(no subject)
Title: L'Acteur
Chapter: Six. Real Important.
Author
slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: R still! Oi.
Pairing: XD. Vam. DOY.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, no money, don't sue.
AN: Linde if you remember was one of the bullies that took Bammie Wammie's teddy, so that would explain teh Bullyboy hehe. 15 and 18 now. :)
The First Meeting
The Wrong Idea
Gone Too Far
Don't Apologize
Thirteen Is Old Enough
~Two Years Later~
Bam walked into his bedroom humming one of Ville's songs, just in time to see Ville and a tall, thin boy with long blonde hair share a long, slow kiss. Angry and hurt and not knowing why, he stood and stared until they separated, then ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.
Ville walked in the house just as the bathroom door slammed. Immediately, his eyes shot to the stairs, knowing almost instinctively that something was wrong with Bam.
Looking at Linde nervously, Ville followed the sound up the stairs.
"Bammie?" He spoke, outside the closed bathroom door.
"Fuck you," came Bam's harsh reply through the door, loud and clear like there wasn't five inches of wood between them.
Ville stepped back from the door unconsciously, shocked."Wh-what? But, Bam, I-", he started.
Bam cut him off by asking angrily, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
Panic caught Ville round the throat; he couldn't mean...could he? "T-tell you what?"
Bam growled, barely able to be heard over the sound of rustling through the cabinets. Chest tightening with fear, Ville gulped back his urge to hurl; Bam was searching for something, and he thought he knew what. "That you were fucking Bullyboy down there, you fucking prick!"
Ville swallowed; so he did know. "B-Bam, I-, you-, I'm really sorry, okay?"
He heard a small 'Yes!' followed by the tang of water hitting metal. Ville's heart started to pound, his chest almost painfully tense with worry. "Bam, don't, please don't do it," he begged.
In the past couple of years since his rape, Ville had caught Bam cutting; he'd hidden the razorblade so Ville couldn't throw it away, but Ville still stopped him every chance he got.
Now more than ever, he wished he could bust through the door and physically take the razorblade from him; in this state, Bam was far less likely to cut in a way to keep himself alive.
Tears welled in his eyes at that thought, the thought of losing his best friend. "No, Bam, c'mon, please, don't do this to me."
Ville winced at the rasp of the steel cutting through skin tissue. "Go home and fuck Lily, asshole; in a few days, you'll forget all about me." The scoff sounded nothing like the usual Bam; all joy was gone from his voice and he sounded cold, heartless. What he said was meant to hurt Ville.
It worked. Ville's tears spilled at those words, feeling like his chest was splitting in two. Even as he wanted to defend his boyfriend, guilt tore at him. Did Bam really think he was that unimportant? That Ville could fuck his memory away in less than a week?
"Bam, no! You're very important to me! I'd be devastated if you died," Ville yelled desperately as another two slices of steel against skin echoed in his ears.
"Bullshit! If I'm so important to you, why would you keep something like this, one of the biggest parts of your life, from me?" As cold as Bam had tried to sound, Ville could hear the tears and the picture of Bam crying on the other side of the door was almost more than Ville could take.
Guilty regret pierced Ville's heart. It was his fault Bam thought he meant so little to him, and if Bam did die tonight, the blame would lie on no one but Ville.
"I'm sorry, Bam. I guess I just didn't want to tell you yet." Ville knew it was the wrong thing to say, and instantly, he wished he could take the words back, but it was the truth.
Bam laughed bitterly and Ville heard three more cuts. "Yeah. Real fucking important."
"Bammie, please, please don't do this, just put it down, stop it, please, I'm begging you..."
There was a silence and Ville started to panic. "B-Bam? Bam! Say something!"
"I can't take this anymore," Bam muttered weakly, and, fearing he meant life, Ville prepared his body to physically bust through the door and stop him, but before he could, it banged open.
Bleeding wrists and all, Bam fell through the door into Ville's arms and, wrapping his arms around his neck so he couldn't pull away, kissed Ville more tenderly than any person had ever dared.
Ville let himself kiss back for a long moment, drawn in by how soft and sweet Bam's kiss was.
Then, he realized who it was he was kissing and almost violently pushed Bam away.
Bam had put his heart into that kiss, and Ville inwardly winced, knowing what he was about to say would break it.
"Bam, I-I'm with Linde...and...I really just don't like you that way."
Ville forced himself not to look away as Bam's heart shattered in his cloudy blue eyes.
"O-oh. Okay." Bam whispered, sharply turning his gaze to the floor.
"...Yeah. Um. Are you ready to go?" Ville shifted nervously as he waited for the answer, hoping Bam would take the cue to act like the past few hours hadn't happened.
Bam said nothing, just brushed by Ville quickly and walked into his room, shutting the door behind him.
As Ville walked by the closed door, he heard the sniffles and whimpers Bam's pillow couldn't smother and realized the promise he'd made to himself was broken.
He had hurt Bam.
~♥~
*HUGE KISS* See. Every two days...until I run out of chapters...then you might have to wait a few more. Sowwy. LOVE YOU ALL! Gimme comments, pwease? They're my life's blood! :D
Chapter: Six. Real Important.
Author
slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: R still! Oi.
Pairing: XD. Vam. DOY.
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, no money, don't sue.
AN: Linde if you remember was one of the bullies that took Bammie Wammie's teddy, so that would explain teh Bullyboy hehe. 15 and 18 now. :)
The First Meeting
The Wrong Idea
Gone Too Far
Don't Apologize
Thirteen Is Old Enough
~Two Years Later~
Bam walked into his bedroom humming one of Ville's songs, just in time to see Ville and a tall, thin boy with long blonde hair share a long, slow kiss. Angry and hurt and not knowing why, he stood and stared until they separated, then ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.
Ville walked in the house just as the bathroom door slammed. Immediately, his eyes shot to the stairs, knowing almost instinctively that something was wrong with Bam.
Looking at Linde nervously, Ville followed the sound up the stairs.
"Bammie?" He spoke, outside the closed bathroom door.
"Fuck you," came Bam's harsh reply through the door, loud and clear like there wasn't five inches of wood between them.
Ville stepped back from the door unconsciously, shocked."Wh-what? But, Bam, I-", he started.
Bam cut him off by asking angrily, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
Panic caught Ville round the throat; he couldn't mean...could he? "T-tell you what?"
Bam growled, barely able to be heard over the sound of rustling through the cabinets. Chest tightening with fear, Ville gulped back his urge to hurl; Bam was searching for something, and he thought he knew what. "That you were fucking Bullyboy down there, you fucking prick!"
Ville swallowed; so he did know. "B-Bam, I-, you-, I'm really sorry, okay?"
He heard a small 'Yes!' followed by the tang of water hitting metal. Ville's heart started to pound, his chest almost painfully tense with worry. "Bam, don't, please don't do it," he begged.
In the past couple of years since his rape, Ville had caught Bam cutting; he'd hidden the razorblade so Ville couldn't throw it away, but Ville still stopped him every chance he got.
Now more than ever, he wished he could bust through the door and physically take the razorblade from him; in this state, Bam was far less likely to cut in a way to keep himself alive.
Tears welled in his eyes at that thought, the thought of losing his best friend. "No, Bam, c'mon, please, don't do this to me."
Ville winced at the rasp of the steel cutting through skin tissue. "Go home and fuck Lily, asshole; in a few days, you'll forget all about me." The scoff sounded nothing like the usual Bam; all joy was gone from his voice and he sounded cold, heartless. What he said was meant to hurt Ville.
It worked. Ville's tears spilled at those words, feeling like his chest was splitting in two. Even as he wanted to defend his boyfriend, guilt tore at him. Did Bam really think he was that unimportant? That Ville could fuck his memory away in less than a week?
"Bam, no! You're very important to me! I'd be devastated if you died," Ville yelled desperately as another two slices of steel against skin echoed in his ears.
"Bullshit! If I'm so important to you, why would you keep something like this, one of the biggest parts of your life, from me?" As cold as Bam had tried to sound, Ville could hear the tears and the picture of Bam crying on the other side of the door was almost more than Ville could take.
Guilty regret pierced Ville's heart. It was his fault Bam thought he meant so little to him, and if Bam did die tonight, the blame would lie on no one but Ville.
"I'm sorry, Bam. I guess I just didn't want to tell you yet." Ville knew it was the wrong thing to say, and instantly, he wished he could take the words back, but it was the truth.
Bam laughed bitterly and Ville heard three more cuts. "Yeah. Real fucking important."
"Bammie, please, please don't do this, just put it down, stop it, please, I'm begging you..."
There was a silence and Ville started to panic. "B-Bam? Bam! Say something!"
"I can't take this anymore," Bam muttered weakly, and, fearing he meant life, Ville prepared his body to physically bust through the door and stop him, but before he could, it banged open.
Bleeding wrists and all, Bam fell through the door into Ville's arms and, wrapping his arms around his neck so he couldn't pull away, kissed Ville more tenderly than any person had ever dared.
Ville let himself kiss back for a long moment, drawn in by how soft and sweet Bam's kiss was.
Then, he realized who it was he was kissing and almost violently pushed Bam away.
Bam had put his heart into that kiss, and Ville inwardly winced, knowing what he was about to say would break it.
"Bam, I-I'm with Linde...and...I really just don't like you that way."
Ville forced himself not to look away as Bam's heart shattered in his cloudy blue eyes.
"O-oh. Okay." Bam whispered, sharply turning his gaze to the floor.
"...Yeah. Um. Are you ready to go?" Ville shifted nervously as he waited for the answer, hoping Bam would take the cue to act like the past few hours hadn't happened.
Bam said nothing, just brushed by Ville quickly and walked into his room, shutting the door behind him.
As Ville walked by the closed door, he heard the sniffles and whimpers Bam's pillow couldn't smother and realized the promise he'd made to himself was broken.
He had hurt Bam.
~♥~
*HUGE KISS* See. Every two days...until I run out of chapters...then you might have to wait a few more. Sowwy. LOVE YOU ALL! Gimme comments, pwease? They're my life's blood! :D