The True Story of God, Lucifer and a Man Named Bam
Title: The True Story of God, Lucifer and a Man Named Bam
Pairing: Bam/Lucifer, VAM (Ville/Bam) and others to come.
Rating: PG/PG-13/NC-17(language I suppose...)
Disclaimer:Don't own, this never happened, yadda yadda.
Summary: (supposed to be humour but that's for you to decide...) Bam get's kidnapped by the Devil. Summaries give away the story, that's all I'm giving away. sorry.
Previous Chapters:
Ch.1
Ch.2
Ch.3
Ch.4
a/n: okay well this is all the chapters I had finished so far, cuz this story Ive had for a while since september I think, and then I decided to put up on here and make it VAM, however updates on this can get a little slow, but I wont forget about it, and Ill try and get Ch.9 out for my 'The 9th Circle' story. So yeah.... enjoy! OH and in this story Bam has an Apartment, cuz the original of this the character did and it would be sorta hard for me to change it around... cuz Bam actually has a nice house so i couldn't call that shitty.... and he also has a made up roomate to go with. HES MINE, I actually own him. In my mind... cuz I created him.... *shifty eyes* anyways on with the story.
***Ch.5***
"Ready?" I asked him.
"Yes." was his only answer as I opened the door orange light washing over us.
"Okay just a few steps further then I'll let you open your eyes." I told him.
"Alright." He mumbled inching his way along with me trying my best to guide him.
When we reached the end of the garden where the Iron wrought gates were I stood him infront of them and took a step back. "You can open your eyes now."
***Bams POV***
When I opened my eyes I looked to see what layed before me. An iron gate... Is That what he wanted to show me?
"Bam, that isn't exactly what I wanted to show you. Look at your surroundings once you do maybe I'll take you to one of the seeing pools on the other side of this gate." He said as-a-matter-of-fact sorta way.
"Are you showing me how limited I am to try and escape?!" I asked completely ignoring what he said.
"No! That wasn't what I was going to show you! Now stop making assumptions and listen." He said firmly. "These gates surround this place for a reason. To keep everyone on this side safe. These gates create an invisible barrier that covers this place, sort of like a dome. Now the main reason is because of the dragons, and other creatures that we might find threatening." He explained.
"Oh." I muttered feeling my face reddening.
"Now, would you like to see one of the seeing pools? I also wanna see whats happening now that your, how would I put it? 'Missing'. Maybe your shitty apartment is being vandalized or something." He said grinning.
"Hey! My apartment is not shitty! Well maybe it is, but only I can say it's shitty!" I said defending my sad excuse for an apartment.
"Well it is. Now quit your fucking complaining and come with me." He said grabbing my waist.
"How come all that's growing are these trees? All there is on the forest floor, are these vines, moss, and some other shit." I asked stepping over some weird slug looking thing, looked nasty as far as my concern.
Sighing he said, "You and your 20 questions... You like asking questions don't you?" Lucifer asked arching an eyebrow.
"Well, I think I deserve to know seeing as I was taken down here against my will, forced to be naked in front of you, umm let's see, sleep with you, still don't know exactly, what's dangerous or not, umm I'm starving and I think that about covers it." Me and my smart-ass mouth... Eh, my some-what of a life was taken out from under me anyways.
"Look," he said putting his hands on his hips. "Bam, if we do end up getting 'seperated', with your smart-ass mouth like that, there aren't as pleasant, or as nice people, beings, creature, whatever, you name it, out there like me. So learn to stop being an ass, stop trying to make yourself sound better than me, cause you're not, and learn to live with the rules I'll be setting for you."
"RULES!?" What. The. Fuck.
"Yes, I don't want you getting hurt, and I don't think you want to get killed soooo yeah." I just stood there giving him a death glare.
"Now come on you stubborn bitch." He said in a girly voice, his arm making it's way around my, soon to be, worn out waist.
After about an hour of walking my feet we're killing me, my legs sore, and I was starting to wonder if that thing that bit me a while back infected me or something. "Are we there yet?" I must have asked him this about mmm 15 times already?
"YES WE ARE! NOW SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH!" he yelled his eye twitching, could have sworn his eyes were a different color.
"Yay!" I said happily.
"See that pool of water at the base of that really old and huge looking tree? The one with the vines around it and all the leaves missing?" He asked me pointing somewhere off in the distance. Oh! There it is! I see it! Awwww look how alone it looks! Damn I'm such a dork.
"Yes we know you are." We walked over to this... tree... and it was HUGE. Damn biggest tree I've ever seen.
"So now what?" I asked him.
"Look into the water and think of what you would like to see." he instructed, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
I want to know what happened to my crappy rental car.... I think it really died this time, and they said it was a good working car, those dumbass liers!...I watched as the water became cloudy, then slowly images started to appear then noises. "HEY! YOU FUCKING DICK! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SHITTY RENTAL CAR!" I yelled as I saw some guy in tattered clothes, take out some wire I think it was, and all this other shit. That ass.
"He can't hear you genious." Lucifer said rolling his eyes.
"Damn you all." I muttered angrily.
"Hm? Oh I'm sorry, but I'm already damned, your now officially damned and so is practically the whole population."
"grrrr..." I watched furiously as the guy hot-wired my car, and started to drive off with it. When I get back that asshole is going to die, I had to fucking pay for it! And now I have to pay for a missing rental car! I don't care if it was a shitty car, but it was mine for those few days... wait... why do I even care? It's not even my car to begin with... Then again I'll be the one paying for it and everything since it'll be reported as 'missing'.
"Are you done? Cause you know watching you taking showers, getting dressed, and having sex with your roommate is way more intresting than this, besides I wanna see what your family, friends, and the cops are up to." He said shoving me aside. I just stood there wide-eyed, mouth hanging open, did he just say what I think he said?!
"YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING ME!? I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU ALSO WATCHED ME HAVE SEX WITH DAN! YOU FUCKTARD!" I was beyond pissed now.
"Yes. Have a problem with that?" He questioned boredly.
"YES I DO! YOU ASS, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN MASTERBATING TO ANY OF IT!" I screamed.
"Don't worry I can assure you I didn't. I'm not about to put myself that low." He said offhandedly. "Now can I get back to what I want to see?" I just stood there, shocked, horrified, and very violated.
******
Also read the authors note above. oh and I do realize I have pretty shitty grammer, and even I realize I could do better than this but, it's just the way it come out when I'm only halfheartedly doing it, or its just my shitty grammer. So excuse the horrible writing and what-not. I also realize I have pretty sucky spelling and Im to lazy and sotra in a hurry to get this published cuz I have to go somewhere... and so yeah. WOOT! ANOTHER SNOWDAY! damn I hope we dont stay in skool till july from all these snow days...
COMMENT PLEASE OR VILLE GETS IT! (okay I really couldnt do that but.... fine JARED LETO GETS IT! AHHA!!! *puts rusty old knife to Jareds neck* DO IT OR THE MAN WILL BE TORTURED TO DEATH!) j/k j/k.
Pairing: Bam/Lucifer, VAM (Ville/Bam) and others to come.
Rating: PG/PG-13/NC-17(language I suppose...)
Disclaimer:Don't own, this never happened, yadda yadda.
Summary: (supposed to be humour but that's for you to decide...) Bam get's kidnapped by the Devil. Summaries give away the story, that's all I'm giving away. sorry.
Previous Chapters:
Ch.1
Ch.2
Ch.3
Ch.4
a/n: okay well this is all the chapters I had finished so far, cuz this story Ive had for a while since september I think, and then I decided to put up on here and make it VAM, however updates on this can get a little slow, but I wont forget about it, and Ill try and get Ch.9 out for my 'The 9th Circle' story. So yeah.... enjoy! OH and in this story Bam has an Apartment, cuz the original of this the character did and it would be sorta hard for me to change it around... cuz Bam actually has a nice house so i couldn't call that shitty.... and he also has a made up roomate to go with. HES MINE, I actually own him. In my mind... cuz I created him.... *shifty eyes* anyways on with the story.
***Ch.5***
"Ready?" I asked him.
"Yes." was his only answer as I opened the door orange light washing over us.
"Okay just a few steps further then I'll let you open your eyes." I told him.
"Alright." He mumbled inching his way along with me trying my best to guide him.
When we reached the end of the garden where the Iron wrought gates were I stood him infront of them and took a step back. "You can open your eyes now."
***Bams POV***
When I opened my eyes I looked to see what layed before me. An iron gate... Is That what he wanted to show me?
"Bam, that isn't exactly what I wanted to show you. Look at your surroundings once you do maybe I'll take you to one of the seeing pools on the other side of this gate." He said as-a-matter-of-fact sorta way.
"Are you showing me how limited I am to try and escape?!" I asked completely ignoring what he said.
"No! That wasn't what I was going to show you! Now stop making assumptions and listen." He said firmly. "These gates surround this place for a reason. To keep everyone on this side safe. These gates create an invisible barrier that covers this place, sort of like a dome. Now the main reason is because of the dragons, and other creatures that we might find threatening." He explained.
"Oh." I muttered feeling my face reddening.
"Now, would you like to see one of the seeing pools? I also wanna see whats happening now that your, how would I put it? 'Missing'. Maybe your shitty apartment is being vandalized or something." He said grinning.
"Hey! My apartment is not shitty! Well maybe it is, but only I can say it's shitty!" I said defending my sad excuse for an apartment.
"Well it is. Now quit your fucking complaining and come with me." He said grabbing my waist.
"How come all that's growing are these trees? All there is on the forest floor, are these vines, moss, and some other shit." I asked stepping over some weird slug looking thing, looked nasty as far as my concern.
Sighing he said, "You and your 20 questions... You like asking questions don't you?" Lucifer asked arching an eyebrow.
"Well, I think I deserve to know seeing as I was taken down here against my will, forced to be naked in front of you, umm let's see, sleep with you, still don't know exactly, what's dangerous or not, umm I'm starving and I think that about covers it." Me and my smart-ass mouth... Eh, my some-what of a life was taken out from under me anyways.
"Look," he said putting his hands on his hips. "Bam, if we do end up getting 'seperated', with your smart-ass mouth like that, there aren't as pleasant, or as nice people, beings, creature, whatever, you name it, out there like me. So learn to stop being an ass, stop trying to make yourself sound better than me, cause you're not, and learn to live with the rules I'll be setting for you."
"RULES!?" What. The. Fuck.
"Yes, I don't want you getting hurt, and I don't think you want to get killed soooo yeah." I just stood there giving him a death glare.
"Now come on you stubborn bitch." He said in a girly voice, his arm making it's way around my, soon to be, worn out waist.
After about an hour of walking my feet we're killing me, my legs sore, and I was starting to wonder if that thing that bit me a while back infected me or something. "Are we there yet?" I must have asked him this about mmm 15 times already?
"YES WE ARE! NOW SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH!" he yelled his eye twitching, could have sworn his eyes were a different color.
"Yay!" I said happily.
"See that pool of water at the base of that really old and huge looking tree? The one with the vines around it and all the leaves missing?" He asked me pointing somewhere off in the distance. Oh! There it is! I see it! Awwww look how alone it looks! Damn I'm such a dork.
"Yes we know you are." We walked over to this... tree... and it was HUGE. Damn biggest tree I've ever seen.
"So now what?" I asked him.
"Look into the water and think of what you would like to see." he instructed, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
I want to know what happened to my crappy rental car.... I think it really died this time, and they said it was a good working car, those dumbass liers!...I watched as the water became cloudy, then slowly images started to appear then noises. "HEY! YOU FUCKING DICK! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SHITTY RENTAL CAR!" I yelled as I saw some guy in tattered clothes, take out some wire I think it was, and all this other shit. That ass.
"He can't hear you genious." Lucifer said rolling his eyes.
"Damn you all." I muttered angrily.
"Hm? Oh I'm sorry, but I'm already damned, your now officially damned and so is practically the whole population."
"grrrr..." I watched furiously as the guy hot-wired my car, and started to drive off with it. When I get back that asshole is going to die, I had to fucking pay for it! And now I have to pay for a missing rental car! I don't care if it was a shitty car, but it was mine for those few days... wait... why do I even care? It's not even my car to begin with... Then again I'll be the one paying for it and everything since it'll be reported as 'missing'.
"Are you done? Cause you know watching you taking showers, getting dressed, and having sex with your roommate is way more intresting than this, besides I wanna see what your family, friends, and the cops are up to." He said shoving me aside. I just stood there wide-eyed, mouth hanging open, did he just say what I think he said?!
"YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING ME!? I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU ALSO WATCHED ME HAVE SEX WITH DAN! YOU FUCKTARD!" I was beyond pissed now.
"Yes. Have a problem with that?" He questioned boredly.
"YES I DO! YOU ASS, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN MASTERBATING TO ANY OF IT!" I screamed.
"Don't worry I can assure you I didn't. I'm not about to put myself that low." He said offhandedly. "Now can I get back to what I want to see?" I just stood there, shocked, horrified, and very violated.
******
Also read the authors note above. oh and I do realize I have pretty shitty grammer, and even I realize I could do better than this but, it's just the way it come out when I'm only halfheartedly doing it, or its just my shitty grammer. So excuse the horrible writing and what-not. I also realize I have pretty sucky spelling and Im to lazy and sotra in a hurry to get this published cuz I have to go somewhere... and so yeah. WOOT! ANOTHER SNOWDAY! damn I hope we dont stay in skool till july from all these snow days...
COMMENT PLEASE OR VILLE GETS IT! (okay I really couldnt do that but.... fine JARED LETO GETS IT! AHHA!!! *puts rusty old knife to Jareds neck* DO IT OR THE MAN WILL BE TORTURED TO DEATH!) j/k j/k.