Why is it that "all of the good ones are taken"... away?
This is so fucking weird. I have only just found out about Chris Boring... Muzikant... I have had so little time to log in lately, no pc yet sorted, as I am moving again and public pcs seem so time and user friendly. Besides it's good to get away from depending on onlining when you have a child and little way to get a life otherwise. But them things like this happen and you miss the most important news.
I was online, at about midday, at a local library. My priority was to look up the OFSTED reports to find a good school for Zain (you have to register them at 2 and a half, for entry at aged 4, if you want to stand a chance of a shot at a decent school!). As my half hour came to an end I decided to have a quick look at my emails. That's how I found out... Someone from the rants list, to which I don't belong, had sent me an email... and as I was reading the mail my fucking half hour came to an end. When I tried to book for more time, there wasn't any. The nearest internet cafe is closed for refurbishment so I have had to wait an hour to find out anything. I can't belive it's been as many days as it has since I checked my email accounts.
I may have to leave my pc. Tears beginning to run down my face, and I feel the concern of the guys either side of me, though they are saying nothing... kingmob23 has left a phone number, I will try and call him this evening.
I feel fucking crap. I truly believed that Chris would be one of my small online acquanitanceships that I would eventually come to meet in the flesh. He wanted to come to London last summer and I was cool about encouraging him to come... or at least coming and staying with me. Everything was so up in the air, and I was dealing with so much, and besides I had no idea how I would handle it if Chris made a move. I now feel that knowing Chris for the charmer he was, it probably would have been me that made the move anyway, and it is more likely that I was afraid of that. I am so fucked off at myself for not having thrown him an invitation to come. I am certain he'd have had a great time and made me topsy turvy existence, at that time, a little more focused on the good things in life.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm never going to be able to look into those amazing eyes, read his palms or make him laugh. I am so gutted for someone who, having 'met' him 4 years ago, never had any great length of time to get to know him other than through the posts he put up on Leigh's list, and the amazing amount of time spent with me online as I got over a big heartbreak. He was one of two reasons I started this blog in the first place, so that I could at least keep up with where he was at.
I have to go... tears streaming down my face.
I was online, at about midday, at a local library. My priority was to look up the OFSTED reports to find a good school for Zain (you have to register them at 2 and a half, for entry at aged 4, if you want to stand a chance of a shot at a decent school!). As my half hour came to an end I decided to have a quick look at my emails. That's how I found out... Someone from the rants list, to which I don't belong, had sent me an email... and as I was reading the mail my fucking half hour came to an end. When I tried to book for more time, there wasn't any. The nearest internet cafe is closed for refurbishment so I have had to wait an hour to find out anything. I can't belive it's been as many days as it has since I checked my email accounts.
I may have to leave my pc. Tears beginning to run down my face, and I feel the concern of the guys either side of me, though they are saying nothing... kingmob23 has left a phone number, I will try and call him this evening.
I feel fucking crap. I truly believed that Chris would be one of my small online acquanitanceships that I would eventually come to meet in the flesh. He wanted to come to London last summer and I was cool about encouraging him to come... or at least coming and staying with me. Everything was so up in the air, and I was dealing with so much, and besides I had no idea how I would handle it if Chris made a move. I now feel that knowing Chris for the charmer he was, it probably would have been me that made the move anyway, and it is more likely that I was afraid of that. I am so fucked off at myself for not having thrown him an invitation to come. I am certain he'd have had a great time and made me topsy turvy existence, at that time, a little more focused on the good things in life.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm never going to be able to look into those amazing eyes, read his palms or make him laugh. I am so gutted for someone who, having 'met' him 4 years ago, never had any great length of time to get to know him other than through the posts he put up on Leigh's list, and the amazing amount of time spent with me online as I got over a big heartbreak. He was one of two reasons I started this blog in the first place, so that I could at least keep up with where he was at.
I have to go... tears streaming down my face.