Fic: "Crash Against The Floor" Chapter 8/10

[apostrophee]

This is dedicated to my lovely Nina also known as  insomnia_reigns   because I adore her madly! From New Jersey to Australia, you are loved! I'm going to try to have the remaining two chapters posted soon, but my wrist has been acting up so I don't know if I can work through the pain.

Title: "Crash Against The Floor" Chapter 8/10
Word Count: 2,445
Author:  caramel_maddy
Characters: Ville and Bam mainly along with almost anyone associated with them.
Story Summary: He knew something was wrong---off about the three men in the bar. He knew it, but instead of following his gut and leaving, he stayed to have just one more beer and with that final sip, Ville's life was changed forever.
Warning: Very, very, very dark themes. Non-consensual, angst and drama.

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS
  (Chapter One)       (Chapter Two)   (Chapter Three)

(Chapter Four)   (Chapter Five)





Crash Against The Floor

CHAPTER EIGHT

Ville always thought that Autumns in Philadelphia were quite possibly one of the most beautiful sights he could ever see. The vibrant colors against a dry landscape and the way the wind would blow always made him think that if he ever decided to move to America, he’d move straight to Pennsylvania. The leaves had long fallen off the trees leaving their limbs bare and stretching high up into the purple sky. He could smell mint leaves as he peered out of the cracked window of the tour bus, watching the way the lights of shops danced past his vision in speedy blurs of yellows, blues, greens and reds. An old woman waved to him when they stopped at a stop light and Ville smiled as he dangled his fingers politely at her. He knew she probably had no clue who he was, but figured that he must have been someone important because of what he was riding in.

“So, are you excited to be seeing your lover again!” Mige teased with a smile on his face as he took a seat next to him on the small leather bench.

“Shut up! He‘s just my friend and you know it! You were my only lover!” Ville laughed in response as he fished around in his pocket, pulling out a cigarette. He held the small white stick in between his rose colored lips, leaning forward for Mige to light it. Cupping his fingers around the flame, Mige brought the lighter to Ville’s cigarette, but pulled away just before igniting it.

“I was never your lover! Perhaps your wanking buddy, but never your lover and we were thirteen so that’s not upholding!”

“Well I was thirteen and you were a pervy older man! Maybe it doesn’t count, now would you light my smoke!” Ville laughed in response and Mige complied. He watched as Ville closed his eyes, bringing one leg underneath his body as he pulled his black sweater close to his body. He watched the way Ville brought the cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply before exhaling soft puffs of gray billows and he didn‘t mean to stare, but he couldn‘t help himself. There was just so much to read on Ville’s face…..so much that he couldn’t read. He was like a novel with no words. Ville opened his eyes with a start almost surprising Mige. “What are you looking at?”, he continued as he took another drag.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re looking a little dog chewed around the edges man. Are you ready to talk about what’s wrong?” Mige asked quietly. As the days had past into weeks he had watched the way Ville was changing. He was pulling away from everyone else and drawing inside of himself. He observed the way Ville barely ate and hardly slept and although their performances had been great--stellar even, when the stage lights faded and it was time for them to go back to being their normal everyday selves, Ville would close himself off. It had always been a sort of ritual to go out and drink at local pubs after ever gig, but Ville wouldn’t go. He would either say he was too tired to or wouldn’t say anything at all. His best friend was changing into someone that scared him because it was someone he didn‘t know.

“No.” Ville stated dryly, the smoke he was inhaling tugging his speech as he stared out of the window, continuing to watch the lights of Philadelphia whirl by.

“Alright…….” Mige replied, voice deep and unsure as he stood up to leave.

“Stay.” Ville whispered, still avoiding eye contact. Mige sat back down, watching as Ville inhaled and exhaled his cigarette. His eyes looked dull and the lines and shadows of black around them made him appear sick, but Mige knew that whatever sickness Ville was suffering from would continue to eat away at him until he opened up to someone.

Mige was no fool and neither were any of his other band mates. It was easy to put two and two together and they realized Ville’s change started taking place right after their Minneapolis gig…..the gig where Ville almost missed because someone had drugged and robbed him. Mige and Linde had plenty of secret conversations as to what dreadful thing they thought could have happened to Ville, but they kept their thoughts between themselves, all the while hoping they were wrong and praying that if they were right, Ville would talk about it because not talking about was worse than denying it. To deny is to lie and to lie is like killing yourself and they didn‘t want to watch Ville torture himself anymore than he seemed to already be doing.

After nine hours of driving they had finally reached the desolate back roads that would lead them to Bam’s estate. It was right in the middle of nowhere, sandwiched between a creek and a farm. Linde had called Bam ahead of time to warn him they were coming and to open the gates so they could pull the tour bus in. Ville wasn’t nervous to see Bam, more like apprehensive and like he should keep his guard up. All the lights were on at his house and the mumbled hum of music playing thumped into their ears as they walked up the path to the house. Ville sighed to himself with the thought that Bam was having a party which in turn meant that he knew he wouldn’t be able to just go straight to bed like he wanted to. What he didn’t expect was to see Missy running out of the house crying with Bam chasing after her as soon as he reached the front door.

“Missy! Come here!” Bam yelled, brushing past him and the rest of the band.

“No Bam, how could you fucking do that to me!” She yelled, her eyes glistening against the darkness of the sky.

“She kissed me! I didn’t fucking kiss her back!”

“Yeah fucking right! I saw you with your tongue down her throat!” Missy continued to yell, fumbling around in her pocketbook until she found a set of keys.

“Why the hell do you always get so fucking sensitive! She’s not my girlfriend, YOU are!” He yelled back and Ville’s chest tightened with hearing how Bam seemed to be fighting for her.

“I’m not being sensitive! You know what, I’m leaving!” She grunted as she hopped inside of her escalade--Ville was sure that Bam had bought it, and drove off. Bam stood there for a moment, mouth gaping open in disbelief as he watched her speed down the road.

“Well fuck you! Bitch!” He yelled. “I can’t believe she just left.” Bam continued turning towards Ville.

“What happened?” Linde asked softly.

“Some random chick in there just came up and started frenching me! Missy walks over, slaps her, smacks me and then leaves. Jeez, I can’t deal with this shit!”

“I take it there’s a party going on in there?” Ville asked, not caring to hear any more talk about her. Bam turned to him and smiled as he threw his arm around his slender shoulders, leading him into the house.

“Yup and it’s in your honor Willa!”

*********************

He always stayed in the bedroom with the green paint on the walls. It was the only spare one right next to Bam’s. That’s just how things had always been because Bam knew that Ville loved the color green---oddly, it seemed to relax him. He sat there pretending he was having a good time watching Gas attempt to entertain two overly done up women who looked more like girls in tight clothing. Burton and Linde had long gone to bed and Mige went to the hobbit hole with Dico and Ville knew it was probably to smoke a joint. The house wasn’t very crowded, maybe a good fifteen people or so, all of them either drunk or nearly drunk and the pungent smell of the beer around him made him want to puke. It had been almost a month since he’d last consumed any alcohol. Almost a month since….it had happened and not a day nor night past when he didn’t think about. He usually tried to avoid things that would make him remember, that was why he stopped drinking, that was why he stopped sleeping in hotel rooms and on nights when he had to, he wouldn’t sleep on the beds. That was why he stopped wearing his tight, black velvet pants because any and everything that would make him remember the horrors of that day had to be done away with.

He sat there laughing at some story Novak was telling---something about how he was taking a shit and smelling pussy on his cock. A vulgar and disgusting story, but one that made Ville laugh. Bam was drunkenly talking to a petite brunette with eyes like iced green fire and Ville tried to push away his jealousy, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t so he told Bam that he was tired and wanted to go to sleep.

“Oh no man, come on! The night is young and I am drunk!” Bam slurred, laying his head against the brunette’s shoulder and laughing. Ville smiled at how innocently sweet Bam seemed.

“I know, but I’m tired. We have four days off and there’s plenty of time for parties! Good night man!” He replied, attempting to walk away.

“Oh, you’re no fun. Heather, Willa’s being a party pooper!” Bam sighed, turning his attention to the girl who’s shoulder his head was propped against.

“You said poop!” She laughed and Ville walked up the stairs, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

The door to his normal bedroom was locked. He cursed as he went up the second flight of stairs where he knew three other spare bedrooms were. He opened one door, content on just wanting to sleep, only to find Seth, one of Bam’s on again, off again, roommates already asleep. He tried another door, but it was obvious from the thick stench of cheap cologne and the disarray of the room that it was Novak’s. He tried one last door, hoping and praying that it wasn’t occupied because all Ville wanted to do was sleep. He seemed to be doing a lot of that as of late and it was the only thing that made him feel safe……until the nightmares came.

Dreams…..he missed them. Dreams were pleasant, hopeful and would make you feel good, at ease about life. Dreams made for a good nights rest and dreams were beautiful. But he rarely had dreams anymore. No, he had nightmares. Nightmares are black, nightmares are decayed and nightmares cause tension…..…tension so thick that sometimes it made it hard to breathe. Nightmares had cold hands and rough fingers jabbing at thoughts he couldn’t remember, but worst of all nightmares are what was killing him….eating away at his mind, body and he was afraid that they would keep picking and picking until there would be nothing left.

He sighed as he closed the bedroom door back in haste. He didn’t expect to see the sight of two sweaty bodies fucking loudly without a care to the world and he certainly didn’t expect it to be two girls. He felt like he was in a house of depravity. He knew that Linde was bunking with Mige and Burton was already asleep on the couches in the living room with Gas so he went to the only place he knew he could get some sleep in. He went into Bam’s bedroom.

His bedroom smelled of vanilla candles and freshly vacuumed carpet and Ville smiled as he thought about how much of a neat freak Bam secretly was. He kicked off his heavy black sneakers and thought about just crashing on the plushy white couch tucked away in the corner, but his back felt too tight and his shoulders too sore to even bring himself to fall anywhere else other than Bam’s big, comfortable bed---with the black blanket and pink heartagram’s all over. He didn’t even bother to turn off the light before his eyes shut, allowing sleep to take over and hoping that he would have dreams.

************************

He felt a warm hand tracing the side of his rib. He could smell warm vanilla and apricot shampoo as he felt a dip in the mattress. He felt someone moving closer to him, the electric touches on his side slowly turning into gentle pinches. Ville smiled, keeping his eyes closed knowing that he was dreaming about Bam again. He felt someone leaning in, their breath warm and reeking of booze. He almost flinched away, but before he could the softest pair of lips he had ever felt touch his before pulling away quickly. Ville licked his lips, savoring the touch and wanting to feel it again. The dip in the mattress left and Ville opened his eyes just in time to see Bam about to walk out of the room.

“Where are you going?” He asked groggily, unsure as to whether he had just had a dream or if in fact Bam had kissed him.

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY BED?” Bam asked angrily, alarming Ville. He sat up and rolled his eyes as he fished around in his pocket for his smokes.

“I was tired and every other room was otherwise occupied. Like we’ve never shared a bed before….” Ville mumbled, bringing the cigarette to his lips.

“No fucking smoking in my bedroom dip shit!” Bam muttered as he sat on the bed, ripping the cigarettes out of his lips.

“Alright well then I’m going outside for a smoke then.” He replied, slightly bothered by how Bam was acting, but too tired to probe. His hand was on the door knob when Bam spoke again.

“You confuse me…..” He whispered and Ville didn’t bother to turn around.

“I can say the same for you.”

“Do you remember it?” He whispered again and Ville’s chest quelled as he heartbeats began to pound, thumping and slamming against his chest as butterflies tied intricate knots in his stomach.

“Remember what?” Ville asked, knowing exactly what Bam meant.

“At…..at…..that night at the mansion when I……when I……never mind.” Bam replied and Ville took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door, walking out of it slowly closing it behind him. He rushed down the stairs, ignoring the stagnant odor of booze and opened the front door, letting the cold November air brush against his face and he told himself to that for once, it was okay not to breathe……….

To Be Continued......

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!

To anyone who cares, you can find all of my slash stories stored in my writing journal maddys_slash but the majority of those stories are Bam/Ryan Dunn or Ryan Dunn/Brandon Novak and various other Viva La Bam/Cky guys and only a few other Vam stories.