(no subject)
The other day, I rushed to take a shower because I slept in and was running late to meet a friend. Unfortunately, the cold tab became loose preventing me from getting any cold water. So I ran over to my parent's washroom, huridly got into the tub, started to shampoo my hair.. but alas.. What do I see over the window, a freaking man painting the outside wall. I was literally a meter away. I realized this after 5 mintues into the shower. Not enough time to scream to dear god, I quickly docked below the window and stretched my right arm towards the window and slammed it as fast as I could. Without even thinking twice about the window, I just took a shower as I always did. I never liked closing the window because the washroom became too humid after the shower, thus I always kept it open. After this traumatizing event, I think I'll learn to be more cautious. The things that I always thought would never occur to me.. did. That just proves, one can never be sure. ----why me -_-; I just hope that man never noticed a thing. I'm just really mortified. -o-
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I've got less than ten days until I decide my fate. My dad, to my surprise, is very supportive of whichever I decide to chose. My mom on the other hand is quite untrusting of my decisions, supposely she believes that I never "finish" anything. To certani extent, that is true but what she compares to is quite absurd. How I never used the rollerblade when she purchased me one, how I bought an acoustic guitar but never played with it. Yes yes.. in those cases it's is absolutely true, but this is my future I'm speaking of. Both my parents want me to make my decision fast! Pronto. But how can I make a life altering change without putting not enough thought into it. Or perhaps I did enough thinking.. but I'm still unconvicted. I'm not exceedingly good at one thing, I believe I'm more of an average writer, average artist, and an average designer. It's a mere mediocricy. That's what I belive.
I just have potential, that's all. A friend of mine said I can be whatever I want, something along the line that I have many talents. But .. as I mentioned.. a mere mediocricy.
So, my friend asked "what do you love most?"
That was easy. I love reading. I love writing. I love how expressing in words free me.
It is my therapy. What is kililng me inside, I extract the poison with evry word I write.
Art. To me it is simply easy. I do it with ease. I never practice aside from classroom settings. I'm quite confident. But it ends there. There is nothing that I want to do with art nor see a future in that field. I feel more personal with my writings as opposed to my art. My art is merely color on canvas, whereas words are my reflection of me. What's preventing me from making this jump is fear, and though everyone tells me to face fear eye to eye, it's only easy when spoken. I'm frightened for dear life. All these 'what if's'. Wanting to be a writer, not knowing what kind-- I have't had that much luxury to think that far-- this idea has only been embedded in my mind for merely half a year thus far, not long enough to call it a "calling". But an inner intuition tells me I've always had this hidden dream. I've probably brushed this thought away in the past, always having not quite enough confidence in my writing to exist in the 'real world'.
The debate still continues.
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I've got less than ten days until I decide my fate. My dad, to my surprise, is very supportive of whichever I decide to chose. My mom on the other hand is quite untrusting of my decisions, supposely she believes that I never "finish" anything. To certani extent, that is true but what she compares to is quite absurd. How I never used the rollerblade when she purchased me one, how I bought an acoustic guitar but never played with it. Yes yes.. in those cases it's is absolutely true, but this is my future I'm speaking of. Both my parents want me to make my decision fast! Pronto. But how can I make a life altering change without putting not enough thought into it. Or perhaps I did enough thinking.. but I'm still unconvicted. I'm not exceedingly good at one thing, I believe I'm more of an average writer, average artist, and an average designer. It's a mere mediocricy. That's what I belive.
I just have potential, that's all. A friend of mine said I can be whatever I want, something along the line that I have many talents. But .. as I mentioned.. a mere mediocricy.
So, my friend asked "what do you love most?"
That was easy. I love reading. I love writing. I love how expressing in words free me.
It is my therapy. What is kililng me inside, I extract the poison with evry word I write.
Art. To me it is simply easy. I do it with ease. I never practice aside from classroom settings. I'm quite confident. But it ends there. There is nothing that I want to do with art nor see a future in that field. I feel more personal with my writings as opposed to my art. My art is merely color on canvas, whereas words are my reflection of me. What's preventing me from making this jump is fear, and though everyone tells me to face fear eye to eye, it's only easy when spoken. I'm frightened for dear life. All these 'what if's'. Wanting to be a writer, not knowing what kind-- I have't had that much luxury to think that far-- this idea has only been embedded in my mind for merely half a year thus far, not long enough to call it a "calling". But an inner intuition tells me I've always had this hidden dream. I've probably brushed this thought away in the past, always having not quite enough confidence in my writing to exist in the 'real world'.
The debate still continues.