(suju) when life gives you lemons; eunhyuk/everyone
when life gives you lemons
(super junior) 3604 wds. pg; rpf, au - eunhyuk, hyuksu, eunhae, eunteuk, hyukmin
(shihyuk, eunshihae, hyuksteph, basically hyuk/everyone and some other implied pairings)
hyukjae hates his life sometimes.
s. in which hyukjae misses his best friend and is a huge drama queen.
a/n. kpop university au collection; urk. i stopped writing this halfway through, didn't add to it for about a month and then came back to it with no idea how i originally intended it to be. i think hyukjae was supposed to get a lot of loving from everyone, but instead it turned out so blatantly hyuksu, and then some. slightly pointless, but totally epic in length (longest fic I've written EVER, i think). thanks loads to crux_australis for the beta. ♥
d. i do not know, nor am i affiliated with, eunhyuk, super junior, or sm entertainment. none of the events depicted in this story happened.
- - -
Hyukjae hates his life sometimes.
This wasn't always the case - from grade to high school, he's always loved his life. It was never perfect, there had always been some minor kinks (being incredibly failtastic is a way of life for him, he thinks sometimes), but he has never hated his life.
Until college. Apparently everything goes absolutely wrong in college.
*
It's bad enough not rooming with his best friend, and okay, they're really just two floors apart, but two floors can seem a lot if you've been together your whole lives (and if you're a huge drama queen, as Junsu would tell him) and if, instead, you get stuck with the dorm's resident fossil - who introduces himself as the dorm's resident adviser, but he's been in college for so long, Hyukjae thinks he might as well be a fossil.
A fossil who was a lot of work, apparently. You'd think being the dorm adviser, he'd be proper and responsible, but it turns out he's actually an expert at shirking responsibility.
"My back hurts, Hyukjae-ah," he'd say on nights before there's room inspection and they have to clean up. And because Hyukjae is Hyukjae, he actually lets it go.
On their first term as roommates, Hyukjae asked him why he doesn't have a single room when he's an R.A., and he can obviously avail of that privilege if he wanted.
"I let Yesung have the single," he'd answered. "It's better for everyone involved."
Yeah, Hyukjae thinks, 'cause this way everyone remains creeped-out by Yesung and you get me to clean up after you.
His life is so hard, obviously.
It's okay though, since Junsu drops by often and they'd goof around and sometimes they'd even manage to trick Eeteuk into treating them out (or trick Eeteuk into getting Kangin to treat them out, which is even better). Sometimes Junsu would come up with a prank or two, and Eeteuk is always the first victim in mind, and it's childish, really, but they're Hyukjae and Junsu and that's what they do.
Usually Sungmin would just roll his eyes at them after he finds out about their latest tricks, never failing to tell them (albeit also always laughing) to "grow up."
So the worst thing ever is when right before their second term during their second year, Junsu uneasily tells him about being accepted in some exchange student program he and his roommate, Yoochun, applied for.
Hyukjae is shocked, of course, and Junsu looks about ready to cry, all apologetic.
"I never thought I'd get in the program," he croaks. "Yoochun and I sent applications on a whim, and now my parents are making me go - they insist it'd be a waste of a good opportunity. It's just a year anyway, Hyukjae-ah."
Hyukjae forces a smile on his face (even though he's still not sure what he feels about this news just yet) and, "I can't believe some Japanese university actually wants your ugly face!" he jokes. "I bet our school's probably glad they can ship you somewhere else even though it only is just a year."
Junsu grins at him gratefully, because this is familiar banter. "Yeah, well take care you don't end up in jail without me to bail you out of every single blunder you make, you monkeyface!"
"Aish!" Hyukjae rolls his eyes, laughing. "Things are bound to be infinitely better without you pulling me down."
"The dance org is going to fail so hard without me," Junsu tuts, shaking his head.
"Oh please," Hyukjae says, "Donghae and I can hold our own pretty well without you, thank you very much."
And they continue like that. But if you ask Hyukjae now, he'll tell you that was the first time he ever thought he really didn't like his life a lot.
*
Hyukjae is a sports major because he loves soccer, and sports in general, and he's always been good at it. He thinks he doesn't mind sitting through some sports history lessons if it meant half the time he could be playing or learning various types of athletics.
In general, despite his thin, lanky built, Hyukjae has always thought he was pretty athletic. But then he met Siwon; perfect guy all around and basically he's good at freaking everything and Hyukjae really can't blame everyone for fawning over him, it's just that Siwon is so good at everything he makes everyone else look less than average.
Sometimes Hyukjae thinks he wants to beat Siwon in something, anything, even if only once.
"You'll get him next time, Hyukjae-ah," Donghae beams at him reassuringly once after he lets Siwon score a winning goal.
Except they both know, in reality, probably not.
"Good game," Siwon smiles at him, dimples on his face, hand held out which Hyukjae promptly shakes, and he thinks you really can't hate the guy even though he constantly makes you look bad.
Donghae pipes up that they should all go get something to eat, and Hyukjae moves to check his phone if Junsu's left a message about plans of any sort until he remembers that his best friend is off having fun (or learning who knows what) in Japan, and he sighs, puts a big smile on his face and agrees.
"Siwon's treat!!" Donghae exclaims, latching an around each of them.
Oh, well, Hyukjae thinks, trying his hardest to be optimistic, if anything, Donghae's enthusiasm is contagious and a free meal from Siwon is always a good thing.
But,
"I'll pass," he says out loud. Free dinner would be a good thing, true, but he just isn't in the mood for it at the moment.
*
Hyukjae starts hanging out with Donghae more now that he isn't constantly attached to Junsu. It isn't that this is an entirely new thing because he (and Junsu, cause that was still a part of the Hyukjae-and-Junsu period of his life) had met Donghae as early as their freshman year because Donghae had nearly all the classes he did, they lived in the same floor, and eventually they had applied (and were accepted) into the same street dance organization for extra-curriculars.
It's slightly different though because, Hyukjae realises, Donghae is slightly different from before. Donghae is still all smiles, bright eyes and skinship, but where Hyukjae remembers Donghae as that kid from Gwangju who looks like he'll burst out crying at the simple provocation (and Hyukjae has to admit, he and Junsu were mean suckers who actually deigned to make Donghae cry repeatedly during their first semester), Donghae is now confident, still a big baby at times but he knows how to it to his advantage instead of the opposite.
Hyukjae thinks if he dares make Donghae cry now, he'll probably be lynched by half their dorm building.
And that's exactly the bad thing about Donghae. He's everybody's Donghae - and he's like a little kid sometimes, with the attention span of one. He'd be clinging to Hyukjae one second, and the next he'd see someone he knows across the quad and he'll be all over that person.
"Kibummie!" he'd shout, or, "Siwonnie!", or, "Yunho-hyung!" (Except, Hyukjae remembers, Yunho's in that exchange program with Junsu now, and he wonders if Donghae misses Yunho as much as he does Junsu.)
But then, so what if Donghae was everyone's? Hyukjae knows it's irrational to have a person all to yourself, and everyone is entitled to more than one friend after all, and isn't friendliness one of Donghae's better qualities?
Hyukjae gets frustrated just thinking about it, because he knows that he doesn't really have the right to demand Donghae's (or anyone's for that matter) attention - he just really misses his best friend is all, and he should really stop looking for Junsu in Donghae because they're two very different people; and maybe Junsu was right after all, and he's really just a huge fucking drama queen.
*
Hyukjae doesn't really remember how he and Junsu got close to Sungmin (probably because he had the room next door and that's where Hyukjae automatically escaped every time Kangin was overdoing who-knows-what with Eeteuk), but for their first semester at the university, the three of them had been inseparable. Sungmin's a hyung despite being only a couple of months older, because between the three of them, he's always been the voice of reason, always acting like an older brother to him and Junsu, trying to get them out of whatever trouble they get themselves into.
Hyukjae also starts spending more time with Sungmin now that Junsu's in Japan. Being with Sungmin is quiet and fun at the same time, and sometimes he'd play computer games with Sungmin's roommate Kyuhyun (except it wasn't really all that fun, 'cause Kyuhyun, for some reason always fucking won anyway), or sometimes they'd go bowling, or get some ice cream, or other similar things.
There are never pranks involved, unlike when he's with Junsu, or Donghae, but Hyukjae thinks it's all good anyway; at least until Sungmin drags him to go shopping with him and that freshman, Ryeowook, in which case, it's an entirely different story.
"I'm not your pack mule," he grumbles one time, struggling to properly carry at least half a dozen shopping bags.
"Hmmm?" Sungmin just smiles at him, and Hyukjae knows that smile, knows it well; knows how it means that no matter how much he protests, there's nothing he can do about it. Ryeowook at least has the gall to look a little guilty.
*
Dancing is something he got into with Junsu when they were in middle school, and Hyukjae likes it because he's decent at it, and because the feeling of moving perfectly synchronized with his friends gives him a special kind of rush. He even formed a hip-hop club with Junsu in high school, so it isn't really much of a stretch that they joined a street dance organization in college even though he was majoring in sports, and Junsu was taking up International Studies.
He's not giving up dance just because Junsu isn't there - there's no way. There's still Donghae, after all, and Shindong-hyung, and,
"There's a new member," Donghae tells him one day when he arrives for practice.
He looks around the room and he immediately spots her. It's hard not to when she's all arms and legs and she's doing stretches and her limbs are just everywhere. His breath hitches.
"All the hyung-deul like her already," Donghae says.
They would, Hyukjae thinks, It's not like there's any other girl left in the group after all. Two graduated the semester before, and one decided to prioritize her studies for that term. He doesn't realise he's been staring at her until she looks up and catches his eye. He quickly looks away when she gives him a mischievous wink, and he doesn't know why he's already failing like this when he hasn't even properly met her yet.
"Hyuk-ah, you okay?" Donghae asks, "You look a little flushed."
"I'm good," he answers, forcing a wide smile on his face. "It's probably only 'cause I ran all the way here. I didn't want to be late."
"Oh okay," Donghae nods, but he doesn't really look completely convinced.
The president of the group later explains: her name's Stephanie, she grew up in America, and she used to do mostly ballet, but she's interesetd in the kind of dancing they do which is why she joined. Hyukjae knows at the back of his mind she isn't really his type, but it's not like he can help himself if he thinks she's fucking sexy, right? Right.
When he stutters his introduction to her later, and she laughs (in a good-natured way, but still), and he thinks about how he doesn't even have Junsu to laugh at him and make light of this stupid situation, he really really wants to disappear off the planet for a short while.
*
"Are you okay?" Eeteuk asks when he enters the room late at night.
"Not really," he mutters, burrowing his face in his pillow. "I just. I hate my life, hyung. I really hate my life."
"Hyukjae-ah?" Eeteuk, worried, repeats, "Hyukjae-ah, are you okay?"
"I'm good, hyung," Hyukjae mumbles with a sigh. "It's just late and I've had a really long day."
*
"Hey dumbass," says a familiar voice on the other line.
"Hey dickwad," Hyukjae shoots back, but there's a huge smile tugging at his lips.
"Wrong number, monkeyface."
"You called me, idiot," Hyukjae laughs. And then a pause, a beat, before, "How's it going over there, Su?"
"It's...," Junsu starts.
"Hey, your brain lagging again?" Hyukjae teases.
"It's called thinking, something I guess you know nothing about," Junsu answers readily. "But really, it's actually been good here."
"That's nice," Hyukjae says.
"Yeah," Junsu muses. "Yeah, it is. I miss Korea though."
"Yeah? I'm pretty sure it doesn't feel the same about you," Hyukjae deadpans.
"Fuck you," Junsu laughs. "Korea misses me more than it will ever miss you."
And Hyukjae just laughs along because he misses Junsu more than the rest of Korea ever will; he just has no idea how to say it aloud.
"Hey Hyuk?"
"Hmm?"
"You doing good there?"
"Of course. What? You think I'd be lost without you? I'm in the best shape ever," Hyukjae says, laughing nervously, and he wonders if Junsu can hear it through the phone lines.
"Just that... well. I received an e-mail from Sungmin-hyung and..."
"I'm great, Su."
"Good, then."
And then there's a little awkward silence and Hyukjae's unsure how it went from light, familiar banter to this. He wants to say something, crack a joke maybe, but his brain isn't really working and he's not sure what he should say. But it turns out he doesn't really need to worry because Junsu is the one who speaks first.
"Hyukjae?" Junsu says.
"Hmm?"
"I miss you."
Hyukjae is a little taken aback, because he figures this is the first time Junsu has ever been this honest with him.
"I miss you too," he mumbles after a short pause.
"Of course you do," and Hyukjae can practically hear him smiling over the phone. "Just don't be such a -"
"A drama queen, yes I know," Hyukjae laughs, cutting him off. "You do know this is quite a phone bill we're racking up, right?"
"It's okay, I'm calling collect," Junsu snorts.
"Asshole."
"And I can go on talking well into the night."
"You're paying for my phone bill," Hyukjae says, but in truth he doesn't really mind going on and on and on for hours still. He really, really doesn't.
*
So Hyukjae hates his life sometimes. But the good part about that statement is the part where it is qualified with 'sometimes' because at least that means there are other times when he doesn't.
Like when his team finally wins over Siwon's for the first time ever, because he actually saves what would have been a winning goal from Siwon. So, okay, it was just an exercise game, and Siwon was kind of distracted, as he was having problems with Heechul, but that's his fault anyway, getting involved with someone like Heechul.
And who cares what the circumstances were, 'cause it felt really good when he made that save, and it feels really good having his teammates cheering him on and thumping his back, and Siwon smiling at him in humble defeat, and he thinks it doesn't really matter if he's never able to win over Siwon again (although it'll be nice to), 'cause he thinks this is good enough for now.
"Great game, Hyukkie!" Donghae exclaims, swinging an arm around his shoulder.
Hyukjae grins at him, mostly because he can't wipe off the stupid smile on his face. "Thanks."
"Good game," Siwon smiles at him, and Hyukjae just shrugs.
And then Donghae pipes up that they should all go get something to eat, and Hyukjae thinks one of the good things in life is that win or lose, he can always count on Donghae to get Siwon to treat them out.
"Siwon's treat!!" Donghae exclaims, as if on cue, latching an around each of them.
*
You know life is getting better, Hyukjae thinks, when you enter your room and it's amazingly spick and span.
"Hyung?" he calls out, wondering where Eeteuk is.
"I'm here, I'm here," says a voice from behind him, Eeteuk entering the room at that exact moment.
"Did you do this?"
"What?"
"Clean the room?"
"Well duh, who else? There's room inspection tomorrow, you know," Eeteuk says pointedly.
And of course Hyukjae knows, 'cause he was expecting to come home and stay up late cleaning even though he had a dozen papers to write and and half a dozen exams to study for.
"You had time?"
"It was a free day."
"Your back doesn't hurt?"
"What do you think of me, Hyukjae?"
Hyukjae shrugs.
"Kangin helped," Eeteuk admits.
Hyukjae smirks.
"Don't be like that," Eeteuk laughs. "If he catches you making that face at him, you're going to get it. Anyway, come on let's have dinner out. My treat."
"What?" Hyukjae laughs and feels the other's forehead with his palm. "Are you sure you're not sick, hyung?"
"Are you going to wait for me to retract my offer?" Eeteuk snaps back, swatting away his arm.
"Fine, fine," Hyukjae says. "Just let me change my shirt."
"Hurry before I change my mind," Eeteuk says.
Hyukae is genuinely smiling, though, since it really does pay off to be rooming with Eeteuk sometimes.
*
"Teukie-hyung has been weirdly nice and productive lately," Hyukjae tells Sungmin.
"Hm?" Sungmin asks as he flips through a magazine. "What do you mean?"
"He's not passing off all his chores on to me, for one," Hyukjae laughs nervously.
"But isn't that a good thing?"
"Uh-huh," Hyukjae pauses. "But don't act like you don't know Teukie-hyung. He's all talk, but when it comes to the brunt work, you know he's the best at getting out of it."
Sungmin sighs, "We're all just worried about you, Hyukjae."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Sungmin puts away the magazine he was reading and looks directly at Hyukjae.
"Well, you know," he starts. "Ever since Junsu went to Japan, you look like you've been carrying the weight of the world."
Hyukjae nervously twiddles his fingers, "Well-"
"And I don't want to belittle Junsu, but he's just one friend, Hyuk," Sungmin says.
"He's my best friend, hyung."
"We know that," Sungmin says, patting Hyukjae's shoulders. "But I guess this is Eeteuk-hyung's way of telling you he's here, and that you can still depend on him. You still have everyone else, Hyuk-ah."
Hyukjae is quiet because he doesn't really know what to say to that. After all, Junsu is Junsu, but he can't believe he's been forgetting the importance of everyone else around him.
"I'm still here, Hyukjae," Sungmin says quietly.
And then Hyukjae smiles at him, takes his hand and squeezes gently.
I know now, hyung, he wants to say. Thanks for reminding me.
But the smile Sungmin flashes back at him shows that he doesn't need to say anything more; that Sungmin already knows without him having to say anything aloud.
*
Stephanie still makes his hands sweat and his heart pound like crazy, even though it's been months.
It's only because she's a girl, he knows Junsu would tell him if the other were here. Get a grip, Hyukjae.
"H-hi," he greets Stephanie, and he hates that he still can't speak to her straight. It's not even that he's like this with all girls. He's a had girlfriends (two, actually) in high school, and while admittedly he stumbled around them before finally asking them out, this is the worst he's ever been. And it's crazy since he knows he doesn't even really want to date her. She just happens to be really hot, and he wonders what he ever did to deserve this, why God turns him into a jumble of nerves around sexy girls.
"You're cute, oppa," Stephanie laughs. "Even though it does seem like you'll be forever hopeless with girls."
So maybe life is getting better again, but him with girls is probably one of the things that he will still fail at for some more time.
"Your popping is great though, oppa, can you show me again?" Stephanie suddenly says, her eyes twinkling.
Oh fuck yes, at least he's got the moves.
"S-sure," he grins.
He clearly just needs to work on the stuttering thing.
"Sure, okay, come on," he repeats unnecessarily.
At least I'm making progress, he tells himself contently.
*
"What time is it?" he grumbles, nearly suffocating from a pair of arms holding him tightly close.
He opens an eye and of course it's Donghae.
"What time is it?" he repeats, squinting his eyes at the alarm clock at his bedside.
8:30 am, it reads.
"Get off me, Hae. How'd you get in anyway," he mutters.
"I caught Eeteuk as he was going off to his morning class," Donghae mumbles, burrowing himself closer to Hyukjae.
"Go away, I don't need to wake up until 11," Hyukjae says.
"You smell," Donghae just comments, slinging a leg on top of Hyukjae instead of moving away.
"You don't have to be here, you know," Hyukjae points out.
"I know," Donghae grins. "But I like your smell. And besides this is the easiest way to wake you up, so we can have breakfast together."
"Mm-hmm," Hyukjae mumbles, smiling to himself and slowly falling back to sleep. They both know neither of them is going to stir again until noon, but Hyukjae thinks it's okay. Donghae is best like this, after all, when Hyukjae has him all to himself.
*
It's only a year, but it's a tough one, but at least it has an end. Sure it was a hard one but Hyukjae gets through because it's only a year, and it has an end, and now he knows the trick is remembering he has more than one friend.
Still, though, Hyukjae thinks as he hugs his best friend and welcomes him back home, he can't help it if Junsu by his side still gives him the biggest smile.
"Are you planning on suffocating me to death?" Junsu laughs, but he's not pulling away either.
Hyukjae punches him lightly on his shoulder. "Ugh I can't remember why I thought it would be a good idea to have you back home."
"Well you're stuck with me again, now," Junsu grins.
"Yeah, yeah, come on," Hyukjae says. "The others are waiting."
Most times, Hyukjae thinks with a huge smile on his face, the universe knows how to fix itself.
/ fin.