Suffocation
My computer died so I haven't been online since. My stepdad just got back from Florida so we can use his laptop, thank God.
Here's a little one I cooked up.
Title: Suffocation
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Guess
Warnings: Extreme angst
Suffocation
You lied to me. You whispered lies. The lips you kissed me with were poisoned with lies. You poisoned me.
SKIN BRUSHES COOL METAL.
You told me just me forever. Just me and you. You told me you'd never love anyone else with those eyes and your lips bruised from kisses.
HAND CLASPS METAL; GOOSEBUMPS FORM.
Eight months since September, since that kiss in the hotel room after you left her. I cried when you pulled away. I thought I was your reboard and that you'd hate me because I kissed back.
TREMBLING FINGERS OPEN A BOX.
Love me. That's all I ever wanted you to do. You sang to me, you held me, you stared at me. You made me cry to sleep. I made my wrists ache over you.
TREMBLING FINGERS DROP COOL METAL.
You turned away from me for moments. I could see her in your eyes. It didn't matter which one. You were ashamed of me, ashamed that I loved you. I know what I saw in your eyes.
FINGERS SPIN COOL METAL.
And even then I pretended I didn't. I played the role of your stupid whore. I saw everything, the lipstick marks on your shirts, the bruises on your neck. I worshipped you, I loved you. All I ever wanted was you. But it wasn't enough.
COOL METAL BRUSHES SKIN.
You pulled away more and I held on harder, fingernails tearing your flesh. I saw her, I knew her. I hated her for breathing, for sharing the same oxygen you and I breathed when we were together. Oh, those times were so rare but when they existed, when time froze for us . . . I forgot I wanted to hate you.
And then I would remember again. When your phone rang or when you put the ring back on. When you left without your lips brushing my cheek, taking care not to leave behind a single artifact that might expose you, save the smell of liquor.
TONGUE LICKS CHAPPED LIPS.
You stopped calling and I stopped caring. At least about anything other than your existance. I locked the door and someone would lock the door to the cabinet where precious glass bottles of dark colored liquids could make me forget how she was stealing our air straight from our lungs. How she was killing us by simply living. Suffocation through her very existance. A born killer.
MOISTURE FORMS ON COOL SKIN.
When I opened the door I saw a world I didn't remember, faces I couldn't match names to, people who claimed to be so happy to see me. Yet I didn't remember anything but your name, your face . . . and our suffocation. Every second I felt the oxygen leaving the atmosphere. Soon she would kill you and you would forget me entirely.
FINGERS SLIP ON COOL METAL.
I got a phone call, your number on the device. Her voice pouring into my ear. I don't know what she said. All I heard was the sound of metal breaking under my four hundred dollar shoes. I was starving for oxygen. I cried, I screamed, I tore at my skin with fingernails painted black in mourning for you. You were dying. And no one could save you. No one knew. A cancer eating away at you from the inside, invisible and deadly.
EYES CLOSE.
I refused to be her victim. I refused to watch her kill you slowly, painfully, my eyes unable to stare into yours, unable to hold your hand as you took your final breaths. I couldn't bear to watch it happen, couldn't bare the thought of you gone, deprived of oxygen.
FINGER PULLS TRIGGER.
Suffocation.
TWO ARMS CATCH HIM AS HE FALLS.
*
I screamed. I kissed him on the lips, the cheek, the forehead, his bloody temple, crying through the blood on my face, wiping away nothing with the blood on my hands, the hands that may as well have pulled the damn trigger.
I tried so hard to kiss it better, like I did the night he came to me crying. All the nights he came to me crying. Desperate feverish kisses fueled solely by the love you feel for someone else. No thought of yourself, of carnal pleasure. I only wanted you better.
But kisses couldn't fix shit this time.
FINGER PULLS THE TRIGGER.
I kissed his lips one last time.
. . . blue eyes close forever.
Here's a little one I cooked up.
Title: Suffocation
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Guess
Warnings: Extreme angst
Suffocation
You lied to me. You whispered lies. The lips you kissed me with were poisoned with lies. You poisoned me.
SKIN BRUSHES COOL METAL.
You told me just me forever. Just me and you. You told me you'd never love anyone else with those eyes and your lips bruised from kisses.
HAND CLASPS METAL; GOOSEBUMPS FORM.
Eight months since September, since that kiss in the hotel room after you left her. I cried when you pulled away. I thought I was your reboard and that you'd hate me because I kissed back.
TREMBLING FINGERS OPEN A BOX.
Love me. That's all I ever wanted you to do. You sang to me, you held me, you stared at me. You made me cry to sleep. I made my wrists ache over you.
TREMBLING FINGERS DROP COOL METAL.
You turned away from me for moments. I could see her in your eyes. It didn't matter which one. You were ashamed of me, ashamed that I loved you. I know what I saw in your eyes.
FINGERS SPIN COOL METAL.
And even then I pretended I didn't. I played the role of your stupid whore. I saw everything, the lipstick marks on your shirts, the bruises on your neck. I worshipped you, I loved you. All I ever wanted was you. But it wasn't enough.
COOL METAL BRUSHES SKIN.
You pulled away more and I held on harder, fingernails tearing your flesh. I saw her, I knew her. I hated her for breathing, for sharing the same oxygen you and I breathed when we were together. Oh, those times were so rare but when they existed, when time froze for us . . . I forgot I wanted to hate you.
And then I would remember again. When your phone rang or when you put the ring back on. When you left without your lips brushing my cheek, taking care not to leave behind a single artifact that might expose you, save the smell of liquor.
TONGUE LICKS CHAPPED LIPS.
You stopped calling and I stopped caring. At least about anything other than your existance. I locked the door and someone would lock the door to the cabinet where precious glass bottles of dark colored liquids could make me forget how she was stealing our air straight from our lungs. How she was killing us by simply living. Suffocation through her very existance. A born killer.
MOISTURE FORMS ON COOL SKIN.
When I opened the door I saw a world I didn't remember, faces I couldn't match names to, people who claimed to be so happy to see me. Yet I didn't remember anything but your name, your face . . . and our suffocation. Every second I felt the oxygen leaving the atmosphere. Soon she would kill you and you would forget me entirely.
FINGERS SLIP ON COOL METAL.
I got a phone call, your number on the device. Her voice pouring into my ear. I don't know what she said. All I heard was the sound of metal breaking under my four hundred dollar shoes. I was starving for oxygen. I cried, I screamed, I tore at my skin with fingernails painted black in mourning for you. You were dying. And no one could save you. No one knew. A cancer eating away at you from the inside, invisible and deadly.
EYES CLOSE.
I refused to be her victim. I refused to watch her kill you slowly, painfully, my eyes unable to stare into yours, unable to hold your hand as you took your final breaths. I couldn't bear to watch it happen, couldn't bare the thought of you gone, deprived of oxygen.
FINGER PULLS TRIGGER.
Suffocation.
TWO ARMS CATCH HIM AS HE FALLS.
*
I screamed. I kissed him on the lips, the cheek, the forehead, his bloody temple, crying through the blood on my face, wiping away nothing with the blood on my hands, the hands that may as well have pulled the damn trigger.
I tried so hard to kiss it better, like I did the night he came to me crying. All the nights he came to me crying. Desperate feverish kisses fueled solely by the love you feel for someone else. No thought of yourself, of carnal pleasure. I only wanted you better.
But kisses couldn't fix shit this time.
FINGER PULLS THE TRIGGER.
I kissed his lips one last time.
. . . blue eyes close forever.