all will be well ...
Title: Even Your Shadow I Miss
Part Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romantic drama
Author: druscilla_way
Disclaimer: I bought Bam and Ville on ebay and they live under my bed. And if you're stupid enough to believe that, I'm not going to correct you. Oh, and some dude who's name I'm too lazy to look up owns the song.
Previous chapters in cut.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Even Your Shadow I Miss
Part Eleven
Scatter me across the road
like pieces of broke turn signals
we dance between these dotted lines
and try so hard to save our lives
After a brief moment of 'what the fuck did I just do', Ville tore out of the house in tears, looking every which way for the boy who's heart he had just broken. He swore as he felt the raindrops touch his face.
Great. As if I hadn't just fucked my life up enough, you had to go and make it a damn cliche.
"He took off." Novak said, coming around the side of the house and making Ville levitate about a foot in the air. "Didn't mean to scare you." He would have made a joke, but the look on Bam's face when he stormed into the garage and the look on Ville's face now didn't merit a joke of any form. "You guys have a fight?"
"I wish." Ville said, automatically reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and stopping when he realized he couldn't smoke in the rain.
"Do you . . . I could take you to look for him." Novak offered, knowing Ville wanted to go after Bam, but physically couldn't.
Ville turned, hope etched onto every line in his face. "Could you?" he breathed.
"Yeah, sure. I'll get the keys." Novak walked into the house, feeling slightly unnerved. If it was a fight, it sure as hell wasn't a normal one. That desperate look on Ville's face was making his stomach uneasy.
"Where you going?" April asked, watching her son's friend take a keyring off the hook.
"I'm taking Ville to look for Bam."
"They have a fight?" Ryan asked, looking up from the laptop in front of him.
"I don't know." Novak said, shaking his head. "But Ville's freaking out. Bad."
"Are you sure you want to go? I can."
Novak shook his head. "I don't think he wants to talk about it. And no one's fucking stupid enough to talk relationships with me. Just call Bam and find out where he is."
* * *
Bam opened the console of the Mercedes, fishing out the pack of cigarettes Ville had left in there. He lit it and inhaled deeply, exhaling as he flipped on his left turn signal. The hand holding the cigarette was shaking like mad and Bam finally pulled over when he dropped the cigarette in the seat.
He fished it out of the seat and opened his door, throwing it out. Then, not knowing he why, he stepped out of the dry interior of his car into the now pouring rain. He leaned against his car and burst into choked sobs.
What did I do? How could he think I wouldn't love him? Did I do something wrong?
"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?"
He let himself slip down the car door until he was sitting in the mud, sobbing into his soaked shirt sleeves.
"What did I do?" he whispered to the falling raindrops.
* * *
Ville was staring out the window, not saying anything as he and Brandon drove down the road, both looking for Bam's black Mercedes. He was fidgetting with the sleeves of the black hoodie that bore his boyfriend's name and fighting tears.
"Have a cigarette."
It was the first thing either of the men in the car had said since Novak came out of the house with keys clutched in his hand.
Ville started slightly at the shock of the sound, but lit a cigarette without a second thought. The man next to him lit one of his own and they both resumed their tense silence.
"The tour's killing us." Ville said suddenly, startled by the sound of himself saying those words out loud.
He wasn't the only one. Novak chanced a glance at him before looking back at the road. "What do you mean?" he asked finally, hoping it was the right thing to say. He flicked on his left turn signal.
Ville didn't say anything for a moment. "I told him I thought he wouldn't love me when I came back."
And now came the reason no one was stupid enough to talk about relationships with Novak. "Of course he is. You guys are so in love it's fucking Hallmark. There's no way he'd just run off and find some other chick. Guy, whatever." He mentally hit himself and shook his head. "Shit. Dude, I didn't mean to say that."
"No." Ville said. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right. Except the Hallmark thing. That's sort of fucked up." He sighed and lit another cigarette. He didn't know why he was saying these things out loud. "I don't know what I'd do if he did." He leaned forward, eyes widened. "Fuck, is that him?" He pointed unnecessarily at the soaked boy kicking the bumper of his Mercedes.
"Yeah." Novak said, just as unncessarily, as he pulled the car over.
Ville threw his door open, dropping his cigarette and his ran to Bam's car. "Bammie?" he said, bottom lip trembling as his boyfriend turned to look at him, eyes bloodshot from crying. "Oh, God, Bammie. Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that." Tears streamed down his cheeks, camoflouged by the raindrops, but Bam knew. Bam always knew.
"I know you wouldn't fall out of love with me." Ville said. "I'm just . . . it's my worst fear, you not wanting me anymore. I know it's bullshit, but . . . I don't know what I'd do without you. God, baby, I'm so sorry. Please, Bammie . . ."
"Please what?" It was impossible to place the emotion in the blue-eyed boy's voice.
"Forgive me?" Ville whimpered, sobbing outright now.
"Ville, I . . ." Bam's voice cracked. He threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck, a kiss forming between their tear-stained lips, the rain washing them of their sins. "I know." he whispered. "I'm afraid of the same thing. I just didn't know if I did something . . . something to make you think that--"
"No." Ville interrupted, kissing Bam's forehead. "Never. It was just fear talking. I know you'd never. And you were right." he added. "The tour is a good idea."
Bam looked at him in shock.
"Look at what it's putting us through." Ville said. "Bammie, if we can get through this we can get through anything." He smiled when his boyfriend did. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
"You're both going to catch fucking pneumonia if you stand there much longer." Novak called, sticking his head out of the driver's side window of his car. Now that the couple had obviously made up, he could return to his cursing, annoying self.
"We don't need a fucking chaperone." Bam yelled back, laughing when Novak gave him the finger and did a U-turn, leaving his friends staring at each other under a dark sky.
"At least the rain didn't suddenly clear up." Ville mumbled under his breath.
"What?" Bam asked.
"Oh, nothing."
With so much effort and these miles to go
bore on your shoulders with your loss of hope
when judgement comes from high above
confess your sins, confess your love
---TBC---
I'm really bad at stretching out the conflict, aren't I? Must be the reason this is now going to be the longest story I've ever written, chapters-wise. The second longest will be 12 or 13 chapters. I can't remember.
And Novak may have been extremely OUT of character for the majority of that chapter, but I love Novak to pieces and I know he's sweet and serious somewhere. Plus, I saw this thing on YouTube that confirmed I'm right, so meh! Teeheeness.
Anyway ...
Flames for me being a pussy and not stretching out the horror?
Part Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romantic drama
Author: druscilla_way
Disclaimer: I bought Bam and Ville on ebay and they live under my bed. And if you're stupid enough to believe that, I'm not going to correct you. Oh, and some dude who's name I'm too lazy to look up owns the song.
Previous chapters in cut.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Even Your Shadow I Miss
Part Eleven
Scatter me across the road
like pieces of broke turn signals
we dance between these dotted lines
and try so hard to save our lives
After a brief moment of 'what the fuck did I just do', Ville tore out of the house in tears, looking every which way for the boy who's heart he had just broken. He swore as he felt the raindrops touch his face.
Great. As if I hadn't just fucked my life up enough, you had to go and make it a damn cliche.
"He took off." Novak said, coming around the side of the house and making Ville levitate about a foot in the air. "Didn't mean to scare you." He would have made a joke, but the look on Bam's face when he stormed into the garage and the look on Ville's face now didn't merit a joke of any form. "You guys have a fight?"
"I wish." Ville said, automatically reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and stopping when he realized he couldn't smoke in the rain.
"Do you . . . I could take you to look for him." Novak offered, knowing Ville wanted to go after Bam, but physically couldn't.
Ville turned, hope etched onto every line in his face. "Could you?" he breathed.
"Yeah, sure. I'll get the keys." Novak walked into the house, feeling slightly unnerved. If it was a fight, it sure as hell wasn't a normal one. That desperate look on Ville's face was making his stomach uneasy.
"Where you going?" April asked, watching her son's friend take a keyring off the hook.
"I'm taking Ville to look for Bam."
"They have a fight?" Ryan asked, looking up from the laptop in front of him.
"I don't know." Novak said, shaking his head. "But Ville's freaking out. Bad."
"Are you sure you want to go? I can."
Novak shook his head. "I don't think he wants to talk about it. And no one's fucking stupid enough to talk relationships with me. Just call Bam and find out where he is."
* * *
Bam opened the console of the Mercedes, fishing out the pack of cigarettes Ville had left in there. He lit it and inhaled deeply, exhaling as he flipped on his left turn signal. The hand holding the cigarette was shaking like mad and Bam finally pulled over when he dropped the cigarette in the seat.
He fished it out of the seat and opened his door, throwing it out. Then, not knowing he why, he stepped out of the dry interior of his car into the now pouring rain. He leaned against his car and burst into choked sobs.
What did I do? How could he think I wouldn't love him? Did I do something wrong?
"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?"
He let himself slip down the car door until he was sitting in the mud, sobbing into his soaked shirt sleeves.
"What did I do?" he whispered to the falling raindrops.
* * *
Ville was staring out the window, not saying anything as he and Brandon drove down the road, both looking for Bam's black Mercedes. He was fidgetting with the sleeves of the black hoodie that bore his boyfriend's name and fighting tears.
"Have a cigarette."
It was the first thing either of the men in the car had said since Novak came out of the house with keys clutched in his hand.
Ville started slightly at the shock of the sound, but lit a cigarette without a second thought. The man next to him lit one of his own and they both resumed their tense silence.
"The tour's killing us." Ville said suddenly, startled by the sound of himself saying those words out loud.
He wasn't the only one. Novak chanced a glance at him before looking back at the road. "What do you mean?" he asked finally, hoping it was the right thing to say. He flicked on his left turn signal.
Ville didn't say anything for a moment. "I told him I thought he wouldn't love me when I came back."
And now came the reason no one was stupid enough to talk about relationships with Novak. "Of course he is. You guys are so in love it's fucking Hallmark. There's no way he'd just run off and find some other chick. Guy, whatever." He mentally hit himself and shook his head. "Shit. Dude, I didn't mean to say that."
"No." Ville said. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right. Except the Hallmark thing. That's sort of fucked up." He sighed and lit another cigarette. He didn't know why he was saying these things out loud. "I don't know what I'd do if he did." He leaned forward, eyes widened. "Fuck, is that him?" He pointed unnecessarily at the soaked boy kicking the bumper of his Mercedes.
"Yeah." Novak said, just as unncessarily, as he pulled the car over.
Ville threw his door open, dropping his cigarette and his ran to Bam's car. "Bammie?" he said, bottom lip trembling as his boyfriend turned to look at him, eyes bloodshot from crying. "Oh, God, Bammie. Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that." Tears streamed down his cheeks, camoflouged by the raindrops, but Bam knew. Bam always knew.
"I know you wouldn't fall out of love with me." Ville said. "I'm just . . . it's my worst fear, you not wanting me anymore. I know it's bullshit, but . . . I don't know what I'd do without you. God, baby, I'm so sorry. Please, Bammie . . ."
"Please what?" It was impossible to place the emotion in the blue-eyed boy's voice.
"Forgive me?" Ville whimpered, sobbing outright now.
"Ville, I . . ." Bam's voice cracked. He threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck, a kiss forming between their tear-stained lips, the rain washing them of their sins. "I know." he whispered. "I'm afraid of the same thing. I just didn't know if I did something . . . something to make you think that--"
"No." Ville interrupted, kissing Bam's forehead. "Never. It was just fear talking. I know you'd never. And you were right." he added. "The tour is a good idea."
Bam looked at him in shock.
"Look at what it's putting us through." Ville said. "Bammie, if we can get through this we can get through anything." He smiled when his boyfriend did. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
"You're both going to catch fucking pneumonia if you stand there much longer." Novak called, sticking his head out of the driver's side window of his car. Now that the couple had obviously made up, he could return to his cursing, annoying self.
"We don't need a fucking chaperone." Bam yelled back, laughing when Novak gave him the finger and did a U-turn, leaving his friends staring at each other under a dark sky.
"At least the rain didn't suddenly clear up." Ville mumbled under his breath.
"What?" Bam asked.
"Oh, nothing."
With so much effort and these miles to go
bore on your shoulders with your loss of hope
when judgement comes from high above
confess your sins, confess your love
---TBC---
I'm really bad at stretching out the conflict, aren't I? Must be the reason this is now going to be the longest story I've ever written, chapters-wise. The second longest will be 12 or 13 chapters. I can't remember.
And Novak may have been extremely OUT of character for the majority of that chapter, but I love Novak to pieces and I know he's sweet and serious somewhere. Plus, I saw this thing on YouTube that confirmed I'm right, so meh! Teeheeness.
Anyway ...
Flames for me being a pussy and not stretching out the horror?