THAT BIT WAS THE FIRST PART I WROTE IN THE WHOLE THING.
UGH, the tree scene was so difficult to write, but it ended up being my favourite part out of all of it.
BROKEN HAUNTED MATTHEW. BLAME DANDAN AND HIS EXCELLENT 'HAUNTED' FACE. No, but really, I had so many Matthew war feelings to get out. IT HURTS, BUT YOU'RE WELCOME.
Ugh, Lavinia, ugh. IDEK about her. Each leave he comes back a little different, further from the Matthew she thinks he is, yet she stays in this stasis. I think that frustrates him (hence the scene by the alder trees with Mary: "Do you think she sees it, the way you do?"). And of course, they met during the war, which by its nature closed him off to much of what he was before, especially when he came back to England. He had to adjust, and I think that parallels with how Lavinia hasn't changed; England stays the same too, when Matthew keeps returning to it and her with a greater gap between them, where he has seen so much and has to keep it bottled up for decorum's sake, and he's unable to compare the fact that England, and Lavinia, can carry on while France, and him, are constantly on shifting sands.
Which is why it's interesting he sees Napier, because there is someone who knows the same experience as he does, but also knows a small sliver of his former life, and knows just how juxtaposed they are.
UGH, the tree scene was so difficult to write, but it ended up being my favourite part out of all of it.
BROKEN HAUNTED MATTHEW. BLAME DANDAN AND HIS EXCELLENT 'HAUNTED' FACE. No, but really, I had so many Matthew war feelings to get out. IT HURTS, BUT YOU'RE WELCOME.
Ugh, Lavinia, ugh. IDEK about her. Each leave he comes back a little different, further from the Matthew she thinks he is, yet she stays in this stasis. I think that frustrates him (hence the scene by the alder trees with Mary: "Do you think she sees it, the way you do?").
And of course, they met during the war, which by its nature closed him off to much of what he was before, especially when he came back to England. He had to adjust, and I think that parallels with how Lavinia hasn't changed; England stays the same too, when Matthew keeps returning to it and her with a greater gap between them, where he has seen so much and has to keep it bottled up for decorum's sake, and he's unable to compare the fact that England, and Lavinia, can carry on while France, and him, are constantly on shifting sands.
Which is why it's interesting he sees Napier, because there is someone who knows the same experience as he does, but also knows a small sliver of his former life, and knows just how juxtaposed they are.
ANYWAY.
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