A Life Without Regret - Chapter 2
Title: "A Life Without Regret - Chapter 2"
Author: zuppi
Pairing: Ed/Winry
Rating: M/15
Spoilers: General manga spoilers. (nothing specific)
Thanks to please-knock for catching my typos!
Summary: It's almost become a vicious cycle... No matter what he does he can never make up for the past. But getting past the guilt can sometimes prove too hard and we find ourselves repeating mistakes over and over.
A Life Without Regret - Chapter 1
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters contained within this fanfiction. It is the property of Hiromu Arakawa, Square Enix Co., Ltd.'s and Monthly Shonen Gangan. I simply worship and adore... sometimes I write fic.
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Almost sick with nerves, Winry leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her eyes falling closed. She smiled sadly as he gasped, pulling back from her. She sat back, her eyes once again finding the hem of her skirt very interesting.
She heard the bed creak as Ed sat up straight. “Winry.” His voice was a little shaky and quiet. She rarely heard him address her like that.
Her eyes remained downcast. She refused to look at him, to acknowledge the rejection she knew would be evident in his eyes. Praying, she hoped he would just get up and leave, that he would pretend nothing had happened and that they could carry on as normal.
“Winry.” His voice was a little harsher, more pressing.
She bit her lip, closing her eyes. Why wouldn’t he just leave? Why couldn’t he be like he always was when it came to emotional matters and just ignore them completely? She gasped as his human fingers lightly brushed her thigh. It was barely a touch, in fact, had she not been so tense she would have missed it, but there was no denying Ed had actually reached out and touched her. He definitely wanted her attention.
Blinking back tears of embarrassment and frustration, she turned her eyes to him, looking up through the curtain of her fringe. Ed looked just as tense as she. His brow was furrowed and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He took a deep breath as she looked to him and his mouth opened and closed. She knew he wanted to say something but, as usual, could not articulate his thoughts. His amber eyes fell to her mouth before looking back to her eyes as he wrinkled his brow.
Winry almost laughed… He wanted to kiss her! She knew, she could tell. His eyes swept over her mouth and back to her eyes over and over. He was flustered and tense and waiting for her to make the first move.
Clenching her fists to stop them trembling, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his once more. This time Ed did not retreat. He inhaled deeply, moving forward almost imperceptibly. His index finger grazed her thigh and she moved her own hand forward to clutch at his fingers. She opened her mouth slightly and ran her tongue across Ed’s bottom lip. He sighed, leaning forward and opening his mouth. Winry’s free hand found its way to Ed’s cheek. She stroked his cheekbone and threaded her fingers in his hair. Her stomach jumped as Ed slipped his tongue into her mouth. He seemed nervous and unsure, his shyness causing Winry’s heart to race.
Without warning, Ed pulled back. He lowered his head and took deep, calming breaths. Winry remained transfixed, her forehead pressed against his and her hand on his cheek. Her voice cracked as she addressed him. “Ed?”
He looked up at her, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Winry sighed under his intense gaze. His pupils were dilated and his cheeks were stained pink. In all the years she had been harbouring feelings for the young alchemist she had never truly found him as attractive as now; sitting a hair’s breath from her, nervous and vulnerable, devoid of his usual cocky armour. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek and the fluttering of his heartbeat where her little finger rested above his jugular.
“Are you ok?” Winry whispered, not trusting her voice.
Ed shrugged, blushing further. “I’ve… I’ve never…” He looked down, worrying his lip.
Winry pressed her forehead against his, smiling. “Neither have I.”
Ed looked back to her, a crooked grin on his lips. It was a smile Winry hadn’t seen in years, not arrogant or cocky but amused and shy. With a sigh, Winry pressed her lips to his once more. Ed hesitated for a second before he began to kiss her back. This time he was more insistent, his flesh hand coming to rest on her waist. Trembling slightly, Winry wrapped her arms around Ed’s neck and began to pull him back onto the bed. She felt him tense against her for a second before relaxing against her.
Ed pulled back and looked down, his hair tickling her face. He bit his lip. “Eh… are you okay?” His voice was husky.
Winry nodded, running her fingers through his honey-blond hair. Hands moving to his muscular back, Winry pulled Ed against her. His lips found hers once more, while he slipped his human hand under her t-shirt. Winry gasped and arched against him as Ed stroked up and down her rib cage. She gripped at his shoulders, breathing in his scent as he kissed her deeply.
Winry inhaled sharply as Ed’s automail hand ghosted across her stomach. He immediately froze, pulling back from her.
Winry winced at her reaction. She clutched Ed’s shoulders, pulling him back as he tried to sit up. “Ed, don’t.”
He frowned, shaking his head and slipping from her grip. He sat up and swung his legs to the floor, his automail foot clunking on the wood.
“Ed.” Winry sat up next to him. She reached out for his human hand only to have him snatch it away. “Ed, please. I-”
“So much for seeing past the auto-mail.” He glared at his leg, clenching his human hand.
“I do, it’s just-”
Ed snorted and turned away from her.
“Ed!” She leaned forward and grabbed his automail hand savagely. Glaring at him, she shoved it against his own stomach. Ed gasped, instinctively pulling back as the metal grazed his abdomen. “See!” Winry pushed it against him again. “It’s freezing cold, okay?”
“Okay!” Ed twisted his hand from her grasp. He looked up at Winry as she began to giggle. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head and sighed, looking back at him. “I told you, I don’t care if you have automail or not.” She willed him to believe her, her eyes searching his.
Ed sighed and looked away. Winry’s heart raced. She could almost see Ed’s carefully constructed armour going back up… her opportunity passing her by. Decisively, she reached forward and took Ed’s automail hand in her own. He resisted her but Winry pulled harshly, succeeding in getting Ed’s attention.
He looked back at her, his expression annoyed and uncertain. Trembling, Winry guided Ed’s hand under her shirt, using her own fingers to ensure it cupped her breast.
She looked back to Ed. He was staring at her chest, transfixed. Winry grinned in response.
Ed jumped, retracting his hand and looking to her. His face was beetroot red. “Sorry.” He mumbled under his breath.
“It’s ok.” Winry’s voice was breathy.
Ed stared at her, smiling shyly. Biting his lip, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. Winry inhaled deeply, leaning into him as she gripped at his arm. Ed made a small sound in the back of his throat as he scooted forward, slipping his automail arm around her waist in the process.
This time it was Ed who guided her back onto the bed. Winry sighed contentedly as his weight settled on top of her, bringing her arms to clutch at his naked back. Ed moaned low in his throat before pulling back to look down at her. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes dilated with lust.
“Are… are you sure?” His breathing was rapid and shallow.
Winry smiled shyly at him, brushing his hair back from his face. She nodded stiffly, not trusting her voice at that moment. With a grin, she leaned forward and captured his lips once more. Ed fell upon her, his left hand stroking her cheek while his automail hand snaked under her t-shirt.
With a great deal of fumbling they managed to wriggle out of their clothes. Ed blushed the entire time. He seemed to find great difficulty in looking at Winry, only flushing brighter and dropping his eyes whenever she caught him gazing at her.
It hurt more than Winry had expected. She winced, biting down on her lip. Ed paused as her fingers clutched involuntarily at his shoulders. “Are you ok?”
She looked up at him, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.” She swallowed, breathing deeply and willing herself to relax. The pain began to ease and she smiled up at Edward. His arms were trembling with the effort of remaining still and his face was a mask of concentration. Winry leaned forward, kissing him while she eased her grip on his shoulders, moving her hands to his hips as a sign of her readiness.
Ed moaned loudly as he began to move against her, kissing her back only for a second before he began to pant against her neck.
It was nothing like Winry was expecting. The other girls had whispered and giggled about their experimentation but they hadn’t mentioned it being like this. It still hurt a little and she felt somewhat self-conscious being naked with Ed. It was stranger for her to see him like this; laying himself bare before her. Even during his lucid moments of automail surgery he had done everything in his power to control his emotions. Seeing him like this almost felt like she was trespassing on something intensely private where she had no place.
Suddenly, Ed’s movements became more erratic. He gasped against her before supporting himself on his left hand. Clumsily he kissed Winry, wrapping his automail hand across her shoulder as he pulled her against him.
Winry winced as his grip increased. She could see the tension in Ed’s shoulders, his brow furrowed and jaw clenched. He gasped once more, gripping her more tightly.
“Ed!” Winry squeaked in pain, trying to squirm away as his automail contracted around her collarbone.
Ed moaned her name, obviously misinterpreting her cries and gripped harder at her shoulder.
Winry cried as his fist closed against the bone and sharp burning pain shot across her torso. “ED STOP!”
Ed ceased his movements immediately, shock evident on his face. “Winry, what’s wrong?”
The pain blinded her and Winry closed her eyes tightly, forcing tears from them. With her right arm she beat against Ed’s automail, unable to articulate her intentions.
Ed stared at her in confusion before he realised the problem. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the damage he had done.
“Oh God, Winry.” He blinked rapidly as he slowly opened his fist.
Winry whimpered, tears running freely from her eyes.
“Winry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Ed tried to move away. His weight shifting on the bed caused Winry to call out in pain. “Winry, I’m sorry.” He bit his lip as tears of guilt stung his eyes.
“Ed? What’s happening?!”
Ed gasped as Pinako’s voice drifted through the open balcony doors. He looked around in desperation, unsure what to do.
“Edward!”
Ed climbed off the bed as gently as possible before grabbing his boxer shorts from where they lay on the floor. Quickly pulling them on, he ran onto the balcony.
Pinako and Al stood below, their faces confused and worried.
“Call a doctor!” Ed ordered of them, turning back to tend to Winry.
“What?! Why?” Pinako asked in confusion.
“Just do it!” Ed didn’t bother looking back.
He ran to Winry to find her still lying on the bed, her right arm cradling her injured shoulder. “Winry, the doctor’s coming.” Ed’s hand shook as he reached for her, never quite making the contact.
Winry whimpered, turning to look at him. “I need to put some clothes on.” Her voice was small.
“No, you’re fine. The doctor has seen it all before. You shouldn’t move.” Ed tried to reason with her.
“It’s not the doctor I’m worried about.” She blinked tears from her eyes.
“I’ll pull the sheet up on you, ok?” Ed swallowed past the lump in his throat. His own eyes burned with shame at seeing the pain he had caused.
“No.” Winry moaned. “Ed, Granny will kill us. Please.” She began to cry. “Please, just help me put my dressing gown on. I don’t want her to see me naked.”
Ed nodded, not trusting his voice. He ran to Winry’s wardrobe and threw it open. Grabbing a light blue, cotton dressing gown from where it hung on a hook he quickly made his way back to Winry.
“Here.” He held it out, standing above her, unsure how to proceed.
Winry tried to sit forward but gasped in pain before making much progress “Will you help me up?”
Ed nodded, dropping the dressing gown and sitting at the head of the bed. Gently he slipped his arm around her, wincing in tandem as she gasped in pain. Very slowly, he supported her as she moved into a sitting position. Once satisfied she was steady, he fetched the dressing gown. He helped her put it on, draping the left side over her injured shoulder before tying it at her waist.
He had just completed this when Pinako stormed into the room. Ed jumped back from Winry, his cheeks burning. Pinako surveyed the scene. Her eyes took in the dishevelled bed, Winry in nothing but her dressing gown and Ed in a similar state of undress, his hair unkempt.
Ed dropped his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact with the stern woman.
“Ed, I think you should wait outside.” Her voice was icy.
Ed did not spare a second. He darted from the room, slamming the door in his wake.
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Yes, a cliffhanger ending. What I had intended to be the first chapter of the fic is just far too. I originally planned on splitting it into two chapters but as I read over them I realised that the story flows better if it's cut into three chapters at this point Sorry! The next chapter will be posted early next week or over the weekend. It's being beta read at the moment.
As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so.
A Life Without Regret - Chapter 3
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Author: zuppi
Pairing: Ed/Winry
Rating: M/15
Spoilers: General manga spoilers. (nothing specific)
Thanks to please-knock for catching my typos!
Summary: It's almost become a vicious cycle... No matter what he does he can never make up for the past. But getting past the guilt can sometimes prove too hard and we find ourselves repeating mistakes over and over.
A Life Without Regret - Chapter 1
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters contained within this fanfiction. It is the property of Hiromu Arakawa, Square Enix Co., Ltd.'s and Monthly Shonen Gangan. I simply worship and adore... sometimes I write fic.
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Almost sick with nerves, Winry leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her eyes falling closed. She smiled sadly as he gasped, pulling back from her. She sat back, her eyes once again finding the hem of her skirt very interesting.
She heard the bed creak as Ed sat up straight. “Winry.” His voice was a little shaky and quiet. She rarely heard him address her like that.
Her eyes remained downcast. She refused to look at him, to acknowledge the rejection she knew would be evident in his eyes. Praying, she hoped he would just get up and leave, that he would pretend nothing had happened and that they could carry on as normal.
“Winry.” His voice was a little harsher, more pressing.
She bit her lip, closing her eyes. Why wouldn’t he just leave? Why couldn’t he be like he always was when it came to emotional matters and just ignore them completely? She gasped as his human fingers lightly brushed her thigh. It was barely a touch, in fact, had she not been so tense she would have missed it, but there was no denying Ed had actually reached out and touched her. He definitely wanted her attention.
Blinking back tears of embarrassment and frustration, she turned her eyes to him, looking up through the curtain of her fringe. Ed looked just as tense as she. His brow was furrowed and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He took a deep breath as she looked to him and his mouth opened and closed. She knew he wanted to say something but, as usual, could not articulate his thoughts. His amber eyes fell to her mouth before looking back to her eyes as he wrinkled his brow.
Winry almost laughed… He wanted to kiss her! She knew, she could tell. His eyes swept over her mouth and back to her eyes over and over. He was flustered and tense and waiting for her to make the first move.
Clenching her fists to stop them trembling, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his once more. This time Ed did not retreat. He inhaled deeply, moving forward almost imperceptibly. His index finger grazed her thigh and she moved her own hand forward to clutch at his fingers. She opened her mouth slightly and ran her tongue across Ed’s bottom lip. He sighed, leaning forward and opening his mouth. Winry’s free hand found its way to Ed’s cheek. She stroked his cheekbone and threaded her fingers in his hair. Her stomach jumped as Ed slipped his tongue into her mouth. He seemed nervous and unsure, his shyness causing Winry’s heart to race.
Without warning, Ed pulled back. He lowered his head and took deep, calming breaths. Winry remained transfixed, her forehead pressed against his and her hand on his cheek. Her voice cracked as she addressed him. “Ed?”
He looked up at her, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Winry sighed under his intense gaze. His pupils were dilated and his cheeks were stained pink. In all the years she had been harbouring feelings for the young alchemist she had never truly found him as attractive as now; sitting a hair’s breath from her, nervous and vulnerable, devoid of his usual cocky armour. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek and the fluttering of his heartbeat where her little finger rested above his jugular.
“Are you ok?” Winry whispered, not trusting her voice.
Ed shrugged, blushing further. “I’ve… I’ve never…” He looked down, worrying his lip.
Winry pressed her forehead against his, smiling. “Neither have I.”
Ed looked back to her, a crooked grin on his lips. It was a smile Winry hadn’t seen in years, not arrogant or cocky but amused and shy. With a sigh, Winry pressed her lips to his once more. Ed hesitated for a second before he began to kiss her back. This time he was more insistent, his flesh hand coming to rest on her waist. Trembling slightly, Winry wrapped her arms around Ed’s neck and began to pull him back onto the bed. She felt him tense against her for a second before relaxing against her.
Ed pulled back and looked down, his hair tickling her face. He bit his lip. “Eh… are you okay?” His voice was husky.
Winry nodded, running her fingers through his honey-blond hair. Hands moving to his muscular back, Winry pulled Ed against her. His lips found hers once more, while he slipped his human hand under her t-shirt. Winry gasped and arched against him as Ed stroked up and down her rib cage. She gripped at his shoulders, breathing in his scent as he kissed her deeply.
Winry inhaled sharply as Ed’s automail hand ghosted across her stomach. He immediately froze, pulling back from her.
Winry winced at her reaction. She clutched Ed’s shoulders, pulling him back as he tried to sit up. “Ed, don’t.”
He frowned, shaking his head and slipping from her grip. He sat up and swung his legs to the floor, his automail foot clunking on the wood.
“Ed.” Winry sat up next to him. She reached out for his human hand only to have him snatch it away. “Ed, please. I-”
“So much for seeing past the auto-mail.” He glared at his leg, clenching his human hand.
“I do, it’s just-”
Ed snorted and turned away from her.
“Ed!” She leaned forward and grabbed his automail hand savagely. Glaring at him, she shoved it against his own stomach. Ed gasped, instinctively pulling back as the metal grazed his abdomen. “See!” Winry pushed it against him again. “It’s freezing cold, okay?”
“Okay!” Ed twisted his hand from her grasp. He looked up at Winry as she began to giggle. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head and sighed, looking back at him. “I told you, I don’t care if you have automail or not.” She willed him to believe her, her eyes searching his.
Ed sighed and looked away. Winry’s heart raced. She could almost see Ed’s carefully constructed armour going back up… her opportunity passing her by. Decisively, she reached forward and took Ed’s automail hand in her own. He resisted her but Winry pulled harshly, succeeding in getting Ed’s attention.
He looked back at her, his expression annoyed and uncertain. Trembling, Winry guided Ed’s hand under her shirt, using her own fingers to ensure it cupped her breast.
She looked back to Ed. He was staring at her chest, transfixed. Winry grinned in response.
Ed jumped, retracting his hand and looking to her. His face was beetroot red. “Sorry.” He mumbled under his breath.
“It’s ok.” Winry’s voice was breathy.
Ed stared at her, smiling shyly. Biting his lip, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers. Winry inhaled deeply, leaning into him as she gripped at his arm. Ed made a small sound in the back of his throat as he scooted forward, slipping his automail arm around her waist in the process.
This time it was Ed who guided her back onto the bed. Winry sighed contentedly as his weight settled on top of her, bringing her arms to clutch at his naked back. Ed moaned low in his throat before pulling back to look down at her. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes dilated with lust.
“Are… are you sure?” His breathing was rapid and shallow.
Winry smiled shyly at him, brushing his hair back from his face. She nodded stiffly, not trusting her voice at that moment. With a grin, she leaned forward and captured his lips once more. Ed fell upon her, his left hand stroking her cheek while his automail hand snaked under her t-shirt.
With a great deal of fumbling they managed to wriggle out of their clothes. Ed blushed the entire time. He seemed to find great difficulty in looking at Winry, only flushing brighter and dropping his eyes whenever she caught him gazing at her.
It hurt more than Winry had expected. She winced, biting down on her lip. Ed paused as her fingers clutched involuntarily at his shoulders. “Are you ok?”
She looked up at him, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.” She swallowed, breathing deeply and willing herself to relax. The pain began to ease and she smiled up at Edward. His arms were trembling with the effort of remaining still and his face was a mask of concentration. Winry leaned forward, kissing him while she eased her grip on his shoulders, moving her hands to his hips as a sign of her readiness.
Ed moaned loudly as he began to move against her, kissing her back only for a second before he began to pant against her neck.
It was nothing like Winry was expecting. The other girls had whispered and giggled about their experimentation but they hadn’t mentioned it being like this. It still hurt a little and she felt somewhat self-conscious being naked with Ed. It was stranger for her to see him like this; laying himself bare before her. Even during his lucid moments of automail surgery he had done everything in his power to control his emotions. Seeing him like this almost felt like she was trespassing on something intensely private where she had no place.
Suddenly, Ed’s movements became more erratic. He gasped against her before supporting himself on his left hand. Clumsily he kissed Winry, wrapping his automail hand across her shoulder as he pulled her against him.
Winry winced as his grip increased. She could see the tension in Ed’s shoulders, his brow furrowed and jaw clenched. He gasped once more, gripping her more tightly.
“Ed!” Winry squeaked in pain, trying to squirm away as his automail contracted around her collarbone.
Ed moaned her name, obviously misinterpreting her cries and gripped harder at her shoulder.
Winry cried as his fist closed against the bone and sharp burning pain shot across her torso. “ED STOP!”
Ed ceased his movements immediately, shock evident on his face. “Winry, what’s wrong?”
The pain blinded her and Winry closed her eyes tightly, forcing tears from them. With her right arm she beat against Ed’s automail, unable to articulate her intentions.
Ed stared at her in confusion before he realised the problem. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the damage he had done.
“Oh God, Winry.” He blinked rapidly as he slowly opened his fist.
Winry whimpered, tears running freely from her eyes.
“Winry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Ed tried to move away. His weight shifting on the bed caused Winry to call out in pain. “Winry, I’m sorry.” He bit his lip as tears of guilt stung his eyes.
“Ed? What’s happening?!”
Ed gasped as Pinako’s voice drifted through the open balcony doors. He looked around in desperation, unsure what to do.
“Edward!”
Ed climbed off the bed as gently as possible before grabbing his boxer shorts from where they lay on the floor. Quickly pulling them on, he ran onto the balcony.
Pinako and Al stood below, their faces confused and worried.
“Call a doctor!” Ed ordered of them, turning back to tend to Winry.
“What?! Why?” Pinako asked in confusion.
“Just do it!” Ed didn’t bother looking back.
He ran to Winry to find her still lying on the bed, her right arm cradling her injured shoulder. “Winry, the doctor’s coming.” Ed’s hand shook as he reached for her, never quite making the contact.
Winry whimpered, turning to look at him. “I need to put some clothes on.” Her voice was small.
“No, you’re fine. The doctor has seen it all before. You shouldn’t move.” Ed tried to reason with her.
“It’s not the doctor I’m worried about.” She blinked tears from her eyes.
“I’ll pull the sheet up on you, ok?” Ed swallowed past the lump in his throat. His own eyes burned with shame at seeing the pain he had caused.
“No.” Winry moaned. “Ed, Granny will kill us. Please.” She began to cry. “Please, just help me put my dressing gown on. I don’t want her to see me naked.”
Ed nodded, not trusting his voice. He ran to Winry’s wardrobe and threw it open. Grabbing a light blue, cotton dressing gown from where it hung on a hook he quickly made his way back to Winry.
“Here.” He held it out, standing above her, unsure how to proceed.
Winry tried to sit forward but gasped in pain before making much progress “Will you help me up?”
Ed nodded, dropping the dressing gown and sitting at the head of the bed. Gently he slipped his arm around her, wincing in tandem as she gasped in pain. Very slowly, he supported her as she moved into a sitting position. Once satisfied she was steady, he fetched the dressing gown. He helped her put it on, draping the left side over her injured shoulder before tying it at her waist.
He had just completed this when Pinako stormed into the room. Ed jumped back from Winry, his cheeks burning. Pinako surveyed the scene. Her eyes took in the dishevelled bed, Winry in nothing but her dressing gown and Ed in a similar state of undress, his hair unkempt.
Ed dropped his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact with the stern woman.
“Ed, I think you should wait outside.” Her voice was icy.
Ed did not spare a second. He darted from the room, slamming the door in his wake.
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Yes, a cliffhanger ending. What I had intended to be the first chapter of the fic is just far too. I originally planned on splitting it into two chapters but as I read over them I realised that the story flows better if it's cut into three chapters at this point Sorry! The next chapter will be posted early next week or over the weekend. It's being beta read at the moment.
As always reviews are adored! Constructive criticism especially so.
A Life Without Regret - Chapter 3
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