My life is so boring
Everyone's life just seems so fucking eventful and mine just goes by so damn slowly. People have news to tell and new things to talk about and i don't. I'm just living in a never-ending monotonous whirlpool that could bore anyone to tears. I hate being here sometimes when my bet friends are so far away. I can't give them a quick call just to say hello. I have to count back 7 hours to make sure i'm not calling at some obscure time and i can only talk for about 4 to 5 minutes before my fucking phonecard is finished. Fucking exchange rate. I miss out on people's lives for years at a time and that hurts. People change ands you're not there to see it. I've changed and people get surprised when i act differently. I'm glad that i'm the person i am today but i just wish i didn't always have to feel this gaping whole in my heart. Everyday starts out as torture until something cheers me up. I'm glad to have the friends i do here at Rhodes because my life would probably be meaningless for the most part. Maybe i'm getting depressed again because it's getting harder and harder to wake up every morning and i love to sleep again. I hope i snap out of it soon because i want to be able to enjoy living everyday and not be some boring. dull person who i probably wouldn't want to be around. At least i'm going to a huge party on friday, Maybe that will do the trick. Let's hope it does. I'm also getting some money from my parents so i'll be able to buy some cool stuff with that. I actually want to go clothes shopping. Maybe then i wouldn't look like a sad little hiefer. God i'm pathetic. Let me spare you anymore self pity. The show must go on.