*sigh*
i sit here and i know there's something missing in my life. maybe i shouldn't get so worked up over you. i can't help it. simply because i won't find anyone else like you, ever and it sucks that now that i did there isn't much to be done. oh yeah,...and that whole i don't know if you feel the same thing gets in the way. it's too early for this. keyword, slow. i tend to obssess over the good things. it's been a while and the last one SUCKED. he's still around and i have to deal with it because he's like a grease stain on my life. he's not gonna go away. i hope he sees this. maybe he'll get it. probably not. *sigh*
it's so ironic. the people that i don't want needing me do, and the people that i want to need me, don't need me as much as i would like. why do i want people needing me? i suppose i just want to be loved and not the kind that you post on your friends lj/myspace so that everyone can see. I want the kind that genuinely cares. I want the kind that never goes away and gets stronger with time. I want to be able to openly feel and not be ashamed about it. I want to feel and not think i'm gonna be taken advantage of. i want to feel like my insides aren't turning into dust as we speak. music and singing and being wrapped up in my career can only do so much for this. It's not enough. I think i'm following troop with the lovely nicko. I'm lonely. wow..i finally admitted that. I never admit anything. not because i'm pridelful, but because i don't want to be weak. I associate feelings with being weak. I don't know why. *sigh*
hopefully you do something for me. I'll wait. I always will. I'm not gonna let you go too easily because you're something worth my time and effort....I hope.
it's so ironic. the people that i don't want needing me do, and the people that i want to need me, don't need me as much as i would like. why do i want people needing me? i suppose i just want to be loved and not the kind that you post on your friends lj/myspace so that everyone can see. I want the kind that genuinely cares. I want the kind that never goes away and gets stronger with time. I want to be able to openly feel and not be ashamed about it. I want to feel and not think i'm gonna be taken advantage of. i want to feel like my insides aren't turning into dust as we speak. music and singing and being wrapped up in my career can only do so much for this. It's not enough. I think i'm following troop with the lovely nicko. I'm lonely. wow..i finally admitted that. I never admit anything. not because i'm pridelful, but because i don't want to be weak. I associate feelings with being weak. I don't know why. *sigh*
hopefully you do something for me. I'll wait. I always will. I'm not gonna let you go too easily because you're something worth my time and effort....I hope.