no tak.

[zubird]

so i've been at school for four days now, classes have started [although i've had schedule trouble and haven't been able to get to a number of them], everything is unpacked, everything is in order. the Bulgarian roommate didn't show up, she has her own room in another building, so i'm alone. i've pushed the two double beds together. i also put a

Comments

Re: Czech men

[zubird]

i talked with this Englishman in Prague about Czech women and American women. he was a complete idiot. [ok, here's the link to what i wrote about him when i was there.] he said that American men liked Czech women because they were tired of American women being neurotic and hard to satisfy, but he personally thought Czech women were boring and only thought about money and never about Important World Issues [in his words]. i thought his description of American girls was actually pretty accurate, if sort of annoying, but his description of Czech girls was completely unfair, he was just falling back on the old Slavic stereotype of the practical, earthy woman who takes care of the loutish man who is irresponsible and drunkenly talks about Important World Issues in the pub. and anyway, Czechs in general are thriftier [cheaper] than Americans and probably English people, that is one generalization that i feel completely comfortable applying across the board.

i didn't think the Czechs i was with were at all more sexist than American males of the same age; maybe less afraid to offend [but, whatever, i'm immersed in Northeastern academia and i realize that not everyone is as interested in carefully crafting inoffensive language than folks up here] with jokes or things like that, but those don't bother me much. i don't often feel threatened by verbal harrassment because i know i'm probably equally or better equipped for that sort of combat than anyone else [hey, i'm aware of my strengths]. the sort of sexism that really bothers me, the sort of thing that's really insidious and corrosive, as far as i can tell, is pretty much equal.

if Americans seem politer, or less offensive, or friendlier, or whatever, it's because we are taught insincerity.

Re: Czech men

[donnanobispacem]

Do you think maybe sometimes we unwittingly start conforming to the expectations of men? Is it our girly “wanna-please-at-all-cost” nature?

I was recently involved with a man who I thought was wonderful and worth all sincerity (in other words, I thought he could handle it). I was very open and honest about my background (the things that formed me), about my moral and ethical dilemmas as well as my feelings for him. He was very much into me, until we disagreed on a point in which our values very much differed. Just like that I was no longer acceptable. It was strange, because he suddenly resented me for not being who I never pretended to be in the first place. I thought it grossly unfair and hurtful of him, to project an image of his perfect woman on me and later resent me for being honest, instead of living up to that image. I suppose I was projecting something on him as well, because I truly believed he was the type of man, who had tolerance for other people’s opinions/values and who doesn’t look for a mirror image in his partner. I was wrong.

I think you are correct in saying American men can be just as sexist as any other, but altogether, I think there has been a shift in the whole American society toward making it unacceptable to act in a certain way toward women, or make assumptions about people’s roles based on their gender. I know what you mean by saying it’s still in us (not only men, I am guilty of it too) and maybe more dangerous than ever, lurking beneath the surface, but I see it as the first step toward a shift in gender-role-perception paradigm. I think the Czech culture is one step behind in this.
It’s like smoking... It used to be completely acceptable, believed to make you look “cool”, but in the last few decades this has changed. It’s an impediment in social situations and by many considered a weakness/flaw. Most of the time, when I meat someone new and their smoking habit is introduced into the conversation for the first time, they always point out, that they are trying to quit. As if they knew it is expected of them. It is no longer “cool” to smoke. That is the first step (I am being an optimist, I know).