I love you okay? So [BE MINE]... || Chapter ELEVEN
Title: I love you okay? So be mine...
Pairing: Woogyu
Genre: Romance, drama, angst
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Yaoi, smut, etc
The flames crept higher and higher with each passing second, hotter and more terrible than the flames of hell, as distorted figures danced around in his field of vision.
He could hear screaming; screams so terrible and agonizing he felt like his heart was being ripped out and torn into a thousand bloody pieces. The horrifying cries of pain were drilling into his head and he couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t block them out. He couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t stop them. He could only listen as he watched helplessly.
No. No. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me. Please. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t leave me.
A broken sob erupted from his chest. Silent tears fell from his sorrowful eyes.
Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
The smell of burning flesh surrounded him as it hung around, foreshadowing the arrival of Death. And before too soon, spreading its stained, dirty, great black wings before his very eyes, was the Angel of Death itself, terrifying and shockingly all too real. He sobbed again, frozen tears running down his cold cheeks. He reached out a pale hand, trying to hang on to them, trying to pull them back with him.
Don’t go. Please. Don’t go. Don’t take them. Not them. Don’t take them. Don’t leave me. I beg you. Please don’t take them.
The skeletal hand reached out from within the shrouds of shadow, capturing its victims, pulling them back. He cried out, again and again, begging, pleading, screaming at the Angel not to take them. But his voice fell on deaf ears. No sound came out. No voice to plead. No voice to beg. The suffocating silence only, screams piercing the air, surrounding him,stabbing him, strangling him with their agonizing pain.
No! No! No!
He wanted to scream, but no sound came out. No sound came out.
Don’t do it! Please! I’m begging you, don’t take them away from me. Don’t leave me. Stop! Stop! I don’t want to see! Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. STOP IT!
But it was too late. He saw. He saw the broken and lifeless corpses hanging from the bleached white bones. So pale and motionless. And the blood. So much blood. Crimson red and dripping in rivulets everywhere. He shuddered and looked down at his hands. Blood. They were covered in blood. Covered in their blood. Staining his hands, creating irremovable scars. He sobbed, again and again, tears staining his cold cheeks, as he tried to pull his hands away, frightened by what he saw.
Please.
He begged one more time.
Don’t take them away.
But deep down he already knew it was hopeless.
Don’t leave me.
They were disappearing from his memories already…
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me….
…Dad…
…Hyung….
DON’T LEAVE ME!
And that was when he realised. The terrible screams surrounding him, the screams that pierced his heart with so much sorrow, those painful agonizing screams. They were his screams. His and his only. And in the cruel flames that flickered; dancing and reflecting off his broken eyes, his heart shattered into a million irreparable pieces.
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
***************************************************************************
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Sunggyu woke up with a scream, the full and terrible horrors of his nightmares reflected in his sad dark eyes. He sobbed as cold icy tears ran down his pale cheeks, sweat soaking his shirt as his breath came in short terrified gasps. His breath hitched and choked as he curled himself up into a ball, as if to protect himself from the terrors of the night.
Sunggyu cried until he couldn’t cry anymore, until no more frosty tears could be shed. He had not had that nightmare in a long time. In fact, he thought they had stopped happening and had finally disappeared altogether.
But when they did come back to haunt him, it just hurt that much more, the images every bit as real as they had been on the day.
It was raining outside, drenching everything in icy water. No wonder that nightmare had come back to haunt him. Because it had also been raining back then. It had been raining just like this.
A heavy sheet of rain, hammering away at the earth, the kind of rain that left you isolated in you own miserable and terrifying fears.
When his breathing had calmed down, Sunggyu untangled himself from the twisted sheets, where he had been tossing and turning. He padded silently across the room to where his guitar lay and picked it up, carrying it onto the balcony outside where the cool night air ruffled through his messy hair and the shadows danced around in the pale moonlit sky.
And Sunggyu sang. He started singing, pouring all his raw emotions, his fears, his sorrow and his guilt into his voice as he sang as passionately as he could, the sadness and the torment layered one upon another as he sang, formulating the melody as he went along, unable to express his intense emotions in any other way. He sang until he couldn’t anymore, until he couldn’t think about anything anymore, until his heart stopped aching, until his pain dissolved into a dull throbbing. And that was when morning broke over the horizon, its pale light washing over Sunggyu’s exhausted face and the last traces of rain, taunting him, tormenting him with what could have been and what will never be.
Hyung…
***************************************************************************
Woohyun growled as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. The bruises had faded, but his face still felt stiff. He gingerly poked his cheeks, making a face as a dull throbbing spread out and around. He frowned again as he gave his reflection once last look before shrugging and walking out of the bathroom into the loud hallway.
Might as well stop by the music room later. Freaking Myungsoo. He’s so busy being stalked by that giant, he didn’t even bother checking over the new music sheets. Arghh, now I gotta do it. Man, I can’t be bothered.
Maybe Sunggyu will be ther- WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING!? I said I wouldn’t think about him. Don’t think. Don’t think.
That guy socked me in the face last time I saw him. Better leave him alone for now. Didn’t know he was so strong. Woohyun shuddered silently. Scary,he might punch me agai- DON’T THINK ABOUT HIM!
***************************************************************************
“Yah, Hoya”
“What? Why are we whispering like this? We look so suspicious…”
“Dude, we ALWAYS look suspicious.”
“Yah! Whatever. What d’you want?”
“Have you been watching Sunggyu today?”
“Sunggyu? Not really, no. I was too busy being told off by the teacher this morning and I didn-”
“Look at him now!”
Hoya and Dongwoo turned around furtively to sneak a glance at Sunggyu who was sitting two rows behind them.
Sunggyu was staring out the window, his eyes fixed on something outside. Usually his expression was bored or absentminded when he was daydreaming, but today…today was different.
His expression was cold and distant, and his face was tired with shadows under his eyes, like he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. His hair was ruffled and even messier than usual and he looked like he hadn’t bothered looking at his clothes before pulling them on.
But what had changed the most was the look in his eyes.
They looked dark and haunted, plagued with icy memories of a black stormy night filled with cold rain and tears.
Looking into them was like staring into a vacuum; the distant stare of his sucked you in as you froze to the spot.
Sunggyu who was usually so warm and friendly, had become remote and emotionless, exuding an air that warned people to stay away from him.
Hoya and Dongwoo slowly turned back around.
“…”
“I totally get what you mean now.”
“He’s been like this all day? I tried talking to him but all I got was one word answers. I dunno, I think he’s upset about something.”
“Yeah, I reckon he is. That’s how he acts when he sad about something. I wonder what’s up with him?”
“Y’know what this reminds me of? That time a few years ago. After the accident.”
“Y-you don’t think…?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m thinking. And that’s why I’m worried.”
“Jesus, Dongwoo. What do we do? We can’t just pull a joke on him like we usually do, he’ll probably just get pissed at us.”
“Yeah, but who knows what’ll happen if we don’t? He’ll just get more and more depressed.”
“What did we do last time he was like this? I can’t remember…”
“I don’t think we did anything. He was like this for a few days, and then POOF. He was back to normal. Maybe it’ll happen this time as well…?”
“I hope so. I dunno what to say to him, and I’m kinda worried now…”
“Yeah same here.”
Hoya and Dongwoo exchanged glances with each other and sighed simultaneously. Hopefully, Sunggyu wouldn’t stay dejected for too long. Otherwise, they would have to start thinking of ways to cheer him up. An unhappy Sunggyu was too strange and it didn’t feel right. The days were better when Sunggyu was warm and cheerful.
***************************************************************************
Sunggyu stared out the window, his mind occupied by other thoughts.
Those thoughts. The bad ones. The frightening ones.
No, don’t think about it.
He stared out the window even harder, concentrating on the falling leaves fluttering outside.
Flashing flames and terrifying screams.
Don’t think about it. Don’t do it.
He struggled to breath. More and more, it felt like he was suffocating, drowning under those heavy dreams and reoccurring images.
Over and over again. The same voices echoing through his head. Screaming his name. The same person lying in front of him, cold and lifeless.
Don’t do it. You can’t lose control here.
He gripped the edge of his desk, knuckles turning white, as he tried to steady himself from the torrent of images, the same images he tried to lock away and forget about, just as he tried to forget about that person.
But they wouldn’t leave. They wouldn’t disappear. He was slowly and agonizingly drowning under them and nobody noticed. Nobody knew. Nobody saw.
Don’t think about it. Hold it in. Keep it together.
Yes, it was like drowning. Drowning with nothing to hold onto, no one to scream to and nobody to grab onto.
Sunggyu felt like screaming as the air around his head got tighter and tighter, constricting his heart, crushing it until he could no longer discern between reality and imagination.
Time passed slowly as if each minute had become one hour.
*Tic* *Tock* *Tic* *Tock* *Tic* *Tock*
Sunggyu focused on the incessant ticking of the clock, blocking out any other noises, focusing on the ticking so intently, he could feel the dull sound boring into his head.
Good. That was the way he wanted it to be. It could distract him. It could keep him sane until he could escape, until he could run away and let everything spill out.
*BRINGGGGGGG**
As soon as the bell rang; its familiar shrill tone echoing through the classroom, Sunggyu bolted out.
He had to let it out. All these feelings and raw emotions building up in his chest, until they had reached a screaming and clashing crescendo, no longer able to be held back. He had to express them the only way he knew how to, before they drove him insane.
He grabbed his bags and books and ran blindly towards a familiar direction. Towards that place before he lost control of his wild and conflicting emotions. Towards the music room.
***************************************************************************
Woohyun shuffled towards the music room, taking his time as he wandered around the corridors. He was in no hurry to start doing work and he was half tempted to just skip it and let Myungsoo or Sungjong check the music sheets.
He thought about it and the shook his head. Better not, he thought, because Myungsoo would just chuck them out thinking they were scrap pieces of paper and Sungjong would turn them into paper airplanes.
He was about to step through the door, when he heard someone singing inside. Not wanting to disturb them, he turned around and was about to walk back the way he came, when he stopped.
That voice. It sounded familiar. He knew that voice. There was no way he’d be forgetting that voice and it’s owner in a hurry. And against his will and his own raging thoughts, Woohyun’s feet slowly turned around and pulled him slowly back towards that familiar voice.
“Kim Sunggyu, what are you doing to me?” he breathed.
Pairing: Woogyu
Genre: Romance, drama, angst
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Yaoi, smut, etc
The flames crept higher and higher with each passing second, hotter and more terrible than the flames of hell, as distorted figures danced around in his field of vision.
He could hear screaming; screams so terrible and agonizing he felt like his heart was being ripped out and torn into a thousand bloody pieces. The horrifying cries of pain were drilling into his head and he couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t block them out. He couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t stop them. He could only listen as he watched helplessly.
No. No. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me. Please. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t leave me.
A broken sob erupted from his chest. Silent tears fell from his sorrowful eyes.
Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
The smell of burning flesh surrounded him as it hung around, foreshadowing the arrival of Death. And before too soon, spreading its stained, dirty, great black wings before his very eyes, was the Angel of Death itself, terrifying and shockingly all too real. He sobbed again, frozen tears running down his cold cheeks. He reached out a pale hand, trying to hang on to them, trying to pull them back with him.
Don’t go. Please. Don’t go. Don’t take them. Not them. Don’t take them. Don’t leave me. I beg you. Please don’t take them.
The skeletal hand reached out from within the shrouds of shadow, capturing its victims, pulling them back. He cried out, again and again, begging, pleading, screaming at the Angel not to take them. But his voice fell on deaf ears. No sound came out. No voice to plead. No voice to beg. The suffocating silence only, screams piercing the air, surrounding him,stabbing him, strangling him with their agonizing pain.
No! No! No!
He wanted to scream, but no sound came out. No sound came out.
Don’t do it! Please! I’m begging you, don’t take them away from me. Don’t leave me. Stop! Stop! I don’t want to see! Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. STOP IT!
But it was too late. He saw. He saw the broken and lifeless corpses hanging from the bleached white bones. So pale and motionless. And the blood. So much blood. Crimson red and dripping in rivulets everywhere. He shuddered and looked down at his hands. Blood. They were covered in blood. Covered in their blood. Staining his hands, creating irremovable scars. He sobbed, again and again, tears staining his cold cheeks, as he tried to pull his hands away, frightened by what he saw.
Please.
He begged one more time.
Don’t take them away.
But deep down he already knew it was hopeless.
Don’t leave me.
They were disappearing from his memories already…
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me….
…Dad…
…Hyung….
DON’T LEAVE ME!
And that was when he realised. The terrible screams surrounding him, the screams that pierced his heart with so much sorrow, those painful agonizing screams. They were his screams. His and his only. And in the cruel flames that flickered; dancing and reflecting off his broken eyes, his heart shattered into a million irreparable pieces.
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
***************************************************************************
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Sunggyu woke up with a scream, the full and terrible horrors of his nightmares reflected in his sad dark eyes. He sobbed as cold icy tears ran down his pale cheeks, sweat soaking his shirt as his breath came in short terrified gasps. His breath hitched and choked as he curled himself up into a ball, as if to protect himself from the terrors of the night.
Sunggyu cried until he couldn’t cry anymore, until no more frosty tears could be shed. He had not had that nightmare in a long time. In fact, he thought they had stopped happening and had finally disappeared altogether.
But when they did come back to haunt him, it just hurt that much more, the images every bit as real as they had been on the day.
It was raining outside, drenching everything in icy water. No wonder that nightmare had come back to haunt him. Because it had also been raining back then. It had been raining just like this.
A heavy sheet of rain, hammering away at the earth, the kind of rain that left you isolated in you own miserable and terrifying fears.
When his breathing had calmed down, Sunggyu untangled himself from the twisted sheets, where he had been tossing and turning. He padded silently across the room to where his guitar lay and picked it up, carrying it onto the balcony outside where the cool night air ruffled through his messy hair and the shadows danced around in the pale moonlit sky.
And Sunggyu sang. He started singing, pouring all his raw emotions, his fears, his sorrow and his guilt into his voice as he sang as passionately as he could, the sadness and the torment layered one upon another as he sang, formulating the melody as he went along, unable to express his intense emotions in any other way. He sang until he couldn’t anymore, until he couldn’t think about anything anymore, until his heart stopped aching, until his pain dissolved into a dull throbbing. And that was when morning broke over the horizon, its pale light washing over Sunggyu’s exhausted face and the last traces of rain, taunting him, tormenting him with what could have been and what will never be.
Hyung…
***************************************************************************
Woohyun growled as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. The bruises had faded, but his face still felt stiff. He gingerly poked his cheeks, making a face as a dull throbbing spread out and around. He frowned again as he gave his reflection once last look before shrugging and walking out of the bathroom into the loud hallway.
Might as well stop by the music room later. Freaking Myungsoo. He’s so busy being stalked by that giant, he didn’t even bother checking over the new music sheets. Arghh, now I gotta do it. Man, I can’t be bothered.
Maybe Sunggyu will be ther- WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING!? I said I wouldn’t think about him. Don’t think. Don’t think.
That guy socked me in the face last time I saw him. Better leave him alone for now. Didn’t know he was so strong. Woohyun shuddered silently. Scary,he might punch me agai- DON’T THINK ABOUT HIM!
***************************************************************************
“Yah, Hoya”
“What? Why are we whispering like this? We look so suspicious…”
“Dude, we ALWAYS look suspicious.”
“Yah! Whatever. What d’you want?”
“Have you been watching Sunggyu today?”
“Sunggyu? Not really, no. I was too busy being told off by the teacher this morning and I didn-”
“Look at him now!”
Hoya and Dongwoo turned around furtively to sneak a glance at Sunggyu who was sitting two rows behind them.
Sunggyu was staring out the window, his eyes fixed on something outside. Usually his expression was bored or absentminded when he was daydreaming, but today…today was different.
His expression was cold and distant, and his face was tired with shadows under his eyes, like he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. His hair was ruffled and even messier than usual and he looked like he hadn’t bothered looking at his clothes before pulling them on.
But what had changed the most was the look in his eyes.
They looked dark and haunted, plagued with icy memories of a black stormy night filled with cold rain and tears.
Looking into them was like staring into a vacuum; the distant stare of his sucked you in as you froze to the spot.
Sunggyu who was usually so warm and friendly, had become remote and emotionless, exuding an air that warned people to stay away from him.
Hoya and Dongwoo slowly turned back around.
“…”
“I totally get what you mean now.”
“He’s been like this all day? I tried talking to him but all I got was one word answers. I dunno, I think he’s upset about something.”
“Yeah, I reckon he is. That’s how he acts when he sad about something. I wonder what’s up with him?”
“Y’know what this reminds me of? That time a few years ago. After the accident.”
“Y-you don’t think…?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m thinking. And that’s why I’m worried.”
“Jesus, Dongwoo. What do we do? We can’t just pull a joke on him like we usually do, he’ll probably just get pissed at us.”
“Yeah, but who knows what’ll happen if we don’t? He’ll just get more and more depressed.”
“What did we do last time he was like this? I can’t remember…”
“I don’t think we did anything. He was like this for a few days, and then POOF. He was back to normal. Maybe it’ll happen this time as well…?”
“I hope so. I dunno what to say to him, and I’m kinda worried now…”
“Yeah same here.”
Hoya and Dongwoo exchanged glances with each other and sighed simultaneously. Hopefully, Sunggyu wouldn’t stay dejected for too long. Otherwise, they would have to start thinking of ways to cheer him up. An unhappy Sunggyu was too strange and it didn’t feel right. The days were better when Sunggyu was warm and cheerful.
***************************************************************************
Sunggyu stared out the window, his mind occupied by other thoughts.
Those thoughts. The bad ones. The frightening ones.
No, don’t think about it.
He stared out the window even harder, concentrating on the falling leaves fluttering outside.
Flashing flames and terrifying screams.
Don’t think about it. Don’t do it.
He struggled to breath. More and more, it felt like he was suffocating, drowning under those heavy dreams and reoccurring images.
Over and over again. The same voices echoing through his head. Screaming his name. The same person lying in front of him, cold and lifeless.
Don’t do it. You can’t lose control here.
He gripped the edge of his desk, knuckles turning white, as he tried to steady himself from the torrent of images, the same images he tried to lock away and forget about, just as he tried to forget about that person.
But they wouldn’t leave. They wouldn’t disappear. He was slowly and agonizingly drowning under them and nobody noticed. Nobody knew. Nobody saw.
Don’t think about it. Hold it in. Keep it together.
Yes, it was like drowning. Drowning with nothing to hold onto, no one to scream to and nobody to grab onto.
Sunggyu felt like screaming as the air around his head got tighter and tighter, constricting his heart, crushing it until he could no longer discern between reality and imagination.
Time passed slowly as if each minute had become one hour.
*Tic* *Tock* *Tic* *Tock* *Tic* *Tock*
Sunggyu focused on the incessant ticking of the clock, blocking out any other noises, focusing on the ticking so intently, he could feel the dull sound boring into his head.
Good. That was the way he wanted it to be. It could distract him. It could keep him sane until he could escape, until he could run away and let everything spill out.
*BRINGGGGGGG**
As soon as the bell rang; its familiar shrill tone echoing through the classroom, Sunggyu bolted out.
He had to let it out. All these feelings and raw emotions building up in his chest, until they had reached a screaming and clashing crescendo, no longer able to be held back. He had to express them the only way he knew how to, before they drove him insane.
He grabbed his bags and books and ran blindly towards a familiar direction. Towards that place before he lost control of his wild and conflicting emotions. Towards the music room.
***************************************************************************
Woohyun shuffled towards the music room, taking his time as he wandered around the corridors. He was in no hurry to start doing work and he was half tempted to just skip it and let Myungsoo or Sungjong check the music sheets.
He thought about it and the shook his head. Better not, he thought, because Myungsoo would just chuck them out thinking they were scrap pieces of paper and Sungjong would turn them into paper airplanes.
He was about to step through the door, when he heard someone singing inside. Not wanting to disturb them, he turned around and was about to walk back the way he came, when he stopped.
That voice. It sounded familiar. He knew that voice. There was no way he’d be forgetting that voice and it’s owner in a hurry. And against his will and his own raging thoughts, Woohyun’s feet slowly turned around and pulled him slowly back towards that familiar voice.
“Kim Sunggyu, what are you doing to me?” he breathed.