highrates? Notwithus!lowfixedrate
i took some nice pictures of hostel folk today, sitting on the stairs and doing what they do; talking bullshit, bragging, eating, drinking beer. i have lots of funny pictures, Caitlin at a falafel place in Berlin, Bourek and Lieschen on a blanket on the grass, Daniel and a girl called Adriana at the tea-house nearby. Daniel is pissed becaue he's trying to settle in Prague, to get a job -- he got some job handing out flyers to tourist types on Celetna, and was supposed to start today, but it rained and was miserable and he figured he wouldn't have much success anyhow. he tried to apply for a job here at the hostel, but a brainless Irish guy was hired instead. i've been spending a lot of time with Daniel, and he's a very sane type, which is quite comforting; but he's also terribly troubled with little things, little tyrannies, pointless little thoughts. we spent a lot of time today in the loft in the big dorm, just talking; and also kissing and other things, ahh. i should stop, i have to, but right now it's hard for me to refuse the arms of someone who wants me. there's a little epiphany there.
i'm reading Total Fears right now, Hrabal's letters to this little American student called Dubenka, and he refers to the United States (Spojene Staty) as the Delighted States (Spokojene Staty). i thought that was lovely. Hrabal is lovely, it's too bad more Americans don't read him, although one of the girls in the hostel, Olivia, a sort of bitchy sharp-nosed one, knew him; we talked about i served the king of England, his great syntax, how hard it must be to translate. how he died.
Bourek emailed me, saying that i could stay with him tomorrow night, but also that he is sick and that his mother doesn't particularly want me around. today is the seventh, which means i'm leaving in ten days. it seems like i've been here in Czechnya for so long, and i'm not particularly interested in going back. the loud, boring, burdened Americans at the hostel remind me of everything i hate about the situation in my country. (i take responsibility for it, not pride.) America is the land of the unbearable heaviness now, and Americans don't carry it well. they're all here in Europe, so they're compelled to enjoy themselves, drink, stagger around frenetically, vomit, as some sort of exorcism. i don't want to be with the miserable Americans here anymore, and i don't want to go back to miserable America.
misonou and i have thrown around the idea that i should visit her in Venice, and i would very much like to do that, because she, too, seems terribly interesting, and also a sane and (emotionally, intellectually) reliable sort. but also on her end, very busy. and on my end, i'm not sure how i would get there, and where i would stay, and how i would get back to Berlin for my flight home. but it would be nice, very nice.
i'm reading Total Fears right now, Hrabal's letters to this little American student called Dubenka, and he refers to the United States (Spojene Staty) as the Delighted States (Spokojene Staty). i thought that was lovely. Hrabal is lovely, it's too bad more Americans don't read him, although one of the girls in the hostel, Olivia, a sort of bitchy sharp-nosed one, knew him; we talked about i served the king of England, his great syntax, how hard it must be to translate. how he died.
Bourek emailed me, saying that i could stay with him tomorrow night, but also that he is sick and that his mother doesn't particularly want me around. today is the seventh, which means i'm leaving in ten days. it seems like i've been here in Czechnya for so long, and i'm not particularly interested in going back. the loud, boring, burdened Americans at the hostel remind me of everything i hate about the situation in my country. (i take responsibility for it, not pride.) America is the land of the unbearable heaviness now, and Americans don't carry it well. they're all here in Europe, so they're compelled to enjoy themselves, drink, stagger around frenetically, vomit, as some sort of exorcism. i don't want to be with the miserable Americans here anymore, and i don't want to go back to miserable America.
misonou and i have thrown around the idea that i should visit her in Venice, and i would very much like to do that, because she, too, seems terribly interesting, and also a sane and (emotionally, intellectually) reliable sort. but also on her end, very busy. and on my end, i'm not sure how i would get there, and where i would stay, and how i would get back to Berlin for my flight home. but it would be nice, very nice.