So.. fuck all

[zupheal]

So tonight.. i go out to drink have fun... go to a friends b-day party have fun even tho i dont do drugs and thats what the party was about... go get coffe have fun recalling the nite... BOOM fun stops... one of my friends who means more to me that liek 75% of the world stops and asks... "There is a cop in here. you are talking about shit that doesn't need to be said outloud... you have named everyon eat the party and you are clean... are you working for the police." i laugh she goes... Seriously, no offense... BOOM fun is over... i go What the fuck... NO... you were with me when i STOPPED doing drugs... you were there for my LAST nite... What the fuck... she goes you've just been acting funny lately... i say... I have been acting funny because two of my favorite people in the world keep bringing me to a drug den every nite to fucking chill... i love you guys BUT i hate that shit and am trying to stay the fuck away... she goes well thats on you... i go ya but if i stop coming i'll prolly never see you guys... THEN she gets mad cuz i said that i was gonna stop hanging out with her... shes like we go do things other than that... and lists them.. i go okay maybe your right she goes... "i said no offense..." like THAT was supposed to make it NOT piss me off... so ME the guy who rarely gets pissed in reality... am VERY pissed... if she were a man i would have beat the fuck out of her for saying some shit liek that... BUT she is not so all i can do is be pissy and try and exercise my rage another way... GODDAMN IT... why can i not just be fucking sober... and be having fun with my friends... why do i have to be a "spy" to be fucking sober...

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me
Waiting like a stalking butler
Who upon the finger rests
Murder now, the path that must be
Just because the son has come

Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over
And why can't we drink forever?
I just want to start this over

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down

Mother Mary, won't you whisper?
Something bout what's past and done
Mother Mary, won't you whisper?
Something bout what's past and done

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over
And why can't we sleep forever?
I just want to start this over
why?

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave

Trust me
Trust me
Trust me
Trust me
Trust me

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start things over
And why can't we sleep forever?
I just want to start this over
why?
I want it, what I want it
I want it, what I want it
I want it, what I want it
I want it, what I want it

So much for all that support shit... now its turned to suspicion.. fairly quickly as well...