I need a new job.
Me: Hello, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I'm looking for a wetsuit.
Me: Great, our wetsuits are here. Are you looking for a suit to wear now?
Customer: o_0
Me: As in, now... In Ireland?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok, so you want a winter suit?
Customer: When would I wear that then?
Me: In Ireland? You'd wear it in the winter in Ireland. From about October to March/April. The water temperature gets quite low here... bla... 5/3 neoprene... bla bla bla... sealed seams... bla bla bla... hypothermia.
Customer: Ok, so I don't ever need a summer suit then?
Me: Eh... well, not in the winter, no. But the water temperature begins to heat up around March/April so-
Customer: So I don't need a suit at all then?
Me: Well, it's still pretty cold if you're going to be surfing for a few hours. You'd probably need a 2/3 or a 3/4 summer suit. Bla bla bla... summer suit explanation.
Customer: So right now, in the winter, I need a summer suit?
Me: (is this guy fucking with me?) No, it's the winter now, so you need a winter suit to be comfortable.
Customer: So when the hell do I wear a SUMMER SUIT?!?!!
Me: In the summer, sir.
Customer: So you're telling me, I have to have TWO wetsuits?
Me: Well, if you want to be comfortable year round, yes.
Customer: My friend in the Majorca only needs one suit. How does that make sense?
Me: Well, the temperature in the Med doesn't change much from one season to the next. It's almost a lake and it's quite shallow. When I was surfing there I didn't even wear a wetsuit because the temperature was so high compared to what I'm used to in Ireland.
Customer: So you're telling me that the temperature FOR THE ENTIRE ATLANTIC changes from winter to summer.
Me: o_0 Well, yes... the ambient air temperature changes dramatically too... wind chill factors when-
Customer: That's fucking stupid, it seems more like something you need to sell wetsuits year round.
Me: o_0 Eh... it's not though.
Customer: Yeah, we'll see. (storms off)
I can only assume he stormed off to create a weather machine, with the sole intention of putting us out of business. Just you guys see, it's not global warming... it's angry wetsuit man!!!!
Strange man: (wanders around looking like he's been transported to the magical land of Narnia... and is not happy about it. Imaging Eustance in the beginnging of The Voyage of the Dawn Threader... got it? Good.)
Me: Can I help you with anything?
Strange man: I'm looking for a hat.
Me: Our hats are over here. (Proceeds to the hat stand. Gestures at the hats.)
Stranger man: No I'm looking for a hat with a hingu.
Me: (sporting a bewildered look) Sorry?(awkward pause) Are you looking for a peaked hat? A baseball hat?
Strange man: No a hat with a hingu.
Me: (brain melts out ears)
Strange man: You don't know what I'm talking about?! A hat with a hingu. (Makes a gesture as if referring to a peaked hat)
LMe: (fed up, pretty sure he's looking for hat with a peak but doesn't want to point out he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic) No, I'm sorry.
Strange man: Well, I don't know what it's called actually, but I call it a hingu. (walks off looking very put out)
Me: (falls over)
Customer: Yes, I'm looking for a wetsuit.
Me: Great, our wetsuits are here. Are you looking for a suit to wear now?
Customer: o_0
Me: As in, now... In Ireland?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok, so you want a winter suit?
Customer: When would I wear that then?
Me: In Ireland? You'd wear it in the winter in Ireland. From about October to March/April. The water temperature gets quite low here... bla... 5/3 neoprene... bla bla bla... sealed seams... bla bla bla... hypothermia.
Customer: Ok, so I don't ever need a summer suit then?
Me: Eh... well, not in the winter, no. But the water temperature begins to heat up around March/April so-
Customer: So I don't need a suit at all then?
Me: Well, it's still pretty cold if you're going to be surfing for a few hours. You'd probably need a 2/3 or a 3/4 summer suit. Bla bla bla... summer suit explanation.
Customer: So right now, in the winter, I need a summer suit?
Me: (is this guy fucking with me?) No, it's the winter now, so you need a winter suit to be comfortable.
Customer: So when the hell do I wear a SUMMER SUIT?!?!!
Me: In the summer, sir.
Customer: So you're telling me, I have to have TWO wetsuits?
Me: Well, if you want to be comfortable year round, yes.
Customer: My friend in the Majorca only needs one suit. How does that make sense?
Me: Well, the temperature in the Med doesn't change much from one season to the next. It's almost a lake and it's quite shallow. When I was surfing there I didn't even wear a wetsuit because the temperature was so high compared to what I'm used to in Ireland.
Customer: So you're telling me that the temperature FOR THE ENTIRE ATLANTIC changes from winter to summer.
Me: o_0 Well, yes... the ambient air temperature changes dramatically too... wind chill factors when-
Customer: That's fucking stupid, it seems more like something you need to sell wetsuits year round.
Me: o_0 Eh... it's not though.
Customer: Yeah, we'll see. (storms off)
I can only assume he stormed off to create a weather machine, with the sole intention of putting us out of business. Just you guys see, it's not global warming... it's angry wetsuit man!!!!
Strange man: (wanders around looking like he's been transported to the magical land of Narnia... and is not happy about it. Imaging Eustance in the beginnging of The Voyage of the Dawn Threader... got it? Good.)
Me: Can I help you with anything?
Strange man: I'm looking for a hat.
Me: Our hats are over here. (Proceeds to the hat stand. Gestures at the hats.)
Stranger man: No I'm looking for a hat with a hingu.
Me: (sporting a bewildered look) Sorry?(awkward pause) Are you looking for a peaked hat? A baseball hat?
Strange man: No a hat with a hingu.
Me: (brain melts out ears)
Strange man: You don't know what I'm talking about?! A hat with a hingu. (Makes a gesture as if referring to a peaked hat)
LMe: (fed up, pretty sure he's looking for hat with a peak but doesn't want to point out he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic) No, I'm sorry.
Strange man: Well, I don't know what it's called actually, but I call it a hingu. (walks off looking very put out)
Me: (falls over)