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I know that you are a loving person. I know that you aren't wasting my time. I just wanted to hear it from you. I know that you can't understand why, but it is just something that I needed to hear. I know that I always say the wrong things to you and I no matter what I do I always tend to mess up a good thing. I'm just tired of being alone and being here is lonely. Majority of my friends are up at school and the friends that I have down here work all the time. I'm tired of seeing everyone else happy with someone and me here alone. Fucking random people isn't exciting anymore. I see my first love getting married and it scares me to death. Has it been that long? The truth of ot all is that I am scared to spend the rest of my years alone. Yes, I know that I am only going to be 24 but I haven't had a relationship relationship in a long time. Yes, there are girls that I dated and they were cool and we had fun but it's not the same. Then I look at good things that I fucked up like the last should have been relationship and I cry because everything that is good in my life I lose. I am just going to shut my mouth, say nothing, and let life take me where I am going to go. If it is meant to be then it is meant to be. If I am to fall for you and we are to be then I guess it will happen. I just hate when you take things the wrong way and think that I am saying something that I am not. I look at you and know that I know you better than most. I knwo that you are a caring person with a big heart. I learned something new about you tonight that I didn't know despite the disaster that I caused. Just understand why I tell you the things that I do...mainly being because I did't say anything before and look where that got me. Now I say to much..........................