ok so

[zwildeb]

I posted a poem on myspace and I got to thinking about it, and I realized that I have a lot of friends in different branches of the military. Some of them are really close, and some of them I've never meet face to face, some are from high school, and some are just friends of friends. But I started thinking that all of these people (some of whom I'm VERY attached to) all go out and risk their lives, or will if they haven't already. And we're so lucky that they do because without them life would be so very different. But at the same time if these people die it leaves such a void where they used to be. Friends, lovers, family, even past lovers. At this point I've got all the bases covered. And then what? I'm the kind of person that forms really lasting attachments and even when I don't see people for prolonged periods of time I still miss them when they're gone. I lost a friend from high school a year into college and even though I hadn't seen him in almost a year it still hurt a lot, I still miss him. So what happens when another one of my friends dies? How are you supposed to deal with that, how can you look at the letter stamped "Recipient deceased" and not die a little bit inside. My Dad still has the last letter that he sent to a friend while they were in vietnam writing back and forth from their respective bases. And that makes me want to cry, and Steve died before I was born...I love all these people to varying degrees and I don't want to lose any of them. I'm just really afraid that it's inevitable.

And wow that was one big long rambling post..