destruction
Its been years probably. This is the only appropriate outlet anymore. There is a bomb. Its closer than you think. Hatred and jealousy are not welcome here... but here they come. The time has passed... the life is over. Toss your roses and kiss your loved ones. An empty picture frame filled with ashes. It's never worked before, why would it work now? Beauty is repulsed by admiration. Some might even call it... creepy. My past future unfolds before my eyes. It is filled with success. The skewed tangent was not an improvement. The moment I second guessed myself I entered a reality structured against me. Being true to yourself, no matter how painful, is the only way... if you ever hope to progress in life. I have gone too far to go back. I am old. The memories of what could have been are painfully acted out before me. Everything I ever wanted, right in front of me. If only I had believed in myself instead of being convinced of an evil flaw. I compromise myself. My curse until death. It has been to long. This is my fate. Observe the success objectively. I will never have the success I was once destined for. My commitment to self destruction has sealed my fate. As it turns out, I was perfect to begin with, despite my original analysis. Now... I have gone too far. I am too old. It is too late. I missed my opportunity. So now I sit back and watch the successes that could have been... vicariously. I am no longer relevant. My time to affect the world has passed. Now... I am resigned to observe. The chaotic and self defeating path I committed myself to years ago is inescapable. It is time to accept my fate. The one force in my life I have never understood until now. I once had the opportunity to choose it. I wish I had known then that I would never have that opportunity again. Such is life. There is no more choice. There is only obligation.
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