SVH Super Edition: Winter Carnival
Damn it, I wanted to see Jessica's silver ski suit!!! She looks evil, even in that lame knit sweater.
Jessica is irresponsible and needy in this one. You also won't believe the "moral" of the story!
The book starts out with Elizabeth walking home from school in the rain. Jessica did not ask if it was okay to take the car, so Liz is going home. She starts to feel annoyed, but "squelches the disloyal thought about her sister". Eeek. When Elizabeth gets home, she is furious to discover that Jessica, after stealing Liz and Enid's answers, are going to be on a trivia show. How did she ever find out? Jessica was home to tell her. Elizabeth says nothing about the blatant cheating, but instead says to Jessica that (direct quoting follows) "If I'd won and you really wanted to be on it, you'd twist my arm until I gave in and gave it to you." Jessica giggles and says she'd never do that. Elizabeth knew she [Elizabeth] was right. If the tables were turned, Jessica would get her way somehow. It was always like that. And Elizabeth always gave in. Well, who's fault is it, four-minutes-older Wakefield? Jeez!
The next day, Lizzie finds out that she "only" got an honorable mention in an essay contest, while Jessica made it to All-State in cheerleading. Later that night at dinner, Jessica pretends to be modest about it--until her father jokes around "I don't suppose the co-captain had anything to do with it, right?". Then Jessica brags that the move she invented--three high kicks and a somersault at the end--probably won them the title. Jeez. And sensitive Jessie makes Liz feel better by saying, "It's only an essay contest! Who cares about essays!"
Then, at the same meal (which Jessica took credit for, even though she just reheated a dish Elizabeth made), the silly cheerleader is panicked to realize she has a date with her trivia show competition, David, in fifteen minutes. She shirks dishes AGAIN, and Liz does them because "her parents expected her to be generous and help out". It's their rules about trading off dishes, Lizzie!!! Make Jessica do it and be late for a date for once. Please.
But nooo...
Elizabeth isn't angry about doing dishes, just about the principle. But she can't say no to poor Sluttica...I mean, Jessica.
(There is a tiny B-plot about Jessica and the trivia contest. She tries to get her competitor, David, to lose for her, but is horrified when he refuses. She thinks that the privilege of dating her should come with such a small price, and David is henceforth a jerk..."but a considerate jerk" she thinks as he waits for he to get into the house safely after their date)
One day, Elizabeth's bf, Jefferey, arranges a date at Tiberino's, a fancy Italian place. Gosh, these boys must have a ton of money despite having no jobs for them to be taking their girls to places like Tiberino's and the Box Tree. Jeez! Elizabeth is all excited, until she finds a note that makes her steaming mad: Jessica has taken the car so she can practice more trivia stuff with Amy Sutton. Lizzie actually decides to get Jessica on this, but tries to cool her anger. But Jessica and Amy Slutton Sutton
have gone to the library! It's probably the first time Jessie's ever set foot in one! And this is because she'll be ON TV! Doormat Elizabeth tells Jefferey the date is off, because she has to make dinner. Why the heck doesn't she have her parents go to a restaurant and let them know how she feels about Jessica's stupid behavior? If my sister did that, the 'rents would totally understand. Or she could order something in...but no, she ruins her own plans.
When Jessica gets back, she is accosted by her parents not for skipping dinner and ruining her sister's night, but for not telling her plans. It all escapes Jessie, because she had to find out what the longest river in Africa is. (It's the Nile). She is wearing a sweater of Elizabeth's, and Liz nearly blows up. Liz's parents are disgusted that their perfect Oracle editor daughter is showing her irritation at Jessica's stupidity. Apparently they don't care that Jess skipped dinner night. The thing blows over for everyone but Liz, and Jess generously offers to do the dishes--ON HER NIGHT!
Several disasters follow--Jefferey is falling apart from Liz, Jessica fails to deliver a phone message from Mr. Collins to Liz (I hope you know who he is) about picking up his son, and it makes Elizabeth look irresponsible. Jessica is as dense as fruitcake. She says that as long as Teddy Collins got home, everything was dandy.
Liz and Jefferey's relationship soon gets worse. Elizabeth has a PTA banquet with Todd--now just a friend--on the Friday that begins the school's midwinter break, the Winter Carnival, on 'Mount Blanc'. She was worried that it would cause issues, but it spills out and makes things worse. Elizabeth can't believe Jeff is so upset over the fact that she hid a dinner "date" with another guy. Well, you sure can be dense as your sister, Elizabeth Wakefield. They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight....the Lizbeth and Jefferey showwwwww.... :-p
Then one day, Jefferey leaves a note that he's gone to Los Palmos canyon to think things over, and he'll be there til 6:00 p.m. If Liz doesn't show up, he'll "assume the worst". Elizabeth is frantic. It's the day of Jessica's quiz show, but she makes her sister PROMISE to have the car back by 4:30. Jess promises, but she and Amy win the trivia bowl. She snuggles with David as the competitors celebrate with pizza, totally forgetting her promise. The house is dark when Jess comes back, and in a very soap-opera-ish scene, she turns on the lights to find a stone-faced Lizzie glaring at her. Liz finally let's her have it. She's sick of her sister taking advantage, making her look stupid, and not being responsible with tasks. Jess is horrfied, and Liz feels sick. For some reason, Liz doesn't call Jeff to explain. Stupid Liz.
That night, Jess does the dishes, "a generous gesture, as it was Elizabeth's turn". Wow, Jessica, you should be canonized! You did the dishes for the sister whose relationship--vapid though it may be--you ruined. Jessica treated herself to a bubble bath, proud that she'd won the contest without David's help. And she has a PLAN that will make Liz forgive her! God, she's got a real personality disorder.
She writes a fake note from Liz to Jefferey, telling Jeff to meet her [Liz] at the top of the mountain. Jessica meets Jefferey at the top of the mountain, pretends to be Liz, and heals all--or so she thinks. She explains "self-righteously" that it was all her (or as she put it, Jessica's) fault...and Jeff says, thinking Jess is Liz, that Liz should punish Jess. The spoiled bitch is annoyed, but keeps her act on. However, a notorious gossip girl sees them together. She is sharing a room with Liz, and when she gets upstairs, she says, amazed, to Liz, "how did you get up here so fast?"
Elizabeth is confused. A naive Chrissy Nolan, who was the gossip, says she saw Elizabeth with Jefferey. Liz says that she must be mistaken, she was never with Jeff. "I forgot you have a twin sister. She goes out with that guy, doesn't she?" Chrissy says. "It looks like they needed an excuse to keep warm" she adds.
Liz can't take it anymore. Despite her friends' protests, she takes a bus home, makes a sandwich, and is about to eat it when the phone rings. A tearful Jess tries to apologize, but Lizzie FINALLY gives her no more chances. "I wish I didn't have a sister!" Elizabeth sobbed.
She can't eat. She falls asleep, but is woken up when the phone rings. A frantic voice tells her a blonde Wakefield girl was found in a crashed car coming down the mountain. Jessica. Todd miraculously shows up and takes a frantic, sick, trembling Liz to the hospital. "You'll have to be strong, Liz," a nurse soon tells her. "Your parents will have a hard time".
Jessica died coming down the mountain to apologize to Liz, and Liz is so sick, so furious with herself, so self-hating, so sad, that she needs to take sedatives. Her parents look at her strangely because she's the splitting image of Jessica.
During a support party for the grieving Elizabeth, Todd and Jeffrey fight. Then Elizabeth hears Jessica.
She's been dreaming, in case you didn't notice that :-p
Everything is explained and the friends go up to the mountain and have fun. Winston is a goof and Liz has a romantic dance with Jeff! YAY! Lol.
Jessica and Amy wear silver and gold ski suits, respectively...
Elizabeth knows she'll never regret having a twin again. I know the old moral about not letting the sun go down on your anger is hidden in here, but the real moral is blatantly clear: don't let your loved ones be responsible for anything, and don't get mad at them for shirking their duties, because they might die. GAAAAAAH.
The fashions in here are uproarious. There's the silver and gold metallic ski suits, and on her first date with David, Jessica wears an "oversized black vest over a long-sleeved, hot pink shirt, with black stirrup pants". WHAT? And Elizabeth's ball gown (the amount Jessica and Liz spend on fancy clothes--more than any normal teenager has--could feed a third world nation) is "silvery silk, with a round neck, a full skirt" and bubble puff sleeves. Wow.
So there you have it, girls and boys! More vapid Jessica and stupid Elizabeth.
At the back of the book, there's an order form for the Super Editions. Among other things, it says "The Super Editions give you...more real-life adventure".
MORE REAL LIFE ADVENTURE? Tell me they are joking!!!!!!! Real life? With a horrible suspended timeline, endless allowances, dozens of romantic tragedies, and more encounters with murders and rape than most women go through their whole lives?
Ah, life goes on.