(no subject)
title: "snippets"
author: hangon2iq
rating: if you're "into" slashy fic, you're old enough to read it.
pairing: vam & co.
summary: snapshots of various interactions... all based on "what you didn't see" during filming of various footage, ie: all of the "making of the wideos", "bam presents HIM", any episode of VLB, etc. i'm sure you'll recognise where it's all coming from... provided you're as big of a dork as i am (shut up, i know you are!).
disclaimer: don't know (wish i did... sometimes.), don't own (wouldn't that just be... guh.), never happened (no comment.)
author's note: i never see anyone do this, but nonetheless... this is written in the style of a theatrical script, cuz it's easier for me to get my ideas out that way.
-----------------------------------------------------------
BAM [to camera]
the ONLY reason we're in finland is to find raab's mail-order bride...
FRANTZ [sounding irritated]
CUT!!!
BAM [whining]
whaaaat?
[ville stifles a giggle with his hand, then takes a large swig of vodka. raab looks completely befuddled.]
FRANTZ [walks towards bam, who meets him halfway, and speaks in a somewhat hushed yet pressing tone]
jesus, bam! who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid with this?
BAM [walking briskly back to the bar and planting himself next to ville with a determined air]
it's going in the episode because i say it is, frantz. [pins frantz with a dead-serious glare] JUST. HUMOUR. ME.
+++
BAM [holding camcorder, fairly drunk]
oh how very manly, frantzie-pants! [giggles like a schoolgirl]
FRANTZ [continuing to do one-armed push ups]
you could be under me... y'know what i mean?
BURTON [makes a small choking noise and abruptly turns away for no discernable reason, walking swiftly in the other direction and fumbling for his pack of cigarettes]
+++
BAM [armed with his camcorder and closing in on vito, who is seated at the kitchen table]
hey vito... who's your favourite in HIM?
VITO [as if being asked for the millionth time]
wuhlemme oh... i seen HIM. they're good.
BAM [makes a nudging motion at vito from off camera, as if urging him to provide the desired answer]
yeah, but which... wha... who rocks the hardest?
VITO [replies dutifully, but is very obviously tired of the subject]
wuhvdavuh-illa valo... is the... best. he makes all the girls faint, right?
BAM [sighs inaudibly, then spots new "prey" entering kitchen and shifts camera accordingly]
jess! wh... who rocks the hardest in HIM?
JESS [mincing about in the kitchen, obviously unwilling to tailor his reply to bam's unspoken, yet all too obvious plan]
i like lily lazer because he's a good guitar player...
VITO [trying in earnest to remember something about ANY band member other than that really pretty one who keeps showing up at their house looking for bam] lily lazer? [lightbulb appears over vito's head] ohhh! dissatta one dunn's allawaysyappinaboud all the time likeezuhsomesorduvfaggy vulcan idiot schoolgirl? uggano... like izzathe guy widda nappy hair ershitlockswhadeveuhdahellyehcallum, hazzuh odderband? lions and tigers and bears oh my orwuddeffehdiz? yanno, that cd ryan's always lissennnto onnadahstubbid headphones lockedupinnisguddamroom all day?
BAM [muttering to self with a faint smirk]
er... i'm gonna have to edit out, like... ALL of that.
author: hangon2iq
rating: if you're "into" slashy fic, you're old enough to read it.
pairing: vam & co.
summary: snapshots of various interactions... all based on "what you didn't see" during filming of various footage, ie: all of the "making of the wideos", "bam presents HIM", any episode of VLB, etc. i'm sure you'll recognise where it's all coming from... provided you're as big of a dork as i am (shut up, i know you are!).
disclaimer: don't know (wish i did... sometimes.), don't own (wouldn't that just be... guh.), never happened (no comment.)
author's note: i never see anyone do this, but nonetheless... this is written in the style of a theatrical script, cuz it's easier for me to get my ideas out that way.
-----------------------------------------------------------
BAM [to camera]
the ONLY reason we're in finland is to find raab's mail-order bride...
FRANTZ [sounding irritated]
CUT!!!
BAM [whining]
whaaaat?
[ville stifles a giggle with his hand, then takes a large swig of vodka. raab looks completely befuddled.]
FRANTZ [walks towards bam, who meets him halfway, and speaks in a somewhat hushed yet pressing tone]
jesus, bam! who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid with this?
BAM [walking briskly back to the bar and planting himself next to ville with a determined air]
it's going in the episode because i say it is, frantz. [pins frantz with a dead-serious glare] JUST. HUMOUR. ME.
+++
BAM [holding camcorder, fairly drunk]
oh how very manly, frantzie-pants! [giggles like a schoolgirl]
FRANTZ [continuing to do one-armed push ups]
you could be under me... y'know what i mean?
BURTON [makes a small choking noise and abruptly turns away for no discernable reason, walking swiftly in the other direction and fumbling for his pack of cigarettes]
+++
BAM [armed with his camcorder and closing in on vito, who is seated at the kitchen table]
hey vito... who's your favourite in HIM?
VITO [as if being asked for the millionth time]
wuhlemme oh... i seen HIM. they're good.
BAM [makes a nudging motion at vito from off camera, as if urging him to provide the desired answer]
yeah, but which... wha... who rocks the hardest?
VITO [replies dutifully, but is very obviously tired of the subject]
wuhvdavuh-illa valo... is the... best. he makes all the girls faint, right?
BAM [sighs inaudibly, then spots new "prey" entering kitchen and shifts camera accordingly]
jess! wh... who rocks the hardest in HIM?
JESS [mincing about in the kitchen, obviously unwilling to tailor his reply to bam's unspoken, yet all too obvious plan]
i like lily lazer because he's a good guitar player...
VITO [trying in earnest to remember something about ANY band member other than that really pretty one who keeps showing up at their house looking for bam] lily lazer? [lightbulb appears over vito's head] ohhh! dissatta one dunn's allawaysyappinaboud all the time likeezuhsomesorduvfaggy vulcan idiot schoolgirl? uggano... like izzathe guy widda nappy hair ershitlockswhadeveuhdahellyehcallum, hazzuh odderband? lions and tigers and bears oh my orwuddeffehdiz? yanno, that cd ryan's always lissennnto onnadahstubbid headphones lockedupinnisguddamroom all day?
BAM [muttering to self with a faint smirk]
er... i'm gonna have to edit out, like... ALL of that.