A Time Limited Life || Chapter FOURTEEN
Title: A Time Limited Life
Pairing: Woogyu
Genre: Angst, drama
Rating: PG -13
Warning: Yaoi, heavy angst
1 and a half months later - 29th September 2011
Woohyun and Sunggyu reconcile when Sunggyu is so weak that he can barely keep his eyes open and he’s frequently finding it hard to breathe. They reconcile a little too late, and a little too sadly, even if it’s for a short amount of time.
Woohyun visits Sunggyu in hospital everyday. They all do. Myungsoo, Sungyeol, Hoya, Dongwoo and Sungjong - they all visit Sunggyu as often as they can. Maybe it is an unspoken rule, or an inevitable knowledge that prompts them to do so. Or maybe it is because they know that regret is a heavy burden. Either way, they visit Sunggyu, knowing full well that Death has already laid its claim to their precious friend.
Woohyun visits Sunggyu. Sunggyu ignores him and Woohyun can’t help but wonder why, why it is that Sunggyu always turns his face away from him everytime he sits down in the plastic white chair provided. He tries talking to him, but it always ends in an awkward silence as Sunggyu stares aimlessly out the window at the sunlit scenery outside, as if the world were mocking him. Woohyun can only watch as Sunggyu gets paler and weaker by the day, until he’s struggling to breathe at times and coughing up blood at every strenuous movement he makes. Everytime Woohyun walks down the sickly white corridor that smells of death and too much disinfectant, he slows down his steps, until he’s barely moving at all, because he’s afraid of what he’ll see when he reaches Room 706. He’s afraid of what the future holds and the potential it brings.
Sungjong drops by Sunggyu’s room one day, with a bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers in one hand and Sunggyu’s familiar ratty diary. It’s still the one that Woohyun gave him. He still uses it and writes in it (but Sunggyu would never let Woohyun know that). Sunggyu takes one look at the sunflowers and gestures for Sungjong to drop them in a vase placed next to the windowsill, and complements Sungjong on his choice. The sunflowers are very bright (dull) and it’s making him feel more optimism (heartbreak) about his future (none at all).
Sungjong smiles sweetly and asks how Sunggyu feels. He apologises because the other couldn’t make it. Hoya and Dongwoo are busy teaching dance classes, Myungsoo and Sungyeol are overloaded with customers at their café and Woohyun is attending a meeting with a producer about writing the backing track for some famous band or other. Life goes on even if one person is dying. Sunggyu assures Sungjong that he’s fine (he’s not) and that he’s slowly recovering (he had an attack just yesterday - one that left him choking up bright red splatters of blood) and that he wants to get out of the hospital as soon as possible (impossible).
Sungjong doesn’t believe him but he pretends to, if only for his hyung’s sake, and if only to hide the tears that are threatening to spill from his eyes.
Sunggyu glances curiously at the younger’s unusually moist eyes and decides not to comment, and instead makes some remark about the weather. But weather can only sustain a conversation for so long, and soon silence is hanging around the room, awkward and heavy. It’s throught this silence that Sungjong asks.
“Why do you do it, hyung?”
Sunggyu pretends that he doesn’t know what Sungjong’s talking about and gives him a very unconvincing questioning look. Of course Sungjong doesn’t buy it, and the younger continues to elaborate as he pursed his lips in confusion.
“…Why do you ignore Woohyun, hyung?”
Sunggyu sighs. The younger obviously wasn’t going to let this rest until he had an answer, and Sunggyu wasn’t exactly in a position to run away from the maknae (hooked up to at least three strange machines and an intravenous drip a with bunch of needles in him - not exactly useful when it came to running away), so he averts his eyes and speaks to the ceiling as if it’s the most fascinating piece of art he’s ever come across (it probably is).
“I. I don’t know, Jongie. It’s just, I don’t really want to face him, not like this.”
“Like what?”
Sunggyu spares a glance at the blond haired boy and turns back to the ceiling, choosing his words carefully,
“I feel like if I let him back into my life, I’m being incredibly selfish. It’s like I’m asking for too much from him. Honestly, I think it would be better if he just went back to avoiding me and forget I ever existed.”
“B-But why?” Sungjong chokes out as his hyung’s heartbreakingly honest answer. Sunggyu gives him a smile - sweet and all sadness, and replies,
“You know why Sungjong. Don’t pretend you don’t.”
Sungjong falls silent, and Sunggyu can hear sniffles coming from the younger boy, before the sound of a chair scraping back is heard followed by a flurry of footsteps. Sunggyu finally tears his eyes away from the unbelievably interesting ceiling and gazes sadly after Sungjong, and almost unconciously reaches out as if he wanted to run after the younger boy when he feels something inside him snap.
“I’m sorry.” He mouthes as he feels his chest constrict again and the familiar tang of iron rises in the back of his throat.
The next time that Woohyun visits, the thing he’s been dreading finally appears. Sunggyu’s sleeping peacefully, heavily sedated with painkillers and anaesthetics that Woohyun has never even heard of before. The doctors tell him that Sunggyu has had another attack, even worse than the ones that he’s had previously. They tell him that he probably doesn’t have much time left, and Woohyun can’t make out the expression in their eyes. It could be detachment (sadness). Even aloofness (sorrow) but Woohyun still can’t make it out. Doctors will be doctors.
Woohyun seats himself in the uncomfortable plastic chair and prepares himself for a very long night. He stares at the ceiling and finds that it draws his interest more than he’d prefer.
When Sunggyu finally wakes up, disorientated and confused, Woohyun is the first one there. Of course, it could be because he never left. Either way, the first thing Sunggyu sees when he wakes up is Nam Woohyun’s furious face. He remains stony faced and clenches his fist throughout all of Woohyun’s heated lectures as the taller boy reprimands him for pushing himself too much, too hard until his condition had worsened to the point where he was constantly jacked up on painkillers and sedatives.
Hoya and Dongwoo turn up just when Myungsoo and Sungyeol are trying to calm Woohyun down, and Sungjong’s freaking out and apologising to everyone (why would you need to say sorry, asks Hoya) and Sunggyu has his eyes fixed on the ceiling again. But even so, Myungsoo can make out the silent drops of water that fall from the corner of Sunggyu’s eyes because even though he pretends he’s not, he’s scared too, and Myungsoo quietly and hesitatingly relinquishes his grip on Woohyun and pushes him forward to stand next to Sunggyu.
Just do it, Sungyeol mouthes at Woohyun, waving his hands frantically and attracting the attention of a passing nurse who asks whether he’s having a panic attack.
Of course, Woohyun notices the tears straight away, and gently he reaches out to brush away the drops of icy water from Sunggyu’s too-pale cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and he holds onto Sunggyu’s hands despite the other’s attempts to pull away, “I just want to help,” he continues, “even if you hate me for it, Sunggyu.”
It’s the last part of the sentence that catches Sunggyu’s attention. Slowly, he turns his head to one side so that he’s gazing directly into Woohyun’s eyes, and oh god, Woohyun’s forgotten how mind-shatteringly beautiful Sunggyu’s eyes are, even when they filling with tears like how Sunggyu’s are now.
“You think I hate you?” Sunggyu whispers, his voice a muted murmur.
“You honestly think I could ever hate you?” His voice is rising now, and Woohyun’s starting to panic because its obvious how agitated Sunggyu is getting, and how his breath is starting to come in short uneven huffs.
“N-No, I, wait, Sunggyu - I-It’s not what you -“
“And I thought I was being selfish! Nam Woohyun, how dare you?” Sunggyu whisper-yells, tear falling freely from his eyes now, “how can you think that way when I’m trying to stay away from you for your own sake!?”
Woohyun’s dumbstruck by Sunggyu’s confession, and his grip on the other’s hand tightens as Woohyun leans in to wrap a steady arm around Sunggyu who’s struggling for breath. Dongwoo steps in concern and fear written all over his face, but Myungsoo holds out a hand to stop him and Hoya nods in agreement, tears streaking down his face as he pulls Dongwoo back next to him. Sungyeol’s shoulders are shaking as he tries to stiffle the sobs, and Myungsoo wraps a comforting arm around the taller boy as Sungjong just stares sadly at Woohyun and Sunggyu; lovers fated to be but destined to part.
Woohyun is so close to Sunggyu now, and he tells him, as calmly and as reassuringly as he can, that no, he is most definitely not going to stay away from Sunggyu, and that no, Sunggyu can try all he likes, but Woohyun won’t leave him.
“Why?” Sunggyu whispers weakly, as he starts coughing violently, “why now?”
“Because,” Woohyun murmurs back, as the nurses push him aside, and a doctor shoves his way past him, “we’re meant to be, Sunggyu. We always were, and we always will be.”
He watches, as Sunggyu stares back helplessly at him as the convulsions start to take over and he’s coughing blodd up violently. He watches with tears running desperately down his face, standing tall and strong for Sunggyu who is so weak and defenceless and needs him so badly, watches as the doctors injects sedatives and painkillers and muscle relaxants. He watches how Sunggyu’s eyes never leave him even when he’s tossing in pain, he watches as Sunggyu’s eyes finally close, and his chest starts rising in even patterns again and the doctors strap an oxygen mask over his beautiful face.
He keeps watch over Sunggyu all through the night and continues to hold his hand, stroking the soft caramel coloured hair even though he knows that Sunggyu is unconcious and doesn’t know he’s there and forces his eyes to remain open so that he can watch over Sunggyu that little much longer, even when Sungyeol tiredly tells him that he should go get some rest and that Hoya and Dongwoo are sleeping in the cafeteria downstairs.
Woohyun shakes his head, and replies that he’ll stay with Sunggyu because the other boy needs him and because Woohyun wants to imprint the image of Sunggyu’s face, the shape of his lips, the contours of his cheeks and the colour of his eyes into his memory before they have to part all too soon.
And they will have to eventually. But Woohyun doesn’t want to let go of Sunggyu just yet.
There are 15 days remaining in this time limited life.
Pairing: Woogyu
Genre: Angst, drama
Rating: PG -13
Warning: Yaoi, heavy angst
1 and a half months later - 29th September 2011
Woohyun and Sunggyu reconcile when Sunggyu is so weak that he can barely keep his eyes open and he’s frequently finding it hard to breathe. They reconcile a little too late, and a little too sadly, even if it’s for a short amount of time.
Woohyun visits Sunggyu in hospital everyday. They all do. Myungsoo, Sungyeol, Hoya, Dongwoo and Sungjong - they all visit Sunggyu as often as they can. Maybe it is an unspoken rule, or an inevitable knowledge that prompts them to do so. Or maybe it is because they know that regret is a heavy burden. Either way, they visit Sunggyu, knowing full well that Death has already laid its claim to their precious friend.
Woohyun visits Sunggyu. Sunggyu ignores him and Woohyun can’t help but wonder why, why it is that Sunggyu always turns his face away from him everytime he sits down in the plastic white chair provided. He tries talking to him, but it always ends in an awkward silence as Sunggyu stares aimlessly out the window at the sunlit scenery outside, as if the world were mocking him. Woohyun can only watch as Sunggyu gets paler and weaker by the day, until he’s struggling to breathe at times and coughing up blood at every strenuous movement he makes. Everytime Woohyun walks down the sickly white corridor that smells of death and too much disinfectant, he slows down his steps, until he’s barely moving at all, because he’s afraid of what he’ll see when he reaches Room 706. He’s afraid of what the future holds and the potential it brings.
Sungjong drops by Sunggyu’s room one day, with a bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers in one hand and Sunggyu’s familiar ratty diary. It’s still the one that Woohyun gave him. He still uses it and writes in it (but Sunggyu would never let Woohyun know that). Sunggyu takes one look at the sunflowers and gestures for Sungjong to drop them in a vase placed next to the windowsill, and complements Sungjong on his choice. The sunflowers are very bright (dull) and it’s making him feel more optimism (heartbreak) about his future (none at all).
Sungjong smiles sweetly and asks how Sunggyu feels. He apologises because the other couldn’t make it. Hoya and Dongwoo are busy teaching dance classes, Myungsoo and Sungyeol are overloaded with customers at their café and Woohyun is attending a meeting with a producer about writing the backing track for some famous band or other. Life goes on even if one person is dying. Sunggyu assures Sungjong that he’s fine (he’s not) and that he’s slowly recovering (he had an attack just yesterday - one that left him choking up bright red splatters of blood) and that he wants to get out of the hospital as soon as possible (impossible).
Sungjong doesn’t believe him but he pretends to, if only for his hyung’s sake, and if only to hide the tears that are threatening to spill from his eyes.
Sunggyu glances curiously at the younger’s unusually moist eyes and decides not to comment, and instead makes some remark about the weather. But weather can only sustain a conversation for so long, and soon silence is hanging around the room, awkward and heavy. It’s throught this silence that Sungjong asks.
“Why do you do it, hyung?”
Sunggyu pretends that he doesn’t know what Sungjong’s talking about and gives him a very unconvincing questioning look. Of course Sungjong doesn’t buy it, and the younger continues to elaborate as he pursed his lips in confusion.
“…Why do you ignore Woohyun, hyung?”
Sunggyu sighs. The younger obviously wasn’t going to let this rest until he had an answer, and Sunggyu wasn’t exactly in a position to run away from the maknae (hooked up to at least three strange machines and an intravenous drip a with bunch of needles in him - not exactly useful when it came to running away), so he averts his eyes and speaks to the ceiling as if it’s the most fascinating piece of art he’s ever come across (it probably is).
“I. I don’t know, Jongie. It’s just, I don’t really want to face him, not like this.”
“Like what?”
Sunggyu spares a glance at the blond haired boy and turns back to the ceiling, choosing his words carefully,
“I feel like if I let him back into my life, I’m being incredibly selfish. It’s like I’m asking for too much from him. Honestly, I think it would be better if he just went back to avoiding me and forget I ever existed.”
“B-But why?” Sungjong chokes out as his hyung’s heartbreakingly honest answer. Sunggyu gives him a smile - sweet and all sadness, and replies,
“You know why Sungjong. Don’t pretend you don’t.”
Sungjong falls silent, and Sunggyu can hear sniffles coming from the younger boy, before the sound of a chair scraping back is heard followed by a flurry of footsteps. Sunggyu finally tears his eyes away from the unbelievably interesting ceiling and gazes sadly after Sungjong, and almost unconciously reaches out as if he wanted to run after the younger boy when he feels something inside him snap.
“I’m sorry.” He mouthes as he feels his chest constrict again and the familiar tang of iron rises in the back of his throat.
The next time that Woohyun visits, the thing he’s been dreading finally appears. Sunggyu’s sleeping peacefully, heavily sedated with painkillers and anaesthetics that Woohyun has never even heard of before. The doctors tell him that Sunggyu has had another attack, even worse than the ones that he’s had previously. They tell him that he probably doesn’t have much time left, and Woohyun can’t make out the expression in their eyes. It could be detachment (sadness). Even aloofness (sorrow) but Woohyun still can’t make it out. Doctors will be doctors.
Woohyun seats himself in the uncomfortable plastic chair and prepares himself for a very long night. He stares at the ceiling and finds that it draws his interest more than he’d prefer.
When Sunggyu finally wakes up, disorientated and confused, Woohyun is the first one there. Of course, it could be because he never left. Either way, the first thing Sunggyu sees when he wakes up is Nam Woohyun’s furious face. He remains stony faced and clenches his fist throughout all of Woohyun’s heated lectures as the taller boy reprimands him for pushing himself too much, too hard until his condition had worsened to the point where he was constantly jacked up on painkillers and sedatives.
Hoya and Dongwoo turn up just when Myungsoo and Sungyeol are trying to calm Woohyun down, and Sungjong’s freaking out and apologising to everyone (why would you need to say sorry, asks Hoya) and Sunggyu has his eyes fixed on the ceiling again. But even so, Myungsoo can make out the silent drops of water that fall from the corner of Sunggyu’s eyes because even though he pretends he’s not, he’s scared too, and Myungsoo quietly and hesitatingly relinquishes his grip on Woohyun and pushes him forward to stand next to Sunggyu.
Just do it, Sungyeol mouthes at Woohyun, waving his hands frantically and attracting the attention of a passing nurse who asks whether he’s having a panic attack.
Of course, Woohyun notices the tears straight away, and gently he reaches out to brush away the drops of icy water from Sunggyu’s too-pale cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and he holds onto Sunggyu’s hands despite the other’s attempts to pull away, “I just want to help,” he continues, “even if you hate me for it, Sunggyu.”
It’s the last part of the sentence that catches Sunggyu’s attention. Slowly, he turns his head to one side so that he’s gazing directly into Woohyun’s eyes, and oh god, Woohyun’s forgotten how mind-shatteringly beautiful Sunggyu’s eyes are, even when they filling with tears like how Sunggyu’s are now.
“You think I hate you?” Sunggyu whispers, his voice a muted murmur.
“You honestly think I could ever hate you?” His voice is rising now, and Woohyun’s starting to panic because its obvious how agitated Sunggyu is getting, and how his breath is starting to come in short uneven huffs.
“N-No, I, wait, Sunggyu - I-It’s not what you -“
“And I thought I was being selfish! Nam Woohyun, how dare you?” Sunggyu whisper-yells, tear falling freely from his eyes now, “how can you think that way when I’m trying to stay away from you for your own sake!?”
Woohyun’s dumbstruck by Sunggyu’s confession, and his grip on the other’s hand tightens as Woohyun leans in to wrap a steady arm around Sunggyu who’s struggling for breath. Dongwoo steps in concern and fear written all over his face, but Myungsoo holds out a hand to stop him and Hoya nods in agreement, tears streaking down his face as he pulls Dongwoo back next to him. Sungyeol’s shoulders are shaking as he tries to stiffle the sobs, and Myungsoo wraps a comforting arm around the taller boy as Sungjong just stares sadly at Woohyun and Sunggyu; lovers fated to be but destined to part.
Woohyun is so close to Sunggyu now, and he tells him, as calmly and as reassuringly as he can, that no, he is most definitely not going to stay away from Sunggyu, and that no, Sunggyu can try all he likes, but Woohyun won’t leave him.
“Why?” Sunggyu whispers weakly, as he starts coughing violently, “why now?”
“Because,” Woohyun murmurs back, as the nurses push him aside, and a doctor shoves his way past him, “we’re meant to be, Sunggyu. We always were, and we always will be.”
He watches, as Sunggyu stares back helplessly at him as the convulsions start to take over and he’s coughing blodd up violently. He watches with tears running desperately down his face, standing tall and strong for Sunggyu who is so weak and defenceless and needs him so badly, watches as the doctors injects sedatives and painkillers and muscle relaxants. He watches how Sunggyu’s eyes never leave him even when he’s tossing in pain, he watches as Sunggyu’s eyes finally close, and his chest starts rising in even patterns again and the doctors strap an oxygen mask over his beautiful face.
He keeps watch over Sunggyu all through the night and continues to hold his hand, stroking the soft caramel coloured hair even though he knows that Sunggyu is unconcious and doesn’t know he’s there and forces his eyes to remain open so that he can watch over Sunggyu that little much longer, even when Sungyeol tiredly tells him that he should go get some rest and that Hoya and Dongwoo are sleeping in the cafeteria downstairs.
Woohyun shakes his head, and replies that he’ll stay with Sunggyu because the other boy needs him and because Woohyun wants to imprint the image of Sunggyu’s face, the shape of his lips, the contours of his cheeks and the colour of his eyes into his memory before they have to part all too soon.
And they will have to eventually. But Woohyun doesn’t want to let go of Sunggyu just yet.
There are 15 days remaining in this time limited life.