Somewhere [1/1]
Title: Somewhere [1/1]
Author:
byond_redemptn (a.k.a) me =)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Summary: Ville left Bam heartbroken... Can he fix things or is it too late?
Disclaimer: These people are real, the story isn't.
Warnings: None...
Authors Notes: Lyrics belong to Within Temptation. And lots of love and affection towards my sister
ash_neenan for beta-ing for me =) [Although she really did nothing.] << i didn't say that! ash did!
This is a sequal to Apologise I'd suggest reading that first to understand.
The song for that inspired this fic can be found.
Here.
Now part 2.
Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there is only silence,
Can't you hear my screams...?
You left me.
You finally did it.
…
I’m so proud of you.
You deserve so much better.
Wait.
No, you can’t leave me.
I love you Bammi.
Fuck Bammi. I can’t lose you, please come back!
I’m sorry.
I’m so fucking SORRY!
I’m sobbing, I’m crying, I’m screaming for you to come back.
But you don’t hear me.
You’re long gone.
How long has it been?
The sky, it’s turning pink.
That long?
I’ve been here for that long.
Bammi, please.
I love you.
I need you.
Never stop hoping,
Need to know where you are,
I’m running now, my chest it hurts, where’s my asthma puffer? Fuck, I don’t know, I need to get to him. Just keep running.
Look there is the house, run up to him, kiss him Ville.
Ville, get up!
I can’t, I can’t move, my chest it aches, I can’t breathe.
Ville you stupid bastard, you love him, get up, go to him, show him how much you love him.
I can feel the airways in my lungs closing up, the pain, gods yes it hurts, but I don’t care, it doesn’t compare to the pain in my heart. I cheated on him, the look on his face, oh. I could see his heart breaking as I looked into those beautiful eyes. Why did I do that? Why did I kiss that stupid boy? He was pretty, yes, so pretty, small, brown hair, blue eyes… oh, oh, he looked like Bammi.
I role onto my back, I can’t do this. I deserve to die.
I destroyed such an amazing boy, so beautiful in every way. His features, his personality all so incredibly beautiful.
But one thing's for sure,
You're always in my heart.
Oh Bambi, when I first met you, I couldn’t stop looking at you. I had to sit there, pretending that I didn’t care, but I was entranced by your beauty even then. Your eyes, oh how they sparkled.
I was seriously in love.
I had never felt like that before, it was all consuming. It was… it was painful. I had to be near you as much as possible. I had to have you near me. I had to be able to smell you, be able to reach out and touch you if I needed it. What excuse could I use? One lie after another fell from my lips, help us with our videos, come on stage with me, I’m touchy when I’m drunk, I’m sorry.
How ridiculous they sound now, yet you believed me, maybe you believed me because it’s what you wanted to hear. But it worked, we finally came together.
And that was the most amazing night of my life.
I'll find you somewhere.
I'll keep on trying until my dying day.
I have to reach you. I have to.
I’m too in love with you to let this happen. I have to convince you that I really am sorry. That this is the last time I’ll ever ask for your forgiveness. I need to move, I need to breathe.
Force air into your lungs Ville, you can do it. Breath. In, out, in, out.
You have to reach him.
You have to tell him everything.
Everything.
I just need to know, whatever has happened,
The Truth will free my soul.
Get up, yes, you can breathe now.
So move.
You have to tell him why you did it. Why you were kissing that beautiful boy. You have to tell him why you wouldn’t let him kiss you in public, tell him the truth, tell him that you were scared.
Tell him that you didn’t want to lose him.
Tell him that you didn’t want him to be taken from you.
Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home
I want to embrace you and never let you go...
Each step is painful; each breath brings on a fierce wave of pain.
But I can’t stop now.
I’m so close.
You have to reach him. Ville, you have to take him in your arms and never let him go. Kiss away his fears Ville, kiss them away and make him smile once again.
Almost hope you're in heaven, so no one can hurt your soul...
Living in agony 'cause I just do not know
Where you are.
Reaching the door, I slowly swing it open. Your scent lingers in the air. I breathe in deeply, filling me with you, needing the strength you don’t know that you lend me.
Franticly searching the lower floor I can’t find, can’t feel you. My eyes set on the stairs, you have to be here, you just have to be.
Slowly, ever so slowly I ascend the stairs. Step after excruciating step brings me closer to you. I can feel you now, so close. My Bammi, my beautiful Bammi.
I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
Standing outside your door, our door, I falter, I can’t do this. You hate me. I could see it in your eyes. But I have to see you. I have to explain everything to you. Even if it kills me.
Slowly pushing open the door, I see you lying there, sprawled on the silk sheets.
The rise and fall of your chest is erratic as you sob quietly into your pillow. But even that falters slightly as you catch the faint hint of my presence. You always did know where I was.
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The truth will free my soul.
I slowly walk over to the bed, slowly.
Oh so slowly.
I climb into the bed with you. And just lay there. I don’t expect you to turn over. I don’t even expect you to talk to me.
I can feel my tears then, slowly sliding down my cheeks, and ending their pitiful journey in my hair.
I thought that I would feel calmer in your presence, but all I seem to feel is the overwhelming sadness finally catching up to me that I had kept at bay trying to reach you.
I really do love you my Bammi.
More tears fall, they feel so cool on my hot cheeks.
I gasp softly as I cry. Air. I need air.
But I can’t seem to stop crying. I’ve brought this on myself, I really have.
Wherever you are, I won't stop searching.
Whatever it takes, I need to know.
I feel you turn over and look at me. Tear tracts have stained your pretty cheeks. Your eyes are slightly red, and it’s all my fault.
“Why are you here Ville?” you whisper.
I turn my head slightly. A tear slips from beneath my eyelash and slides down my nose to fall silently to the silk pillow.
“Because I’m in love with you.”
You close your eyes, and murmur under your breath.
You look at me again.
“You don’t love me Ville, you used me.”
I gasp softly and I can feel the tears falling fast and freely.
“No Bammi,” You flinch at the nick-name, “No, I am in love with you. Please believe me, I’m,” I close my eyes and breath in deeply.
“I’m so sorry.”
You sigh.
“You’re always sorry Ville.”
I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
You look away from me.
I watch as your face changes as your emotions twist and turn within you.
How is it that I had never noticed this before, never noticed how truly beautiful you are.
In every aspect.
Sorrow.
Anger.
You look at me again.
“You did use me.”
“No Bammi, No!” I whisper harshly. “I am in love with you. I love you so much it hurts. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me, please?” I can feel the tears staining my voice.
Your eyes search mine, looking for something.
I turn and look at the ceiling. I can feel the tears soaking my hair.
I’ve never cried so much in my life.
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The truth will free my soul.
“Why did you do it Ville?”
I turn and your blue eyes catch mine.
“Because he looked like you.”
You blink.
That wasn’t the answer you were expecting.
“But, but I was right here. You had me. I was yours.”
I close my eyes and nod.
“Yes, I know.” I sighed. “I wanted to be able to kiss you in front of people. I wanted to be able to kiss you without worrying what other people thought.”
I feel you clasp my chin and tilt my head up, your eyes search mine.
“But I always said you could do that Ville. I’ve told you a hundred thousand times that I don’t care what other people think, that I’m always yours.”
I nod slowly. You pull your hand back, and I almost whimper at the loss of contact.
“Then why?”
I can’t help it, I’m crying again.
“Because I was scared that if your family found out, that if Adio or Element found out about us they would make you choose. Make you choose between them or me.”
I grasp the front of your shirt.
“Don’t you understand Bam? I don’t ever want you to have to make that decision because of me. Not ever. Skating and your family mean so much to you. And, me, well I’m just a singer.”
Anger flashes in your eyes and I can feel your whole body tense.
I flinch away slightly scared of what you’ll do.
But it’s soon gone and your whole body relaxes ever so slightly.
Your hand reaches out to cup my cheek and you gently wipe away some of my tears.
I sigh at the touch.
“Why won’t you let me make those decisions baby?”
I stare at you, my mouth slightly open.
“I can look after myself you know?” You whisper, and a ghost of your old smile flickers into existence before fading away.
“I have enough money to last a life time, 3 even, why won’t you trust me to know what I want.”
I open my mouth to explain, but I nothing surfaces, other then a small.
“I’m sorry.”
You smile slightly again.
And gently kiss me.
Nothing passionate.
Just a small kiss.
“I forgive you.”
Author:
byond_redemptn (a.k.a) me =)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Summary: Ville left Bam heartbroken... Can he fix things or is it too late?
Disclaimer: These people are real, the story isn't.
Warnings: None...
Authors Notes: Lyrics belong to Within Temptation. And lots of love and affection towards my sister
ash_neenan for beta-ing for me =) [Although she really did nothing.] << i didn't say that! ash did!
This is a sequal to Apologise I'd suggest reading that first to understand.
The song for that inspired this fic can be found.
Here.
Now part 2.
Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there is only silence,
Can't you hear my screams...?
You left me.
You finally did it.
…
I’m so proud of you.
You deserve so much better.
Wait.
No, you can’t leave me.
I love you Bammi.
Fuck Bammi. I can’t lose you, please come back!
I’m sorry.
I’m so fucking SORRY!
I’m sobbing, I’m crying, I’m screaming for you to come back.
But you don’t hear me.
You’re long gone.
How long has it been?
The sky, it’s turning pink.
That long?
I’ve been here for that long.
Bammi, please.
I love you.
I need you.
Never stop hoping,
Need to know where you are,
I’m running now, my chest it hurts, where’s my asthma puffer? Fuck, I don’t know, I need to get to him. Just keep running.
Look there is the house, run up to him, kiss him Ville.
Ville, get up!
I can’t, I can’t move, my chest it aches, I can’t breathe.
Ville you stupid bastard, you love him, get up, go to him, show him how much you love him.
I can feel the airways in my lungs closing up, the pain, gods yes it hurts, but I don’t care, it doesn’t compare to the pain in my heart. I cheated on him, the look on his face, oh. I could see his heart breaking as I looked into those beautiful eyes. Why did I do that? Why did I kiss that stupid boy? He was pretty, yes, so pretty, small, brown hair, blue eyes… oh, oh, he looked like Bammi.
I role onto my back, I can’t do this. I deserve to die.
I destroyed such an amazing boy, so beautiful in every way. His features, his personality all so incredibly beautiful.
But one thing's for sure,
You're always in my heart.
Oh Bambi, when I first met you, I couldn’t stop looking at you. I had to sit there, pretending that I didn’t care, but I was entranced by your beauty even then. Your eyes, oh how they sparkled.
I was seriously in love.
I had never felt like that before, it was all consuming. It was… it was painful. I had to be near you as much as possible. I had to have you near me. I had to be able to smell you, be able to reach out and touch you if I needed it. What excuse could I use? One lie after another fell from my lips, help us with our videos, come on stage with me, I’m touchy when I’m drunk, I’m sorry.
How ridiculous they sound now, yet you believed me, maybe you believed me because it’s what you wanted to hear. But it worked, we finally came together.
And that was the most amazing night of my life.
I'll find you somewhere.
I'll keep on trying until my dying day.
I have to reach you. I have to.
I’m too in love with you to let this happen. I have to convince you that I really am sorry. That this is the last time I’ll ever ask for your forgiveness. I need to move, I need to breathe.
Force air into your lungs Ville, you can do it. Breath. In, out, in, out.
You have to reach him.
You have to tell him everything.
Everything.
I just need to know, whatever has happened,
The Truth will free my soul.
Get up, yes, you can breathe now.
So move.
You have to tell him why you did it. Why you were kissing that beautiful boy. You have to tell him why you wouldn’t let him kiss you in public, tell him the truth, tell him that you were scared.
Tell him that you didn’t want to lose him.
Tell him that you didn’t want him to be taken from you.
Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home
I want to embrace you and never let you go...
Each step is painful; each breath brings on a fierce wave of pain.
But I can’t stop now.
I’m so close.
You have to reach him. Ville, you have to take him in your arms and never let him go. Kiss away his fears Ville, kiss them away and make him smile once again.
Almost hope you're in heaven, so no one can hurt your soul...
Living in agony 'cause I just do not know
Where you are.
Reaching the door, I slowly swing it open. Your scent lingers in the air. I breathe in deeply, filling me with you, needing the strength you don’t know that you lend me.
Franticly searching the lower floor I can’t find, can’t feel you. My eyes set on the stairs, you have to be here, you just have to be.
Slowly, ever so slowly I ascend the stairs. Step after excruciating step brings me closer to you. I can feel you now, so close. My Bammi, my beautiful Bammi.
I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
Standing outside your door, our door, I falter, I can’t do this. You hate me. I could see it in your eyes. But I have to see you. I have to explain everything to you. Even if it kills me.
Slowly pushing open the door, I see you lying there, sprawled on the silk sheets.
The rise and fall of your chest is erratic as you sob quietly into your pillow. But even that falters slightly as you catch the faint hint of my presence. You always did know where I was.
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The truth will free my soul.
I slowly walk over to the bed, slowly.
Oh so slowly.
I climb into the bed with you. And just lay there. I don’t expect you to turn over. I don’t even expect you to talk to me.
I can feel my tears then, slowly sliding down my cheeks, and ending their pitiful journey in my hair.
I thought that I would feel calmer in your presence, but all I seem to feel is the overwhelming sadness finally catching up to me that I had kept at bay trying to reach you.
I really do love you my Bammi.
More tears fall, they feel so cool on my hot cheeks.
I gasp softly as I cry. Air. I need air.
But I can’t seem to stop crying. I’ve brought this on myself, I really have.
Wherever you are, I won't stop searching.
Whatever it takes, I need to know.
I feel you turn over and look at me. Tear tracts have stained your pretty cheeks. Your eyes are slightly red, and it’s all my fault.
“Why are you here Ville?” you whisper.
I turn my head slightly. A tear slips from beneath my eyelash and slides down my nose to fall silently to the silk pillow.
“Because I’m in love with you.”
You close your eyes, and murmur under your breath.
You look at me again.
“You don’t love me Ville, you used me.”
I gasp softly and I can feel the tears falling fast and freely.
“No Bammi,” You flinch at the nick-name, “No, I am in love with you. Please believe me, I’m,” I close my eyes and breath in deeply.
“I’m so sorry.”
You sigh.
“You’re always sorry Ville.”
I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
You look away from me.
I watch as your face changes as your emotions twist and turn within you.
How is it that I had never noticed this before, never noticed how truly beautiful you are.
In every aspect.
Sorrow.
Anger.
You look at me again.
“You did use me.”
“No Bammi, No!” I whisper harshly. “I am in love with you. I love you so much it hurts. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me, please?” I can feel the tears staining my voice.
Your eyes search mine, looking for something.
I turn and look at the ceiling. I can feel the tears soaking my hair.
I’ve never cried so much in my life.
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The truth will free my soul.
“Why did you do it Ville?”
I turn and your blue eyes catch mine.
“Because he looked like you.”
You blink.
That wasn’t the answer you were expecting.
“But, but I was right here. You had me. I was yours.”
I close my eyes and nod.
“Yes, I know.” I sighed. “I wanted to be able to kiss you in front of people. I wanted to be able to kiss you without worrying what other people thought.”
I feel you clasp my chin and tilt my head up, your eyes search mine.
“But I always said you could do that Ville. I’ve told you a hundred thousand times that I don’t care what other people think, that I’m always yours.”
I nod slowly. You pull your hand back, and I almost whimper at the loss of contact.
“Then why?”
I can’t help it, I’m crying again.
“Because I was scared that if your family found out, that if Adio or Element found out about us they would make you choose. Make you choose between them or me.”
I grasp the front of your shirt.
“Don’t you understand Bam? I don’t ever want you to have to make that decision because of me. Not ever. Skating and your family mean so much to you. And, me, well I’m just a singer.”
Anger flashes in your eyes and I can feel your whole body tense.
I flinch away slightly scared of what you’ll do.
But it’s soon gone and your whole body relaxes ever so slightly.
Your hand reaches out to cup my cheek and you gently wipe away some of my tears.
I sigh at the touch.
“Why won’t you let me make those decisions baby?”
I stare at you, my mouth slightly open.
“I can look after myself you know?” You whisper, and a ghost of your old smile flickers into existence before fading away.
“I have enough money to last a life time, 3 even, why won’t you trust me to know what I want.”
I open my mouth to explain, but I nothing surfaces, other then a small.
“I’m sorry.”
You smile slightly again.
And gently kiss me.
Nothing passionate.
Just a small kiss.
“I forgive you.”