The road and the dreaded fork in it.
Okay, here I am at the point of my life where I'm at a crossroads.
I don't think I've ever really been at one, coz I am (was?) the type who knows what she wants, and works towards getting it.
For as far as I can remember, I've always had a certain plan. I am not used to all this "go with the flow", "we'll cross the bridge when we come to it" kinda thing that guys infamously implement on you.
I need certainty, I need security.
So here's the story.
After SPM when everyone was struggling to decide what they wanted to do in life, I already knew. The post-SPM trip to Melbourne in December 2004 resulted in me falling in love with the city and had me determined that I would one day go there to further my studies.
Due to some circumstances, I did not get to do my degree there. But no worries, I told myself. I would do some post-graduate course over there, as soon as I was done with my degree. Back then, I was aiming for the Advanced Diploma in Retail Design course offered at Swinburne.
Boy was I disappointed when they suddenly decided to discontinue that course late last year.
But sokay, I said. I have time to consider other options. I still had one more year to complete my degree anyways..
Fast forward to the day I completed my degree.
At this point, I was extremely exhausted and worn out from the final year workload. You could prolly say the final year of my degree scarred me to the point where I didn't want to do anything involving interior architecture and design. I had enough. Just the thought of it totally put me off. I know I may be exaggerating and stuff, but yeah.
However, the desire to further my studies in Melbourne remained. In fact, it was stronger than ever.
When my passion for interior design dwindled, my interest in sustainability and environmental issues concerning the built environment heightened. And that's why I decided I would pursue a Masters Degree in Environment and Planning.
But to this very day, I stillll have not heard from any of the universities I applied to, and I am getting more and more anxious about it.
I don't know what to do about this. I think I've bugged my agent enough already. Mama Papa have suggested I consider other options, but I don't think anything else interests me.. You can't simply do your Masters in something you're not interested in right? There won't be a driving force to complete it.
Actually I wouldn't mind if I didn't pursue a Masters Degree and instead take up something like culinary arts, specialising in patisserie or even a course in jewellery design.. Thing is, Papa wouldn't be too happy about it and I would have to live with the guilt of not living up to his expectations and letting him down.. It's just the pressure of being the first child and stuff.
I know there's this part of me that would be content doing things like setting up my own jewellery line (expanding Kish on the Chic, perhaps?) or even running my own little pastry cafe.. I know I can be happy doing that.
But then, there's this other part of me that tells me I am capable of much more than that. I want to promote sustainable development. I want to contribute to the community and make a difference.
I could apply for other universities in Australia that offer courses similar to Environment and Planning, but the problem now is that it has to be Melbourne! Not Adelaide, not Sydney, not Perth. This is coz Sha has already received an offer letter from RMIT and going to another state would just defeat the whole purpose of persuading her to continue her studies in Australia kan?
I don't know why there are so many obstacles getting in the way of me studying in Melbourne. From the very start, they begin to appear one by one. But now, I've reached the point where I don't care what happens, I am definitely going to Melbourne next year. This one is an absolute must. I just don't know what I'll end up doing there :-/
Ya Allah, please help me....
xx
Zuliana
I don't think I've ever really been at one, coz I am (was?) the type who knows what she wants, and works towards getting it.
For as far as I can remember, I've always had a certain plan. I am not used to all this "go with the flow", "we'll cross the bridge when we come to it" kinda thing that guys infamously implement on you.
I need certainty, I need security.
So here's the story.
After SPM when everyone was struggling to decide what they wanted to do in life, I already knew. The post-SPM trip to Melbourne in December 2004 resulted in me falling in love with the city and had me determined that I would one day go there to further my studies.
Due to some circumstances, I did not get to do my degree there. But no worries, I told myself. I would do some post-graduate course over there, as soon as I was done with my degree. Back then, I was aiming for the Advanced Diploma in Retail Design course offered at Swinburne.
Boy was I disappointed when they suddenly decided to discontinue that course late last year.
But sokay, I said. I have time to consider other options. I still had one more year to complete my degree anyways..
Fast forward to the day I completed my degree.
At this point, I was extremely exhausted and worn out from the final year workload. You could prolly say the final year of my degree scarred me to the point where I didn't want to do anything involving interior architecture and design. I had enough. Just the thought of it totally put me off. I know I may be exaggerating and stuff, but yeah.
However, the desire to further my studies in Melbourne remained. In fact, it was stronger than ever.
When my passion for interior design dwindled, my interest in sustainability and environmental issues concerning the built environment heightened. And that's why I decided I would pursue a Masters Degree in Environment and Planning.
But to this very day, I stillll have not heard from any of the universities I applied to, and I am getting more and more anxious about it.
I don't know what to do about this. I think I've bugged my agent enough already. Mama Papa have suggested I consider other options, but I don't think anything else interests me.. You can't simply do your Masters in something you're not interested in right? There won't be a driving force to complete it.
Actually I wouldn't mind if I didn't pursue a Masters Degree and instead take up something like culinary arts, specialising in patisserie or even a course in jewellery design.. Thing is, Papa wouldn't be too happy about it and I would have to live with the guilt of not living up to his expectations and letting him down.. It's just the pressure of being the first child and stuff.
I know there's this part of me that would be content doing things like setting up my own jewellery line (expanding Kish on the Chic, perhaps?) or even running my own little pastry cafe.. I know I can be happy doing that.
But then, there's this other part of me that tells me I am capable of much more than that. I want to promote sustainable development. I want to contribute to the community and make a difference.
I could apply for other universities in Australia that offer courses similar to Environment and Planning, but the problem now is that it has to be Melbourne! Not Adelaide, not Sydney, not Perth. This is coz Sha has already received an offer letter from RMIT and going to another state would just defeat the whole purpose of persuading her to continue her studies in Australia kan?
I don't know why there are so many obstacles getting in the way of me studying in Melbourne. From the very start, they begin to appear one by one. But now, I've reached the point where I don't care what happens, I am definitely going to Melbourne next year. This one is an absolute must. I just don't know what I'll end up doing there :-/
Ya Allah, please help me....
xx
Zuliana