Sweet Valley Kids #17: Caroline's Mystery Dolls
Sweet Valley Kids #17: Caroline’s Mystery Dolls
I love the title of this book. LOVE IT. I mean it’s, well, mysterious. Caroline has dolls? What kind of dolls? Why are they a mystery? I don’t get it!
Check out the cover! Jessica is wearing some kind of horrid red spangled top and it’s tucked into her Mom jeans. And their faces! They look like they found a BODY in that box! Perhaps one left for them by a tiny Crazy Margo? LET US HOPE.
...
You know? I’m really starting to wonder about Tiny Crazy Margo. She’s the same age as the twins. What was she doing when all this happened? What aliens visited her for advice? That’d be an awesome book series. If you’re out there, Francine Pascal, you should get on that. It’d be like Dexter for the grade-school set! A market that is yet to be cornered!
Two twins. Alike but different. On the bus, Jessica confronts Caroline Pearce/Pierce about her porcelain dolls. Jessica doesn’t believe they are real. She thinks Caroline is making it up. Liz tells Jessica she should be nicer to Caroline. Jessica is like “What did I do, Mom?” This boring already.
They’re still talking about the stupid dolls when they get to class. Mrs. Otis decides that the next day they’re going to have a special Show and Tell with the things the kids collect. Caroline has her dolls and Todd has baseball cards (he says he has sixty which makes me roll my eyes. Todd, I had more than that and I’m a girl who hates baseball. So there.) Jessica is pleased with herself-she’s finally going to find out if Caroline’s dolls are real! Until, that is, Liz asks her what she’s going to bring in.
A collection of dead boyfriends, perhaps?
At recess, Caroline asks to borrow Liz’s book about unicorns. (I believe that should be Jessica’s book!) Liz thinks that Caroline is always asking to borrow stuff and she doesn’t return it. Then don’t give it to her, doormat!
Jessica ends up deciding to take her collection of hair things to school. That seems kind of lame, especially since I assume all the barrettes belong to Elizabeth.
Andy collects stamps. Eva collects magnets. Liz collects books. Todd collects baseball cards. Ken collects stickers. … wait! Hold on a tick! Ken collects stickers?! That’s randomly hilarious. I hope they’re sparkly Lisa Frank ones. That would just make my day.
The bell rings before either Jessica or Caroline can show off their collections. Caroline brought a suitcase to school. After prodding from Jessica and Lila, she agrees to open it to show them the doll inside. We’re told it’s her most beautiful doll. But when she opens it…
THERE’S A BODY INSIDE!
… No, I kid. There’s actually nothing inside. Caroline cries. She says someone has stolen her doll. Jessica thinks she’s making it up and has no dolls.
Can I just say that when I was this age, I wouldn’t want a porcelain doll? I mean, my friend, Alison, had a bunch and at first I was really jealous because they looked so pretty and all. But then I got one for Christmas and I couldn’t play with it or do anything. I tried to brush its hair once, and the curls became all mangled. After that, I was completely content to go on playing with my Jem dolls instead. They came with CASSETTE TAPES. Beat that, porcelain dolls!
Liz goes over to Caroline’s house to give her the stupid book. There, Caroline bursts into tears and admits she does not have a porcelain doll collection! She only has one doll and now it is GONE. Caroline cries, cries. Oh second grade drama!
Meanwhile, Jessica has decided her collection of hair things is not as cool as everyone else’s collections. I dunno, Jessica, did you hear about Ken collecting stickers? That’s pretty bad. Liz comes back and says that Jessica has a Jessica collection. She has t-shirts, bracelets, hair things, and a toothbrush (seriously?) that have her name on them. Jessica is excited! She’ll be the only one with a Jessica collection! I think that’s lamer than the hair things, but don’t mind me.
At school the next day, Charlie Cashman and Jerry McAllister admit they took Caroline’s doll. They hid it in… the trash can. Except now it’s not there! WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT? Luckily, the custodian, Jim, has it. The doll-Angelina-is returned to Caroline. Wow, that was some mystery, right guys?
Caroline gets up and talks about her doll. It was made in Germany, where her family is from (?). And it’s been passed down from generation to generation. Each time a female Pearce/Pierce is born, she gets the doll. Angelina’s suitcase has stickers from all over the world on it because she’s been all over the world. Everyone is impressed. (Except me.)
Then Jessica asks Caroline to tell them about her other dolls. Caroline admits there are no other dolls. But she has a magazine about doll collecting and points out the one she is saving up to get. Liz comments it has blonde hair and blue eyes like her and Jessica. That seems an oddly stuck up statement. "Oh, of course! You want the one that looks like us." Someone smack her!
Lila is called next. Her collection is… hair things. WHAT?! WHAT?! No way. I’m sure Lila has a lot of hair things but I would think she’d bring the most expensive things she owns in. Fancy dresses? Gems? People who exist solely to serve her!? Come on. No way she’s bringing the $2 scrunchie she bought at the mall. I’m disappointed.
Jessica goes last. She introduces her Jessica collection, saying that she has to prove she’s Jessica because she’s a twin. No one calls her on how self-centered it is to have a whole collection of things with ones name on it. I’m very let down by this.
Then there is some set-up for Bossy Steven.
I'm kind of let-down by this book. The title is the best part. I think, in my head, what happened to the doll is this: Tiny Crazy Margo stole the doll (because she looks like Elizabeth!) and then hung the doll by a noose over Mrs. Otis's desk. And then when the class came back the next day, they were all freaked out and cried. Who would hang a beautiful doll!?
Then Tiny Crazy Margo would chuckle cruelly from the shadows and say, "Soon this ridiculous school with its ridiculous Show and Tell days will all be MINE! Muahahah!"
I love the title of this book. LOVE IT. I mean it’s, well, mysterious. Caroline has dolls? What kind of dolls? Why are they a mystery? I don’t get it!
Check out the cover! Jessica is wearing some kind of horrid red spangled top and it’s tucked into her Mom jeans. And their faces! They look like they found a BODY in that box! Perhaps one left for them by a tiny Crazy Margo? LET US HOPE.
...
You know? I’m really starting to wonder about Tiny Crazy Margo. She’s the same age as the twins. What was she doing when all this happened? What aliens visited her for advice? That’d be an awesome book series. If you’re out there, Francine Pascal, you should get on that. It’d be like Dexter for the grade-school set! A market that is yet to be cornered!
Two twins. Alike but different. On the bus, Jessica confronts Caroline Pearce/Pierce about her porcelain dolls. Jessica doesn’t believe they are real. She thinks Caroline is making it up. Liz tells Jessica she should be nicer to Caroline. Jessica is like “What did I do, Mom?” This boring already.
They’re still talking about the stupid dolls when they get to class. Mrs. Otis decides that the next day they’re going to have a special Show and Tell with the things the kids collect. Caroline has her dolls and Todd has baseball cards (he says he has sixty which makes me roll my eyes. Todd, I had more than that and I’m a girl who hates baseball. So there.) Jessica is pleased with herself-she’s finally going to find out if Caroline’s dolls are real! Until, that is, Liz asks her what she’s going to bring in.
A collection of dead boyfriends, perhaps?
At recess, Caroline asks to borrow Liz’s book about unicorns. (I believe that should be Jessica’s book!) Liz thinks that Caroline is always asking to borrow stuff and she doesn’t return it. Then don’t give it to her, doormat!
Jessica ends up deciding to take her collection of hair things to school. That seems kind of lame, especially since I assume all the barrettes belong to Elizabeth.
Andy collects stamps. Eva collects magnets. Liz collects books. Todd collects baseball cards. Ken collects stickers. … wait! Hold on a tick! Ken collects stickers?! That’s randomly hilarious. I hope they’re sparkly Lisa Frank ones. That would just make my day.
The bell rings before either Jessica or Caroline can show off their collections. Caroline brought a suitcase to school. After prodding from Jessica and Lila, she agrees to open it to show them the doll inside. We’re told it’s her most beautiful doll. But when she opens it…
THERE’S A BODY INSIDE!
… No, I kid. There’s actually nothing inside. Caroline cries. She says someone has stolen her doll. Jessica thinks she’s making it up and has no dolls.
Can I just say that when I was this age, I wouldn’t want a porcelain doll? I mean, my friend, Alison, had a bunch and at first I was really jealous because they looked so pretty and all. But then I got one for Christmas and I couldn’t play with it or do anything. I tried to brush its hair once, and the curls became all mangled. After that, I was completely content to go on playing with my Jem dolls instead. They came with CASSETTE TAPES. Beat that, porcelain dolls!
Liz goes over to Caroline’s house to give her the stupid book. There, Caroline bursts into tears and admits she does not have a porcelain doll collection! She only has one doll and now it is GONE. Caroline cries, cries. Oh second grade drama!
Meanwhile, Jessica has decided her collection of hair things is not as cool as everyone else’s collections. I dunno, Jessica, did you hear about Ken collecting stickers? That’s pretty bad. Liz comes back and says that Jessica has a Jessica collection. She has t-shirts, bracelets, hair things, and a toothbrush (seriously?) that have her name on them. Jessica is excited! She’ll be the only one with a Jessica collection! I think that’s lamer than the hair things, but don’t mind me.
At school the next day, Charlie Cashman and Jerry McAllister admit they took Caroline’s doll. They hid it in… the trash can. Except now it’s not there! WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT? Luckily, the custodian, Jim, has it. The doll-Angelina-is returned to Caroline. Wow, that was some mystery, right guys?
Caroline gets up and talks about her doll. It was made in Germany, where her family is from (?). And it’s been passed down from generation to generation. Each time a female Pearce/Pierce is born, she gets the doll. Angelina’s suitcase has stickers from all over the world on it because she’s been all over the world. Everyone is impressed. (Except me.)
Then Jessica asks Caroline to tell them about her other dolls. Caroline admits there are no other dolls. But she has a magazine about doll collecting and points out the one she is saving up to get. Liz comments it has blonde hair and blue eyes like her and Jessica. That seems an oddly stuck up statement. "Oh, of course! You want the one that looks like us." Someone smack her!
Lila is called next. Her collection is… hair things. WHAT?! WHAT?! No way. I’m sure Lila has a lot of hair things but I would think she’d bring the most expensive things she owns in. Fancy dresses? Gems? People who exist solely to serve her!? Come on. No way she’s bringing the $2 scrunchie she bought at the mall. I’m disappointed.
Jessica goes last. She introduces her Jessica collection, saying that she has to prove she’s Jessica because she’s a twin. No one calls her on how self-centered it is to have a whole collection of things with ones name on it. I’m very let down by this.
Then there is some set-up for Bossy Steven.
I'm kind of let-down by this book. The title is the best part. I think, in my head, what happened to the doll is this: Tiny Crazy Margo stole the doll (because she looks like Elizabeth!) and then hung the doll by a noose over Mrs. Otis's desk. And then when the class came back the next day, they were all freaked out and cried. Who would hang a beautiful doll!?
Then Tiny Crazy Margo would chuckle cruelly from the shadows and say, "Soon this ridiculous school with its ridiculous Show and Tell days will all be MINE! Muahahah!"