Same difference.
First things first, it's gonna be my birthday in exactly a month's time! Heehee :-D
However, I'm having a hard time looking for something to wear to my party that I'm actually worriedd I won't have enough time to make sure everything's perfect. Huu. Dammit, I wish I had started looking earlier! :-/
And for some reason, I'm not as ecstatic about turning 21 as I should be. This is very weird, considering I always get excited about things like this. Hmmm.
I mean like seriously, will there be any difference? My parents could get me a pretty charm bracelet with cute silver keys on it to signify the keys of freedom lah kononnya, but macamm, freedom lah sangat kan.. Blegh.
My dad is still gonna treat me like a kid. I just know it :-(
And this is totally unrelated, but for the past couple of days I've been driving alone a lot and that's the time when I start to think. Not that I don't usually think, but like you know, think thinkk. Uninterrupted thinking. And maybe coz of the destination or what, but I suddenly started to feel the way I felt a year ago. I don't know why, but I tend to do this a lot. By this, I mean comparing how I am in the present to how I was exactly one year ago. It's just this habit I have kot. Does anyone else do this?
But what bothers me is I know what I have now is a lot better than what I had last year. So why do I feel like it's the same? Tak make sense.
And this may sound silly, but due to what I've experienced before, there's this part of me that thinks what happened in the past is gonna happen again. You know, history repeating itself kinda thing.
And I'm scared.
Really scared.
And because of this, I wish I could do whatever I can to prevent it from happening again. But I don't know howw because it's not like I did anything to cause it the first time. And besides, all this is beyond my power and capabilities.
Oh god, I don't want it to happen again please. Huuu.
Won't somebody please tell me things are gonna be different this time? I need to hear it.
Yes, this is how messed up I can be sometimes.
:-/
However, I'm having a hard time looking for something to wear to my party that I'm actually worriedd I won't have enough time to make sure everything's perfect. Huu. Dammit, I wish I had started looking earlier! :-/
And for some reason, I'm not as ecstatic about turning 21 as I should be. This is very weird, considering I always get excited about things like this. Hmmm.
I mean like seriously, will there be any difference? My parents could get me a pretty charm bracelet with cute silver keys on it to signify the keys of freedom lah kononnya, but macamm, freedom lah sangat kan.. Blegh.
My dad is still gonna treat me like a kid. I just know it :-(
And this is totally unrelated, but for the past couple of days I've been driving alone a lot and that's the time when I start to think. Not that I don't usually think, but like you know, think thinkk. Uninterrupted thinking. And maybe coz of the destination or what, but I suddenly started to feel the way I felt a year ago. I don't know why, but I tend to do this a lot. By this, I mean comparing how I am in the present to how I was exactly one year ago. It's just this habit I have kot. Does anyone else do this?
But what bothers me is I know what I have now is a lot better than what I had last year. So why do I feel like it's the same? Tak make sense.
And this may sound silly, but due to what I've experienced before, there's this part of me that thinks what happened in the past is gonna happen again. You know, history repeating itself kinda thing.
And I'm scared.
Really scared.
And because of this, I wish I could do whatever I can to prevent it from happening again. But I don't know howw because it's not like I did anything to cause it the first time. And besides, all this is beyond my power and capabilities.
Oh god, I don't want it to happen again please. Huuu.
Won't somebody please tell me things are gonna be different this time? I need to hear it.
Yes, this is how messed up I can be sometimes.
:-/