Sweet Valley High # 67: The Parent Plot
Okay, so first things first: the cover. (And I don't know why the heck I can't get an image to show up on this page.) Elizabeth looks terrible! Not a speck of makeup on her. I guess we know whose side the cover artist is on in this battle between the twins.
The story opens on a normal breakfast, just like any other at the Wakefield house. But something isn’t right… there’s no Ned! Now I’ve never read #65 Trouble at Home or #66 Who’s To Blame? and all it says in this book is that Mr & Mrs Wakefield have been “going through a difficult period in their marriage,” so they decided that they needed some time apart. If I had to guess though, I would assume that Jessica had some sort of nefarious scheme to hook up with the hottest guy around which backfired and made her parents hate each other.
It seems as though Steven and Jessica are all business as usual, but sensitive, emotional Elizabeth wishes that her parents could get back together. Sadly, she doesn’t think that will be the case anytime soon, since Ned is spending his entire time running for mayor of Sweet Valley. I’m just gonna copy and paste this paragraph from the book, because I’m too bored by the political shenanigans to paraphrase: Peter Santelli was the reason Ned Wakefield was running for mayor. The two men had been friends for years, and when Mr. Santelli declared his candidacy, Mr. Wakefield had been behind him one hundred percent. Then an anonymous source had leaked the information that a large sum of money had been deposited in Mr. Santelli’s bank account. It could only have been a bribe, or so everyone believed. In spite of a quick investigation and trial, during which Ned Wakefield had defended Peter Santelli, the possibility of a bribe could not be proven. There hadn’t been enough evidence one way or the other. The damage had been done, however. Santelli had dropped out of the race in a cloud of suspicion, and Ned Wakefield stepped into his place. Ooookay, that just sounds dumb. First of all, don’t mayoral races only last like a month or so? Would there really be enough time for Peter to run, and then an investigation, a trial, for Ned to run and then, *spoiler* for Ned to drop out and for Peter to take over with enough time left to persuade the voters that he’s innocent and make a sweeping victory? I don’t think so.
At school, Liz runs into Winston, who is feeling down too, because he can’t cheer up his girlfriend, Maria Santelli. She is sad because of the hoopla surrounding her father. Liz suggests that maybe Maria would like to join her in volunteering at Ned’s campaign office to take her mind off things. Okay, first of all, that’s a terrible idea, even though Maria goes for it. Secondly, isn’t Maria Santelli friends with Jessica? She’s a cheerleader, right? And Liz is friends with Maria Slater, the former child actress? Can someone please clear this up for me? Oh, and then, Liz thinks to herself between worrying about her parents, trying to get her father elected, and wondering who was behind the Santelli scandal, she had quite a lot on her mind these days . Elizabeth Wakefield? None of these things are your problems to fix. You just earned yourself the “Saint Elizabeth of Sweet Valley” tag, for exhibiting behaviour most meddlesome.
So the twins and Maria go to the campaign office, where they meet various members of Ned’s team, including Mr. Knapp, who is a jerk. Jess goes on and on singing the praises of Amanda Mason. Liz is suspicious, because she knows that Jess doesn’t usually get all worked up about a girl. She realises that Jess wants to set up their father with Amanda. That’s right! While Elizabeth is despondent over the fate of her parents’ marriage, Jessica is happy, because it allows her to matchmake. It’s actually interesting that Jessica has no potential love interest for herself at all in this book. She can only concentrate on finding potential lovers for her parents. But sadly, Amanda Mason doesn’t work out, because she is already engaged to a tall studious-looking man in a three-piece suit. Oh well. On to Jess-Plan B!
Elizabeth is completely opposed to Jessica’s schemes. She knows that if she can just get her parents to talk to each other, then they will realise that they still love each other. As a rule, Elizabeth left devious scheming and manipulating to her sister, but she was willing to do anything to get her parents back together. She tried to decide what Jessica would do in this situation. Jessica had come up with all sorts of plans for splitting couples up or getting them back together. All Elizabeth had to do was use some of her sister’s tactics. You guys, it feels like I continually want to yell at Elizabeth when I read these books. I have these fond childhood memories of her being the good twin, the one I could relate to, who was always reading and writing, and was nice to animals and helped old ladies cross the street. But she’s such a hypocrite! As if you’ve never schemed to break up a couple! As if you’ve never manipulated someone to do what you want. Lies! All lies!
*Cough*
So it turns out that today, Liz is terribly pathetic at getting her parents to talk to each other. She calls her dad on the phone and pretends that it’s a bad connection so that he has to call back. And then she lets the phone ring so that her mother will answer it. And then her parents get into a fight over the phone. Liz, undeterred, decides that they’d react better if they saw each other face to face. Let’s try Liz-Plan B.
At school, Jessica is getting her English assignment back. She gets a D. D for dummy. As she sits in class, she realises that the perfect guy to set her mom up with is right in front of her! The dreamy Robert Redford-lookalike Mister Roger Collins. After class, Jess convinces Mr. Collins that she really needs a parent-teacher conference to help her boost her grades.
Liz-Plan B involves Elizabeth dragging Alice to the mall on the pretext of buying a birthday present for Penny Ayala, the Oracle editor-in-chief. Please, Liz. You mention her title in every book, but when’s the last time you actually talked to Penny? At the mall, they see Ned, giving a speech. What a surprise! Liz had no idea he would be here! Alice is not amused. She turns and walks out, before Ned even sees them. Better luck next time, Liz!
The next day, Elizabeth and Maria head over to the campaign office. The place is empty except for Ned, because everyone else is off getting the location ready for his next speech. The girls sit down on the floor, surrounded by boxes, stuffing envelopes. After a while, Maria runs out to the store to buy sodas. That’s when jerky Mr. Knapp comes in. He doesn’t see Liz in the corner, and assumes Ned is alone. He basically bullies Ned into changing his speech so that it’s only about economic development. Liz can’t believe that her father would listen to him, but Ned reminds her that he’s a newcomer to the political scene, and so he should listen to what Knapp, his chief advisor, has to say. Liz starts to feel uncomfortable. Maybe Knapp isn’t just a jerk. Maybe he has an ulterior motive...
Meanwhile, Jessica is having her parent-teacher conference with Alice and Mr. Collins. She spends it blatantly complimenting the two adults, so that they will fall for each other. “You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, Jessica, but I’m pretty sure you aren’t trying very hard.” “That’s so perceptive of you,” Jessica agreed. She gave her mother an admiring expression. “He really understands human psychology, don’t you think?” and so on. They don’t seem to be taking the bait, so she runs off on the pretext of getting her last term paper, but really wants to give them alone time. She crouches by the door so that she can eavesdrop on their conversation. Whadda ya know, it actually works! Mr. Collins sympathises with Alice, reminding her that he is also divorced. He offers to take her out for dinner to Chez Sam tomorrow so that they can have friendly conversation to help take her mind of things. Huzzah! Jess is ecstatic that her plan is working.
Back at home, Liz comes in and tells Jess that their father has offered to take the two of them out for dinner tomorrow night. They’re going to Chez Sam! Ruh-roh! (And by the way, what kind of restaurant name is Chez Sam? It’s like the ghostwriter is trying to make a fancy French place name, but does not actually know any French. Or has never heard of a French first name. Or a restaurant name.)
So the twins and their dad head to Chez Sam, with Jess complaining the whole time that she wants to go somewhere else, but not saying why. Liz and Ned soon find out, as they see Alice and Mr. Collins sitting at a table for two. Liz is so surprised and embarrassed, she doesn’t know if she should say hello to them. Once they sit down, Ned is called away for a phone call. Aww, remember how that used to happen? Before cell phones? Liz uses this alone time to yell at her sister. Jessica is unconcerned; since their father doesn’t seem to be angry, that means she won’t get into trouble. Once Ned comes back, he raises his glass towards his wife in a silent toast. Seeming surprised, she raises her glass back at him. After a short discussion, she and Mr. Collins get up and walk over to the other table to say hello. Ned invites them to join their party for supper. Both Liz and Jess can’t believe it! Their parents are talking and getting along, and they have Jessica to thank!
We cut to Maria and Winston driving downtown. Maria wants to stop at the campaign office, because she left a book there. She goes in, it’s all dark, and the phone is ringing. She picks it up, but someone else picks up the other extension at the same time. It’s Mr. Knapp. Maria realises that he’s at Ned’s desk in the corner where he can’t see her. She eavesdrops on the phone conversation. Knapp is talking to some guy named Robertson. Basically, they talk about how they want something done by the mayor, and when Mr. Santelli refused to help them, they framed him. But now things are different, and they have Ned Wakefield right where they want him. He doesn’t suspect a thing, and when he becomes mayor, he will have no choice but to help out the guys who got him there by approving their scheme.
Maria is appalled, so the first thing she does is call Elizabeth. The two girls decide that they can’t tell Ned anything until they have some proof. So they meet up the next day with Winston and this guy named Terry, who is Knapp’s nephew that I didn’t mention before, because he’s pretty unimportant, but he’d been volunteering at the campaign office too. The kids figure out that if Knapp and Robertson have some secret development that they want approved, there must be some plans and blueprints and stuff. They decide that they have to find these things, and that the only way to do that is to sneak into Knapp’s office. They make a date to do some B&E.
Jessica is sitting in the campaign office, feeling sad. Her mother’s date with Mr. Collins last night was more like a date with her father! Alice must not be that interested in Mr. Collins. Jessica will just have to find her a different man. Jess-Plan C is a guy named Ramon, who is one of her father’s political aides. Jessica goes and talks to him. After ascertaining that he’s single, she goes on about how her mom is glad to be single again too. This is not exactly the right tactic, as Ramon then goes on about how he loves being single, as he can do anything he wants. It’s just him and his cats. Cats? Oh yeah, he loves his cats, and goes on about how they’re so finicky, but have such great personalities, and one thinks she’s the boss of the household, and one day she - Okay, cancel Jess-Plan C.
Back to the breaking and entering. It’s raining outside. Elizabeth goes into Mr. Knapp’s office building and asks the security guard if she can sit inside while she waits for her mom to pick her up. As Elizabeth distracts the guard by talking to him about the book he’s reading, Maria and Terry sneak in and head towards Knapp’s office. Everything seems to be going well, until all of a sudden Knapp himself drives up! Oh noes! Liz tells the guard that she is going to the bathroom, and runs up to warn Terry and Maria. The three of them have just enough time to hide in the closet before Knapp walks in. Liz watches through a crack in the door as Knapp pulls a suspicious-looking folder out from behind his filing cabinet. He makes some copies, and then puts it back in its hiding spot. Then he leaves. Once he’s gone, our detective trio looks through the hidden folder and find plans for a huge development right on Sweet Valley’s beachfront! They also find a teller’s check for a ten thousand dollar deposit, the same amount that was found in Mr. Santelli’s bank account! They make copies of everything, and then sneak back out of the office. Liz decides that she has to show all of this stuff to her father. He’s a lawyer, so he can make sense of it all. She heads over to his lonely bachelor’s apartment and tells him about what they’ve found. Ned is flabbergasted. He gets upset and doesn’t know what to do. He wails that he doesn’t know who to trust anymore. Liz cautiously says that maybe he should go home and talk to Alice about it. “Alice” he said, closing his eyes. Alice. My wife! The love of my life! So he goes back to Calico Drive and Ned and Alice spend the evening talking to each other and rebuilding their marriage. Aww. Sorry guys, I’m not made of stone. Alice/Ned OTP!
The next day, Liz and Alice head to the big political rally. Jessica is there, cheerleading. A side note, apparently Sweet Valley’s current mayor is well-loved, but stepping down to run an orange grove. Ned is the first candidate to speak. He talks about how he loves Sweet Valley - there’s something special about Sweet Valley, and you all know that. Yeah, it’s a special town, all right. He goes on that there are sometimes bad people out there who want to take advantage of towns like Sweet Valley. But there’s another side to the story! There is someone who wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen! That someone is Peter Santelli! He paid the ultimate price for decency and integrity in this city... he wouldn’t play the game. Ned admits that he himself got caught up in the game, and that he didn’t know he was being played. But he won’t let anyone say that Ned Wakefield’s name was tainted by dirty politics. That’s why... he’s withdrawing from the race. The audience goes quiet. And then... oh and then. One person starts clapping. Then someone else starts clapping! Then everyone is clapping! Ned got himself a slow clap! But he doesn’t care, because he’s too busy running off the stage and running into the arms of his wife. Woo! Alice/Ned! Back together for good! (And then I throw up from too much cheese.)
Liz sees Knapp running away, but he runs right into the arms of a police officer. All is well again in Sweet Valley. Cut to election night, and Peter Santelli has re-entered the mayoral race after having been proven completely innocent. And guess what? He wins! Liz and her mom hug. And then Ned joins the hug. And then Jess joins the hug. They’re a happy family again! What’s that? Steven? Steven who?