alatariel3
in
__vam
Killing Loneliness
Time for an update!
Yeah...so, I don't have anything to say...that's a bit weird.
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5
Edit: Sorry, I forgot to delete part of my Beta's comments. I fixed it and am apologizing to anyone it might have confused.
“Shit!” Bam yelled as he realized he was falling and that he was going to get serious pavement burn on his face if he didn’t do something. He flung his hands out, catching himself. Then he yelled in pain, having forgotten that his wrist was sprained and landing on it. He rolled onto his side, most of his body throbbing in pain, and just lay still, recovering.
“Bam!”
Bam lifted his head and looked toward the house. Damnit, that was Ape.
“Bam, I know I’m not seeing what I’m seeing.”
Bam sat up, trying not to give away how badly he was hurting. “Uh--”
“Don’t,” April said, leaning down and taking his chin in her hand, turning his face to the side. “What did you hit your head on?”
Bam shrugged with his uninjured shoulder, lifting his fingers up, surprised when his head stung and the digits came away bloody.
April sighed, helping him up and picking up his skateboard. “Bam, I told you yesterday after you sprained your wrist that you needed to quit skateboarding for a day or two.”
Bam shrugged guiltily. He hadn’t meant to worry her. He started to walk toward the house with her but the first bit of weight on his right leg made his whole body twinge in pain, and when he set all his weight down his knee gave up.
With a yelp of surprise Bam went down, shouting in pain as first his knee, then his hand hit the ground.
April was immediately there, steadying him and keeping from falling face first into the dirt. “Are you okay?”
Bam shook his head, his breath hitching in pain. April pulled him up again and this time kept a hold of him, supporting most of his weight as they walked to the house.
“Besides your wrist, knee, and head, what else hurts?” she asked.
Bam thought for a second. “My side and my right shoulder. Actually I think the whole right side of my body is pretty fucked up.”
They eventually made it to the bathroom and she made him sit on the edge of the bath, helping him pull off his shirt. First she cleaned up his head and put a band aid over the scraped part, then she got some frozen peas, putting one of the bags on his wrist, the other on his knee. He sat still while she inspected his side which was bruised from his shoulder to his thigh.
“Your tattoo looks funny with the skin beneath it all different colours.”
Bam shrugged again. He didn’t really care.
Ape went and found his knee brace and got it on him, then checked out his wrist before declaring him fit to move and helping him to the kitchen. She placed a plate of oven fresh cookies in front of him, then poured two tall glasses of milk before sitting next to him.
Bam dunked a cookie into his milk and looked expectantly at his mother. “What?” he asked when she didn’t immediately start questioning him.
She sighed, taking one of the cookies and taking a small bite. “What’s wrong, Bam?”
Bam shrugged. He wasn’t prepared to be completely honest with her but this was Ape and he thought that maybe he needed some advice. “I…I think I might have fucked up,” he admitted before taking a bite of soggy cookie.
Ape looked a little surprised. She hadn’t been expecting such an honest answer, however vague it was. “How do you mean?”
Bam delayed, drinking some of his milk. “I did something stupid. As usual.”
April reached over and pushed some of his curls out of his face. “Do you mean with Ryan?”
Bam’s heart rate tripled. How could she…?
“I’ve notice he hasn’t been around in days.”
Bam calmed; it was just motherly intuition or whatever. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I…I think I fucked things up between us.”
April took another cookie, dunking it in his milk and taking a bite. “Have you tried calling him, seeing what’s up?”
Bam shook his head. “I want to give him some space. Time to work things out, you know? Besides, that’s not the only thing, just the latest.”
April frowned. “The latest thing you’ve done to upset Ryan? Bam, honey, Ryan’s been friends with you for years, I don’t think you could do anything that would be bad enough to make him just take off.”
“No,” Bam said miserably. “The latest thing I’ve done to fuck everything up.”
Bam abandoned the rest of his cookies and rubbed his wrist under the brace where it was itching.
“Oh, Bam,” April said, “I thought everything was going well for you. You’re on Jackass, you just toured all over Europe doing skate competitions, Jess’s band has really taken off, you and Jenn have been so happy.” She listed everything she could think of off hand that she thought would make him happy, not realizing that two of those things were part of the cause of his present misery. Ape stood, ruffling her youngest son’s curls and leaning down to kiss his forehead. She was a little concerned, he seemed very down and it had been a long time since he had let her be so affectionate with him but she didn’t think anything was seriously wrong, especially not if Ryan came back. She made a mental note to call Ryan’s mother and see how he was doing.
“Do you want to help me with dinner?” April asked.
Bam stood, wincing a little as he put weight on his knee but it didn’t seem as bad as before. He chopped vegetables and made a salad, then set the table. He had just put the salad on the table when Phil came in.
“Ape? You’ve already set the table? I was going to help.” Phil sat down at the table, slightly winded from walking down the stairs.
April came in, smiling and carrying a pan of lasagna. “That’s alright,” she said, kissing Bam’s cheek before setting the pan down on the table.
Dinner was quiet and relaxed, just the three of them, and Bam even helped with the dishes, making April a little more worried. He was in the living room, watching TV with Phil, when the doorbell rang.
“Come in!” Bam called.
Ryan looked nervous as he stepped into the house. Bam struggled to stand from the couch, his muscles stiff from sitting still for so long. Bam was overjoyed to finally see his friend but unwilling to show his feelings until Ryan had bared his. They went out to the mini ramp to talk so Phil and April couldn’t hear what they were discussing.
“Did my mom call yours?” Bam asked, reclining against the curve of the ramp.
Ryan shrugged. “My mom was threatening to call Ape if I didn’t quit acting strange. It’s funny, she’s spent twenty years trying to get me to act normal but when I finally do she flips out.”
Bam nodded. “Yeah, I think I freaked April out too.”
Ryan laughed. “How? Trying to kill yourself?”
Bam looked down at himself, bandages and braves clearly visible. “Yeah, and acting weird too,” he laughed.
Ryan laughed again but then he looked uneasy. “Yeah, speaking of acting weird…”
Nervously Bam looked at his friend. “Yeah?”
“I, uh, I worked some shit out and we’re still cool as far as I’m concerned, but I guess you might need to know I don’t see you that way.”
Bam nodded. “Neither do I. See you that way, I mean.”
Ryan frowned. “Why did you…do that then?”
Bam shrugged. “I wanted to see something. See what kissing another guy besides…see what kissing another guy felt like. And I was drunk.”
Ryan nodded and a light blush spread over his cheeks, mostly hidden by the beginnings of a beard. “What was it like? To you I mean.”
Bam thought seriously for a second. “Kissing you…it was a lot like kissing Jenn.”
Ryan looked very disturbed. “Like Jenn?” he repeated, his voice squeaking a little.
Bam nodded. “It was nice enough but…I didn’t really get turned on by it. I didn’t really feel much at all over it.”
Ryan looked confused. “But if it’s like kissing Jenn…and you didn’t feel anything…you don’t feel anything for Jenn? And you had to kiss me to figure that out!”
Bam knew he wasn’t expressing himself well. “No, I mean…I wanted to see if to me all guys were like--" He cut himself off, eyes going wide. That was the second time he’d almost said Ville’s name.
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know man, this is too weird.”
Bam’s stomach lurched; he did not want to lose Ryan.
“Let’s just drop it, okay?” the redhead requested.
Bam exhaled in relief. “Yeah, sure.”
A/N: A question: what does OTP mean?
Yeah...so, I don't have anything to say...that's a bit weird.
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5
Edit: Sorry, I forgot to delete part of my Beta's comments. I fixed it and am apologizing to anyone it might have confused.
“Shit!” Bam yelled as he realized he was falling and that he was going to get serious pavement burn on his face if he didn’t do something. He flung his hands out, catching himself. Then he yelled in pain, having forgotten that his wrist was sprained and landing on it. He rolled onto his side, most of his body throbbing in pain, and just lay still, recovering.
“Bam!”
Bam lifted his head and looked toward the house. Damnit, that was Ape.
“Bam, I know I’m not seeing what I’m seeing.”
Bam sat up, trying not to give away how badly he was hurting. “Uh--”
“Don’t,” April said, leaning down and taking his chin in her hand, turning his face to the side. “What did you hit your head on?”
Bam shrugged with his uninjured shoulder, lifting his fingers up, surprised when his head stung and the digits came away bloody.
April sighed, helping him up and picking up his skateboard. “Bam, I told you yesterday after you sprained your wrist that you needed to quit skateboarding for a day or two.”
Bam shrugged guiltily. He hadn’t meant to worry her. He started to walk toward the house with her but the first bit of weight on his right leg made his whole body twinge in pain, and when he set all his weight down his knee gave up.
With a yelp of surprise Bam went down, shouting in pain as first his knee, then his hand hit the ground.
April was immediately there, steadying him and keeping from falling face first into the dirt. “Are you okay?”
Bam shook his head, his breath hitching in pain. April pulled him up again and this time kept a hold of him, supporting most of his weight as they walked to the house.
“Besides your wrist, knee, and head, what else hurts?” she asked.
Bam thought for a second. “My side and my right shoulder. Actually I think the whole right side of my body is pretty fucked up.”
They eventually made it to the bathroom and she made him sit on the edge of the bath, helping him pull off his shirt. First she cleaned up his head and put a band aid over the scraped part, then she got some frozen peas, putting one of the bags on his wrist, the other on his knee. He sat still while she inspected his side which was bruised from his shoulder to his thigh.
“Your tattoo looks funny with the skin beneath it all different colours.”
Bam shrugged again. He didn’t really care.
Ape went and found his knee brace and got it on him, then checked out his wrist before declaring him fit to move and helping him to the kitchen. She placed a plate of oven fresh cookies in front of him, then poured two tall glasses of milk before sitting next to him.
Bam dunked a cookie into his milk and looked expectantly at his mother. “What?” he asked when she didn’t immediately start questioning him.
She sighed, taking one of the cookies and taking a small bite. “What’s wrong, Bam?”
Bam shrugged. He wasn’t prepared to be completely honest with her but this was Ape and he thought that maybe he needed some advice. “I…I think I might have fucked up,” he admitted before taking a bite of soggy cookie.
Ape looked a little surprised. She hadn’t been expecting such an honest answer, however vague it was. “How do you mean?”
Bam delayed, drinking some of his milk. “I did something stupid. As usual.”
April reached over and pushed some of his curls out of his face. “Do you mean with Ryan?”
Bam’s heart rate tripled. How could she…?
“I’ve notice he hasn’t been around in days.”
Bam calmed; it was just motherly intuition or whatever. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I…I think I fucked things up between us.”
April took another cookie, dunking it in his milk and taking a bite. “Have you tried calling him, seeing what’s up?”
Bam shook his head. “I want to give him some space. Time to work things out, you know? Besides, that’s not the only thing, just the latest.”
April frowned. “The latest thing you’ve done to upset Ryan? Bam, honey, Ryan’s been friends with you for years, I don’t think you could do anything that would be bad enough to make him just take off.”
“No,” Bam said miserably. “The latest thing I’ve done to fuck everything up.”
Bam abandoned the rest of his cookies and rubbed his wrist under the brace where it was itching.
“Oh, Bam,” April said, “I thought everything was going well for you. You’re on Jackass, you just toured all over Europe doing skate competitions, Jess’s band has really taken off, you and Jenn have been so happy.” She listed everything she could think of off hand that she thought would make him happy, not realizing that two of those things were part of the cause of his present misery. Ape stood, ruffling her youngest son’s curls and leaning down to kiss his forehead. She was a little concerned, he seemed very down and it had been a long time since he had let her be so affectionate with him but she didn’t think anything was seriously wrong, especially not if Ryan came back. She made a mental note to call Ryan’s mother and see how he was doing.
“Do you want to help me with dinner?” April asked.
Bam stood, wincing a little as he put weight on his knee but it didn’t seem as bad as before. He chopped vegetables and made a salad, then set the table. He had just put the salad on the table when Phil came in.
“Ape? You’ve already set the table? I was going to help.” Phil sat down at the table, slightly winded from walking down the stairs.
April came in, smiling and carrying a pan of lasagna. “That’s alright,” she said, kissing Bam’s cheek before setting the pan down on the table.
Dinner was quiet and relaxed, just the three of them, and Bam even helped with the dishes, making April a little more worried. He was in the living room, watching TV with Phil, when the doorbell rang.
“Come in!” Bam called.
Ryan looked nervous as he stepped into the house. Bam struggled to stand from the couch, his muscles stiff from sitting still for so long. Bam was overjoyed to finally see his friend but unwilling to show his feelings until Ryan had bared his. They went out to the mini ramp to talk so Phil and April couldn’t hear what they were discussing.
“Did my mom call yours?” Bam asked, reclining against the curve of the ramp.
Ryan shrugged. “My mom was threatening to call Ape if I didn’t quit acting strange. It’s funny, she’s spent twenty years trying to get me to act normal but when I finally do she flips out.”
Bam nodded. “Yeah, I think I freaked April out too.”
Ryan laughed. “How? Trying to kill yourself?”
Bam looked down at himself, bandages and braves clearly visible. “Yeah, and acting weird too,” he laughed.
Ryan laughed again but then he looked uneasy. “Yeah, speaking of acting weird…”
Nervously Bam looked at his friend. “Yeah?”
“I, uh, I worked some shit out and we’re still cool as far as I’m concerned, but I guess you might need to know I don’t see you that way.”
Bam nodded. “Neither do I. See you that way, I mean.”
Ryan frowned. “Why did you…do that then?”
Bam shrugged. “I wanted to see something. See what kissing another guy besides…see what kissing another guy felt like. And I was drunk.”
Ryan nodded and a light blush spread over his cheeks, mostly hidden by the beginnings of a beard. “What was it like? To you I mean.”
Bam thought seriously for a second. “Kissing you…it was a lot like kissing Jenn.”
Ryan looked very disturbed. “Like Jenn?” he repeated, his voice squeaking a little.
Bam nodded. “It was nice enough but…I didn’t really get turned on by it. I didn’t really feel much at all over it.”
Ryan looked confused. “But if it’s like kissing Jenn…and you didn’t feel anything…you don’t feel anything for Jenn? And you had to kiss me to figure that out!”
Bam knew he wasn’t expressing himself well. “No, I mean…I wanted to see if to me all guys were like--" He cut himself off, eyes going wide. That was the second time he’d almost said Ville’s name.
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know man, this is too weird.”
Bam’s stomach lurched; he did not want to lose Ryan.
“Let’s just drop it, okay?” the redhead requested.
Bam exhaled in relief. “Yeah, sure.”
A/N: A question: what does OTP mean?