(no subject)
Last night i was ready for a huge rant. I just needed to blow off some steam. lucky for my poor keyboard i took it out in text messages to Jimmy. lmao! I feel better now. I had a minor cry fest today to michael. I've really been missing my brother greg and he hasnt put any effort into contacting me in the last 2 months. Also Michael is leaving for college in the end of the summre but before hand he is going ona 2 month trip to europe. So when i get on the subject thoughts fly through my brain and i just cant handle it. I'm going to miss him so much. he didnt get into MIT after all so he'll be going to UF in gainesville. I'm going to visit him as much as possible. I asked if he would get annoyed by it and he was like not every week you have to work. But every chance i get i will be there. He said i wont annoy him. hehe. I'm afraid of losing him once he's gone. My heart just cant bare it. I'm scared of losing the one i've dreamed about and lived for for the last 2 years. I've gone 2 years seeing him basically every day. every so often he would go to his mom's in boca and i would stay behind but it was like a day or 2 at a time. It's just not the same.
EASTER IS SUNDAY! i honestly had no idea. it is usually in april so i was lost. Mike was like yeah we have friday off for good friday and i argued for 10 mins that it had to just be a teacher work day. Boy was i embarrassed after that one. lmao!
So i went to walmart last night to pick up some condoms because the supply is very low... Of all people to be there and line up behind me in the line it was Kathlene, Matt Henry, and Lindsey! they all thou8ght i was like the innocent girl next door, which now they know i'm not. lmao! I guess i could say i am a bit innocent. i've never broken the law. i've only sipped on alcohol a few times like any i guess you could say innocent girl. lol. i tried pot a few times and it's nasty but im not like a super pot head. i tried smoking and that was gross too. I've had sex but yeah i'm almost 21 years old and come on people no one that age is a virgin anymore. well there are a few but that's it! Girls that were raised to not have sex till marrage. And i totaly respect that. I thought that would be me, i truely did. It just happenned. I dont know how...well i do it's not hard to explain taking clothes off and gettin dowan n dirty. lmao. Yes half of my journal entry is on sex. oh well it's a journal! Yes sex, sex is good!...and proven to be healthy in a relationship. It's not like im a slut or anything. I've been with one guy and that's michael. I wish it could only be him for the rest of my life. Meaning i wish to marry him and grow old with him. Only time can tell how that will go. but i do worry that it wont go the way i want it to.
I feel like talking to someone i havent spoken to in a long time...i just wanna catch up on things with my friends i had in highschool.