Vam snipet
Title: Untitled
Author: Me
Pairing: Bam/Ville
Raiting: PG-13
POV: Bam
Everything’s falling apart...everything. You seem so distant lately that you don’t even know where you are. Last night you screamed at me. Called me a whore because I gave my best friend a hug. He’s my best friend, we always hug, always. But you saw and thought there was something more there, though you know I would never leave you and never hurt you. Tonight, tonight you really hurt me. Tonight you actually back handed me...you raised a hand to me. You did the one thing you said that you would never do...you hurt me.
Now as Im upstairs, locked away in the bathroom there’s only one way to get rid of the pain. I open the cabinet, and slowly dig behind all the pills to find my trusty razor. The one thing that will never leave me, the only thing that ever loved me. I stare at it for a while, realizing its been almost 6 months since the last time this happened. But you never found out, you never saw the cuts on the insides of my thighs. I take a deep breath, roll up my sleeve this time, and slowly release the pain.
As the blade dances over my wrist in a slow motion, I feel the familiar trickle glide down my wrist. But just once is not enough, it never is. So I repeat the motion, again and again. Soon, you can only see red in the middle of the heart that is supposed to be ours. I continue to drag it until I realize I still have some vicodine from my last skating injury. Yes...that’s what I need, more escape.
I reject my razor and dig through the cabinet once more. Finally, I find them...my little tablets of joy. I wonder how many I should take. The bottle says 1 to 2 tablets, but I know that wouldn’t be enough to kill this pain. I open them up and pop 4, I think that should do it. With an unsteady hand, I fill a glass a water and slowly swallow them back.
The familiar relaxation and feeling of nothingness soon overcomes me, and I sit against the wall. My wrists are still bleeding, but I cut so many times I figure its taking longer to scab. That’s when I hear the whimper behind me. I turn around to see you, to see the hurt in your eyes. "Why? Why baby? Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you want to hurt yourself? Are you...are you still bleeding?"
Sure enough I look down in a haze, and realize there is a small pool of blood forming on the floor. I look back up only to see tears in your eyes. "Im sorry....so sorry. You hurt me...and I wanted to take away the hurt." As the tears come stumbling out of your eyes, I can feel them pricking against my own. It was the only way...it was the only way to stop the pain for a while, so I can stand you for one more day. Because now that you started to hurt me, I know its not the last time.
Author: Me
Pairing: Bam/Ville
Raiting: PG-13
POV: Bam
Everything’s falling apart...everything. You seem so distant lately that you don’t even know where you are. Last night you screamed at me. Called me a whore because I gave my best friend a hug. He’s my best friend, we always hug, always. But you saw and thought there was something more there, though you know I would never leave you and never hurt you. Tonight, tonight you really hurt me. Tonight you actually back handed me...you raised a hand to me. You did the one thing you said that you would never do...you hurt me.
Now as Im upstairs, locked away in the bathroom there’s only one way to get rid of the pain. I open the cabinet, and slowly dig behind all the pills to find my trusty razor. The one thing that will never leave me, the only thing that ever loved me. I stare at it for a while, realizing its been almost 6 months since the last time this happened. But you never found out, you never saw the cuts on the insides of my thighs. I take a deep breath, roll up my sleeve this time, and slowly release the pain.
As the blade dances over my wrist in a slow motion, I feel the familiar trickle glide down my wrist. But just once is not enough, it never is. So I repeat the motion, again and again. Soon, you can only see red in the middle of the heart that is supposed to be ours. I continue to drag it until I realize I still have some vicodine from my last skating injury. Yes...that’s what I need, more escape.
I reject my razor and dig through the cabinet once more. Finally, I find them...my little tablets of joy. I wonder how many I should take. The bottle says 1 to 2 tablets, but I know that wouldn’t be enough to kill this pain. I open them up and pop 4, I think that should do it. With an unsteady hand, I fill a glass a water and slowly swallow them back.
The familiar relaxation and feeling of nothingness soon overcomes me, and I sit against the wall. My wrists are still bleeding, but I cut so many times I figure its taking longer to scab. That’s when I hear the whimper behind me. I turn around to see you, to see the hurt in your eyes. "Why? Why baby? Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you want to hurt yourself? Are you...are you still bleeding?"
Sure enough I look down in a haze, and realize there is a small pool of blood forming on the floor. I look back up only to see tears in your eyes. "Im sorry....so sorry. You hurt me...and I wanted to take away the hurt." As the tears come stumbling out of your eyes, I can feel them pricking against my own. It was the only way...it was the only way to stop the pain for a while, so I can stand you for one more day. Because now that you started to hurt me, I know its not the last time.