Slut
Title: Slut
Author: Loki_the_Sinner
Rating:
Pairing: Ville/Bam/Novak (as in a threesome)
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone…and the song “Slut” belongs to Velvet Acid Christ
Warnings: Drug use,
Summary: "I will be your never ending,
un-befriending self-expending, moral-bending thorn"
Slut
Well it may sound absurd
I know it will sound crazy but I can’t help myself.
I’ve seen the girls, and the guys you choose to be with.
Whores, sluts, drunks, freaks, wrecks.
I just wish I could break down.
Spread my legs for anyone.
Be like them, that way you’d want me too.
I want to be a wreck for you
Smash out my honor on your floor
You weren’t always like this.
You’d always make fun of Novak for hooking up with those kinds of people.
Then Missy left.
I guess she wasn’t ready for all the craziness.
Everyone understood, even you and we all thought you were fine.
Then you started going out and partying with Novak and his other “friends”.
Seeing you bring home all those strangers kills me.
I almost decided to go out to the bar with you and get wasted.
Just so I might have a chance.
I haven’t had a drop of booze in two years Bam,
Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?
Fill up your bathtub with my moods
Well it may sound a little frightening
I wonder if you’d even recognize me if I showed up,
If you’d be able to tell who I am through the haze of drugs and beer.
It wouldn’t surprise me if you didn’t.
If you took me home for an easy lay.
What would you do in the morning when you saw it was me?
Would you freak out or brush it off.
In my dreams you’d realize how much you love me.
You’d stop with the drugs and the alcohol, stop sleeping around, and we’d live happily ever after.
But that’s just in my dreams.
Real life isn’t like that, and I hate it.
I want to swallow all of your skin
Chew your soft tissue into ash
I’d still let you fuck me though,
I’d let you do whatever you wanted with me.
Use me, hurt me, kill me even,
I’d let you, because it would mean that you’d be focused on me.
Or maybe that’s what I should do to you,
Break you down, destroy you completely.
That way you’d belong to me.
I doubt I could ever do that though,
The idea of hurting you makes me sick.
You could own me though,
I’d be good, never talk back or disobey you.
Think on it, would you?
Beat your ego black and blue
I will be your doll
You could do anything you wanted to me,
Dress me up, show me off,
I’ve heard that you and Novak share sometimes.
I don’t really like him but I’d let him fuck me if you told me to.
I’d do anything, and I’d never ask for anything.
You could use me as a fuck toy.
I’d just be there to satisfy you, that’s it,
That’s all I want.
I will be your hole
I will crush your bones
When you ignore me it makes me want to curl up and die.
I don’t care that the only times you actually pay attention is when you’re angry,
When I’m the only one around for you to take it out on.
I don’t care if you call me names, if you scream in my face,
If you kick me, punch me, hurt me.
It’s better than nothing,
At least I know you still remember I’m here.
I will abrade your soul
I will be your toy
You could treat me like a slave,
Make me cook, clean, do your laundry.
I don’t care anymore,
I love you so much,
I just want to be around you so bad.
I don’t care why,
I just need you.
I will be your thing
I will tear you down with the twist I bring
Sometimes I stay up all night watching your Viva la Bam DVDs.
I stare at the TV and wish as had as I can for it to be like it was.
I watch the making of “And Love Said No” over and over,
I’ve never really believed that you lost” your shoe.
You always took then off right when you walked into the hotel room,
And put then on right when you left.
Back then, it gave me hope that maybe, you liked me as much as I liked you.
Maybe you did, maybe you still do.
Maybe you just can’t remember because you’re so fucked up.
Maybe when this nightmare stops you’ll tell me you love me.
And maybe I should be sent to therapy,
It will never happen,
I know that, but I still dream sometimes.
I will be your doll
I will be your toll at the gates of hell
Sometimes I catch myself hoping that it will be the last time,
That night will be the end.
That you’ll finally OD and die.
And I’ll be free; I won’t be trapped in this hell anymore.
Because you’ll be gone and I’ll finally be able to live.
To breath.
Then I realize that even if you did die, it wouldn’t be over.
Because I wouldn’t be able to go on,
I’d slit my wrists and I’d be right back where I was.
Hoping with everything I am that you’ll get better,
Following you around in hell,
Cleaning up your messes and wishing you loved me back.
That is what I’m for
I will be your flesh
I’ve been thinking about getting a new tattoo,
10/31/2008
It’s the date of the last time I ever saw you sober,
We celebrated Halloween together, and then I went back to Finland for a month.
When I came back you were gone.
All that was left is the shell you’ve become.
I’m going to get it across my wrist, right below the heart.
That way if I do kill myself I can cut right across it.
Because things can never be the way they were,
Slicing that date in half would make that fact even more obvious.
I will be your end
Then on to the next
I wonder if you’d cry if I died.
In my ideal world you’d hear the news, or maybe even find me yourself,
And you’d fall to you knees and cry.
Then you’d follow me, slit your own wrists.
Or you’d go to my room late and night and crawl into my bed,
You’d curl up beneath my blankets and then you’d take an entire bottle of sleeping pills.
They’d find you the next morning and you’d have left them a note on my bedside table next to the empty pill bottle.
You’d tell them how much you loved me,
and how you just couldn't live without me.
But that would never happen would it?
You probably wouldn’t even realize I was gone.
I will start again
I will be your doll
Everyone tells me I should just go home.
That I can’t help you and that I shouldn’t keep wasting my time trying.
I already know that though,
I gave up on trying to help you months ago,
I just can’t leave, I love you to much.
So I’m going to let myself be sucked in now.
To give in to the temptation of all the booze in the fridge.
Let you fill me with your pill and powders.
At least I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.
I will remove your heart
I will burn your world
I’ve never felt this way before,
I’m floating just above the ground but there’s nothing holding me up.
You told me not to worry though.
That you’ll take care of me,
And I know you will.
After all you wouldn’t want to damage me would you?
I will be your object to tease and tear
I will be your "hell, I don't have anything to wear"
You dragged and Novak dragged me upstairs about an hour ago.
Or at least I think it was an hour, but who knows.
You were dressing me up in the clothes Missy left behind,
Revealing tops, skirts and dresses.
Then Novak found her underwear.
He pulled out a set, panties, bra, thigh highs,
And put them on me.
Then all the sudden I was in his lap on the edge of the bad with his hands all over my body.
Then your mouth was on mine.
Soon you were both naked; Novak wanted me to keep what I had on.
He said you could work around it.
Then I was on my hand and knees in the middle of the bed,
You in front of me, groaning and pulling my hair as I sucked you off,
While Novak fucked me from behind.
I think you switched places later but I can’t really remember.
I will be your slut,
I will be your bitch
So here we are its 12 in the afternoon and we’re just waking up.
I feel sick, but you tell me it’s normal,
Novak walks in with a bottle of aspirin and a big bottle of water.
I didn’t even realize he was gone.
You look down at me,
“What are you up for?”
I look up at you before looking over to Novak,
He’s watching me with anticipation,
I don’t need to think about my answer,
“I’ll do anything you tell me to.”
You grin at me then look over to Novak,
“Well Nudie?”
He grins, “He’s fucking perfect dude.”
You get up and grab a bag off the dresser.
Then you hold out two little white pills to me,
“Take them.”
And I do.
I will be your never ending,
un-befriending self-expending, moral-bending thorn
Author: Loki_the_Sinner
Rating:
Pairing: Ville/Bam/Novak (as in a threesome)
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone…and the song “Slut” belongs to Velvet Acid Christ
Warnings: Drug use,
Summary: "I will be your never ending,
un-befriending self-expending, moral-bending thorn"
Slut
Well it may sound absurd
I know it will sound crazy but I can’t help myself.
I’ve seen the girls, and the guys you choose to be with.
Whores, sluts, drunks, freaks, wrecks.
I just wish I could break down.
Spread my legs for anyone.
Be like them, that way you’d want me too.
I want to be a wreck for you
Smash out my honor on your floor
You weren’t always like this.
You’d always make fun of Novak for hooking up with those kinds of people.
Then Missy left.
I guess she wasn’t ready for all the craziness.
Everyone understood, even you and we all thought you were fine.
Then you started going out and partying with Novak and his other “friends”.
Seeing you bring home all those strangers kills me.
I almost decided to go out to the bar with you and get wasted.
Just so I might have a chance.
I haven’t had a drop of booze in two years Bam,
Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?
Fill up your bathtub with my moods
Well it may sound a little frightening
I wonder if you’d even recognize me if I showed up,
If you’d be able to tell who I am through the haze of drugs and beer.
It wouldn’t surprise me if you didn’t.
If you took me home for an easy lay.
What would you do in the morning when you saw it was me?
Would you freak out or brush it off.
In my dreams you’d realize how much you love me.
You’d stop with the drugs and the alcohol, stop sleeping around, and we’d live happily ever after.
But that’s just in my dreams.
Real life isn’t like that, and I hate it.
I want to swallow all of your skin
Chew your soft tissue into ash
I’d still let you fuck me though,
I’d let you do whatever you wanted with me.
Use me, hurt me, kill me even,
I’d let you, because it would mean that you’d be focused on me.
Or maybe that’s what I should do to you,
Break you down, destroy you completely.
That way you’d belong to me.
I doubt I could ever do that though,
The idea of hurting you makes me sick.
You could own me though,
I’d be good, never talk back or disobey you.
Think on it, would you?
Beat your ego black and blue
I will be your doll
You could do anything you wanted to me,
Dress me up, show me off,
I’ve heard that you and Novak share sometimes.
I don’t really like him but I’d let him fuck me if you told me to.
I’d do anything, and I’d never ask for anything.
You could use me as a fuck toy.
I’d just be there to satisfy you, that’s it,
That’s all I want.
I will be your hole
I will crush your bones
When you ignore me it makes me want to curl up and die.
I don’t care that the only times you actually pay attention is when you’re angry,
When I’m the only one around for you to take it out on.
I don’t care if you call me names, if you scream in my face,
If you kick me, punch me, hurt me.
It’s better than nothing,
At least I know you still remember I’m here.
I will abrade your soul
I will be your toy
You could treat me like a slave,
Make me cook, clean, do your laundry.
I don’t care anymore,
I love you so much,
I just want to be around you so bad.
I don’t care why,
I just need you.
I will be your thing
I will tear you down with the twist I bring
Sometimes I stay up all night watching your Viva la Bam DVDs.
I stare at the TV and wish as had as I can for it to be like it was.
I watch the making of “And Love Said No” over and over,
I’ve never really believed that you lost” your shoe.
You always took then off right when you walked into the hotel room,
And put then on right when you left.
Back then, it gave me hope that maybe, you liked me as much as I liked you.
Maybe you did, maybe you still do.
Maybe you just can’t remember because you’re so fucked up.
Maybe when this nightmare stops you’ll tell me you love me.
And maybe I should be sent to therapy,
It will never happen,
I know that, but I still dream sometimes.
I will be your doll
I will be your toll at the gates of hell
Sometimes I catch myself hoping that it will be the last time,
That night will be the end.
That you’ll finally OD and die.
And I’ll be free; I won’t be trapped in this hell anymore.
Because you’ll be gone and I’ll finally be able to live.
To breath.
Then I realize that even if you did die, it wouldn’t be over.
Because I wouldn’t be able to go on,
I’d slit my wrists and I’d be right back where I was.
Hoping with everything I am that you’ll get better,
Following you around in hell,
Cleaning up your messes and wishing you loved me back.
That is what I’m for
I will be your flesh
I’ve been thinking about getting a new tattoo,
10/31/2008
It’s the date of the last time I ever saw you sober,
We celebrated Halloween together, and then I went back to Finland for a month.
When I came back you were gone.
All that was left is the shell you’ve become.
I’m going to get it across my wrist, right below the heart.
That way if I do kill myself I can cut right across it.
Because things can never be the way they were,
Slicing that date in half would make that fact even more obvious.
I will be your end
Then on to the next
I wonder if you’d cry if I died.
In my ideal world you’d hear the news, or maybe even find me yourself,
And you’d fall to you knees and cry.
Then you’d follow me, slit your own wrists.
Or you’d go to my room late and night and crawl into my bed,
You’d curl up beneath my blankets and then you’d take an entire bottle of sleeping pills.
They’d find you the next morning and you’d have left them a note on my bedside table next to the empty pill bottle.
You’d tell them how much you loved me,
and how you just couldn't live without me.
But that would never happen would it?
You probably wouldn’t even realize I was gone.
I will start again
I will be your doll
Everyone tells me I should just go home.
That I can’t help you and that I shouldn’t keep wasting my time trying.
I already know that though,
I gave up on trying to help you months ago,
I just can’t leave, I love you to much.
So I’m going to let myself be sucked in now.
To give in to the temptation of all the booze in the fridge.
Let you fill me with your pill and powders.
At least I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.
I will remove your heart
I will burn your world
I’ve never felt this way before,
I’m floating just above the ground but there’s nothing holding me up.
You told me not to worry though.
That you’ll take care of me,
And I know you will.
After all you wouldn’t want to damage me would you?
I will be your object to tease and tear
I will be your "hell, I don't have anything to wear"
You dragged and Novak dragged me upstairs about an hour ago.
Or at least I think it was an hour, but who knows.
You were dressing me up in the clothes Missy left behind,
Revealing tops, skirts and dresses.
Then Novak found her underwear.
He pulled out a set, panties, bra, thigh highs,
And put them on me.
Then all the sudden I was in his lap on the edge of the bad with his hands all over my body.
Then your mouth was on mine.
Soon you were both naked; Novak wanted me to keep what I had on.
He said you could work around it.
Then I was on my hand and knees in the middle of the bed,
You in front of me, groaning and pulling my hair as I sucked you off,
While Novak fucked me from behind.
I think you switched places later but I can’t really remember.
I will be your slut,
I will be your bitch
So here we are its 12 in the afternoon and we’re just waking up.
I feel sick, but you tell me it’s normal,
Novak walks in with a bottle of aspirin and a big bottle of water.
I didn’t even realize he was gone.
You look down at me,
“What are you up for?”
I look up at you before looking over to Novak,
He’s watching me with anticipation,
I don’t need to think about my answer,
“I’ll do anything you tell me to.”
You grin at me then look over to Novak,
“Well Nudie?”
He grins, “He’s fucking perfect dude.”
You get up and grab a bag off the dresser.
Then you hold out two little white pills to me,
“Take them.”
And I do.
I will be your never ending,
un-befriending self-expending, moral-bending thorn