the first real rant since D day
what am i supposed to do? seriously... when the person you love kills you with his words, and the only friends you have left are his very own great friends... what happens when the two of you break up? you break up with the friends too. there are the few that will stay around for a bit of time, but inthe end you all basically stop talking. whats the point in the wait. i feel horrible for taking everyone off my myspace, but its myspace... they arent erased off of my BL. and besides this shit goes both ways. if you never talked to me then, why would you now? i dont get it. i catch wind of an irritability of this... and its just like AHHHH!!! besides most prolly dont even know they were erased...
its not that i dont want to talk to these people.. in fact the ones that i did talk to i miss. but god dammit. seriously now... how the fuck am i supposed to get over someone i still fucking love if i cant forget everything about him!!???!?!!!??!??!?!?!?!?! the people would make it worse. he killed my heart with this bullshit. and as much as i wish i could have my fairytale ending.. i wont. why? because hes too damn stubborn to make an effort. everyone knows that when a girl does this bullshit... that she secretly wants him to chase her down. even the dude that acts dumb... and says he never knew it ... he does, he knows it.. and the ones who act on it... they get everything ever dreamed of.
besides, i may have taken the step to end it because i felt, neglected, and mistreated emotionally, but you knwo what, i made the step and explained what i needed and hes the one that chose to not take that road. so what am i supposed to do? cry my eyes out every night, begging him to talk to me so i can win him back. FUCK NO. im tired of the all shit i had to do all the time ... i suffered thru this long distance relationship just as much as he did, but i did it because i love him, yea thats right i still do ... i cant just erase it. i need to take him out of my life to get over it, get over him.
/end rant.
its not that i dont want to talk to these people.. in fact the ones that i did talk to i miss. but god dammit. seriously now... how the fuck am i supposed to get over someone i still fucking love if i cant forget everything about him!!???!?!!!??!??!?!?!?!?! the people would make it worse. he killed my heart with this bullshit. and as much as i wish i could have my fairytale ending.. i wont. why? because hes too damn stubborn to make an effort. everyone knows that when a girl does this bullshit... that she secretly wants him to chase her down. even the dude that acts dumb... and says he never knew it ... he does, he knows it.. and the ones who act on it... they get everything ever dreamed of.
besides, i may have taken the step to end it because i felt, neglected, and mistreated emotionally, but you knwo what, i made the step and explained what i needed and hes the one that chose to not take that road. so what am i supposed to do? cry my eyes out every night, begging him to talk to me so i can win him back. FUCK NO. im tired of the all shit i had to do all the time ... i suffered thru this long distance relationship just as much as he did, but i did it because i love him, yea thats right i still do ... i cant just erase it. i need to take him out of my life to get over it, get over him.
/end rant.