Strapless Strap On for FTM
Strap-on-me, Lifelike Lover (with accessories), and Double Enjoy Cannon
As transgender man, sex is kind of a minefield for me. I long to know what it's like to top to my future husband, to feel all of him and give myself to him. A strapless strap on is the closest I have ever been able to come to achieving this.
I like them so much that I have tried three so far, and have my eye set on a few more. I'll share what I've learned in this article and review the ones I've tried. I'll also go over the ones on my wishlist and what I hope to find in the perfect strapless strap on.
The strapless strap on is the ultimate symbol of transformation to me. It turns my natal parts into my desired parts in a pleasurable, fun, and sexy way. When worn, I can feel even the lightest tap on the tip all the way through my body even with my eyes closed. It's a miraculous experience for me. Technology is amazing.
Anatomy of a Strapless Strap On
Strapless strap ons are characterized by their ability to be worn without a harness. This is due to the addition of the stem and bulb that extend from the base of the dildo. The bulb is then inserted into the wearer, typically the front hole, and supports the weight of the dildo.
The bulb tends to have either an egg shape or a bean shape. I find the egg is more secure, but the bean is more pleasurable and comfortable.
Strapless strap ons are not always truly harness free, but they do at least provide me with physical feedback that conquers gender dysphoria. I once tried a traditional strap on, but getting absolutely no feeling in it made me miserable. Sex is supposed to be fun, not miserable, so I knew that wasn't right for me.
Common Features
Vibrators! Bendable! Inflating! Remote controlled! Self pleasure! These features are commonly listed on strapless strap ons, and each one can seriously add the experience of using the toy.
The vibrators in these kinds of toys are typically either built-in or inserted bullet vibe.
It's purely personal preference when it comes to choosing the type of vibrator. I opt for no vibrator at all usually.
When a strapless strap on is bendable, that can mean one of two things: the insertable part can be bent or the stem can be adjusted. I never buy a strapless strap on without an adjustable stem. Not everyone's body works the same way, so the perfect angle for one person might be unusable for the next. This basic feature should be on every strapless strap on.
One company, Strap-U has come up with a super cool innovation: the inflatable bulb. It starts at a small bean shape for easy insertion, then inflates into an egg shape for security. Once you're done, it can be transformed back into a bean for painless removal.
The only reason I haven't already added this miraculous invention to my arsenal is because it doesn't have an adjustable stem. Just look at that stem! It's bent at such a severe angle, I wonder if anyone is capable of comfortably wearing it.
Remote control applies mostly to vibrators. It's a nice perk, but typically unnecessary, especially because most also place the controls for the vibrators or other electronics on the side of the toy. They are typically very small and intuitive to use; however, their small size makes them easy to lose. The ones I have used also take batteries, which is just an extra expense I'd rather not deal with.
Finally, my favorite feature: self pleasure. This refers, of course, to the person wearing the dildo. There are many options and choices for self pleasure when it comes to strapless strap ons. The most common, of course, is vibrators, but I prefer the ridged base that stimulates my t-cock. This bit of stimulation actually gets me off better than a vibrator.
A Word about Color
Color choice is pretty limited on strapless strap ons, as they are typically marketed to lesbians or straight women who want to peg. As such, the realistic options are limited. Most vendors offer unrealistic, fun, bright colors like pink, purple, blue, and midnight black. Some offer a singular pale skin tone option, and it's usually the only somewhat realistic color. Dark skin tones are rare in lower end strapless strap ons. I find this to be ridiculous. How can these companies offer a "realistic" color but completely forget that dark skinned people exist? Hello, it's 2024. Enough with the subtle racism already. And yes, it is racist to pretend white is the only skin color.
As a trans guy, I have a different agenda for a strapless strap on than a lesbian or straight woman, thus color is very important to me, whereas it might not be for them. Thankfully, there are a couple of trans man owned businesses that do offer ultra realistically colored strapless strap on--for ALL races, not just white people.
Pymander is based out of Italy offers free skin tone customization. Gendercat is based out of the United States and has over 200+ skin tones. Both companies have strapless strap ons designed with trans men in mind.
Trial-and-Error
Finding a cock that feels like it's the one I should have been born with is a monumental task. At first, I was only interested in something I could top with that would also give me sensation. The more cocks I tried, the more I became convinced that I could "the one." So far, I've tried three, but I intend to keep testing until I find the one that feels like a true extension of me.
Strap-On-Me
The first I tried was the Strap-On-Me. They are the most well-known strapless strap on on the market. I chose it because it had good reviews, offered a color that would work for me, and it had vibrators.
Strap-on-me in vanilla, size large
I purchased the vanilla in size large, and boy it is large. The insertable part is just over six inches and it is very girthy. It has three vibrators: one in the egg, one in the shaft, and one in the base. It stayed in with no harness necessary; however, it was painful for me and not very comfortable for my partner, either. He found the penis end to be too hard. It is very solid and dense silicone, which makes it heavy. It doesn't feel realistic at all. The bulbous glans is also very difficult to accept as the bottom.
I found the egg to be quite painful when inserting and even worse when removing. Once it was in, though, it didn't hurt. It didn't exactly pleasure me, but it wasn't painful while wearing. It also did as advertised. It stayed put no matter what position my partner and I were in or how passionate I was.
The first time I made love topping my partner, I was apprehensive. I had never topped a cisgender man before, so I was nervous. What if I hurt him? What if my cock wasn't good enough? But as I held him and entered him, looking into his eyes, all my insecurities melted away. He took my cock and moaned in pleasure, his wild lusty eyes begging for more. It's a moment I replay in my head often.
Ultimately, I've moved on from the strap-on-me. It was good enough to get the job done, but it left me wanting more. I was unable to achieve orgasm using this strap on, and it actually hurt too much for me to fully relax and enjoy myself.
Lifelike Lover
Not satisfied with feeling pain while topping, I decided to try something else. I was also not happy with the level of realism provided by the strap-on-me, so I did a little hunting and ended up purchasing the Lifelike Lover by Lovehoney. It only comes in one color: paper white.
Lifelike Lover
Let's be honest: this thing is not realistic. If you saw it, you'd immediately know it wasn't a real penis. That said, it is at least trying to be a penis and not just a phallic shaped object. The veins and wrinkles give it a nice texture for the receiver as well. It is slim for a dildo and the insertable length is just under 6 inches. The version I got doesn't have any vibrators, but there's a version with a slot to put a bullet vibe. I don't need it though. The bean shape and ridges on the base provide me with enough simulation that I finish every time I use it.
The first time I tried it on, I felt so much euphoria it was almost overwhelming. See, I have pretty intense "phantom dick" syndrome, a phenomenon that is commonly experienced by transgender men. It means that I can actually "feel" my dick even though I don't have one. When I put on the lifelike lover, I closed my eyes and reached out for my cock, and there it was, right where I felt it. It was a powerful moment for me.
It didn't look real enough though. I wanted more, but couldn't (and still can't) quite afford something like Gendercat or Pymander. That's when I got the idea to add a penis sleeve. During my search for a penis sleeve, I also found the Rodeoh c-ring balls.
Accessories enhance my hard-on experience
The c-ring balls attachment is intended to make scrotum-less dildos more realistic, and it does the job well. The ultra realistic cock sleeve is from an Etsy shop which unfortunately no longer exists. I needed a sleeve with a ball strap because it will be used for anal sex. The last thing I would want after a passionate night of lovemaking would be to take my fiance to the ER to pull half my cock out of his ass!
The balls are excellent. They are large, round, and full. They swing with my movements, adding a sexy slapping sound to sex as I pound my man. The sleeve is a true work of art. It is textured and painted, and when I attach my cock now, you would never know it was removable.
A complete and virile man
This cock is almost perfect. The only problem? It constantly falls out! Not only is that embarrassing but it's also dysphoria-inducing. It's comparable to body horror in a horror movie. My literal penis has just fallen off. I feel a very strong connection to it, so it is quite distressing when this occurs. Additionally, it means I'm not as free to fuck my man however I want. Pretty much the only position we can do with this cock is me laying down and him bouncing on it, which is hot for sure, but I'd also like to pound him from the back or missionary.
So that brings me to the most recent strapless strap on I've tried.
Double Enjoy Cannon
Double Enjoy Cannon
This is one I was very skeptical of at first because I initially saw it on AliExpress, which isn't exactly known for selling high quality items. It wasn't too expensive though, so I went ahead took the risk. I'm glad I did.
It is dual density and has two vibrators. The insertable length is about five and a half inches. The most interesting feature of this, however, is that the bulb is intended to be inserted anally. I personally do not enjoy having things stuck up in my ass, but I know for lots of trans men, inserting anything into the front hole is an absolute no-go. Well, this cock may be for you, then.
Being from AliExpress, I was worried it wasn't real silicone. I applied a few tests to see if it was in fact silicone:
- Pinch/stretch/twist test: pinch, stretch or twist the material firmly, if it becomes slightly white in color, there are likely non-silicone fillers in it.
- Direct flame test: choose a section of the toy that would not be inserted anywhere and hold a lit lighter beneath the toy for a few seconds. Silicone does not easily combust, and when it does, it produces a white ashy appearance.
- Float test: solid silicone sinks, other materials may float.
The double enjoy cannon passed with flying colors. I am about 95% certain this is genuine silicone, and therefore body safe.
Wishlist
I still haven't found my perfect cock for sex. Finding my perfect cock is an expensive game of trial and error, but there are some very strong contenders.
Gendercat Anchor
Gendercat has always amazed me with the realistic look they have been able to achieve with their molds and colors. I've heard some amazing reviews from other guys about their hard and soft prosthetics alike. The Anchor is their newest innovation, and when I heard about it, I immediately wanted one of my own. The only problem is that the stem of the Anchor is not adjustable. Since I have been using strapless strap ons for so long, I know what the best angle of stem is for me, which is about 90 degrees. This stem appears to be very tight. I am not confident that I would be able to wear it, much less enjoy wearing it. For a hefty $300+ pricetag, I need to be certain I'll get a lot of use out of it.
Pymander 4-in-1 Skin + Inner Doe Rod
Pymander has one of the most impressive FTM prosthetics I think I've ever seen. The moving skin is insanely lifelike, and the coloration and embossed veins are tantalizing. The inner doe rod uses the egg shaped bulb, which gives me pause since the strap-on-me uses the same one and caused me a lot of pain.
The self pleasure system on the Pymander rod looks really appealing, too. It seems to be a cross between penetrating sensation and rubbing sensation.
Despite my hesitation, I have already ordered the inner doe rod and am waiting for it to be delivered. I haven't yet ordered the actual prosthetic; the 4-in-1 skin is expensive, so I am saving up and will be purchasing it next year most likely.
Injoyus
The injoyus internal portion is an innovative idea. It's a strapless strap on attachment that is designed to fit into the dildos available from the same store. Reviews indicate that it stays in easily for many users, but some find it too big to use at all. The angle is rigid and non-adjustable, which would usually concern me, but the angle on this looks about right for me. It's expensive, $109 plus shipping just for the attachment. If it works, it would be worth it.
The most attractive thing about this attachment is that it seems to work well with vac-u-lock dildos according to several reviews. There's even an adapter on the thingiverse that converts the injoyus to vac-u-lock. That unlocks a huge potential for customization and experimentation.
Real Deal Hairy Balls
Finally, the latest addition to my wishlist. This is not a strapless strap on, but rather a vac-u-lock cock that would be paired with the injoyus attachment.
The Real Deal Hairy Balls 7.8 from Fort Troff
Fort Troff is the only company I know of that offers hairy balls on their dildos and packers. I have their hairy packer and I love it. So naturally, I would want a hard cock to match. That would feel like it was all me, all the time.
The only concern with the Real Deal Hairy Balls is that it's made of UR3, not silicone, so it could never be fully sterilized. UR3 is a porous material, meaning that bacteria can take hold and grow in the tiny holes throughout the dildo. It's not a huge problem though, as a condom with no lube (as condoms use silicone based lube, which would destroy the cock) can be worn to ensure no bacteria has the opportunity to take hold.
Closing Thoughts
A dildo is a fun toy for most people, meant to add a little spice to your sexual life. As a trans man, it is really a prosthetic penis, meant to make me feel whole as a human being. It's an important tool that often makes me feel vulnerable and insecure. I haven't found the perfect prosthetic for the bedroom yet, but I haven't let my failures deter me from continuing the search. With each experiment, I note what I liked and what I didn't, and let those conclusions propel me forward. I have every confidence that one day, I will find the one for me. It may even be one of the options I listed here in my wishlist.
If you are a trans man, or other ftm individual, know that you are not alone. It's daunting to exist in this world and it can be embarrassing to struggle with dysphoria, especially when it's related to sex and genitals. Sex being such a taboo makes this already difficult struggle so much worse. But I believe that someday, we will be able to exist in the open without ignorance or hatred making us fear for our lives or believe there is something wrong with us.
Stay strong bros. And happy cock hunting.