it is recommended to retain even the most dangerous books in the prospect of living forever.
without the lights on, my bedroom here is completely dark except for a little rectangle of orange light in the window up near the ceiling. so i'm able to crawl into my blankets and see nothing at all, nothing glowing in front of my eyelids, and it would be almost total sensory extinction if it weren't for the noise of the cars outside, and the water rushing through the pipes (because the walls in my parents' house are thin), and maybe there's something pleasant about that. but really my room here is very inhospitable, and i'm not at all attached to it.
i was hoping to accomplish something while i was here, nothing in particular, nothing concrete even, but something, at least. and although i did start working on bourek's album cover, and caught up on sleep, bought the new issue of berlin, and watched the emperor's nightingale, learned to read peoples' "microexpressions" (treasonous, uncontrollable little twitches of the facial muscles) with some software caitlin bought for $50 before realizing it only worked on PCs, and crawled into the little control room inside the giant fountain in Grant Park (pictures to follow), eh. i still don't have the sensation i've fulfilled the fuzzy desire i had coming here last week. and more anxiety about the trip, too; needless, i suppose, considering at this point all i need to do is renew my passport and buy the ticket back.
i got celestial harmonies by péter esterházy out of the library at school a few hours before i left on sunday, & it wasn't entirely unreasonable to think that i'd be able to finish it this week, i'm a quick reader, i expected i'd be sufficiently immersed in it to keep reading all week, and it's only 900 pages in any case, which isn't so long (to read, of course; it's an unthinkable length to write). but i started reading it in the airplane and realized it was going to take me months to finish, even. not the sort of book you check out of a library. but it's beautiful. less like a book and more like a miniature world. and a miniature austro-hungarian world at that. i am happy, even if i'll probably end up having to pay overdue fees because i can't bear to give it up. (also, i was the first person to check it out. how nice!)
***
"savages are easily satisfied with cheap beads in the following colors: dull white, dark blue, and vermillion red. expensive beads are often spurned by them. nonsavages should be given cheap books in the following colors: dead white, brown, and seaweed. books that in both subject matter as well as texture praise the sea are much sought after." (celestial harmonies.)
i was hoping to accomplish something while i was here, nothing in particular, nothing concrete even, but something, at least. and although i did start working on bourek's album cover, and caught up on sleep, bought the new issue of berlin, and watched the emperor's nightingale, learned to read peoples' "microexpressions" (treasonous, uncontrollable little twitches of the facial muscles) with some software caitlin bought for $50 before realizing it only worked on PCs, and crawled into the little control room inside the giant fountain in Grant Park (pictures to follow), eh. i still don't have the sensation i've fulfilled the fuzzy desire i had coming here last week. and more anxiety about the trip, too; needless, i suppose, considering at this point all i need to do is renew my passport and buy the ticket back.
i got celestial harmonies by péter esterházy out of the library at school a few hours before i left on sunday, & it wasn't entirely unreasonable to think that i'd be able to finish it this week, i'm a quick reader, i expected i'd be sufficiently immersed in it to keep reading all week, and it's only 900 pages in any case, which isn't so long (to read, of course; it's an unthinkable length to write). but i started reading it in the airplane and realized it was going to take me months to finish, even. not the sort of book you check out of a library. but it's beautiful. less like a book and more like a miniature world. and a miniature austro-hungarian world at that. i am happy, even if i'll probably end up having to pay overdue fees because i can't bear to give it up. (also, i was the first person to check it out. how nice!)
***
"savages are easily satisfied with cheap beads in the following colors: dull white, dark blue, and vermillion red. expensive beads are often spurned by them. nonsavages should be given cheap books in the following colors: dead white, brown, and seaweed. books that in both subject matter as well as texture praise the sea are much sought after." (celestial harmonies.)