’t want to look suspiciously around the room and wonder if any of the others would snap like Alexi. No…I want nothing to do with that. Perhaps its time that I reunite with my old passion…I do miss performing after all.
“Actually, love,” I smile. “I’ve been talking to Linde and he says that things aren’t working out with their drummer right now. Perhaps I can convince him to let me play.”
“Really?” Bam asks. “So you would be ‘Mr. Big Rockstar’?”
“Yes, and you could be ‘Mrs. Big Rockstar’,” I laugh.
“I like the sound of that,” Bam smiles, pressing his body closer to mine. “But of course, you’re going to have to be the wife.”
“Oh really?” I laugh. “And why is that?”
“Well, you’re prettier than me for starters. Plus, you’re going to be Momma to our kids someday. Kids can’t have two Mommas.”
“Oh, we’re going to have kids now?” I ask, amused by Bam’s fantasy.
“Yep, a boy and a girl. Bammie and Willa Jr. They’ll look just like us and follow in our footsteps. But I want them to have your eyes though.”
“Why? You’re eyes are so much more beautiful darling.”
“Not like yours though. Besides, this is my fantasy so I decide the eye color,” he says mater-of-factly.
“Fair enough then, love,” I laugh. “I love you Bam.”
“I love you too Willa….Will you marry me?”
Bam’s question caused my eyes to spring wide open and nearly caused me to fall off of the bed. Did he just ask me to marry him?
“W…what?” I ask nervously.
“You heard me,” Bam smirks. “I want you to marry me. And I won’t take no for an answer.”
His words make me think of when we first met and how relentless he was to go out with me. Did I really want to put myself through that kind of torture again? I love Bam so much…but am I ready to be married?
“Ville,” Bam says my name softly, his hand gently cupping my cheek. “I love you more than life. This whole experience has made me realize that I would die if anything happened to you or if I ever lost you again. I want to be with you forever Ville. I want to make you mine forever and start a life with you. So please, Ville, marry me?”
My eyes drift over to an empty space as I let Bam’s words sink in. The truth is, I’d die if I ever lost Bam again as well. Bammie is the love of my life, I don’t think I could live without his love for even a day, let alone the rest of my life.
“Gay marriages aren’t legal in this state…” I tell him.
“I don’t give a fuck!” Bam says. “We’ll go some place where it is. And even though it makes me sad, I don’t care if everyone else doesn’t recognize it, I’ll know that you’re my husband. That’s all that matters. Please marry me, Ville?”
With a tear in my eye, I take Bam’s handsome face in my hands and bring him close to me, our lips mere inches apart. Looking deep into his eyes, I close the space between us placing a firm, but loving kiss on his already swollen lips. Bam kisses me back for a moment, but then he places his hand on my chest and lightly pushes me away.
“Hey,” he laughs. “Don’t try to change the subject. Will you marry me?”
“Of course I will darling,” I say, letting that stray tear fall. “Of course I will.”
Those words are all that Bam needs before he launches himself onto me, his lips completely covering mine in a possessive, hungry kiss. I love him so damn much…
Alexi (POV)
God I hate this place. How long do I have to be here anyway? The doctors said that it would be until I’m “cured”. Since when is love a disease? Besides, I doubt that there’s any medication or treatment on earth that can cure me of my love for Ville. Well, if loving Ville is what got me here, then I suppose I’m going to be locked away for a long time. Better get used to the white scrubs and the smell of disinfectant.
Things had gone from bad to worse very quickly in these past few months. First off, right as I was finally about to destroy Bam, the cops came in and shot me in the fucking shoulder. To make matters worse, they took Ville from me, they wouldn’t let him see if I was ok. Poor thing must’ve been so worried about me.
Everything after that was just a crazy blur. I was arrested, of course. My lawyer had tried to get me to take a plea bargain where I would get fifteen to twenty years for the assault of Ville and the attempted murder of Bam and Lauri. I wouldn’t take it though. I didn’t “assault” Ville, he wanted it, and I certainly didn’t try to kill Lauri. The bastard shouldn’t have tried to be a hero. I mean…I’m sorry that he got hurt, but he should have just minded his own business.
Anyway, my lawyer decided to try to get me off on reasons of mental disease or defect. I hadn’t wanted to do it at first, but my mother begged and pleaded with me to at least try it. She couldn’t stand the thought of me going to jail and possibly being killed. I’m all that she has left after all. So, I swallowed my pride and allowed my lawyer to go along with that strange defense. I must have fooled the shrinks though, because all of the ones I had to speak to agreed that I suffered from delusions about my relationship with Ville. Psh…they just don’t understand what he and I had.
The trial went by quicker than I expected. The psychiatrists that my lawyer hired had explained to the jury that, due to a lack of a father-figure in my life, I had an attraction to older men, which lead to my unhealthy obsessions. They said that while what I did was wrong, I shouldn’t be held responsible for having little self-control. Then they got my mother up on the stand so she could cry her eyes out and try to convince everyone that I had always been such a good kid and that she couldn’t believe it when this happen. It was the same old shit she said to the cops in Finland.
The prosecution’s witnesses were a bit more fun for me. Mostly because their two main witnesses were Ville and my old flame Eicca. It was nice to see the blonde beauty after so long. He must have been happy to see me too, he had tears in his eyes after all. They found him hiding out in a nice suburb in New York and subpoenaed him for the trial. The poor little thing was shaking like a leaf throughout his whole testimony. It did bring a smile to my face though to hear about all of our old times together. He told of our courtship, the first time we made love, and the poor accident that he had which caused him to have such terrible nerve damage in his hand. My beautiful, blonde cellist…seeing him again made me think of all the reasons that I fell in love with him. Those perfect, golden locks, his piercing sapphire eyes and those full lips, all amazing features of his. What I loved most about him though was his smile. He looks as if he doesn’t smile much anymore, but I was able to catch a glimpse of it once he was through with his testimony and he smiled to his sister. His smile could always brighten up a room.
Nothing made me happier though than when I got to see my Ville again. I had spent weeks in a holding cell during the trial, so I wasn’t able to see him. He looked so beautiful, dressed so dapper for court. He hadn’t worn his signature eyeliner this time, but that didn’t stop his jade eyes from glowing across from the room. Even some of the jurors couldn’t help but stare in awe at his beauty. Their lustful stares made me want to gouge their eyes out though. No one should be looking at what is mine. They asked Ville all sorts of questions about me like, “What kind of student was I?” “Did I always seem like a disturbed individual?” “Was there any kind of relationship between us that wasn’t platonic?” Ville had told them that I seemed sweet at first, that I was a good friend. Then he started saying horrible lies about how he never loved me back and that I frightened him. How could he lie on the stand like that? He loves me, he told me himself!
My lawyer had done a number on him though. He brought up that day when he, Bam, Lauri and I were at the mall, and how Ville and I casually flirted while shopping at the Hot Topic. He told about how I had been invited into Ville’s home several times before that horrible day, and how friendly Ville always was with me at school. Now would somebody be so friendly with someone who they thought was disturbed? My lawyer also brought up the fact of Bam’s age, and how he seemed to like younger males. Ville had nearly broken sobbing as he tried to explain that Bam was the only person he ever dated that was younger than him, but my lawyer wouldn’t let him get that far. Then came the issue of the tapes. Lauri had been smart enough to delete the older tapes of Bam and Ville together once we were done with them. The only one that the police could recover was the one with myself and Ville. My lawyer had played it for the court, showing that at no point did Ville show any resistance. The prosecution tried to explain that Ville was intoxicated, but they weren’t able to prove it.
Before the jury was allowed to deliberate on the evidence, the prosecution caved in, striking a deal with my lawyer. Honestly, I thought that I had a good chance of getting off, but my lawyer and my mom didn’t want me to take the risk. Apparently, some of the jurors had been giving me nasty looks when I wasn’t aware. Whatever though, as long as I didn’t have to go to jail, I didn’t care what people thought about me.
Now that I’m actually stuck in this asylum though, having to deal with the jerk orderlies and the crappy isolation rooms, I kind of wish that I had just seen the trial through. Hell, even if I went to prison, I would have been able to earn some respect there. Here, everyone is out of their fucking mind, lost in their own little world while the doctors just pass out medication and pretend that they’re listening to you. If I wasn’t insane before, then I most likely will be by the time I get out of here.
It’ll be worth it soon though. All I have to do is lie and tell the doctors what they want to hear, and they’ll let me out soon enough. I’m sure Ville will be happy to see me once I am released. Poor thing is probably missing me enough as it is. Pity that he hasn’t been able to find the time to visit yet. So far, the only people who come to see me are my mother and, surprisingly, Lauri. His visits always make me feel guilty though. He’s in a wheelchair now, his legs being fully paralyzed. For some reason though, he remains my friend. He visits me once a week and remains optimistic about his current state. He says that as long as his penis remains functional, which somehow it does, then he’s not too angry with me. Its good to know that I can count on him, he’s a good friend. Strange though, I always thought that it would be me visiting him in one of these places.
“Wake up Blondie, quit daydreaming,” an annoying, familiar voice breaks my thoughts.
Looking up, I groan when I realize that its one of the orderlies that I despise, Derrick. The skinny punk looked to be about in his mid-twenties, but acted like an infant. He’s made a game of harassing the patients here, teasing them, stealing their things, and often touching them inappropriately, knowing that no one will believe a bunch of lunatics. Since I’ve come here, he’s started paying more attention to me than any of the others. I suppose he thinks of me as a challenge; maybe he just wants to see how long it will take for me to snap. Who knows? I try not to pay him too much attention though, I don’t want to end up back in the isolation room. No room should be that soft and bouncy.
“I said wake up,” he shouts in an irritated tone. “On your feet, you’re getting a new roommate today.”
“A roommate?” I ask, raising my eyebrow. “I thought I was too dangerous to have anyone stay with me.”
“Well, either you’re getting better, or we’re running out of room. Either way, I don’t want to hear you complain. You’re getting a new friend today, so just deal with it.”
I let out a low growl and send him an evil glare. He just gives a smug smirk of superiority and folds his arms. I swear, the second I get out of here, I will kill him.
“Oh come on, Blondie,” he says. “Its not all bad. He’s from Sweden too, so now you’ll have a little friend with your own secret language.”
“I’m from Finland, you dumbass,” I tell him.
“Whatever, it all sounds like gibberish to me. Oh!” He says, poking his head out the doorway, looking down the hall. “Here he comes now. And my! He’s pretty.”
I say nothing. Instead I roll my eyes and focus instead on the sketchbook in my lap. I was in the middle of a great drawing session before he came in and started being an ass. It was a pretty lovely portrait of what I can remember of that night with Ville. He was sitting in my lap, his head thrown back as my lips were connected to his neck. It was coming out quite nicely, I must say.
“Alexi?” A new voice enters my ears. Looking up, I see my psychiatrist here, Dr. Anderson. He was a sweet older man, but he tended to drift off during our sessions together. Honestly, I could tell him that I’m going to jump over the moon on a cow named Daisy, and he won’t even flinch.
“Alexi, since your doing so well in your therapy and since we’re getting low on space here, we’ve decided to give you a roommate. Do you think you can handle this?” He asks slowly. What the hell? Does he think that a new face is going to send me into a fit of hysterics?
“Yeah…” I tell him, nodding.
“Good, then I would like you to meet your new roommate, Eric Bäckman.”
The doctor side-steps to reveal a young, very thin boy, perhaps sixteen years-old. My eyes go wide at the sight of him though. The boy is, for lack of a better word, stunning. He had very sharp, angular features, ice-blue eyes, and full, wide lips that spread into a devilish grin. His raven hair looked as if it was defying gravity with all of the angles it was poking out into. His lovely eyes were lined with dark kohl and even darker eye-shadow and his cheeks were faintly covered in glittered. For some reason, he reminded me of a gothic Kate Moss. He was attractive, yes. But he seemed the kind of person who knew that he was beautiful, and liked to use it to his advantage.
“What a treat!” The boy smiles, clapping his hands together and causing his tight shirt to raise slightly. “He’s much prettier than my last roommate.”
His compliment makes me blush, so I just turn back to my sketchbook.
“Well,” Dr. Anderson sighs. “I’ll let you two get to know each other and I’ll come back to check on you later.”
With that, the old man and Derrick leave the room, closing the door tightly behind them. The next few moments are filled with awkward tension as Eric just stands there, and I make no attempt to acknowledge him. After a few more moments of silence, the boy finally bounces his way over to me and jumps on my bed, causing the book to fall out of my lap.
“What are you doing?” He asks, resting his head in his hands.
“I’m trying to draw,” I answer.
“Oh, that’s cool,” he says. “What’s your name?”
“Alexi,” I say shortly, returning my attention to my drawing.
“Nice to meet you Alexi. I’m Eric, but you can call me Cat.” He smiles, thrusting his hand forward.
“Why would I call you Cat?” I ask, wearily taking his hand.
“Cause I’m pretty like a kitty,” he laughs, then lays himself out on his back next to me. “I also like it when people scratch my belly,” he smiles.
“Really know?” I say, trying to fight off a smirk.
“Oh yeah, I love it….Do you wanna scratch my belly and make me purr?” He asks with a small glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Maybe later,” I smile. “What else makes you purr?” I ask, feeling bold for some reason.
Cat just smirks and arches his back, stretching like the animal who he is emulating. “You can find that out tonight pretty boy,” he smiles.
Hey, maybe this place won’t be so bad after all….
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the boy mention is Eric Bäckman or "Cat Casino", guitarist for Swedish Death/Glam metal band, Deathstars. he's pretty, but he seems the cocky type.
and one more just cause its fun ^^ :
comments are love ^^