Settled!?
Thank you to everyone who showed up to help me move. I couldn't have done it with out you. Several people who came were folks I hadn't seen in several years and that was bitter sweet considering the circumstances. A special HUGE thank you goes out to E of E&E who came to my electrical rescue. Apparently my little townhouse was not wired for an electric dryer and that just had to be fixed!
I am settled in to a certain degree. Most things are in the general vacinity of where they will end up permanently and everything else is in the basement. I have only been there a week so I figure I have time to get myself organized.
I found my self wondering several times - where in the hell did all of this stuff come from! I could have sworn that I got rid of at least as much stuff. I guess I need to do it again.
The first night in the house was ok. I wasn't alone so reality hadn't set in yet. The second night Ms. M and I had dinner at HWWNLJ's place with V & C. Luckily I had made arrangments for someone to drive me home because when I had to leave the house I was a complete mess. It was hard leaving Paul and having that be the final separation, but leaving Ms. M there nearly broke me. C drove me home and I cried the entire way - granted it is only about 10 minutes, but I cried and cried and cried. He helped me calm down and then headed out but after that I cried and cried some more. The next day I was a complete and total mess. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. No one warns you about how hard it will be to walk away from your child. Even if you are leaving them with a trust worthy, honest, good dad, type of guy.
HWWNLJ and I have arranged to split her up during the week. He will have her on Sunday nights, Monday, Tuesday, drop her at school on Wednesday. I will pick her up on Wednesday, have her thursday, friday and then we will alternate every other Saturday. I am dreading Saturday. I hope that it will be easier than Monday. I have chorus on Sunday evenings - so that seems like it shouldn't be as emotionally difficult as the other days.
Ms. M has been clingy and just down right difficult, but I can understand why. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go, she is way to wiggly for that. I looked around on the internet for support for Mom's separated from their children by divorce and couldn't find a single thing on how to handle it. There were thousands and thousands of web pages on how to help your child deal with it but nothing for the Mom or Dad.
Most days I just want to crawl back in bed. My job is going ok. My boss still insists on treating us like little kids and being passive agressive, but it is tolerable. I started school on the 25th and besides being completely overwhelmed by it all that will be fine (I hope, I keep telling myself that). I need to finish these two classes. I will graduate in December.
I am at work today on my scheduled day off. I had to take two afternoons off last week to deal with closings and need to make up the time. However, I haven't been very productive today. I updated my calendar with all of my appointments. WHOO HOO. I need to head out to Boulder here in a few minutes. I am seeing a patient at the cancer center at Foothills. I wish the sun were out it would make it easier to be motivated to go and see this lady.
I am settled in to a certain degree. Most things are in the general vacinity of where they will end up permanently and everything else is in the basement. I have only been there a week so I figure I have time to get myself organized.
I found my self wondering several times - where in the hell did all of this stuff come from! I could have sworn that I got rid of at least as much stuff. I guess I need to do it again.
The first night in the house was ok. I wasn't alone so reality hadn't set in yet. The second night Ms. M and I had dinner at HWWNLJ's place with V & C. Luckily I had made arrangments for someone to drive me home because when I had to leave the house I was a complete mess. It was hard leaving Paul and having that be the final separation, but leaving Ms. M there nearly broke me. C drove me home and I cried the entire way - granted it is only about 10 minutes, but I cried and cried and cried. He helped me calm down and then headed out but after that I cried and cried some more. The next day I was a complete and total mess. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. No one warns you about how hard it will be to walk away from your child. Even if you are leaving them with a trust worthy, honest, good dad, type of guy.
HWWNLJ and I have arranged to split her up during the week. He will have her on Sunday nights, Monday, Tuesday, drop her at school on Wednesday. I will pick her up on Wednesday, have her thursday, friday and then we will alternate every other Saturday. I am dreading Saturday. I hope that it will be easier than Monday. I have chorus on Sunday evenings - so that seems like it shouldn't be as emotionally difficult as the other days.
Ms. M has been clingy and just down right difficult, but I can understand why. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go, she is way to wiggly for that. I looked around on the internet for support for Mom's separated from their children by divorce and couldn't find a single thing on how to handle it. There were thousands and thousands of web pages on how to help your child deal with it but nothing for the Mom or Dad.
Most days I just want to crawl back in bed. My job is going ok. My boss still insists on treating us like little kids and being passive agressive, but it is tolerable. I started school on the 25th and besides being completely overwhelmed by it all that will be fine (I hope, I keep telling myself that). I need to finish these two classes. I will graduate in December.
I am at work today on my scheduled day off. I had to take two afternoons off last week to deal with closings and need to make up the time. However, I haven't been very productive today. I updated my calendar with all of my appointments. WHOO HOO. I need to head out to Boulder here in a few minutes. I am seeing a patient at the cancer center at Foothills. I wish the sun were out it would make it easier to be motivated to go and see this lady.