inourblood
in
__vam
songfic entry
Well, since my -cough- wonderful -cough- entry to the songfic contest didn't win, I figured I should post it on here. Not that anyone wants to read it, but nevermind...
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
“I’m sorry, Ville,” Migé said softly. “None of us wanted this to happen. I’m so sorry,”
The members of HIM were gathered in the kitchen, Migé, Linde and Ville around the table and Gas and Burton leaning against a worktop. Migé was clasping Ville’s hand reassuringly, and Linde was rubbing his back as he tried to stop himself crying.
Ville brushed tears from his eyes and shook his head slowly. This couldn’t be happening to him. It just couldn’t. He felt a comforting hand squeezing his shoulder gently.
“We’ll be right behind you, whatever you decide, Viltsu,” said Linde. “But you will have to tell him soon. It’s not fair on him if you put it off,”
The singer nodded in thanks. He didn’t trust his voice right now.
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time
“C’mon, let’s sort out those tears before he gets in,” Migé said, standing and taking Ville’s hand. “We’ll be in the bathroom if anyone needs us,” They left the kitchen together. When they came to the bathroom, Migé pushed open the door and sat Ville down on the toilet seat. He produced a couple of tissues from one pocket of his jeans and ran water over them from the tap.
“Th-thanks Mizee. This means a l-lot to me,” Ville stuttered, his breathing slightly erratic still.
“It’s no problem, Vilpertti. You know we’d all do anything for you, if you need us. And whatever you decide, we respect that, ok? Don’t worry about us. This is your thing to decide, and it really doesn’t matter, whatever you choose,”
Ville nodded, choking back more tears. Why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn’t it be someone else’s problem?
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
Migé dabbed at his friend’s eyes with the tissues, wiping away the smears where eyeliner had run down his cheeks. Then he brought out a kohl pencil and re-lined underneath Ville’s emerald green orbs. He stepped back slightly, as if admiring his work, and said, “There, beautiful again. Just don’t start crying, or it will run,” He smiled and slipped his hand around Ville’s shoulders. The singer attempted to smile back, but there was no humour in his eyes. “Let’s go wait for Bam,”
Ville stood slowly and walked down to the kitchen on shaky legs, Migé’s arm around his waist to support him. It was ridiculous how one thing could leave the normally cool, collected frontman trembling and sobbing like someone had died. And in a way, someone had. His heart had died as soon as he realised what might happen.
They only had a few minutes to wait before Bam came bounding in the front door, casually throwing his board in a corner with a clatter.
“Hey!” he said cheerfully, swinging round the kitchen door. Then he stopped, seeing the expressions on everyone’s faces. “What happened?”
“Do you want us to go outside, Ville?” Migé asked softly. Ville roughly shook his head, pulling the bassist’s arm back to where it had been resting across the table, lying on top of Ville’s own hand. Everyone was looking at Ville now, waiting for him to speak. He swallowed nervously.
“Bam, I just got a call from Seppo. He was speaking to the director of MTV. They know about our relationship,” Bam’s face was blank. The happy expression he had when he bounced through the door had been completely erased. “Oh Bam, they said that if we don’t break up and never see each other again, HIM will be dropped from the record label and you’ll lose your show! They want me to leave you!”
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Now Bam was staring, stunned, into his eyes. His lip trembled slightly, but he held back the tears threatening to spring from his eyes. Bam Margera didn’t cry, ever.
“What do you mean?” he asked stupidly. Migé was looking at him with a mixture of pity and compassion on his face, and Linde’s eyes were red from where he had been rubbing the tears from them. Ville, on the other hand, had tears spilling down his face in floods, unnoticed by the singer.
“Bammie, I’m so sorry! I don’t want for this to happen! I don’t want to have to decide between the two things that I love most. I mean, I can’t leave you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But it’s not fair on everyone else if I just give up on everything we’ve been doing for ten years!”
Bam came over and wrapped his arms around Ville. His voice sounded odd from where he was trying desperately not to cry. “I’m sorry too, Willa. I wish you didn’t have to do this. I wish…” he paused for a moment, realising the full impact of what he was about to do. When he said this, Ville would leave with his band. He would never get to hold him, never get to kiss him, hell, never even get to fuck him again. There would be no more mornings waking up wrapped in each other’s arms. There would be no more nights falling asleep with his head on Ville’s chest. There would be no more idyllic days spent just feeling content in his lover’s warm embrace. But he had to do it. He couldn’t let Ville give up everything he had worked on for ten years to achieve. “I wish you didn’t have to leave me,”
Ville looked up at him, his eyes red and puffy, eyeliner smeared down his face. “What?”
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while
Bam almost took it back, but he forced himself to do this, saying, “I’m not letting you give up everything you have with HIM just for me. You can find another person to love, and have a fun life away from me. I-“
Ville slapped him hard across the face. “Screw the band, Bam! You mean more to me than some fucking job! Don’t you think that I would love to spend the rest of my life with you? If I could, I fucking would! The only damn reason I even have to decide is because I can’t just say ‘screw HIM’ and leave all the others without a band,” They seemed to have forgotten that there was anyone else in the room. They both jumped when Migé spoke.
“Viltsu, I told you earlier, don’t worry about us. Whatever you decide, it’s just you who matters. We can find something else to do with our lives if it means you’ll be happy,” At this, Burton stood and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. With an apologetic look, Gas followed, shutting the door much more carefully.
Bam shook his head and said, “No. You can’t do that. It’s not fair on you or anyone else. Forget about me. Go enjoy your life,”
“You mean it, don’t you,” Ville said. It wasn’t a question. “You would actually give up everything we have so I can go and be a rock star?”
“I’d do anything to make you happy, Willa, and if that means giving you up, then that’s what I’ll do. At least I can still see you on the TV, even if I can’t see you in person,” His familiar grin popped back onto his face. “And no one says I can’t somehow manage to get a VIP ticket next time you tour,” Ville laughed through his tears. Bam always found a way to make him smile. He would hate leaving him.
“Is that r-really what you w-want, Bammie?” he asked.
“No. What I really want is to be with you forever and never let you out of my sight, but it’s what I should do. I don’t think I would be making anyone happy by breaking up HIM,”
Migé stood up and beckoned to Linde. “Let’s give them a few moments together,” He didn’t need to say ‘for the last time’ for Ville to know what he meant. The bassist cast him a sympathetic look over his shoulder before leaving the kitchen.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
As soon as they left, Ville flung his arms around Bam, holding him so tight he could have crushed him. “I’m so sorry, Bammie, I’m so sorry!”
“Hey, Willa, angel, don’t cry. It’s okay. You’ll still see me again, I promise. It’s okay,” Bam stroked small circles on his back, whispering comforting words. Then he lifted Ville’s face up to his own, closing his sapphire eyes and moving in slowly. Their lips connected with a spark of electricity, feeling so right together, as if they were meant for each other. Ville opened his mouth and Bam’s tongue slid in, exploring the whole cavern of his mouth. This would be their last ever kiss, their last ever time holding each other so tightly. Their last ever moment just together, as if nothing in the world mattered other than their love.
All too soon, Migé and Linde returned, with Burton and Gas in tow. They broke apart, Ville hiding his face in the crook of Bam’s neck. Bam had his cheek resting on Ville’s soft hair, hair that he would never touch again. Tears were pouring down his face in rivers. Bam Margera was crying. For the first time since he was a child, he was crying.
And then he gazed into Ville’s deep green eyes. And then they pulled apart. And then he had to leave. Had to leave and continue his life without his lover. There was an empty, lonely feeling in the pit of his stomach, one that he knew he would never shake away.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
Bam accompanied him to the front door, where a car was waiting to take them back to the airport, back to Finland, out of Bam’s life. They held hands for as long as possible, before finally pulling apart. Bam raised his hand to wave goodbye, then was hit with a bundle of Ville.
“I don’t want to leave you!” he cried, holding on for dear life. Bam attempted to prise his arms away, all the time whispering soft words. “Ville, Willa, baby, you have to let go now. You have to go now angel. Let go now,” Eventually he released his hold and collapsed to his knees. Migé and Linde lifted him gently and carried the distraught singer to the taxi.
As the engine started, Bam felt his legs carrying him forward. He was nearly level with the car, nearly touching the window where Ville’s hand rested in a final farewell, and then the cab pulled away. Ville stared morosely out of the back window, and as his gaze met Bam’s, he kissed his hand and blew the kiss to the skater. Bam repeated the action and waved sorrowfully until he could no longer see the car. Until his Ville was gone forever.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so yeah, that's the cappy extent of it.
comments = Ville with sugar on top!
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
“I’m sorry, Ville,” Migé said softly. “None of us wanted this to happen. I’m so sorry,”
The members of HIM were gathered in the kitchen, Migé, Linde and Ville around the table and Gas and Burton leaning against a worktop. Migé was clasping Ville’s hand reassuringly, and Linde was rubbing his back as he tried to stop himself crying.
Ville brushed tears from his eyes and shook his head slowly. This couldn’t be happening to him. It just couldn’t. He felt a comforting hand squeezing his shoulder gently.
“We’ll be right behind you, whatever you decide, Viltsu,” said Linde. “But you will have to tell him soon. It’s not fair on him if you put it off,”
The singer nodded in thanks. He didn’t trust his voice right now.
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time
“C’mon, let’s sort out those tears before he gets in,” Migé said, standing and taking Ville’s hand. “We’ll be in the bathroom if anyone needs us,” They left the kitchen together. When they came to the bathroom, Migé pushed open the door and sat Ville down on the toilet seat. He produced a couple of tissues from one pocket of his jeans and ran water over them from the tap.
“Th-thanks Mizee. This means a l-lot to me,” Ville stuttered, his breathing slightly erratic still.
“It’s no problem, Vilpertti. You know we’d all do anything for you, if you need us. And whatever you decide, we respect that, ok? Don’t worry about us. This is your thing to decide, and it really doesn’t matter, whatever you choose,”
Ville nodded, choking back more tears. Why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn’t it be someone else’s problem?
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
Migé dabbed at his friend’s eyes with the tissues, wiping away the smears where eyeliner had run down his cheeks. Then he brought out a kohl pencil and re-lined underneath Ville’s emerald green orbs. He stepped back slightly, as if admiring his work, and said, “There, beautiful again. Just don’t start crying, or it will run,” He smiled and slipped his hand around Ville’s shoulders. The singer attempted to smile back, but there was no humour in his eyes. “Let’s go wait for Bam,”
Ville stood slowly and walked down to the kitchen on shaky legs, Migé’s arm around his waist to support him. It was ridiculous how one thing could leave the normally cool, collected frontman trembling and sobbing like someone had died. And in a way, someone had. His heart had died as soon as he realised what might happen.
They only had a few minutes to wait before Bam came bounding in the front door, casually throwing his board in a corner with a clatter.
“Hey!” he said cheerfully, swinging round the kitchen door. Then he stopped, seeing the expressions on everyone’s faces. “What happened?”
“Do you want us to go outside, Ville?” Migé asked softly. Ville roughly shook his head, pulling the bassist’s arm back to where it had been resting across the table, lying on top of Ville’s own hand. Everyone was looking at Ville now, waiting for him to speak. He swallowed nervously.
“Bam, I just got a call from Seppo. He was speaking to the director of MTV. They know about our relationship,” Bam’s face was blank. The happy expression he had when he bounced through the door had been completely erased. “Oh Bam, they said that if we don’t break up and never see each other again, HIM will be dropped from the record label and you’ll lose your show! They want me to leave you!”
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Now Bam was staring, stunned, into his eyes. His lip trembled slightly, but he held back the tears threatening to spring from his eyes. Bam Margera didn’t cry, ever.
“What do you mean?” he asked stupidly. Migé was looking at him with a mixture of pity and compassion on his face, and Linde’s eyes were red from where he had been rubbing the tears from them. Ville, on the other hand, had tears spilling down his face in floods, unnoticed by the singer.
“Bammie, I’m so sorry! I don’t want for this to happen! I don’t want to have to decide between the two things that I love most. I mean, I can’t leave you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But it’s not fair on everyone else if I just give up on everything we’ve been doing for ten years!”
Bam came over and wrapped his arms around Ville. His voice sounded odd from where he was trying desperately not to cry. “I’m sorry too, Willa. I wish you didn’t have to do this. I wish…” he paused for a moment, realising the full impact of what he was about to do. When he said this, Ville would leave with his band. He would never get to hold him, never get to kiss him, hell, never even get to fuck him again. There would be no more mornings waking up wrapped in each other’s arms. There would be no more nights falling asleep with his head on Ville’s chest. There would be no more idyllic days spent just feeling content in his lover’s warm embrace. But he had to do it. He couldn’t let Ville give up everything he had worked on for ten years to achieve. “I wish you didn’t have to leave me,”
Ville looked up at him, his eyes red and puffy, eyeliner smeared down his face. “What?”
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while
Bam almost took it back, but he forced himself to do this, saying, “I’m not letting you give up everything you have with HIM just for me. You can find another person to love, and have a fun life away from me. I-“
Ville slapped him hard across the face. “Screw the band, Bam! You mean more to me than some fucking job! Don’t you think that I would love to spend the rest of my life with you? If I could, I fucking would! The only damn reason I even have to decide is because I can’t just say ‘screw HIM’ and leave all the others without a band,” They seemed to have forgotten that there was anyone else in the room. They both jumped when Migé spoke.
“Viltsu, I told you earlier, don’t worry about us. Whatever you decide, it’s just you who matters. We can find something else to do with our lives if it means you’ll be happy,” At this, Burton stood and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. With an apologetic look, Gas followed, shutting the door much more carefully.
Bam shook his head and said, “No. You can’t do that. It’s not fair on you or anyone else. Forget about me. Go enjoy your life,”
“You mean it, don’t you,” Ville said. It wasn’t a question. “You would actually give up everything we have so I can go and be a rock star?”
“I’d do anything to make you happy, Willa, and if that means giving you up, then that’s what I’ll do. At least I can still see you on the TV, even if I can’t see you in person,” His familiar grin popped back onto his face. “And no one says I can’t somehow manage to get a VIP ticket next time you tour,” Ville laughed through his tears. Bam always found a way to make him smile. He would hate leaving him.
“Is that r-really what you w-want, Bammie?” he asked.
“No. What I really want is to be with you forever and never let you out of my sight, but it’s what I should do. I don’t think I would be making anyone happy by breaking up HIM,”
Migé stood up and beckoned to Linde. “Let’s give them a few moments together,” He didn’t need to say ‘for the last time’ for Ville to know what he meant. The bassist cast him a sympathetic look over his shoulder before leaving the kitchen.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
As soon as they left, Ville flung his arms around Bam, holding him so tight he could have crushed him. “I’m so sorry, Bammie, I’m so sorry!”
“Hey, Willa, angel, don’t cry. It’s okay. You’ll still see me again, I promise. It’s okay,” Bam stroked small circles on his back, whispering comforting words. Then he lifted Ville’s face up to his own, closing his sapphire eyes and moving in slowly. Their lips connected with a spark of electricity, feeling so right together, as if they were meant for each other. Ville opened his mouth and Bam’s tongue slid in, exploring the whole cavern of his mouth. This would be their last ever kiss, their last ever time holding each other so tightly. Their last ever moment just together, as if nothing in the world mattered other than their love.
All too soon, Migé and Linde returned, with Burton and Gas in tow. They broke apart, Ville hiding his face in the crook of Bam’s neck. Bam had his cheek resting on Ville’s soft hair, hair that he would never touch again. Tears were pouring down his face in rivers. Bam Margera was crying. For the first time since he was a child, he was crying.
And then he gazed into Ville’s deep green eyes. And then they pulled apart. And then he had to leave. Had to leave and continue his life without his lover. There was an empty, lonely feeling in the pit of his stomach, one that he knew he would never shake away.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
Bam accompanied him to the front door, where a car was waiting to take them back to the airport, back to Finland, out of Bam’s life. They held hands for as long as possible, before finally pulling apart. Bam raised his hand to wave goodbye, then was hit with a bundle of Ville.
“I don’t want to leave you!” he cried, holding on for dear life. Bam attempted to prise his arms away, all the time whispering soft words. “Ville, Willa, baby, you have to let go now. You have to go now angel. Let go now,” Eventually he released his hold and collapsed to his knees. Migé and Linde lifted him gently and carried the distraught singer to the taxi.
As the engine started, Bam felt his legs carrying him forward. He was nearly level with the car, nearly touching the window where Ville’s hand rested in a final farewell, and then the cab pulled away. Ville stared morosely out of the back window, and as his gaze met Bam’s, he kissed his hand and blew the kiss to the skater. Bam repeated the action and waved sorrowfully until he could no longer see the car. Until his Ville was gone forever.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so yeah, that's the cappy extent of it.
comments = Ville with sugar on top!