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lovexwentxred August 26 2012, 07:19:34 UTC
LOL DON'T MIND ME I'M JUST LEAVING MESSAGES ON EVERYTHING.

Okay first, that passage about Mary imagining Matthew in war is the greatest. IT HURTS ME THO. That's the little preview you posted at Tumblr awhile back right? UGH I LOVE IT STILL.

There it was. The fact of whom she was bound to. Lavinia may have had Matthew's ring, but he did not hold her secrets.

GURLLLLLLLLL -- HOW DO YOU WRITE? TEACH ME YOUR WAYS.

Their moments out under the tree. ALWEJRAOIWEUR. They just can't let each other go, no matter how much they try.

“We cannot leave this alone, can we?” he said, anguished, small, his fingers grazing her spine much more confident than his words indicated.
“No. We cannot.”

ANNDDD THIS WAS THE MOMENT I MIGHT HAVE HYPERVENTILATED A LITTLE.

PLUS THERE IS BROKEN AND HAUNTED MATTHEW. THANK YOU. EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE EVER WANTED TO HAVE SEEN IN HIM.

I love how you present the relationship between he and Lavinia as well. How she's just comfortable and right for him, but also doesn't bring out the very best. He's still Matthew with her but not at the potential he could be with Mary. There is love there but it's not that all consuming, can never let go type of love he has with Mary.

UGH THIS IS BASICALLY FLAWLESS SO FAR AND I HAVE TO GO RN BUT THE REST SHALL BE READ TOMORROW. CRYING ABOUT IT.

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zulu_ottawa August 26 2012, 16:06:39 UTC
THAT BIT WAS THE FIRST PART I WROTE IN THE WHOLE THING.

UGH, the tree scene was so difficult to write, but it ended up being my favourite part out of all of it.

BROKEN HAUNTED MATTHEW. BLAME DANDAN AND HIS EXCELLENT 'HAUNTED' FACE. No, but really, I had so many Matthew war feelings to get out. IT HURTS, BUT YOU'RE WELCOME.

Ugh, Lavinia, ugh. IDEK about her. Each leave he comes back a little different, further from the Matthew she thinks he is, yet she stays in this stasis. I think that frustrates him (hence the scene by the alder trees with Mary: "Do you think she sees it, the way you do?").
And of course, they met during the war, which by its nature closed him off to much of what he was before, especially when he came back to England. He had to adjust, and I think that parallels with how Lavinia hasn't changed; England stays the same too, when Matthew keeps returning to it and her with a greater gap between them, where he has seen so much and has to keep it bottled up for decorum's sake, and he's unable to compare the fact that England, and Lavinia, can carry on while France, and him, are constantly on shifting sands.

Which is why it's interesting he sees Napier, because there is someone who knows the same experience as he does, but also knows a small sliver of his former life, and knows just how juxtaposed they are.

ANYWAY.

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zulu_ottawa August 26 2012, 18:10:51 UTC
OH AND LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT MATTHEW AND HIS RELATIONSHIP TO DUTY. I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ON THIS.

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