someone call an ambulance cause somethings not right
I never write in this anymore. I guess its because i will end up sounding like the broken record that I am.
Today marks the 6th year i have been without my father. I miss him more
than I can really handle. It breaks me down to that raw and vulnerable state. Now im watching my mother die. It just seems like everyone important to me just goes away. Im assuming thats why im so dysfunctional. This life isnt fair by any means. I just wish I wasnt so alone dealing with it all. Technically im not alone, I have my pills and my alcoholism that keeps me company, but it has to be more personal than that, something I can hold without feeling guilty. Pulling myself out of this funk is so taxing. My body wont be able to take much more. Soon i will end up comatose and nothing will matter, and id like to do something about that before it gets to that point. i fucking hate being miserable.
someone get drunk with me soon, all this drinking alone business isnt doing me any justice.
Today marks the 6th year i have been without my father. I miss him more
than I can really handle. It breaks me down to that raw and vulnerable state. Now im watching my mother die. It just seems like everyone important to me just goes away. Im assuming thats why im so dysfunctional. This life isnt fair by any means. I just wish I wasnt so alone dealing with it all. Technically im not alone, I have my pills and my alcoholism that keeps me company, but it has to be more personal than that, something I can hold without feeling guilty. Pulling myself out of this funk is so taxing. My body wont be able to take much more. Soon i will end up comatose and nothing will matter, and id like to do something about that before it gets to that point. i fucking hate being miserable.
someone get drunk with me soon, all this drinking alone business isnt doing me any justice.