SVH Senior Year #19: It's My Life
Okay, it's high time I brought something up. There seems to be an advertisement for Senior Year inside each of the books, and I want to know how useful that can actually be. Isn't that a bit like preaching to the choir? The ad says:
You're watching "Dawson's Creek"...
You're wearing Urban Decay...
Have you read Senior Year?
Considering I'm holding one of those books in my hand, then yeah, I'd say there's a pretty good chance. I mean, I can see the parallels they're trying to draw, but seriously, that ad would be so much more effective if it was, say, anywhere else but inside the book you want me to buy. (Also, uh, what's Urban Decay? I've never heard of it before.)
Okay, okay. Now let's get down to the actual book.
The A Plot:
Tia's mad at Conner, because he's been a crappy friend lately. He's been saying really nasty things to her and acting out of character, so as mad as she is at him, she's also worried. She suspects he's been drinking. To make matters worse, recent ex-boyfriend Angel is seeing someone new. She dreads going to school and being face-to-face with Conner after the last weirdness she witnessed, but it's rather anti-climactic, because he's totally normal. Excited, even, because he's managed to get a gig at a local club, which is apparently a pretty big deal although it's never been mentioned before. Hmm.
After school, Conner takes Elizabeth back to his place to get with the making out... oh, and so he can play his new song for her. Despite her raving about how wonderful it is, he's feeling insecure. After all, this gig is a big deal, if that wasn't made clear before. He's so anxious, he's totally not interested in returning Elizabeth's kisses. Liz doesn't seem to notice or care, and after a short while decides she has to go. (Remind me again why she thinks she's the sensitive twin?) After she's gone, Conner decides to do some hardcore practicing. Only he's way too tense for it to sound good. But after a few swigs of vodka, he's loosened up nicely... oooh, bet you can't see where this is going, can you?
The next morning, Conner wakes up irritable with a hangover, but he pops some aspirin and drags himself to school. His mom, who was also an alcoholic until a few books ago, thinks he looks awful and should maybe stay home, but Conner dismisses her opinion, because what would a recently dry alcoholic know? All his friends think he looks terrible too, but instead of thinking "hey, maybe this is a running theme for a reason," Conner just grows more irritable. He shoots both Andy and Tia down when they want to talk to him, and then angsts about what a jerk he is for doing it. I notice he doesn't search them out to remedy that, though. Although I guess it is Sweet Valley, so as long as you feel guilty, it's just as good as actually taking proactive steps to making amends.
Then we go back to hearing how conflicted Tia is about Conner. She's so mad at him! Dude's a jerk! But... it seems like he has a real problem! And if she doesn't do something about it, that makes his alcoholism all her fault! Sounds like someone's got quite the complex there. She goes to his house to try to talk to him, but he's not there. His sister Megan tells Tia Conner's gone to Crescent Beach, which is bad news, because Tia knows the only reason anyone would ever go to the beach is to get drunk. Forget all the surfing and swimming that goes on in all the other books; beach-goers are now all alcoholics. Okay then. So of course Tia shows up at the beach, and of course Conner is drinking. There's a nasty confrontation, and he says nasty things to her, and she threatens to tell Liz he's been drinking so much. Blah blah blah, could this plot be any more predictable? When Conner finally goes home, he gets in trouble for being out so late on a school night and coming home stinking drunk. He tells his mom off for being a dirty hypocrite and goes to bed. After all, he's had a busy night.
At school the next day, Conner sees Tia and Liz talking. This can only be bad news, after Tia threatened to tell Liz what was going on. Which is exactly what Tia is doing, only Elizabeth doesn't believe her. Because as Conner's girlfriend, she'd of course notice if something was going on! Can't Tia understand? Conner is an artist. Hence the emo of it all. Doesn't mean he's a drunk. I think Liz might be living on a different planet. She does ask Conner about it, but he tells Liz he was only drinking because there was a party, and Tia got all upset because nobody invited her.
Then comes the day of the gig. Have I mentioned yet what a BIG DEAL this gig is? And he's sooo nervous he's sure to blow it... but oh! There's vodka! That should help loosen him up. When he sees himself in the mirror, he's surprised at the way he looks, despite having been told repeatedly over the course of the book. "Maybe he'd had too much vodka? Maybe he shouldn't have had more than a sip? Nah.." Tia, Andy, Jessica, and Elizabeth are sitting in the audience, waiting for the show to start, when Liz gets the brilliant idea to slip backstage to wish Conner luck. She tells Tia she could come, too, because fighting with Conner over a party invitation is silly. Tia is outraged, and agrees to come backstage to set the story straight.
When they get there, of course, Conner is stinking drunk. Tia is disappointed. Elizabeth is shocked. Conner can't even walk across the small dressing room without stumbling, so the two of them try to convince him not to go out on stage. He becomes outraged and kicks them out. Instead of being upset that he yelled at them, they're upset that he's going to embarrass himself in front of everyone. Except he comes out and plays the best show they've ever seen him play, which confuses them. Maybe they were wrong about his drinking? But at the after show party (because there has to be an after show party), Conner rages at the two of them, screaming at them in front of everyone. Pretty much everyone is shocked and a little bit scared. Once he's done yelling, he takes off, and Evan assures the girls he'll go with, to keep an eye on Conner.
Conner goes to the beach, Evan tagging along. Evan tries to convince Conner he should go home, but Conner instead decides it's a great idea to do some rock climbing. What? I do not understand this decision. Evan doesn't either, because he starts freaking out, which just annoys Conner. Why you gotta rain on my parade, Evan? Why you gotta do that, man? Of course, because Conner is a drunken idiot, he falls, and hits his head. Sadly, this does not make him start acting like Jessica, but it does make him pass out, which at least temporarily ends the overwhelming stupidity. Last thing we see is Evan running off to call 911. Duhn-duh-duhn!
The B Plot:
Things between Jeremy and Jade are heating up, but not enough for Jade, who starts fooling around with Josh behind Jeremy's back. (Because there weren't enough J names already involved in this particular plot.) One could argue that this is high school, and it's not necessary to be dating exclusively, but Jade takes every opportunity to make Jeremy think she's really really into him and to rub the relationship in Jessica's face. Of course, word about Jade and Josh reaches Jessica, who decides to ask Jade about it. Jade acts like it's no big deal, which upsets Jessica even more. Jeremy deserves better than that! She's admittedly jealous, though, so she consults with her friends, who tell her she should let Jeremy know what's going on. Jeremy doesn't believe her, though, chalking it up to malicious jealousy. After all, Jade just sent him a love note! How could a love note lie? In what has to be the biggest coincidence ever, Jessica overhears Jade and Josh planning their next rendez-vous. She drags a reluctant Jeremy out, promising him she'll leave him alone if he just goes with her. And of course, Jeremy catches Jade with Josh, and major drama ensues. Predictably, Josh disappears as soon as the angry words start flying. Jeremy goes on a rant about how girls from Sweet Valley only seem to know how to lie and cheat... which, although pretty much true, isn't quite fair in this particular case, since Jessica technically never cheated on him. He announces he never wants to see either of them again. Having already read the recap for #22, I know this doesn't last very long, but I have to wonder how he's planning to manage that particular feat anyway, since they all work at the same smallish coffee shop. Hmm.
The C Plot:
Andy has just come out to Jessica, Elizabeth, and Maria, and he decides it's in his best interest to tell his closest friends what's going on before rumours start circulating. He chats with Tia, who immediately feels bad for having spent so much time dumping her troubles on Andy recently, although apparently not bad enough to stop focusing on her own problems. Way to be a sensitive and supportive friend, Tia. Conner continually brushes Andy off, so doesn't end up hearing the news, and Andy sends Angel an e-mail saying he needs to talk to him about something important the next time they meet up, since it's not a bomb that should be dropped via e-mail. In the meantime, Andy's coming to terms with the re-evaluation of his sexual identity. He's pretty sure he's okay with being gay... although I note not many people know yet. Like, say, his parents.
The D Plot:
Will is angsting over his football scholarship. He and Melissa have determined to go to the same university, no matter what. But, of course, they have different places in mind. She wants to go to USC. He wants Michigan. All the scouts are coming out to check Will's playing, and to his delight, Michigan offers him a full scholarship. Now, maybe it's just me, but if one of you is coasting on free scholarship for a sport every university plays, and the other is paying tuition for academics, maybe the second person should be the one to choose where to go? But Melissa, in an act that seems thoroughly out of character, fills out an application for the U of M as soon as Will announces his scholarship, despite it not being the university she wants to go to. Whatever. So now they're happy and will be together forever and ever. Whoopee. (These two annoy me, can you tell?)
You're watching "Dawson's Creek"...
You're wearing Urban Decay...
Have you read Senior Year?
Considering I'm holding one of those books in my hand, then yeah, I'd say there's a pretty good chance. I mean, I can see the parallels they're trying to draw, but seriously, that ad would be so much more effective if it was, say, anywhere else but inside the book you want me to buy. (Also, uh, what's Urban Decay? I've never heard of it before.)
Okay, okay. Now let's get down to the actual book.
The A Plot:
Tia's mad at Conner, because he's been a crappy friend lately. He's been saying really nasty things to her and acting out of character, so as mad as she is at him, she's also worried. She suspects he's been drinking. To make matters worse, recent ex-boyfriend Angel is seeing someone new. She dreads going to school and being face-to-face with Conner after the last weirdness she witnessed, but it's rather anti-climactic, because he's totally normal. Excited, even, because he's managed to get a gig at a local club, which is apparently a pretty big deal although it's never been mentioned before. Hmm.
After school, Conner takes Elizabeth back to his place to get with the making out... oh, and so he can play his new song for her. Despite her raving about how wonderful it is, he's feeling insecure. After all, this gig is a big deal, if that wasn't made clear before. He's so anxious, he's totally not interested in returning Elizabeth's kisses. Liz doesn't seem to notice or care, and after a short while decides she has to go. (Remind me again why she thinks she's the sensitive twin?) After she's gone, Conner decides to do some hardcore practicing. Only he's way too tense for it to sound good. But after a few swigs of vodka, he's loosened up nicely... oooh, bet you can't see where this is going, can you?
The next morning, Conner wakes up irritable with a hangover, but he pops some aspirin and drags himself to school. His mom, who was also an alcoholic until a few books ago, thinks he looks awful and should maybe stay home, but Conner dismisses her opinion, because what would a recently dry alcoholic know? All his friends think he looks terrible too, but instead of thinking "hey, maybe this is a running theme for a reason," Conner just grows more irritable. He shoots both Andy and Tia down when they want to talk to him, and then angsts about what a jerk he is for doing it. I notice he doesn't search them out to remedy that, though. Although I guess it is Sweet Valley, so as long as you feel guilty, it's just as good as actually taking proactive steps to making amends.
Then we go back to hearing how conflicted Tia is about Conner. She's so mad at him! Dude's a jerk! But... it seems like he has a real problem! And if she doesn't do something about it, that makes his alcoholism all her fault! Sounds like someone's got quite the complex there. She goes to his house to try to talk to him, but he's not there. His sister Megan tells Tia Conner's gone to Crescent Beach, which is bad news, because Tia knows the only reason anyone would ever go to the beach is to get drunk. Forget all the surfing and swimming that goes on in all the other books; beach-goers are now all alcoholics. Okay then. So of course Tia shows up at the beach, and of course Conner is drinking. There's a nasty confrontation, and he says nasty things to her, and she threatens to tell Liz he's been drinking so much. Blah blah blah, could this plot be any more predictable? When Conner finally goes home, he gets in trouble for being out so late on a school night and coming home stinking drunk. He tells his mom off for being a dirty hypocrite and goes to bed. After all, he's had a busy night.
At school the next day, Conner sees Tia and Liz talking. This can only be bad news, after Tia threatened to tell Liz what was going on. Which is exactly what Tia is doing, only Elizabeth doesn't believe her. Because as Conner's girlfriend, she'd of course notice if something was going on! Can't Tia understand? Conner is an artist. Hence the emo of it all. Doesn't mean he's a drunk. I think Liz might be living on a different planet. She does ask Conner about it, but he tells Liz he was only drinking because there was a party, and Tia got all upset because nobody invited her.
Then comes the day of the gig. Have I mentioned yet what a BIG DEAL this gig is? And he's sooo nervous he's sure to blow it... but oh! There's vodka! That should help loosen him up. When he sees himself in the mirror, he's surprised at the way he looks, despite having been told repeatedly over the course of the book. "Maybe he'd had too much vodka? Maybe he shouldn't have had more than a sip? Nah.." Tia, Andy, Jessica, and Elizabeth are sitting in the audience, waiting for the show to start, when Liz gets the brilliant idea to slip backstage to wish Conner luck. She tells Tia she could come, too, because fighting with Conner over a party invitation is silly. Tia is outraged, and agrees to come backstage to set the story straight.
When they get there, of course, Conner is stinking drunk. Tia is disappointed. Elizabeth is shocked. Conner can't even walk across the small dressing room without stumbling, so the two of them try to convince him not to go out on stage. He becomes outraged and kicks them out. Instead of being upset that he yelled at them, they're upset that he's going to embarrass himself in front of everyone. Except he comes out and plays the best show they've ever seen him play, which confuses them. Maybe they were wrong about his drinking? But at the after show party (because there has to be an after show party), Conner rages at the two of them, screaming at them in front of everyone. Pretty much everyone is shocked and a little bit scared. Once he's done yelling, he takes off, and Evan assures the girls he'll go with, to keep an eye on Conner.
Conner goes to the beach, Evan tagging along. Evan tries to convince Conner he should go home, but Conner instead decides it's a great idea to do some rock climbing. What? I do not understand this decision. Evan doesn't either, because he starts freaking out, which just annoys Conner. Why you gotta rain on my parade, Evan? Why you gotta do that, man? Of course, because Conner is a drunken idiot, he falls, and hits his head. Sadly, this does not make him start acting like Jessica, but it does make him pass out, which at least temporarily ends the overwhelming stupidity. Last thing we see is Evan running off to call 911. Duhn-duh-duhn!
The B Plot:
Things between Jeremy and Jade are heating up, but not enough for Jade, who starts fooling around with Josh behind Jeremy's back. (Because there weren't enough J names already involved in this particular plot.) One could argue that this is high school, and it's not necessary to be dating exclusively, but Jade takes every opportunity to make Jeremy think she's really really into him and to rub the relationship in Jessica's face. Of course, word about Jade and Josh reaches Jessica, who decides to ask Jade about it. Jade acts like it's no big deal, which upsets Jessica even more. Jeremy deserves better than that! She's admittedly jealous, though, so she consults with her friends, who tell her she should let Jeremy know what's going on. Jeremy doesn't believe her, though, chalking it up to malicious jealousy. After all, Jade just sent him a love note! How could a love note lie? In what has to be the biggest coincidence ever, Jessica overhears Jade and Josh planning their next rendez-vous. She drags a reluctant Jeremy out, promising him she'll leave him alone if he just goes with her. And of course, Jeremy catches Jade with Josh, and major drama ensues. Predictably, Josh disappears as soon as the angry words start flying. Jeremy goes on a rant about how girls from Sweet Valley only seem to know how to lie and cheat... which, although pretty much true, isn't quite fair in this particular case, since Jessica technically never cheated on him. He announces he never wants to see either of them again. Having already read the recap for #22, I know this doesn't last very long, but I have to wonder how he's planning to manage that particular feat anyway, since they all work at the same smallish coffee shop. Hmm.
The C Plot:
Andy has just come out to Jessica, Elizabeth, and Maria, and he decides it's in his best interest to tell his closest friends what's going on before rumours start circulating. He chats with Tia, who immediately feels bad for having spent so much time dumping her troubles on Andy recently, although apparently not bad enough to stop focusing on her own problems. Way to be a sensitive and supportive friend, Tia. Conner continually brushes Andy off, so doesn't end up hearing the news, and Andy sends Angel an e-mail saying he needs to talk to him about something important the next time they meet up, since it's not a bomb that should be dropped via e-mail. In the meantime, Andy's coming to terms with the re-evaluation of his sexual identity. He's pretty sure he's okay with being gay... although I note not many people know yet. Like, say, his parents.
The D Plot:
Will is angsting over his football scholarship. He and Melissa have determined to go to the same university, no matter what. But, of course, they have different places in mind. She wants to go to USC. He wants Michigan. All the scouts are coming out to check Will's playing, and to his delight, Michigan offers him a full scholarship. Now, maybe it's just me, but if one of you is coasting on free scholarship for a sport every university plays, and the other is paying tuition for academics, maybe the second person should be the one to choose where to go? But Melissa, in an act that seems thoroughly out of character, fills out an application for the U of M as soon as Will announces his scholarship, despite it not being the university she wants to go to. Whatever. So now they're happy and will be together forever and ever. Whoopee. (These two annoy me, can you tell?)