So I was taking a walk in the woods, just enjoying the snow and a nice cigarette when I thought of Ville doing the same... and this little drabble sort of popped up.
So I thought I'd post it for you all. :)
Ville Valo sat in a quiet awe at his surroundings. Hair was messily thrown over his face, no thought or order to it as cool jade eyes scanned the scenery from behind kohl-rimmed lashes. Delicate snowflakes drifted in the wind, whipping this way and that as they found their place among their brothers.
So this is what silence is like… He thought to himself as a spidery finger pawed through his thin coat pocket. When his finger tip brushed against cool metal he knew he’d found what he was looking for, slowly pulling out a pack of cigarettes and their lighter.
He pulled a fag from the pack, gripping it slightly with his left hand as he brought the small flame to the end. He took a long drag, igniting the tip and sucking in the nicotine just waiting to be released. Along with the smoke he breathed out a long sigh, watching the wispy gray dance among the falling snow.
He liked it here. It almost reminded him of his house in Finland… the cold, the snow, the eerie sort of calm one got from simply taking a walk through the woods. He leaned back against the haggard little shed he’d found, giving it a thoughtful glance as he wondered absently why it was here and who had forgotten it. Surely, it had been forgotten. The roof was falling in as the wind blew more snow between the gaping holes; the floor was no more than a bed of nails covered with broken glass from the windows. He’d have to ask Bam about it when he got back to the house, though he doubted the skater knew anymore about it than he did.
He looked down to his knees, frowning slightly at how they were pulled together. He’d had problems with them ever since he was a child… not that they were painful but they always seemed to want to pull together at odd angles on their own. He didn’t like it; he thought it made him look awkward. Bam had said it was cute, that it gave him the image of a little kid, all pulled together in a ball like that. Ville had thought the remark strange at first but he dismissed it eventually… Bam was always giving him strange compliments. But it wasn’t like he minded it.
A sort of hollow, sinking feeling clutched his heart as he thought about the American. With his bright blue eyes and his curly hair that was always gnarled and wild. He gave a short frustrated sigh, upset at himself for thinking about him… again.
He’s not yours… remember? A small voice whispered. That’s why we’re out here in the first place.
He rolled his eyes at the taunting remark as he scuffed the tip of his boot on one of the spiked boards sticking up from the floor. He took another idle drag from his cigarette but the nicotine calm didn’t seem to want to take over. The sinking feeling grew.
He didn’t want to admit, even to himself, that he couldn’t take the sight of Bam with anyone. He hadn’t thought of his disliking of Bam’s choices in mates anything other than watching out for his friend until Mige had pointed it out to him.
“You sound like a jealous boyfriend.” He’d said. Ville was quick to dispute but Mige shook his head.
“Think about it, you haven’t liked one girl that boy’s introduced you to.”
“That’s not true!” The singer had argued. Mige just chuckled a bit.
“Oh yeah,” He’d questioned. “Name one.” Ville had started to argue, lips ready to roll off a name, any name, of at least one girl he didn’t have something against. But when his list came up short he was left with no answer and his mouth hanging open rather dumbly. Mige had smiled weakly in bittersweet victory.
“Y’see… jealous boyfriend.”
That is how you act, you know. You’ve always been the jealous type.
“Yeah, but not about Bammi… he’s just a friend and I’m just a friend looking out for him.” You muttered quietly to yourself.
Whatever you say, dear Ville… but that doesn’t exactly explain the fact that you took off as soon as she came into the room. You couldn’t even stand to be in the same house as that girl.
“That’s not true…” He said rather remorsefully.
Then why are we here?
“A cigarette, I just needed a cigarette.” He accented his point with another thoughtful drag.
Sure, Ville, sure…
“It’s true!”
“Ville?”
“What?!”
“Whoa, calm down kid. I just came to check on you.” Ville jumped as he noticed that it was no longer himself that he was talking to. He sighed slightly as the sinking feeling worsened at the sight of the skater approaching him.
“I’m fine.” He said distractedly as he turned his gaze to the white landscape surrounding him.
“Are you sure?” Bam questioned, taking a seat a little to close to Ville for comfort.
“Yeah, just needed a cigarette…” He mumbled, taking another lengthy drag.
“So I heard…” Ville’s eyes snapped to the American.
“What did you say?” Bam’s eyes smiled.
“You know, I don’t think it’s healthy to be having arguments with yourself, especially ones so vicious.” Ville avoided his gaze, choosing instead to suck down some more smoke and look out past the trees.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Bam rested his head on Ville’s shoulder, not noticing how the singer stiffened at his touch.
“Man, I knew you were the ‘miserable artist’ type but I didn’t think that meant you were insane.”
“Careful, Margera… you’re forgetting that a certain loony knows where you sleep at night. And with a miserable soul like mine, well I wouldn’t get on my bad side. You never know what I might pull.” He said, poking the skater playfully in the side. The singer took a final drag before flicking the butt out into the snow.
“Is that a threat, Valo?” Bam smirked. Ville let a devious smile play on his crimson lips.
“Oh, I wouldn’t think of it as a threat…” He started lightly. “Think of it more as… a promise.”
“Well that’s a relief because you know I don’t deal well with threats, don’t you?” Ville scoffed slightly.
“Oh no?” Bam’s smirk turned evil.
“No, I tend to get a little crazy myself… might do something totally random when you least expect it.” The singer raised an eyebrow.
“Like what?”
“Oh, I don’t know...” Bam said, sitting upright. “You could just be sitting around in the snow and I might do something like, ah, this!”
The skater nothing short of pounced on the poor Fin, knocking him flat on his back into the snow. Ville was quick to retaliate, grabbing a handful of the messy white and sticking it down the American’s shirt.
“Ack!” Bam squealed, stopping his assault on Ville and trying to desperately claw the snow out from under his hoodie.
“No! Not fair, not fair, not fair!” Ville laughed whole-heartedly, lounging back in the snow as he watched the boy in front of him dance around foolishly.
Eventually he came to a stop, turning instead to slouch down next to his friend with a slight pout.
“That wasn’t very nice...” He sulked. Ville wrapped his arm around the boy.
“Yeah, well neither is tackling your friend to the ground.” Bam offered a lop-sided smile before falling back into Ville’s chest. They sat for a while, each just enjoying the company of the other before Bam broke the silence.
“I know why you’re upset.” He stated quietly. Ville turned his jades to meet the boy’s, questioning him silently. “And... I’m sorry.” Ville opened his mouth to respond but Bam shook his head.
“No, just... I would if I could... but it’s just, the publicity and the media... you have a new album out now, and if the fans ever found out... it’d be the end of you.” Ville sighed, tears threatening to choke up his voice as the last person he wanted voiced his deepest fears.
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. It’s me, it’s my problem, and it’s my fault.”
“Ville...” The singer shook his head, letting the American slip from his grasp as he stood up and brushed the snow from his jacket.
“No, Bam. Don’t worry.” He showed a watery smile and offered a hand to the skater. “I’ll be fine.” Bam smiled softly and took his hand, letting Ville help him to his feet. As soon as was on his feet, Bam wrapped his arms around the singer and resting his head on his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry...” He whispered, hugging Ville tightly. The Fin returned his friend’s embrace with just as much vigor.
“It’s okay, I understand, it’s okay.” Bam pulled away slightly and smiled sadly.
“I know, and that’s why I love you.” He shook his head softly. “If we were any two other people, if we had any other job,”
“Then we’d be the most miserable bastards alive.” Ville chided. “Face it Bammi, we both love what we do... too much to give it up.”
Bam let him from his arms, turning to look his friend in the eye.
“But we’ll stay friends, yeah?”
“Of course, Bammi. The best.”
“We should go in soon, they’ll start to wonder...” You mean she’ll start to wonder...
“Yeah, we should.” Bam turned and started to walk, slowly making his way back as if the house set back on the hill was the last place he wanted to be. Ville started to follow, trailing along quietly after the love of his life that he knew he’d never have.
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Not my favorite thing I've written but just something I needed to write tonight....
comments?